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I have eurotophobia (fear of women genitalia) and my therapist tells me I should confront my fear more

But every time I try I always end up beating around the bush

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Shelley's parents finally built up the nerve to confront their daughter about her time spent at the beach everyday...

 

 

Mom : "Quite a little operation you have going on out here sweetie.. but are you sure you've given this enough thought...?"

 

Shelley : "I sure have! This has always been my dream and I'm finally doing it! You should always do what yo...

An assistant for a film company is scared to confront his boss

One day he goes back home early because of the stress, after explaining the situation to his wife she says:

"You're going to go back to the set, and tell the director you're gonna need the support beams, the setpieces, and your rightful recognition for the hard work you did!"

Later tha...

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I noticed my friend Ted had been doing drugs a lot recently, so I decided to confront him

I said to Ted, "You're addicted" He said: "I'm not a dick, what do you mean"

Whenever I try to confront my wife about blueballing me, she always cuts me off

I hate it that she never lets me finish

Trump talking about buying Greenland is having Americans confront their biggest adversary...

...geography.

A boy desperately needs money to buy a new car

However, his mother forcibly tells him no. The boy, undeterred, decides to get a job to pay. He applies for many jobs, ranging from a mechanic to delivering newspapers. However, he is not accepted for any of them. Slowly, he gives up on his dream of buying a car.

Weeks later, the boy tells hi...

What do you do when an angry pack of clowns confronts you and tries to fight?

Go straight for the juggler.

Whenever I confront the messy baker

I'm always walking on eggshells.

A police officer confronts a man who he thinks is high on marijuana.

"How high are you?" He asks.

"No,you said it wrong, it's 'Hi! How are you?'"

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A woman applies for work at a construction site.

Her skills and recommendations are superb, so the foreman is ready to offer her the job. "We are kinda rough here. And we use body parts in our "sign language" to get around the noise and distance on the site."

"No problem," she replies, "all part of the job."

Soon, the foreman is on...

A farmer’s wife is looking out the window as she is washing some dishes and sees her son walking home from school.

The son is visibly angry. As he’s walking he kicks a pig. He continues to walk and kicks a chicken. When he gets inside the house the mother confronts him.

She says, “I saw what you did out there. For kicking the pig you get no bacon for one week and for kicking the chicken you get no eggs f...

A Policeman spots a man walking with three penguins

He walks up to confront them

P: Excuse me Sir but what are doing with these penguins

M: Well we decided to take advantage of the weather and go for stroll

P: You should go take those penguins to the zoo they would love it there

The Man agrees and walks off and the next d...

Bob and Mary are single residence in a nursing home care facility. Every night Mary goes to Bob’s room and Jacks him off before bed.

One evening Mary goes to Bob‘s room and sees that Margret is in there doing what she considered to be her job. Mary calmly walks out unseen. The next day at breakfast she confronts Bob. “I went to your room last night and Margret was at your bedside instead of me. What does she have that I don’t”?. ...

A father confronts his son...

Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”

Joseph confronts Mary...

Joseph: "Mary, I've heard you've been prostituting your body through the town!"
Mary: "Don't worry, Joseph. I was just trying to make a little prophet."

So a man walks into a bar..

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches,...

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A Panda walk into a bar.

The Panda immediately attacks the fucking hostess mauling her brutally. Screaming patrons run out side doors jump through windows all in an attempt to avoid the rampaging bear who by now is taking savage swipe after savage swipe tearing meaty chunks out of people as they run.

Finally the bar ...

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After landing at his airplane

the captain forgets to turn off the intercom!

The co-pilot asks "What are you doing after this?"

The pilot replies, "first thing I need to do is go for a shit! then I am gonna fuck the arse off that new blond stewardess.

The Stewardess hears this & runs to the cockpit to con...

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The Humble Tribs

A humble community of people, named the Tribs live at the foot of a mountain.

