UPJOKE
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Click Jokes

[WARNING CONTENT NOT FUNNY] Do not click into this

A horse walked into a bar

Bartender: Hey

Horse: Yes please
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Does anyone know how to avoid click bait?

Apparently not.
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As soon as he clicked on the title...

...he realized that someone was narrating him while he was browsing reddit.
He chuckled and left an upvote, ready to read some more reposted jokes.
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Click here for spoilers

Microorganisms
Humidity
Light
Heat
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click here if you want to join the peepee club

urine
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Title that makes you click the post

A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and went to bed, he in the upper bunk and...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Click to find out what kind of motherfucker you are

•
•
You a curious motherfucker.

My account got hacked. If you get a DM about meat from me, don't click on it.

It's spam
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What goes click click click...did I get it?... SHIT! click click click...did I get it?... SHIT!...

Stevie Wonder with a Rubik's Cube

What goes click clop bang click clop bang?

An Amish drive by
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Look at all these click bait Jokes...

This one is the worst!
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Click for a dumb blonde joke...

A town decides to host the biggest convention in history: a blonde convention.

Blondes from all over the world came to this event to meet some fellow blondes.

The plan was to prove for once and for all that the stereotype of blondes being dumb was a lie. So a big stage was set up in th...
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I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup.

Luckliy it was only a virus.
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Yesterday I was sentenced to death for writing so many click bait headlines

What happens next will shock you
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON TWITTER THAT SAYS "LEBRON JAMES NUDES" DON'T CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.

[Click Here to invite Vampire Cat inside.]

Vampire Cat: Mwahaha! You fool!

*Walks inside*

*Walks back outside*

Vampire Cat: May I come in?
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Hey girl, are you click bait?

Because I see 10 reasons why you're perfect and you won't believe #5
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Click.... Click.... Click....

Bait
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Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from?

Me
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how do you make someone click on your post?

Like that
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Yeah man, I tell ya what, man, that dang ol’ internet, man, you just go in on there and point and click, talk about w-w-dot-w-com, mean you got the naked chicks on there, man, just go click, click, click, click, click, it’s real easy, man.

OK, Boomhauer
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Click here for a good old fashioned vampire joke.

Ha ha ha. You sucker.
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I fell victim to a click bait.

Just like you.
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Fishermen hate him—you'll never guess this one strange item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else

Click bait
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q: What goes: click click click "Now? FUCK!" click click click "Now? FUCK!" etc...

A: A blind guy working a Rubix cube.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I clicked on a link for a naked Trump leak.

Turned out it was just fake nudes.

How to avoid clickbait. Rule 1: Don't click on this.

Rule 2: You are all hopeless idiots.
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Click here for a potential once in a lifetime opportunity!

Thank you for entering the Russian roulette tournament.
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What goes Click Click, have I done it yet?

A blind man with a Rubiks cube.
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They say certain types of people can resist a good click bait.

Apparently you aren’t one of them.
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I accidentally clicked on a pop-up link that said, “Free Justin Bieber tickets inside!”

Thankfully it was just a virus.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you get an email saying "click this link to hear Nickelback's new album for free" DO NOT CLICK IT

It will take you directly to a site where you can hear Nickelback's new album for free.

A good advice to avoid click bait

Better luck next time.
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I have to stop my tongue clicking habit

Yesterday, this Xhosa man almost punched me in the face, screaming 'What the hell did you just call me!?'
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Avoiding click-bait is impossible.

My point exactly.
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20 AMAZING Reasons Click Bait Still Works!

1. People are stupid enough to click things that grab their attention.
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You’ve heard of “click it or ticket”, a slogan telling drivers to use a seatbelt or they will get fined...

Now get ready for the new slogan of 2020: “Mask it or Casket”!
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Click bait is everywhere these days.

Scroll down to see how many fell for it.
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Click here for a RickRoll!

>!Never!< >!Gonna!< >!Give !< >!You !< >! Up!< >!Never!< >!Gonna!< >!expect!< >!the!< >!Spanish!< >!Inquisition!<
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Why did the chicken click the PowerPoint presentation?

To get to the other slide.
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".
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Why did the redditor click the post?

I don’t know either.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Click here to find out what type of motherfucker you are.

You are an optimistic motherfucker for clicking this and hoping for a different punchline than "curious".

Right Click!

My dad, who is trying to learn how to use a computer, calls me to help him apply for a job online. It was one of those online applications where you can fill in the forms or just paste your resume in a box. I'm at work so, in the essence of saving time, I attempt to walk him through pasting his resu...
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I met a North African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.
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TIFU by clicking on a link that read "Click to see something unexpected!"

