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One day - a woman decides to save up money and get a facelift for herself

On her way home she stopped at a shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," he replied.

"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald's for...

How do police dogs save up for retirement?

A 401-K9

A poor family starts saving up for spoons so they can invite their rich neighbor for supper... (Long)

Once they save up, they invite the rich man, and in the midst of their conversation, it is mentioned that they had to save up for a spoon. The rich man laughs and says,

"I have a spoon for every meal." The husband goes quiet at this, but the wife replies,

"We have a friend who uses a ...

Me and my friend made a bank account just to save up for drugs

I call it 'joint' account

A man saves up enough money to take his kids to Disneyland...

...when he goes to tell them about it, his son says "Thank you so much, daddy! When are we going?"

"Well, whenever we save up enough to come back."

Tax time at the Synagogue...

The Internal Revenue sends their auditor to audit a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question...

the cursed prince

there was once a prince who had been cursed by a witch. the curse was that he could only say one word each year

well one day, by the stream, he meets a beautiful princess. he decides that he loves her, and doesn't speak for 3 years so that he can save up the words to tell her " I love you"....

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

Apple pie and coffee

An immigrant family in the 1890s saved up some money and sent their oldest son to America to work. A year later, he saved up enough to get his brother to America and the two of them worked construction to save up and buy tickets for the rest of the family.


The older brother knew a lot mo...

Hang-glider

Here in Kentucky, you don't see too many people hang-gliding.

Ol' Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight.

He takes off running and reaches the edge--into the wind he goes!
<...

Nine Words

Once upon a time, long before any type of writing or sign language there lived an attractive young prince.

This prince, through no fault of his own, was cursed by a witch such that he was only allowed to say one word per year.

Fortunately, however, he WAS allowed to save up his words.<...

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