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Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either."

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.

"Wait a minute," she says....

Me: Are you into role playing? Her: Yeah I love dressing up!

Me: Okay, just lay there. You'll be the turkey and I'll do the stuffing.

All the nurses are dressing up as witches for Halloween!

They will be scaretakers.

This halloween I’m dressing up as Jason without the hockey mask

Because the only thing scarier than Jason is an anti masker

My wife caught me cross-dressing and said it's over.

So I packed her things and left.

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

Two women were dressing in the locker room after their aerobics class when one noticed that the other was pulling on a pair of men's briefs. "So when did you start wearing men's underwear?" the first asked.

"Ever since my husband found a strange
pair under the bed."

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A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the san...

I’ve decided I’m dressing in a costume for Christmas. I’m going to wear a fleece jacket, show off pictures of kids and carry a GPS navigation unit. I’m going as......

FLEECE NAVI-DAD

A woman walks into a bar

She sits at the counter and orders a salad with croutons and a creamy dressing.

The waiter delivers her salad, and she hands him a crisp $20 bill. As the waiter walks back to the cash register he holds it to the light and realizes it's a counterfeit! He snaps around to see the woman grabbing ...

What do you call a cross dressing vampire?

Dragula

Food for thought

Why did the tomato blush



He saw the salad dressing

Preparations for parenthood - dressing and feeding.

New parents: feeding and dressing your toddler is not as easy a skill as it looks. It takes a lot of practice, so here are a couple tips to get you started.

To practice dressing a small child, first you need to get a string bag (like the kind you carry soccer balls). Then go to ...

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Dressing Up

A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he says.

"I'm trying to commit a suicide," she says.

"Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a blow job."

So, she does.

After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow!...

You should always knock on the fridge door..

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

Always drive in your dressing gown and slippers.

If you cause a car crash, you can pose as a witness from a nearby house!

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A comedian is in the dressing room of a comedy club when he sees this guy sitting in the corner...

He wonders why the guy is there but thinks nothing of it. Before the first comedian goes on stage, he approaches the guy in the corner and whips out his dick. The guy in the corner jerks him off real quick, then pulls up his pants and goes on stage.

One by one, each of the other comedians in ...

Some people say the Canadian prime minister does not like dressing up like a black person.

But it's Trudeau.

Why was the salad wearing a cowboy outfit?

It was trying out the ranch dressing.

I got slapped in the face for dressing well. I told them what my dad said “always dress like you’re gonna meet the love of your life”.

My wife really got upset by it.

Two Priests decided to go to Goa on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests......

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach
dressed in their 'tourist' garb.

They were sitting on the beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the ...

Did you hear about the cross dressing dinosaur?

He decided to try Sarah's tops.

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