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Cache Jokes

There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Oh and weird concurrency bugs.

Oh and weird concurrency bugs.

Why do some presidents make such great fishermen?

They know exactly how to rig the poles,
tell tall tails, and lie about the size of their cache.

My banking app isn't working!

I called their customer support and they said we can try deleting your cache!

I was like hell no!

A dwarf from Prague runs into a bar…

“Help! Help! The Secret Police are after me. Can you cache a small Czech?”

I went to an I.T.-themed restaurant the other day...

I went to an I.T.-themed restaurant the other day. It had motherboards on the walls, the placemats looked like keyboards, the cutlery had USB sticks for handles, you get the idea. But the waitstaff seemed sad. Really, really sad. The host was sighing as we walked to my table – he was a web developer...

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

The dark side only removes cache.

What currency do processes use to bribe the processor?

They use cache

What did the data say to the CPU?

Cache me outside

Why don't scammers carry wallets?

Because they don't keep cache.

Why did the developer go broke?

Because he used up all his cache.

What did the hacker do when he saw the store computer unattended?

He went straight for the Cache Register

A Software Developer walks into a bar

A Software Developer walks into a bar

Bartender: "you having the usual?"

Software Developer thinks for a while
and then says "Yes"

Bartender: "What took you so long to answer?"

Software Developer: "Sorry, I got cache issues."

Why was the Windows PC broke?

It ran out of cache.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got called a homophone after leaving a bad review on a store's website.

Look, eye don't care who cells the product. If it brakes, I won't by it with my hard urned cache!

What did the internet say to it's history?

"Cache me outside, how 'bout .dat?"

Why didn't the client tip the server?

Because they didn't have enough cache!

(Computer Science nerds unite! This is my original joke, I originally posted it on Imgflip last year with bad pun dog and it got a decent response.)

What Did The Hard Drive Get When It Wanted Data But Didn't Have The Resources?

A Cache-Advance

Why did the Computer Engineer retire young?

He had a lot of cache.

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

Frosty the snowman got caught picking his nose

...and he didn't carrot all

Synthesis of these two jokes: [Joke 1](http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/30/80/82/308082e606bbe01cf521a44fc1d1facf.jpg) and [Joke 2](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-enq7MUsd8sQ/Usw-7DQ-oSI/AAAAAAAAW8A/Q_mMpU7km5Y/s1600/carrot+all.jpg)

You may have heard on the news about a southern Californian man...

Who was put under 72 hour psychiatric observation when it was found that he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammo stored in his home.

My favorite quote from the dimwit tv reporter:"Wow! He has a quarter million machine gun bullets." The headline referred to it as a "massive...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

SOFTWARE UPGRADE NOTICE

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.
No mention of this p...

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