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My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing?

Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.

Forgot my pot in my pants and put it through the dryer

Now I have some tumbleweed

There must be something wrong with my dryer..

I threw six socks in and got six socks back.

We all know what the buffalo said to his son on the first day of school, but what did he say to his son as he was murdering him with a restroom hand dryer?

Dyson.

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. ...

So, this occurred to me wile i was in need of a tie and mine was in the dryer, so i had to call my friend Mitch.

It's either get Mitch, or tie dryin'.

I accidentally left a dollar in my pants pocket, and it went through the washer and dryer.

I hope the police don't find out about my money laundering scheme...

I snuck up on my dryer...

Scared the sheet out of it.

Yesterday, my neighbor accused me of stealing clothes from her dryer.

She was so angry I nearly shat her pants!

What gets wetter as you become dryer?

A necrophiliac.

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I asked a guy at the gym how to use a piece of equipment.

"Just push the button," he replied, "Like you would with any other hand dryer."

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I lost my dishwasher, washingmashine, dryer, iron, stove, and vacumcleaner today.

Her funeral will be this saturday.

Now let me tell you a joke about a hair dryer...

... nah nevermind. It blows.

A blonde walks into a small store and picks an item to buy. [Long]

A blonde walks into a small store and picks an item to she wants to buy. She goes to the only cashier (who is also the manager of the place) and tells him:

"How much is this hair dryer?"

The cashier replies: "This is not for sale".

The blonde returns the item and leaves. Next da...

I typically wait until I have one outfit remaining before I do my laundry...

...and before I ever owned a washer/dryer set, I would go to the laundromat to wash my clothes.

I also typically don't throw out clothes even when they get scuffed or have major tears in the fabric.

Keep in mind: laundry day also meant No Clean Boxer Briefs Day...Oh! And did I mention ...

I have recently been involved in money laundering...

I had some coins in my pocket which I didn't realise untill there was a ticking sound coming from the dryer.

There was a lad named John

There was a lad named John who was dealt a bad hand since he was born. He was an orphan who was brought up in a for profit orphanage, leading him to suffer mental trauma amongst other issues. After turning 16, he was kicked out of the orphanage with no support whatsoever. Not knowing what to do, he ...

The wife threw her back out. I hate doing this, but I’d appreciate any prayers you could send our way

Because there are Clothes in the Dryer.

An electrical engineer is at his grandpa's funeral

His parents never told him how his grandpa had passed, so he walks around the funeral party asking for clues.
"He was at the gym" said one friend, but grandpa had a strong body and heart thought the grandson.
"It was in the bathroom," said a cousin quietly, but he would say no more.
"It was...

Sharing a washing machine in college

I was going to the college laundry room to wash my clothes and noticed someone left their clothes in the dryer that I had booked.

Naturally I just went to take it out, but just as I did, a girl walked in, and saw me with my arms full of her towels and underwear.

She gave me a very we...

I told my husband I’m going gradually cut back my dependence on technology in 2019.

I’m starting with the vacuum cleaner, washer/dryer and iron.

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DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA

August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've fi...

Yesterday, I got so depressed..

..I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records.
.
.
Or that's what I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer.

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[Long] How do I wash my pet?

A man walks into a pet store, "My son is moving into college and now me wife has to take care of his pets. She don't even know how to clean them!"

"Worry not sir. Washing your pets is one of the easiest things in the world. All you have to do is bring it to a tub, and wash it with some bubb...

Revenge

A man goes into a store and starts looking around. He sees a washer and dryer, but there is no price listed on them. He asks the salesperson, "How much is the washer and dryer?"

"Five dollars for both of them," the sales guy says.

"Yeah right, you've got to be kidding me!" the man says...

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A man goes for a walk in a cemetery after his friend's funeral

Feeling quite sad, a man goes for a walk in a cemetery after his friend's funeral. As he walked between the tombstones he came across an open grave. He walked right up to the edge to see that there was still a coffin inside. What an odd sight he thought to himself - suddenly he heard a thump, follow...

Went into a bar and ordered a Donald Trump...

They gave me a White Russian and a blast from a hair dryer.

My wife shouted at me...

You're so useless! You never tidy up or help with the housework, you're lazy and stupid and I bet you don't even know how to keep a house tidy!

I decided to prove her wrong so I did the washing up, ha! You should have seen her face when I showed her I knew how to load the dishes into the tumb...

Why is a laundromat a bad place to pick up women?

Because if she can't afford a washer and dryer, she will never be able to support your broke ass...

Yummy

So a husband and wife wake up one morning and the husband is the first to go to the bathroom. The wife patiently waits her turn until she hears her hair dryer is on. Confused and curious she opens the bathroom door to find her husband blow drying his junk. Naturally, she asks him what he is doing to...

Some Crazy Inventions That Never Got Patented

1. Underwater Hair dryer.
2. A parachute that opens on impact.
3. Non-stick glue.
4. A telescope that makes objects look further than they really are.
5. A microscope that makes objects look smaller than they really are.
6. A solar powered flash-light that only works during the day.<...

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I have sensitive skin...

I have sensitive skin, so I always use unscented laundry detergent and fabric softener. A few years ago, my sister gave me a set of dryer balls for my birthday. They are plastic balls with little spines that you put in the dryer and your clothes end up soft without any fabric softener. I love them, ...

What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room?

You washer and dryer.

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A man walks into a public bathroom...

...as he stands at the urinal he notices written on the wall in front of him "BEWARE GAYS" ignoring it he then goes to wash his hands when above the hand dryers he sees it written again "BEWARE GAYS" as he turns to leave he sees something written on the floor in small lettering and bends over to rea...

My parents didn't love me as a kid

My bath toys were a toaster and a hair dryer

What's the difference between Walk of Life and Washington state?

One's by Dire Straits, the other's by dryer states.

^badump ^tssss

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If God doesn't want us to masturbate...

then why does he always make one sock disappear in the dryer?

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