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Mitigate Jokes

Iā€™m terrified of elevators.

So Iā€™m taking steps to mitigate my fears.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A man is on his way home of a very long drive.

Every day he has a very long and slalomy ride to do but today near the start of his drive all of a sudden his rear-left tyre got punctured and he has to stop.
On the side of the road he finds a dirty strange object that's pulsating. He checks it out and a genie comes out.

"I'M THE GENIE A...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A bear and a rabbit are arguing in the forest...

The genie is quite sick of hearing them so he decides to do something about it.

"Gentlemen!" He exclaims, popping up between them in a puff of sparkly blue smoke, "You are clearly not happy. So, to mitigate this, I shall grant each of you three wishes!"

"OH! OH! I shall go first!" The ...

The European conference

Centuries ago, a conference took place in Europe. The issue was finding a solution to flood control in The Netherlands. Now, the English delegate was a blatant racist against the Dutch, and couldn't care less about their lives. Each of the delegates from all around Europe were asked for their ideas,...

A Republican politician prays to God to stop climate change...

Nearly all of the world's scientists present the politician with data about the causes and potentially disastrous effects of climate change.

Ignoring them, the politician prays, "Dear Lord, please help us with this climate change problem!"

Captains of industry present the politician wi...

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