Click here for a good old fashioned vampire joke.

Ha ha ha. You sucker.

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WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't click on a website called Best Porn Ever.

Aparently it has a viras that dissabls yur spelchek.

Click for a dumb blonde joke...

A town decides to host the biggest convention in history: a blonde convention.

Blondes from all over the world came to this event to meet some fellow blondes.

The plan was to prove for once and for all that the stereotype of blondes being dumb was a lie. So a big stage was set up in th...

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What goes click click click...did I get it?... SHIT! click click click...did I get it?... SHIT!...

Stevie Wonder with a Rubik's Cube

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IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON TWITTER THAT SAYS "LEBRON JAMES NUDES" DON'T CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.

[WARNING CONTENT NOT FUNNY] Do not click into this

A horse walked into a bar

Bartender: Hey

Horse: Yes please

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I was on PornHub the other day and there was an ad that read: 'free asian asshole pics'.

When I clicked on it it was just a picture of Xi Jinping.

Title that makes you click the post

A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and went to bed, he in the upper bunk and...

Fun fact:

When people read "Fun fact" they must click the post

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Three men find a lamp...

Three middle aged men are walking along an abandoned beach when they find a golden lamp glistening in the sun. Deciding they have nothing to lose, they decide to rub it and see what happens. In astonishment, they see a genie appear before them.

"Thank you for freeing me from my lamp. To thank...

Jesus will bite you...

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, "Jesus knows you're here."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
...

Why are Dolphins so successful at dating?

They always click with one another!

I've compiled a list of the top 10 click bait articles on the internet

Number 7 will shock you

They say certain types of people can resist a good click bait.

Apparently you aren’t one of them.

Arguing with your wife…

is like reading a software licensing agreement.

In the end you just ignore everything and click “I agree”.

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Why is a Geiger counter like mature porn?

You get a lot of clicks when your junk's decaying.

You’ve heard of “click it or ticket”, a slogan telling drivers to use a seatbelt or they will get fined...

Now get ready for the new slogan of 2020: “Mask it or Casket”!

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A pair of aliens land in the desert near an old abandoned gas station.

Seeing nothing else around, they assume the gas pumps are the dominant life form and approach one to ask it questions. When the pump fails to respond, the aliens begin to grow frustrated, and one pulls out his weapon and threatens the pump.

"Respond now, or I shall blast you into atoms!"
<...

How do you catch a fish with a computer?

Use click bait.

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A man was interviewing for a position with the CIA (Part 2)

It's the second day of interviews for the position at the CIA. The three men are ready for their next step.

The interviewers take the first man into the interrogation room where the is someone tied to a chair with a hood over their face. They say "This is a practical task designed to test you...

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3 people die and end up in hell...

The first was an alcoholic, the second was a womanizer, the 3rd was a pothead.

Satan spoke: "Your punishment for squandering your lives on addiction is simple. What you valued the most in your life will be provided to you in infinite supply, however, you will remain with only your vice in a l...

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Some say if you can guess the punchline of a joke by the title on Reddit before clicking on it - that it's a rubbish joke...

Tits

How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb?

The answer will shock you...

Me: You know, since it doesn't have a tail, I'm pretty sure it is actually a hamster.

IT: Okay sir. Please right-click your hamster, and save the file.

Once upon a time, a Reddit lurker clicked on a joke in /r/jokes.

They weren't expecting to read that ultimately, their life is meaningless and that nothing they do matters in the grand scheme of things.

Click here for a RickRoll!

>!Never!< >!Gonna!< >!Give !< >!You !< >! Up!< >!Never!< >!Gonna!< >!expect!< >!the!< >!Spanish!< >!Inquisition!<

WARNING IF YOU HAVE SEEN A LINK ON THE INTERNET OFFERING FREE DONUTS, DO NOT CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT FORCES CAPS LOCK TO BE PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED ON YOUR COMPUTER!

// THE POLICE

how do you make someone click on your post?

Like that

I have to stop my tongue clicking habit

Yesterday, this Xhosa man almost punched me in the face, screaming 'What the hell did you just call me!?'

click here if you want to join the peepee club

urine

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Jack was doing his online classes when he got bored and decided needed to say something, so he clicked the raise hand button.

Mr.Cooper (the teacher) said,

"Yes Jack?"

Jack replies with,

"Oh sorry sir I was just stretching."

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I met and a girl we seemed to really hit it off.

I mean we really clicked. Same interests, same choice of music, same outlook on life. Everything was going great until I found out that she was into piss play. It just wasn't something I enjoyed. I was honest with her when we broke up. I said, it's not you it's pee.

As soon as he clicked on the title...

...he realized that someone was narrating him while he was browsing reddit.
He chuckled and left an upvote, ready to read some more reposted jokes.

Karen's 911 call

Karen was cleaning Kyle's rifle and shot him by accident. She calls 911.

"It's my husband," said Karen. "I've accidentally shot him... I've killed him," she sobbed.

"Please calm down, ma'am," the 911 operator tried to sooth her. "Can you please make sure he's actually dead?"
...

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Click to find out what kind of motherfucker you are



You a curious motherfucker.

Went out with this girl I met on Ok Cupid, I think we clicked, but I never asked her out again. I know this makes me shallow, I just couldn't handle how many kids she had.

To be fair, it was my own fault, she clearly stated in her profile that she was a goat farmer...

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I accidentally clicked an ad for one of those fetish porn sites...

It was fucking shit!

I fell victim to a click bait.

Just like you.

