The guy who sold me these pigs said I should bathe them every day.

Hogwash.

What do you call a furry who doesn’t bathe?

A furry

A nanny bathes twins

A nanny bathes a set of twins. The twins were marked with numbers, the first born marked with a 1 and the second born marked with a 2. The nanny bathes both the twins and the parents come in and say
“ Where are the numbers?! We can’t tell them apart any more”
The nanny says “ I can tell them...

I used to bathe in tomato ketchup

In heinz-site, it wasn't the best idea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Queen's breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.


Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.


One day Sid revealed his secret desire to ...

What does a vampire bathe in?

A bath tub.

When I was a kid, we were so poor I had to bathe in the spring.

When money was good, I'd bathe in the fall too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think my dog is a snob.

I try to bathe her with shampoo, but I know she prefers the real shit.

I am one of the few Redditors that bathes on a semi-regular basis.

Which is another way of saying I'm not a mod.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Read this joke and thought it has potential. Apologies if it has been repeated.

There were four nuns driving in a van. It crashes and they all die. At the gates of heaven the angel says to them:

"If you want to enter there's one thing you must do. Have you ever touched a dick before?"

The first nun says,"Well you see, I was a nurse and once I had to bathe this old...

Today, I realized that my peasants really are revolting.

They do not bathe even before executing their king.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can eat, masturbate, and bathe in less than 10 minutes.

The waiter just usually starts freaking out by minute 6.

Doctor : "I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life."

Me : OH MY GOD!

Doctor : Just kidding. She's dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex After Death

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, Frank was the first to die and, true to his word, he made the first contact:

"Kris, Kris, can...

How do terrorists prefer to bathe?

...with bath bombs.

A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home.

The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Then she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses again rush back to put her upright. This goes on all day. The ne...

Dogs can smell extraordinarily well.

Especially after they have been bathed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Off in the English countryside, back behind the church, there lay a secluded stretch of river, set amidst the willows, which was reserved for clergymen who wished to bathe in the nude.

Prominent signs warned against trespassing, and barriers prevented boats and punts containing females from approaching this discreet section of the river.

One fateful Sunday afternoon, as the holy men laid on the bank, the river rose up. It washed away the signs and weakened the barriers, and...

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