No Pleasing Women

My girlfriend's cat died, so I got her one just like it. Now she's locked me out of the house and is yelling "What am I supposed to do with two dead cats?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Florida man was driving down a country road late one night

When out of nowhere a man came running down the top of a hill waving his arms and yelling to stop the car. The man quickly ran to the passenger side window, claiming there was a sex craved woman in the back of his car and he was unable to completely satisfy her sexual needs. The Florida man agrees t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The S’wan (long)

A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, run by a few gruff sisters.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their front door. T...

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There's no pleasing some women. Take the other day, I said to my wife, "Pick a card, any card you like!"

"Make sure you memorize it, now put it back with the rest of the pack."

"Fuck you Ralph! It's our anniversary!" she replied, stomping out of the card shop

New Supermarket

A new supermarket opened in Phoenix. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.


When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay. <...

There’s no pleasing my wife sometimes.

She wanted help with the housework so I got my girlfriend to come round and she went mental.

How would one describe an especially pleasing surface magma flow?

Lavaly

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