Calculate Jokes

He doesn’t believe in a higher power.

It's 150 minus the number of rolls of toilet paper you have at home.

Because there is always a rounding error.

The biologist calculates the deer's movement and shoots 5 feet to the left of the deer because he forgot to calculate the speed of the wind..

The physicist calculates the speed of the wind and shoots 5 feet to the right of the deer because he didn't calculate the deer's movement.

The s... read more

Applicant: That's right.

Interviewer: What's 250 times 467?

Applicant: 546320

Interviewer: That's wrong.

Applicant: How about that speed though?

The European is visiting the United States for the first time: So how many cents in a dollar?

The American: 100, of course

The European: 100? Why not 62, or 37?

The American: 62? What are you talking about? It's 100. Of course, it is. It's a nice round number and easy to calcula... read more

They commit math genocide on a daily basis.

A Methematician

58008.

if their pie are squared.

A mathemortician.

Al-gore-ythms

But for the life of me, i cant figure out why she wants to calculate velocity

Pi * Z * Z * A

Murphy and O'Brien go out into the woods, they come a clearing and see an abandoned well. Murphy said 'I wonder how deep that well is?' O'Brien said, 'There's one way we could figure it out'. Murphy says, 'What's that?' O'Brien says, 'We drop something down it, we time how long it takes to hit the... read more

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

The mathematician takes the ball, measures its diameter, then calculates the volume. The physicist submerges the ball in water and measures the amount of water displaced. The engineer twists and turns the ball, looking for the model number.

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left. The e... read more

What do you use to calculate a cow?

Me: a cowculator

f(x)

"Calculate 753 time 165 divided by 21."

"18"

LOL, "thats incorrect"

"Might be, but it was fast."

Mathemhattrics

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.