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The rabbit was running away from two hunters

He stoped for a second to tell the old shepherd something, and continued running.
Soon the hunters caught up and asked the old shepherd: "Have you seen the rabbit passing through here?"

Shepherd without hesitation answerd : "Yes he passed through here."

Hunters wanting to make fun...

An Englishman, A Scotsman and an Irish man are running away from a murder

They run into a bar and say to the bartender “quick, we need somewhere to hide, there’s a man trying to kill us!”

The bartender says “there are some sacks in the cellar, hide in them, just pretend to be what was in them before you emptied them.”

So they run downstairs to hide in the sa...

Running Away from Home - Red Skelton

His little boy Richie is telling his sister Valentina, (in his Mead Widdle Kid voice):

“They don’t love me no more. I took my cookies, put them in a knapsack, tossed it over me shoulder, and started walkin’.”

“After a little while, a police officer asked me what I was doin’, so I told ...

A blonde, a brunette and a readhead were running away from the cops.

A blonde, a brunette and a readhead were running away from the cops.
They spot a barn and they all run inside where the see 3 large empty canvas bags. They each hide in one of them. Minutes later the police officers enter the barn.
They search all around and finally get to the three bags.
...

A blonde a brunette and a redhead are running away from some killers...

... when they find themselves at the end of a dead end ally. They see 3 burlap sacks and hop in. The killers come over wondering where the ladies are and see the sacks.

One of the killers goes up the the brunettes bag and kicks it. “Woof woof” says the brunette. The killer then says “oh ther...

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As I was approaching my driveway, I saw a big black man running away with a TV in his hands and I wondered if it was mine.

Upon entering my house, I was relieved to see that mine was at home polishing my shoes.

What do you call four hundred french rabbits turning around and running away from a fight?

A receding hare line.

Why did the horse come home after running away?

It was feeling unstable.

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a priest and a rabbi are running away from a burning orphanage

the priest says “what about the kids?!”. the rabbi says “fuck the kids!”. the priest stops dead in his tracks and says “ what, you think we’ll have time?”

I saw a magician running away from a shop a few days ago.

I asked him why, and he told me he had a few twix up his sleeve.

I was loudly advertising my Hawaiian finger-food stand in a public place and everybody started running away - wtf...

"Aloha Snackbar!" "Aloha Snackbar!"

What did the bird army say when running away?

Retweet

Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one?

Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted.

Did you hear about the fruit that was forbidden from running away with its lover?

Canteloupe

Want to become hot stuff and have people chasing after you and literally begging you to stop running away from them?

Be a bus driver

People in San Francisco started running away from the water as someone started shouting, SHARK! THERES A SHARK!!

Little do they know, its just Klay Thompson doing backstroke..

I’m going to tattoo a row of rabbits running away on the top of my head.

That way if I go bald everyone can see my receding hare line.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running away from a insane killer.

After some time running the brunette spots a barn.

They all run into the barn to find there's only three big brown burlap sacks to hide in.

The redhead says "follow my lead" and jumps into one of the sacks.
The other girls jump into theirs too.

Soon after, the k...

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The police in my town are looking for a crazy man. He was last seen running away after having sex with a laundry machine.

Nut screws washer and bolts.

A Mexican man has been running away from the cops for 3 days...

The authorities stated that he is a Juan-ted man

Two robbers were running away from the crime scene when a bus gets sandwiched between them.

The one in front got tired, and the one behind got exhausted.

What does a criminal need after running away from the police?

Arrest.

What's the opposite of running away and getting married?

Anteloping.

3 thugs are running away from the police

3 thugs are being chased be the police. They suddenly see a giant and beg him to hide them. The giant decides to help the thugs. He hides one in his pocket, another in his mouth, and keeps the last one hidden in his hand.

Policemen run up, and ask the giant if he saw someone suspicious. The ...

What do you call two ants running away?

Antelope!

What do you call a stampede of mexicans running away from a snake?

**Hiss**-panic

What did the police officer say to the white man running away with a TV?

"Sir, you dropped your receipt!"

If video games were really bad for you, then the entire Pac-man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems

Oh wait.

Running away doesn't help you with your problems

Unless you're fat. Then yeah, run.

What were the polite Egyptians running away from?

DaRUDE Sandstorm

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Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

One morning, the new owner of a saloon was setting up his establishment for the day

He heard a commotion from the street and walked out to see people jumping onto their horses, climbing into buggies, or just running away.

"Hey," the owner called to one of the men. "What's going on?"

"You better run, barkeep," the man replied. "Big Ed's a'comin', and can't nobody sto...

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With Apologies To Abbot And Costello

There were these two kids who ran away from their home in Why, Arizona. One was a tall, white kid. The other was a short, Asian kid. After running away from home, a police officer notices them. They were caught milking baby gila monsters for their venom. The cop didn't want to send them to juvi...

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?

She kept running away from the ball.

A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father.

He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, "I'm running away from home!"

The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. "What if you get hungry?" he asked.

"Then I'll come home and eat," bravely declared the child.

"And what ...

A father and his two sons were talking in the kitchen

The younger son turns this dad and asks. "Dad, whats a vajayjay."

"That's, just a another name for a woman's body part."

"Like their arms?"

"Yeah, like their arms."

When the young boy walks out of the room the older son looked at his dad and said " Dad thats too far, mom'...

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Cockerspaniel

An Iranian man moves to Canada. His English isn't the best but he gets by. He's feeling lonely so he goes to the pet store to buy a dog.

Guy: "I'd like to buy a cockandsmackit please"

Employee: "You mean a cockerspaniel?"

Guy:: "Ya that's what I said, a cockandsmackit"

He...

As a 39 old guy, I felt proud for coming up with this joke. (My 8-yr old ugggghhhhh'ed at it)

Q: Why did fifteen (15) started running away?

A: Coz he heard "thirteen fa(u)rtin.."

^(PS: You have to say it) *^(just)* ^(right)

A dog is running awa

A dog is running away from a farm.
The pig asks him why?
The dog replies, "this family doesn't want me man, I'm out"
The pig says what do you mean, the humans always pet you, they take you in walks, you have free reign over the farm. To which the dog replies, "not even pig, all I get for ...

A boy decides to learn a language of all animals

- Dad, there is a school where you can learn the language of animals. Please, give me money to go there and study.

*Fathers agrees and gives him money*

*After a year, son returns home and father decides to test his skills*

-Son, did you learn the language?
-Yes father. Do you...

A mime is working at a zoo...

One day, the head zookeeper pulls him aside to chat. He says, "Bobo, our silverback gorilla, the star attraction here at the zoo, has died. We don't want to lose the revenue, so we want to hire you to dress up in a gorilla suit and pretend to be Bobo. We'll pay you triple what you're making now."...

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