Spanish Inquisition.
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Once upon a time, a Reddit lurker clicked on a joke in /r/jokes.

They weren't expecting to read that ultimately, their life is meaningless and that nothing they do matters in the grand scheme of things.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Called my friend.

I called my friend just now and said, "I have a joke for you."

Friend: "Ok shoot"

Me: "What has a tiny penis and hangs down?"

Friend: "I dunno what?"

Me: A bat.. now what has an enormous penis and hangs up?

Friend: I dunno what?


*Click*

I found a Zelda fanfic where Ganondorf took over Hyrule, but for some reason I couldn't click on it

I guess the Link was dead
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Dirty jokes time.Don't click if you are easily offended.

I asked my uncle how I could tell if a girl was into me?
He told me, Oh that's easy, when you have your hand down her pants...if it feels like your feeding a horse...she likes you.
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I've compiled a list of the top 10 click bait articles on the internet

Number 7 will shock you
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Don't click this, I accidentally wrote something offensive

something offensive
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally clicked an ad for one of those fetish porn sites...

It was fucking shit!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is green, but when you click a button it becomes red?

A frog in a blender

What’s worse than reading a click bait title?

Clicking on it.
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I've found the perfect girl but it isn't clicking yet

Wish me luck I'm about to change the battery on my wireless mouse.
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What did they call click bait in the Middle Ages?

Nothing the internet wasn't invented until like the 1970s.
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For PC games, the harder you click the more damage you do.

I need to replace my mouse.
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A court ruled that sharing click-baits is punishable by death.

What happens next will shock you.
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WARNING IF YOU HAVE SEEN A LINK ON THE INTERNET OFFERING FREE DONUTS, DO NOT CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT FORCES CAPS LOCK TO BE PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED ON YOUR COMPUTER!

// THE POLICE
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Click here for 17 facts about suicide methods.....

#8 will blow your mind!
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Click here if you want to hear a joke about a ghost

That's the spirit!
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I chose not to put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay...

... because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about...
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Two lying, click-bait advertisers walk into a bar.

You'll never believe what happens next!
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An atheist dies, goes to hell, and finds himself in a lush park with butterflies.

His physical body has transformed back into its prime and he's then greeted by Satan who says "Why hello there! Welcome to hell. Let me show you around, you're gonna love it here."

Satan points to a nice house and says "what do you think of this house?" The atheist replies "It's beautiful, I ...

More people will click on a classical music youtube video if the thumbnail is Ludwig.

It's clickbeethoven
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What's the most-clicked link on the Alzheimer's support website?

Forgot Your Password?
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What’s the worst kind of cheese?

Click here for answer: >!Ou!<cheese
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(Click to see full post) there are three unwritten rules to a good life....

1)
2)
3)
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A man goes to Heaven and meets Jesus.

Upon arriving at the pearly gates, Jesus said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. I really think you'll like it here."

Walking through the gates, the man noticed that there were clocks everywhere. It appeared that Heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.

Surprised at how H...
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I have a super easy way to see how good you are at avoiding click bait.

Turns out you are terrible at it..
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I overheard some guy tell his sweet, old grandmother a joke about click-bait at her deathbed. What happened to her as a result will change your life forever!

Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened.

Stop clicking on click-bait!


(note/edit/whatever: I know this joke is a big gamble in terms of possible downvotes, but I just made it up and thought it was too good to not share with at least 1 person that might like it. Happy belated Hallowee...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I couldn't quite click my seat belt together the other day...

Then it buckled...wait...shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why will people click on any link with sperm or eggs in the headline?

Hey, sex cells.

A man walks into the head office of a click-bait news site...

...what happens next will shock you!!!
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Do you know what happens when you click a link without knowing what it is?

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
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I clicked "Submit a Joke" before thinking of what I'd say

Now I know how the Republican party feels.
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I took an Economics class last semester and it finally clicked why my Priest is so against abortion.

Supply and Demand
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TIL there was once a serial killer that created his own language involving clicks and taps.

He called it “Remorse Code”.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack was doing his online classes when he got bored and decided needed to say something, so he clicked the raise hand button.

Mr.Cooper (the teacher) said,

"Yes Jack?"

Jack replies with,

"Oh sorry sir I was just stretching."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a problem with my computer yesterday...

So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong ?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
...

Some girl has stolen my phone and clicked naked selfies.My cloud is full of them now. Somebody help me find her

I need to give her a charger too.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was walking by a car filled with black kids when I heard a "click" as they locked the doors and I felt like such a bad-ass...

...until I realized it was my car...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some say if you can guess the punchline of a joke by the title on Reddit before clicking on it - that it's a rubbish joke...

Tits

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