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Running Away Jokes

A mouse is running away from a cat.

Just before the cat catches it, the mouse sees a small hole in the floor and manages to slip in. So it sits there, trembling in terror, not knowing if the cat is away or not.

Suddenly it hears loud barking - *Woof! Woof!*

'Oh, great,' the mouse tells itself. 'A dog came, chased the cat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As I was approaching my driveway, I saw a big black man running away with a TV in his hands and I wondered if it was mine.

Upon entering my house, I was relieved to see that mine was at home polishing my shoes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The rabbit was running away from two hunters

He stoped for a second to tell the old shepherd something, and continued running.
Soon the hunters caught up and asked the old shepherd: "Have you seen the rabbit passing through here?"

Shepherd without hesitation answerd : "Yes he passed through here."

Hunters wanting to make fun...

Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one?

Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted.

An Englishman, A Scotsman and an Irish man are running away from a murder

They run into a bar and say to the bartender “quick, we need somewhere to hide, there’s a man trying to kill us!”

The bartender says “there are some sacks in the cellar, hide in them, just pretend to be what was in them before you emptied them.”

So they run downstairs to hide in the sa...

Why did the horse come home after running away?

It was feeling unstable.

What did the bird army say when running away?

Retweet

2 blind guys were about to fight

I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins!
Both started running away.

In WWII the Partizans were running away from Germans.

Germans were catching them, and tired Partizans decide to hide in the dry well which was deep enough so the Germans could not see them. Clever as they are, Germans thought of it and decided to check the well. One decides to shout in it and if theres echo they don't drop the grenade in it, if there ...

A blonde a brunette and a redhead are running away from some killers...

... when they find themselves at the end of a dead end ally. They see 3 burlap sacks and hop in. The killers come over wondering where the ladies are and see the sacks.

One of the killers goes up the the brunettes bag and kicks it. “Woof woof” says the brunette. The killer then says “oh ther...

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running away from a insane killer.

After some time running the brunette spots a barn.

They all run into the barn to find there's only three big brown burlap sacks to hide in.

The redhead says "follow my lead" and jumps into one of the sacks.
The other girls jump into theirs too.

Soon after, the k...

What do you call four hundred french rabbits turning around and running away from a fight?

A receding hare line.

3 thugs are running away from the police

3 thugs are being chased be the police. They suddenly see a giant and beg him to hide them. The giant decides to help the thugs. He hides one in his pocket, another in his mouth, and keeps the last one hidden in his hand.

Policemen run up, and ask the giant if he saw someone suspicious. The ...

Did you hear about the fruit that was forbidden from running away with its lover?

Canteloupe

What do you call two ants running away?

Antelope!

What does a criminal need after running away from the police?

Arrest.

What's the opposite of running away and getting married?

Anteloping.

I was loudly advertising my Hawaiian finger-food stand in a public place and everybody started running away - wtf...

"Aloha Snackbar!" "Aloha Snackbar!"

Running away doesn't help you with your problems

Unless you're fat. Then yeah, run.

What were the polite Egyptians running away from?

DaRUDE Sandstorm

A Mexican man has been running away from the cops for 3 days...

The authorities stated that he is a Juan-ted man

I’m going to tattoo a row of rabbits running away on the top of my head.

That way if I go bald everyone can see my receding hare line.

Two robbers were running away from the crime scene when a bus gets sandwiched between them.

The one in front got tired, and the one behind got exhausted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest goes to see his Bishop and asks if he would hear his confession

“Of course,” the Bishop said and took out his rosary. “And what do you have to confess?”

“Well Your Grace I used profane language,” the priest says, shifting a bit in obvious embarrassment.

“I understand,” the Bishop says. “And under what circumstance did you use the profanity?”...

Want to become hot stuff and have people chasing after you and literally begging you to stop running away from them?

Be a bus driver

What do you call a stampede of mexicans running away from a snake?

**Hiss**-panic

What did the police officer say to the white man running away with a TV?

"Sir, you dropped your receipt!"

A criminal was running away and a policeman was trying to draw his gun to shoot him.

However, he could not find a writing utensil.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The police in my town are looking for a crazy man. He was last seen running away after having sex with a laundry machine.

Nut screws washer and bolts.

If video games were really bad for you, then the entire Pac-man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems

Oh wait.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is at the zoo...

... and comes to a silver back gorilla exhibit and he notices a sign. The sign states " Please do not tap the gorilla". He looks around and says fuck it and taps the gorilla.

The gorilla breaks out the cage violently and starts chasing the man. He realizes the bad choice that he made. He star...

A Calculus joke

Verbatim from what my professor just showed in one of my engineering classes:

e^x and a constant are walking down the street together when the constant sees a differential operator coming their way. He starts to run away, and e^x asks "Why are you running away?" The constant answers, "That's...

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