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A famous magician and a guy meet in a sauna

Guy: "Are you not \[famous magician\]"

Magician: "Yes I am"

Guy: "Can you show me a trick?"

Magician: "Okay, turn around, I will put my thumb in your butt"

Guy turns around.

Magician: "Do you feel it?"

Guy: "Yes"

Magician holds up his 2 thumbs: "I ha...

My girlfriend gave me a handjob in the sauna.

I got a heat stroke.

Two men are sitting in a sauna after a workout. “I’ll be honest, my wife really is an angel.”

“You’re lucky,” the second man answers, wiping the sweat from his brow. “My wife is still alive.”

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony.

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you call for me?"

The ma...

Whenever I go to a sauna, I must have the whole thing to my self...

I have selfish steam issues.

A man is discovered dead in a public sauna with his son.

After close examination, the coroner informs the detective that the man apparently died from bleeding profusely from his genitals after they were brutally mutilated. As the little boy was the only person in the room with the man at the time, the son is interviewed by the detective.

"Son, I kn...

What's the difference between 9gag and a Russian sauna?

One is full of male steam, the other is full of stale memes.

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Pedro is sitting in a sauna with two other men...

...when suddenly, a jingle goes off.

One of the guys make a telephone symbol with his hand, brings his hand up to his ear, then begins a conversation directly into it.

When he's finished, Pedro says, "whoa man, what was that?!"

"Ah, that's the newest technology," replied the m...

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(NSFW) There was a fire in a women's sauna..

So all the women start running out screaming. The men are standing around watching while their wives try to cover their private parts. Then out of nowhere one man yells out
"Honey, all pussies look the same, cover your face instead!"

If you find it hard to take pictures of yourself in the sauna...

You have selfie-steam issues.

What do you call a sauna full of coma patients?

A vegetable steamer.

What did the pig say to the other pig in the sauna?

Man I'm bacon here.

Why does Hannibal take paralysed patients to the sauna?

He's just steaming vegetables!

After a long day of travelling, a husband and wife decide to stay in the nearest hotel.

They go straight to bed and are almost immediately sound asleep. The next morning, they wake up and ask for their bill.

"That'll be $300 each," said the manager.

"WHAT?! Why so expensive?!" demanded the husband, outraged.

"Well, there was the car valet, the swimming pool, the sa...

A Dane and a Finn are having a sauna

So a Dane and a Finn are in the sauna, going back and forth between the sauna and the frozen lake, saying nothing. After a few times of this, the Finn pulls out two glasses and a bottle of vodka. The Dane raises his glass, says, "skål" and they both drink. The Finn refills both glasses and the Dan...

What do you call a discount sauna?

A steam sale

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My grandma told me this one

An American, Irishman and Japanese man are sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly, something started beeping rapidly. The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. He explained: that was my pager. I have a microchip installed in under my skin. A few minutes later, a telephone rang. The J...

A lady gives herself a treat for her 7pth birthday

A lady decided to give herself a treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in an expensive hotel.
When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $500.
She exploded, demanding to know why the charge was so high.
The clerk told her $500 was the standard rate. S...

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A woman sits in a unisex sauna

A woman sits in a unisex sauna when a man comes in and sits down.
The woman notice that the man has a huge erection and she is very bothered by this.
She takes some cold water and throw it at the man's dick that immediately goes soft.
Then the man looks down at his dick and say: Oh so you w...

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A man goes to the pharmacists and asks for 3 1/2 Viagra pills

A man goes to the pharmacist and asks for 3 1/2 Viagra pills.

The pharmacist is confused and asks “why 3 1/2?”

The man responds. "Well, Monday I am going to see my mistress and I need two. I need one for Wednesday with my wife. And on Friday, I am going to the sauna and it just needs ...

Only at the sauna.

(translated from Russian.)

after the marriage Lucy asks her new husband:

Lucy: Darling now that we are married, Will you start drinking again?

James: Don't worry my love, I promise I will only drink on special occasions and at the sauna.

Lucy: Oh my, im so relived to hear...

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A new young monk comes to the monastery.

A new young monk comes to the monastery. An elderly monk shows him around the monastery and says:

- There's a library here. You can use it whenever you like, except Thursday.

They go to the sauna.

- This is our sauna. You can use it whenever you like, except Thursday.

The...

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A German, a Texan, and a Japanese man are all relaxing in a sauna, completely naked

They sit in silence, until a loud beep is heard. The German steps out of the sauna and returns a few moments later.

"What was that?" the Texan asks.

"I have had a beeper installed in my arm. We Germans are a very advanced country, you know."
The Texan smiles and nods. A few minutes...

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A man goes into the pharmacy and wants two and a half viagra.

Pharmacist: why two and a half?
Man: well on Friday I see my wife and on Saturday I see my affair.
On Sunday I go to the Sauna, so he just needs to look good.

Do you know why is Santa Clause is jolly all the time?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls are.

Which is a good thing because he only comes once a year.


*Heard this from an old white guy in the sauna today lol.*

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Doc, could I have some Viagra?

An old man goes to the Doc:

“Doc, could I have two and a half Viagra pills?” The Doc hands the old man two and a half Viagra pills: “Sure!”

The next day, the old man again requires two and a half Viagra pills. And again, the Doc gives the man two and a half Viagra pills.

When t...

Self esteem is…

…what happens when Jose and Pedro build their own sauna.

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The Naked Spa

An old man decided to pay a Naked Spa a visit. After registering for a new membership and changing into his birthday suit, he decided to take a walk around the place all naked and stuff.

Along the way, he saw a young naked woman which gave him a boner. The woman noticed him, so she walked ove...

The seven dwarves

The seven dwarves were sitting in a sauna feeling happy so happy got up and left

Tim was a fan of tractors all his life...

When he was young he had a tractor bed spread, toys and posters. He would tell all his friends at school of the latest tractor models being made and loved them more than anything. The years went by and eventually Tim was old enough to drive a tractor and so for his birthday his parents took him down...

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You really oughtta diet...

A morbidly obese man decided it was time to lose some weight, so he joined a health spa...

He gets to the spa and starts out on the treadmill, jogs around the gym a couple times, swims a couple laps in the pool, sweats for a half hour or so in the sauna, and finishes off with a shower.
...

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