UPJOKE
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My wife caught me cross dressing.

So I packed up her clothes and left.

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

What do you call a cross dressing vampire?

Dragula

People be LGBTQ+ and still be dressing bad

Like what were you doing in the Closet the whole time

Something ain't right with society when schoolgirls are dressing like hookers....

.....and hookers are dressing like schoolgirls !!

An old farmer got up in the middle of the night to use the toilet.

As he was heading back to bed, he looked out the window and saw the lights on in his shed. A closer inspection revealed men loading his tools and farm machinery into their truck.

He rushes to the phone and calls 000 (911)

"I need the police! There are some guys clearing out my shed!"...

What do you call a group of old people dressing up and play fighting in the woods?

LAARPing

Did you know that Tony Stark started cross dressing?

Sometimes he goes out dressed as FE male.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either."

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.

"Wait a minute," she says....

I always knock on the fridge door before opening

Just in case there is a salad dressing

My wife has been dressing up in really weird nun outfits over the last few weeks

She has been getting into some really strange habits recently

What kind of salad dressing does a sneaky burglar use?

Hidden Alley Ranch.

Why did the one salad take a picture of the other salad?

Because the salad was dressing

A few minutes after she was hired, the boss and the secretary got up from the couch in the office and started dressing.

"I want to confess", the secretary says as she lifts her pants.

"I hope it does not mess up our relationship after what has just happened on the couch. But I don't really type as fast as I said in the interview."

"It's okay", the new boss replies, "I want to confess, too, and I hope it...

I don’t understand why people are so scared to go in dressing rooms…

But I guess it’s only fitting.

I’ve decided I’m dressing in a costume for Christmas. I’m going to wear a fleece jacket, show off pictures of kids and carry a GPS navigation unit. I’m going as......

FLEECE NAVI-DAD

The Lord of the Manor had a butler called Wibble, One day he called Wibble and said, “What about running my bath Wibble.”

“Certainly , will there be anything else my lord?” said Wibble.

“Yes Wibble, what about my dressing gown.”

“Certainly , will there be anything else my lord?”

“Yes Wibble, what about my carpet slippers.”

“Certainly , will there be anything else my lord?”

“No Wibble,...

it's not great, but not terrible either.

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morni...

What did the chicken do when he went to the farming convention?

He put on ranch dressing.

\[should be original by my son\]

Fred: he was dressing up as a ghost and scaring people away from the old fun park

**cop:** that's actually not illegal but tell me about the talking dog

I raised money for charity by dressing up as Cruella De Ville.

I had 101 donations.

What is the deal with strip club food?

It lacks dressing

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