One day - after generations and generations of prosper at the foot of the mountain a monster appears at the top and tosses boulders down at the village - causing death, destruction and bewildering the Tribs.
...

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The eel shop

A Japanese laborer was so poor he couldn’t afford any side dishes and ate only rice. At lunch he would take his bento box and sit behind an unagi restaurant. Before each bite he would inhale the delicious smell coming from the restaurant and then put the plain rice into his mouth.

After a co...

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Jean suspects her husband is gay

She confronts him about it one day and asks him, “Do you even love me?”

“Of course I do! I love you, Jean!”

She starts crying and screams “I KNEW IT! WHO THE FUCK IS EUGENE?!”

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A Chinese man walks into a bar and sits right next to a Jewish man.

The Jewish man starts eyeing the Chinese man suspiciously, a dark expression covering his face. Suddenly, with no warning at all, he stands up, grabs the Chinese man by the neck, smashes his face against the bar and throws him to the floor.

The Chinese man, dazed and angry, stands up and con...

A man

A man is having dinner with his new girlfriend's family. They spend the early part of the evening talking, getting to know each other, and just generally having a good time.

After about an hour in however suddenly the father stops mid conversation, puts on some sneakers, and dashes around the...

the golfer

So a guy gets married and one of the first things he does after the honeymoon is to play 18 holes of golf with his buds, and they also have a few drinks afterwards.

When he gets home his wife confronts him: "I can't believe you'd go out all day after we're married, and to play golf! And you r...

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Three guys want to date a farmers daughter

There’s a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy. When they confront the farmer and he says

“Okay I’ll tell you what. You three go out and pick 100 things from my farm. If you can shove all 100 up your ass you can date my daughter. If you can’t I’ll shoot ya.”

They all accept and th...

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Just heard my neighbour telling her friend that I'm a "f*cking creepy weirdo" on the phone.

It's really pissed me off..

I almost crawled out from under her bed to confront her over it but her boyfriend got home from work early.

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There was a farmer who had two sons

tldr :

His wife died as soon as she gave birth to the second son. Because of this, the farmer always blamed his second son for his mother's death. But he did not fail in his responsibilities as a father. The farmer was poor but he worked really hard to get his two sons in grad school. They ...

You are now fish!

Catholics don't eat meat during the 40 days of lent. Now it so happened a Muslim carpenter moved into a catholic area. Now this guy loved his barbeque and he'd be out in his garden almost daily to enjoy his afternoon feast. Now lent started and the smoky smell wafting from his garden had many people...

A doctor has a friend, who one day admits he has recently become a vampire...

Having been friends since childhood, the doctor does not immediately dismiss the vampire. Instead, he offers to help.

“I have access to the blood bank at the hospital. If I fudge a few numbers I can sneak some out to help keep you fed, without hurting anyone”

The vampire thanks him an...

Ben Shapiro was loyal to Steam

All his friends, family, and co-workers knew that Ben would defend Steam in any argument, claiming it to be the superior game launcher, and the only one people should use. His loyalty was unmoving, and even gained him some branding deals with Valve.



One day while Ben was on his comput...

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3 men are traveling at night in the country when their car breaks down.

They see a house and push the car into the gravel drive way.

One of men goes to the door and rings the door bell. A farmer and his daughter answer the door and the man explains the situation.

The farmer agrees to let the 3 of them stay in his barn overnight just as long as they don't ...

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A man and his wife are doing yard work

When the wife decides that she had enough and goes inside to take a shower. The man, still doing yard work, realizes that he can’t find the rake and gets her attention through the bathroom window.

He cups his hands around his mouth and yells “I NEED THE RAKE!” The wife shrugs her shoulders,...

A man walks into a bar with a chicken and a bucket.

The barman looks puzzled and query’s the man as to why he has these items. The man replies that it’s a rare dancing chicken and offers to show the barman in exchange for a free drink. The barman agrees and the man sets the bucket down and places the chicken on top.