Yesterday I was sentenced to death for writing so many click bait headlines

What happens next will shock you

What goes Click Click, have I done it yet?

A blind man with a Rubiks cube.

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I participated in a joke writing competition on this sub three years ago.

The mods laid out 4 simple rules quite clearly:

1. For the following two days, all posts on this sub would be considered as entries for the competition.

2. The post with the most upvotes would be declared as the winner, i.e., the best joke. The number of upvotes until the end o...

Almost immediately after making my first joke here, I got a brand new follower!

I was very excited, so I went to their profile. I think they're a new account, they only have one post, and when I clicked on the link in the post, it took me to a site that immediately asked if I was over 18

I guess my joke was a little immature, sure, but there's gotta be nicer ways of sayi...

I couldn’t figure out why my laminate flooring wouldn’t go down...

And then it clicked.

I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup.

Luckliy it was only a virus.

So a politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

‟So, you’re a politician...”
‟Well, yes, is that a problem?”
‟Oh no, no problem. But we have recently adopted a new system for people in your line of wo...

I accidentally clicked on a pop-up link that said, “Free Justin Bieber tickets inside!”

Thankfully it was just a virus.

I never click on these, because the punchline is rarely worth the effort.

Told you

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I had a call from a scammer the other day

Me: “Hello.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.”

Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.”

Me: “Oh jeez. How can I fix it?”>...

Click here for spoilers

Microorganisms
Humidity
Light
Heat

I went on a date with someone who also spoke the Zulu language

We clicked right away.

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What is green, but when you click a button it becomes red?

A frog in a blender

A good advice to avoid click bait

Better luck next time.

Some girl has stolen my phone and clicked naked selfies.My cloud is full of them now. Somebody help me find her

I need to give her a charger too.

Dirty jokes time.Don't click if you are easily offended.

I asked my uncle how I could tell if a girl was into me?
He told me, Oh that's easy, when you have your hand down her pants...if it feels like your feeding a horse...she likes you.

Why did the chicken click the PowerPoint presentation?

To get to the other slide.

Today in History class we learned that evil slave traders used to lure and capture Kalahari bushmen by speaking their language to draw them out in the open.

A terrible, early form of click bait.

Hey girl, are you click bait?

Because I see 10 reasons why you're perfect and you won't believe #5

Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from?

Me

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I clicked on a link for a naked Trump leak.

Turned out it was just fake nudes.

Do you know how to spot clickbait?

Obviously not

How to avoid clickbait. Rule 1: Don't click on this.

Rule 2: You are all hopeless idiots.

I've found the perfect girl but it isn't clicking yet

Wish me luck I'm about to change the battery on my wireless mouse.

Samurai wielding sword: now we fight to the death

**Me, nervously clicking pen:** t-they better be right about this

For PC games, the harder you click the more damage you do.

I need to replace my mouse.

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If you get an email saying "click this link to hear Nickelback's new album for free" DO NOT CLICK IT

It will take you directly to a site where you can hear Nickelback's new album for free.

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I've been trying to buy a train ticket online for over an hour now and I'm getting pissed off....

It keeps asking me, 'Where do you want to go?'
So I click on the icon that says 'Home' and then it makes me start again.

Click bait is everywhere these days.

Scroll down to see how many fell for it.

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I was walking by a car filled with black kids when I heard a "click" as they locked the doors and I felt like such a bad-ass...

...until I realized it was my car...

I found a Zelda fanfic where Ganondorf took over Hyrule, but for some reason I couldn't click on it

I guess the Link was dead

Avoiding click-bait is impossible.

My point exactly.

20 AMAZING Reasons Click Bait Still Works!

1. People are stupid enough to click things that grab their attention.

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Click here to find out what type of motherfucker you are.

You are an optimistic motherfucker for clicking this and hoping for a different punchline than "curious".

Why did the redditor click the post?

I don’t know either.

Don't click this, I accidentally wrote something offensive

something offensive

I have a super easy way to see how good you are at avoiding click bait.

Turns out you are terrible at it..

(Click to see full post) there are three unwritten rules to a good life....

1)
2)
3)

I thought my mouse was dead.

But it's alive and clicking.

I overheard some guy tell his sweet, old grandmother a joke about click-bait at her deathbed. What happened to her as a result will change your life forever!

Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened.

Stop clicking on click-bait!


(note/edit/whatever: I know this joke is a big gamble in terms of possible downvotes, but I just made it up and thought it was too good to not share with at least 1 person that might like it. Happy belated Hallowee...

I clicked on an NFL greatest hits compilation

Unfortunately it was mostly just security camera footage of their girlfriends

Click here if you want to hear a joke about a ghost

That's the spirit!

I was struggling trying to learn to play the song “Take On Me.” Then all of a sudden it clicked and I got it

It was a real Ah-Ha moment

What's the difference between a Cat and a Fleshlight?

If you've clicked into this to find out, then you really shouldn't have a cat.

What’s worse than reading a click bait title?

Clicking on it.

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The cross-eyed mule

A farmer, extremely proud of his mule, often boasted that it could haul anything no matter the weight. As such, he constantly took the largest jobs and charged a hefty price for it.

One day in town he loaded up his largest job yet in his wagon. He hitched up the mule, gave it a switch, and th...

TIL there was once a serial killer that created his own language involving clicks and taps.

He called it “Remorse Code”.

What news sources do fish prefer?

Click bait (sorry for the dad joke)

Son : Dad, how do I catch fish?

Dad : Just throw this clickbait into the water

Son : And then what?

Dad : What happens next will shock you

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