My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

She caught me cross dressing and said it's over

So I packed her clothes and left

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either."

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.

"Wait a minute," she says....

My wife has been dressing up in really weird nun outfits over the last few weeks

She has been getting into some really strange habits recently

A few minutes after she was hired, the boss and the secretary got up from the couch in the office and started dressing.

"I want to confess", the secretary says as she lifts her pants.

"I hope it does not mess up our relationship after what has just happened on the couch. But I don't really type as fast as I said in the interview."

"It's okay", the new boss replies, "I want to confess, too, and I hope it...

I don’t understand why people are so scared to go in dressing rooms…

But I guess it’s only fitting.

what kind of salad dressing do you want before a hot date?

ceaser dressing

Every time you open your fridge you should knock first

There could be a salad dressing

I still can't understand why my wife was disappointed with my choice of salad dressing

I used the finest tuxedo!

Fred: he was dressing up as a ghost and scaring people away from the old fun park

**cop:** that's actually not illegal but tell me about the talking dog

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to see my doctor today with a lettuce stuck in my butt.

He just applied a dressing and sent me home.

Woman goes to see a doctor about her bed wetting problem

Doctors listens to her, nods sagely where appropriate and then tells her to strip. Woman is a bit confused but does as instructed. While she is undressing doctor places a big mirror on the floor and then tells woman to do a headstand over it. Even more confused woman does as instructed, figuring doc...

Two Irish priests decided to go on a vacation to Barcelona.

They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store
and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on itallian bread, make with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the sa...

Always make sure to knock on your fridge door before opening..

There is a chance there might be a salad dressing

Me: Are you into role playing? Her: Yeah I love dressing up!

Me: Okay, just lay there. You'll be the turkey and I'll do the stuffing.

I’ve decided I’m dressing in a costume for Christmas. I’m going to wear a fleece jacket, show off pictures of kids and carry a GPS navigation unit. I’m going as......

FLEECE NAVI-DAD

All the nurses are dressing up as witches for Halloween!

They will be scaretakers.

Yesterday I dressed up as a woman to further understand the struggles women deal with every day.

Apparently, women are often called a “cross-dressing weirdo”.

I'm dressing my child as The Preadator for Halloween this year

I'm telling people he's a child predator

My 4 year old nieces jokes:

Why did the lobster flush?
Because the sea weed.

Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

What did the little flower say to the big flower?
Hi ya bud.

Knock knock.
Whose there?
Ice cream .
Ice cream who?
Ice cream so you can hear...

Suicide stop

Back on June 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who...

Two women were dressing in the locker room after their aerobics class when one noticed that the other was pulling on a pair of men's briefs. "So when did you start wearing men's underwear?" the first asked.

"Ever since my husband found a strange
pair under the bed."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A comedian is in the dressing room of a comedy club when he sees this guy sitting in the corner...

He wonders why the guy is there but thinks nothing of it. Before the first comedian goes on stage, he approaches the guy in the corner and whips out his dick. The guy in the corner jerks him off real quick, then pulls up his pants and goes on stage.

One by one, each of the other comedians in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".

Kane looks at the...

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