The chicken, amazingly, st...

An architect

An architect storms into the CEOs office holding a towel to his bloody nose. "Good God, man, what happened to you!?" the CEO exclaimed.

"Sir, the lead architect on the Legend project just punched me in the face for questioning his designs, which frankly are impossible. Take a look." The ar...

The story of the tramp and the holiday

The tramp sat in his park, as normal one cold winter day. He saw a young girl playing on the frozen lake. The ice gave and she fell in. Acting quickly, the tramp ran onto the ice and managed to pull her out and get her back to shore.

Waiting for him was a man in a suit. The girl ran over to h...

A sanguine tale

Jake and Ruth were blood analysts in a hospital. Given the proximity of the hospital to the highway, really gruesome motor accidents were quite common. So the hospital decided to house a huge supply of blood for emergencies, and these two were employed full time to analyse blood which they got, and ...

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Okay I have never seen this here and I have searched with 0 results but it’s in honor of my 50 year old brother who told it too me and recently passed away, (not related).

A man went to the circus and he sat with his wife a children, the circus began and all went well until the clown arrived, for some reason the clown focused on the man and humiliated him with he greatest of ease. He called him names, laughed at his clothes, joked about his accent, ridiculed where he ...

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Bowser gets fed up of his life in a castle and gets a job at the US Government...

in his new job, he quickly rises up to be an influential figure. He uses his newfound powers to (definitely not corruptly) trap peach in a tax evasion scandal, which resulted from her hiding her income in bricks. While she was being held awaiting trial, Mario confronts Bowser in his office, determin...

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Three men arrive in heaven at the same time. St. Peter comes out to greet them.

"Sorry about this guys," says St. Peter. "God didn't realize just how many people would get into heaven, so we have a new policy. You now have to tell me the story of how you died, and if I think it's sad or interesting enough, I'll let you in."

He walks up to the first man who is a nerdy, bo...

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I got in trouble for telling this joke in 5th grade on share a joke day.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with three handsome suitors.

Each suitor tried their best to charm the princess, but the princess could not choose which handsome suitor to marry.

The princess did love ping pong though, and so she decided to test the suitors' love.
...

The Pharmacist and a Thermometer

Upon arriving home a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, "It's the druggist.. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the drug...

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NSFW A man is trekking to a remote, but classy, mountain hostel...

on his way there he sees a guy fucking a goat. About a mile from his destination he sees another dude doing a goat. Arriving at his destination, he sees a man with a wooden leg masturbating behind the shed. He goes in and confronts the manager with what he saw and says "I thought this was a four ...

A missionary journeys out into the world.

A christian missionary journeys out into the world to spread his beliefs. One day he reaches a native african tribe, where he lives for a while, while teaching them his ways and attending their fields inturn for shelter.

Some time passes and one day the chiefs daughter gives birth to a child...

I found out my friend has been stealing garden gates recently.

I don’t want to confront him though incase he takes offence.

Bamboo

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After the meal the waiter comes to the table to give the panda the check. Without a word the panda draws a gun and shoots the waiter dead. He then gets up nonchalantly and heads for the door. Seeing what just transpired the manager confronts the pan...

A priest hires a contractor to paint his house.

The contractor thins out his paints using water hoping to stretch out his supply, so the final product ends up quite lacking. When the priest confronts him about it, he apologizes and asks if the priest would like him to redo everything.

The priest tells him, "Repaint, and thin no more."

A guy passes a store selling cheap trinkets from around the world

A small figurine in the window catches his eye. It's a little rabbit with a mallet getting ready to hit some mochi. The man recognises this as the rabbit in the moon from the story and decides he really likes it. He goes inside and asks the sales clerk about the price.

Upon hearing the price,...

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An Ethical Dilemma

You are playing in the club championship knockout final and the match was all square at the end of 17 holes. You had the honour and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple 7 iron to the pin.

Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it de...

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Parrot Joke

A lady walking to work evryday passes by a pet shop. Out on the sidewalk sits a parrot on his perch. As she passes the parrot goes "HEY LADY." she looks at him and says "yes" the parrot replies "You're fucking ugly." The lady gets her panties in a knot and walks off in a huff.

The next da...

A nun and a bus driver go to heaven.

They are greeted by Peter who checks their records and takes them to their new homes. First Peter takes the bus driver to a great big palace. Next Peter takes the nun to a wooden shack. The nun, confounded about the difference, confronts Peter:

Nun: "I am a woman of faith. How come I only got...

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A man, suspicious that his wife has been cheating on him hires a private investigator to follow her.

One night she tells her husband that she’s going out to see her mother.

The private investigator springs into action and follows her to the local bar. The private investigator then calls the husband and lets him know where she is.

Angry, the husband decides to load up his revolver, dr...

Looking out of the window I saw a neighbour stealing my socks off the washing line

I was going to confront him but I got cold feet

A newly published novelist wrote in her blog that her 100,000-word thriller got her $1,000,000 from her publisher.

She brags at a party that her words are worth $10 each. A slightly drunk guy walks up, confronts her by the bar, plots down $10 and says “OK, wise ass, give me one of those $10 words.” The writer calmly stuffs the bill in her pocket and says “thanks” and walks away.

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An explorer gets captured by an indigenous tribe.

The tribe's chief confronts the Explorer and explains, "we must harvest your skin so that we can make a canoe. For this, you may select a method of death."

The explorer thinks for a moment and asks for a fork.

Confused but interested the chief gets a fork and hands it to the explorer...

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[NSFW] A woman sits down on a plane for a long flight

Sitting in the window seat next to her is a middle aged man. Some time after the plane takes off the man lets out a small "Achoo!". Immediately he unzips his pants, pulls his dick out, wipes it off.

Aghast, the woman is so stunned that before she can speak he's zipped back up, staring out th...

A salesman knocks on a door

A salesman knocks on a door, as soon as the door opens he throws a mound of dirt on the floor of the house. The house owner begins to confront the salesman in a state of rage but before he can say anything the salesman pulls out a vacuum and sucks up the dirt with ease. The salesman says "I'm here t...

An old blind cowboy is making his way to the bar...

Using his cane he feels his way down the street: tap tap tap. He feels his way to the door: tap tap tap. He feels his way inside to the bar: tap tap tap. He feels his way to a stool: tap tap tap.

The gruff old cowboy makes himself comfortable, and upon settling in, asks to the other patrons a...

A businessman is spending Christmas in a hotel for a meeting.

As it happens, the city he’s visiting is host to the world’s largest chess tournament, and most of the competitors are staying in the same hotel.

The businessman doesn’t really interact with the chess players during his stay, since his meeting is on another floor. But one morning he comes do...

Two rival restaurants are on opposite sides of a road...

Two rival restaurants are on opposite sides of the road. There is a man who frequents one of the restaurants and always sits in the same spot and has a good friendship with the owner through his regular and long running patronage to the restaurant.

One day, the owner notices that the man hasn...

A man gets married and wants to have children

A man gets married and wants to have children. His wife works hard at her job performing autopsies, and they save up enough money to where the husband starts talking seriously about having a child. She is very stand-offish about it, but he continues to bring it up repeatedly. One day, after picki...

The farmer had three daughters..

They were sixteen, seventeen and eighteen. One day he was out front of the farmhouse when a car pulled up the driveway and a young man approached the house.
"who are you?" The old farmer asked him.
"hello Sir, I'm Eddie, here to pick up Betty, we're going out for Spaghetti"
"oh" the Farmer ...

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A guy jogging on the beach sees a girls with no arms or legs.

Her torso is just propped up on some sand. As he draws nearer he sees that she's crying. He doesn't want to intrude, but he figures she might need some help.

