Dressing Jokes - 28 Hilarious Dressing Jokes

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

The wife caught me cross-dressing

So I packed her things and left

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either."

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.

"Wait a minute," she says....

What do you call a cross dressing dinosaur?

A Try Sarah’s tops

Why did the cross dressing pilots career never take off?

Too much drag

I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns.

It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops.

People be LGBTQ+ and still be dressing bad

Like what were you doing in the Closet the whole time

I was thinking of dressing up as a Band-Aid for Halloween, but then decided against it.

It would be really hard to pull off.

Did you see the news about Jonathan Ross, dressing up in a blue uniform and trying to provide antenatal care?

They say he’s having a midwife crisis.

What do you call it when you accidentally open the men’s dressing room door?

Pico de gallo.

>!like peek-o de guy-o!<

Did you know that Tony Stark started cross dressing?

Sometimes he goes out dressed as FE male.

In the dressing room, they call Christiano Ronaldo "The Judge".

Because he is always on the bench!

Murphy's Law states that anything that can happen, will happen. But are you familiar with Cole's Law?

It's finely-shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.

Something ain't right with society when schoolgirls are dressing like hookers....

.....and hookers are dressing like schoolgirls !!

For Halloween I'm dressing up as a plate.

Girls love to do dishes.

I always knock on the fridge door before opening it

I do it just in case there's a salad dressing

An old farmer got up in the middle of the night to use the toilet.

As he was heading back to bed, he looked out the window and saw the lights on in his shed. A closer inspection revealed men loading his tools and farm machinery into their truck.

He rushes to the phone and calls 000 (911)

"I need the police! There are some guys clearing out my shed!"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dressing Up

A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he says.

"I'm trying to commit a suicide," she says.

"Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a blow job."

So, she does.

After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow!...

I’m dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween.

I won’t be leaving the house.

(Heard this on the podcast “Fake the Nation” and thought you all would like it.)

What kind of salad dressing does a sneaky burglar use?

Hidden Alley Ranch.

What do you call a group of old people dressing up and play fighting in the woods?

LAARPing

what kind of salad dressing do you want before a hot date?

ceaser dressing

I’ve decided I’m dressing in a costume for Christmas. I’m going to wear a fleece jacket, show off pictures of kids and carry a GPS navigation unit. I’m going as......

FLEECE NAVI-DAD

Preparations for parenthood - dressing and feeding.

New parents: feeding and dressing your toddler is not as easy a skill as it looks. It takes a lot of practice, so here are a couple tips to get you started.

To practice dressing a small child, first you need to get a string bag (like the kind you carry soccer balls). Then go to ...

I raised money for charity by dressing up as Cruella De Ville.

I had 101 donations.

All the nurses are dressing up as witches for Halloween!

They will be scaretakers.

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
She does, an...

What did the Italian dressing say to the French dressing?

Nothing. Dressings don't have arms

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