A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
T...
Dad: I haven't showered since last year
Me: You're too early, it's not 2020 yet!
Dad: Does that make a difference?
A man murdered his wife and was sentenced to death.
There was a crowd waiting around the gallows to watch. As the hangman put the noose around his neck, he was asked, “Do you have any last words?”
The murderer said, “Yeah, I have a joke that I came up with while I was waiting.
“So, I hadn’t showered for a week by the day I killed my wif...
I haven't showered since the last decade.
Edit: woops. I thought this was r/confessions
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!"...
I haven't showered since COVID-19 hit the US . . .
Not because I'm lazy, it really helps with the social distancing . . .
On his 74th birthday, an old man received a gift certificate from his wife...
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
Th...
"Wow, I haven't showered since last year!"
"Haha good one, but it's not the new year yet"
"I know..."
What do you call a retired military member who has been showered in salt and pepper?
A seasoned veteran.
I have not ate, drink, slept, used the bathroom, or showered since last year.
I have also not told this joke since last year.
A Texan buys a round of drinks for the entire bar, announcing that his wife has just gave birth to their first child "a typical Texas" baby boy weighing 24 pounds…
Congratulations showered him from all around, along with many exclamations of "Wow!"
Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answ...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