"Excuse me, miss. Why are you crying?" he asks.
She responds "I'm just so sad! I've never been kissed before and I don't guess I eve...

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A man's wife wanted him home right after work..

A man's wife wanted him home right after work because each night before he had been going out and getting drunk with his friends. Like the nights prior his friends invite him out drinking and despite him trying to get out of it he ends up going. While at the bar he drinks so much he ends up throwin...

[Long] A stutterer gets on a bus...

...and asks the driver: O-onne t-t-t-ticket p-please. To which the driver responds: h-here y-y-y-you g-go. A-a-are y-you mess-mess-messing with me? -asks the stutterer. N-no, I-I-I'm a st-st-s-stutt-stuutt-stutterer myself. -answers the driver. Oh, ok-ok-okay, says the stutterer and sits near the fr...

An old couple is celebrating their 40 year anniversary

While the wife is cleaning and getting the house ready she finds 3 beer bottles and $50,000 in loose bills under the bed. At dinner she was going to confront him.

At dinner she does just that.

Wife: honey I love you and I want no secrets between us. When cleaning today I found 3 beer...

A race steward noticed a horse trainer giving his horse something.

He confronts the man, "What are you giving that horse?" the steward demands. "Just some sugar cubes to give him a little energy" the trainer replies, popping one into his own mouth. "Here, try one", the trainer offers. The steward slips one of the sweet cubes past his lips. "Very well, carry on", sa...

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A guy walks in to a bar...

A guy walks in to a bar and has a couple drinks. After about a half an hour, the bartender notices that the guy must be shitfaced. The guy is resting his head on his hand and mumbling to himself.

The bartender confronts the guy. "Listen buddy," he says, "I have to cut you off."

"What?...

A Jewish man traveled to a small mountain island

He was greeted at the harbor by a friendly resident who took him on a tour of the town. As they were walking, they heard a squeal and saw a small furry creature falling down the mountain, tumbling past them before rolling to a stop. The Jewish man looked on in astonishment at this exotic creature. <...

A village of mathematical functions is slumbering

when suddenly the alarm bells ring:
a rogue differential operator has been sighted.
Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!
The differential op...

White priest goes and lives with an African tribe...

He spends his days teaching the way of the lord. After several years, a village woman gives birth to a white baby. The Chief is not happy with this. When he confronts the priest, the priest tries to explain these things happen in nature. With the chief not understanding, the priest tries to explain ...

A blond girl is on a plane to Dallas...

... she is sitting in first class when she has a ticket for coach. While she is reading a magazine, the flight attendant confronts her and says "Excuse me, mam, you have a coach ticket, and you are sitting in first class, could you please move to coach?"

She puts down her magazine, looks at h...

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In an old folks home, Gladys notices that Arthur's been looking down lately

She walks over and asks him what's wrong. Arthur tells her "Lately I've been feeling especially lonely at night. Before she passed away, my wife would sleep next to me and hold my willy to help me feel safe and loved".

Gladys thinks about it and decides that there's no harm in offering to sle...

A man is due to get married.

A couple of days before the wedding, his fiancee's sister calls him.
"Can you come round to my place please, I need help moving some furniture".

Ever the good brother-in-law to be, the man goes round.

Once inside, the fiancee's sister confronts him. She explains she's always found ...

An Italian man meets the girl of his dreams...

An Italian man meets the girl of his dreams. He falls madly in love with her and decides that he is gonna marry this girl...but first he needs to introduce her to his mother.

So he calls his mother, "Ma, I've met the one. I met the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want you to ...

Man catches too many fish

I went fishing and I was as on one side of the river the other man was on the opposite. First day he caught huge fish and plenty of them, yet I caught nothing. Second day comes and I take the side the other man was on in hopes of finding his catches yet he takes the opposite of me again. Yet he some...

A wife suspects that her husband is cheating on her with the babysitter.

