UPJOKE
bathroomtubbubble bathshowertoiletbathtubbathewashupenglandsoapablutionwashshower stallhot tubpool

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My girlfriend always takes long baths after we finish watching a Ryan gosling movie

I don't know what she's doing in there, but it gives me lots of time to jerk off to Ryan Gosling

Why don't Dalmatians like to take baths?

Because they don't like to be spotless.

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A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath".
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blo...

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A nun is in the bath

Shes hears a knock on the door and a man says "can i come in".

"who are you?" she asks nervously.

"Im the blind man" he replies.

"Oh well in that case come in" she says relieved.

The man walks in.

"Nice tits" he says "Now where shall I hang these blinds?"

I got told to leave the public baths once for peeing in the water.

I was so shocked I nearly fell in the pool.

What kind of dogs loves baths?

A shampoodle.

This morning I was hanging out at the local swimming baths...

...and then somebody told me and I tucked it back in again

How do you refer to a sponge that doesn't want to have anything to do with showers or baths?

Aloofa.

I don't understand why people say giving cats baths is hard.

I was really enjoying it.

He was too.

Worst part was the fur in my mouth.

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

My wife complained that long baths feel draining

So I got her a plug.

I called the swimming baths today...

Me: *"Hi, is this the local pool?"*

Guy on the phone: *"Depends where you're calling from"*

TIL that dinosaurs used hot springs to take baths

But as time advanced they moved onto meteor showers.

It is now recommended that high risk groups take mud baths when infected with COVID-19.

It won't save you, but it will help you get used to the feeling of the dirt.

There are three kinds of people: Firstly the ones who shower, secondly the ones who takes baths

and thirdly the ones who sit next to me on the bus.

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A kid is playing with his Testicles, while his mom baths him...

"Mommy is this my brain?"
"Not yet sweetheart, not yet"

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