A wife suspects that her husband is cheating on her with the babysitter. After he returns from dropping the babysitter off, she confronts him.

“So, did you drop the babysitter off?”

“Yup.”

“Did you do anything else?”

“Nope, dropped her off, and came home.”

“Well fo...

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So there's this guy named Jim, and he moves into a new neighborhood in California.

Looking for a fresh start, Jim gets a well-paying job and moves to the suburbs. Weeks turn to months and months turn to years, and slowly but surely Jim builds a new life with a new routine. Every Monday at 5:30 he goes from work to the grocery store, and gets home from the grocery store at 7.
<...

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Six was never the same after the war. The metallic clang of a dumpster closing and a garbage truck in the morning would bring him back to the enemy tanks running over innocent houses and villages whilst he and his surviving mates hid cowering in the bushes waiting for the metallic monstrosities to p...

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A man and his wife are driving through Texas

As the man drive on further he starts to get pissed off because of the heat and boring desert scenery. As he goes on he gets more and more pissed off and finally he says to his wife, "I hate this damn state I swear if I see a Texan I'm going to fight him". After driving a while longer he comes acros...

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ReHash

After 13 years of marriage the wife finds out that her husband has been using a dildo the whole time and confronts him and says "explain the dildo you bastard" and he replies "explain the kids Bitch!"

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Old Man and Old Woman in Nursing Home.

An old man and an old woman live in a nursing home. Their spouses have died and they're lonely. After meeting each other, they begin dating. Because they're so old, they can't engage in sex anymore, but they like to just lie in bed, while the old woman holds the old man's penis.

This goes ...

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Sticky keys NSFW

A man's wife confronts him one morning: "honey, I noticed you were on the laptop last night...now the keys are super sticky, you wouldn't know anything about that would you"
"It's not what you think" he replies " it's just I've cream"
She stares at him confused for a second before inquiring "h...

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My Grandfathers story

My Grandfather told me a story today from many years ago.

He said he and my grandmother were driving down a long and dusty back road, sun beating down on a hot summers day.

When all of a sudden, they see an elderly lady walking a long the back road. Puzzled, my Grandfather pulls over ...

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The Orange Penis

A man is at the doctor's office. He says, “Doc, you gotta help me, my penis is bright orange and I’m afraid of the worst.”

The doctor examines the penis and it is, indeed, bright orange but the doctor can’t make a diagnosis. He spends the next several hours running every relevant test that he...

In a little-known piece of rock history..

Courtney Love once asked Jon Bon Jovi to name her new band. Bon Jovi jokingly suggested 'Hole'.

Love though this was great - provocative and rude - so she went with it. Her ex, Corey Hart, of 'Sunglasses At Night' fame, did not approve. He sought to confront Bon Jovi on the night of Hole's fi...

A man wants to prove there is a God.

While there is a flood, a man wants to prove there is a god. When the water is down to his knees, a rescue boat arrives. He refuses to leave in it and says "God will save me." When the water is to his chest, another boat arrives, to which he says the same thing. When the water is at his chin, a heli...

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A boy is buying his first motorcycle

His mother is mortified that after saving up all through highschool he's going to risk his life and
buy a motorcycle in college. She asks him why he wants to ride and he replies "Because it's cool,
I'm an adult now, I want to feel free for once in my life"

His mum took that to heart. S...

Three men who have just died arrive at the Pearly Gates...

...And are greeted by Saint Peter, who tells them "Welcome to Heaven. Before I can let you in, you each must tell me how you died."

The first man approaches Saint Peter and begins to tell him his story.

"I had good reason to think that my wife was cheating with me while I was at work,...

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A rather inebriated man walks up to the bartender at his favorite bar...

He slaps 2 $100 bills down on the counter. "I bet you this two hundred dollars that I can piss from one end of your counter to the other, into a cup, and not spill a single drop."

&nbsp;

The bartender sizes the man up, realizing that the man can barely stand upright, and decides to...

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Slightly adapted for translation

A black guy walks into a gun shop and asks the fellow behind the counter:

-Do you have rifles?

-No.

-Do you have shotguns?

-No.

-Pistols?

-No.

Confused, the black guy exits the shop and realizes the shop has all those items on display. Angered, he r...

I'm beginning to believe that my road worker friend is a kleptomaniac..

So I went to his house to confront him and all the signs were there.

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Wendy

A white man named Jimmy was dating a beautiful girl named Wendy. They were a great couple, and one night after sex, Wendy asked Jimmy, "Honey, you love me, right?"
"Of course!" he replied.
"Well, would you get my name tattooed on your penis?"
"Anything for you, sweetheart!"

The next...

The Modest Florist

The was a man who sold flowers in the local village and earned a modest living doing so. He had done this his entire life so it was upsetting to him when one day he could no longer sell so much as a single rose. As he looked around the entire village he started to notice that everyone had flowers....

Farm Animal Band

So there is a farmer who owns many livestock, and also a singing horse. Little does he know, there are more musical talents on his farm. One day, the horse walks past one of the cows, singing, and the cow interrupts him and says; "hey horse, you know I can play the drums!" The horse looks at him que...

A panda bear walks into a fancy bar...

The Panda Bear is seated at the finest table in the place and is greeted by the bar's best waitress. The Panda Bear orders the most expensive bottle of wine and steak on the menu.

As he finished his last bite of steak, the waitress asks, "How was your meal?" Without saying a word the Panda B...

Nursing home

Arthur is in a nursing home after the death of his wife and he feels depressed.
Betty notices this and asks if there is anything she can do. He says 'well my wife used to sit with me in the evenings and just hold it for me. I miss that touch.'
Betty is a game and a kind woman so she takes to ...

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Now that you put it that way...

A christian missionary spends a year in a remote African village spreading the gospel. In that time the tribal chiefs daughter gets pregnant, and eventually has a baby that turns out to be white.

Outraged the chief confronts the missionary. Being the only white person his daughter had ever ...

A hippie walks into a restaurant...

and the waitress comes up to take his order.

"Whaddya want?" she asks.

"Gimme a cheeseburger" he replies.

"How you want it cooked?"

"Oh, you know, not too rare, not too done, you know, in the groove!"

She dutifully writes it down, and asks "What...

What does she have that I don't?

An elderly woman is living out her golden years in a retirement home. One day she spots a newcomer at BINGO. He's a dashing gentleman of about her age and though she's rather a prude she can't help but be flattered when he flirts a little with her. And though she's not sure that it's the godly thing...

Ok so there's this guy called Nate Palm

and every morning at work, there's this woman who always lingers around him, but in the afternoons she doesn't. She continues to do this for months and co workers find it bizarre that she's so attached to him in the mornings, yet so distanced from him in the afternoons. One day, one of the co worker...

Fishing not allowed.

Ok, so I remember one from my youth times, hope it´s not too overused. here it goes:

A man is fishing in a forbidden zone, with a clear sign showing, when a police truck pulls over to confront the man. Seeing the officer coming in his direction, he hides his fishing rod, and silently watches ...

King of the jungle...

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!

Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,
"Who is the mightiest of ...

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A man promises his wife to quit drinking...

...but that night he let's his buddy talk him into going to happy hour. He ends up getting so drunk he vomits all over himself. Suddenly overcome with guilt, he starts crying to his buddy. "What am I gonna do? I'm busted for sure."

But his friend has an idea. "Let me see your wallet.". T...

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So, a man walks into a bar

and he sees a guy, sitting in a corner, staring sadly at a rooster sitting on his table. He walks over to the guy and asks him, where the hell did he get a rooster in the middle of the night? He answers: "Well, you just walk out of the bar, to your left and rub the base of the third street lantern y...

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