Ben Shapiro dies in a plane crash. Wanna know why it crashes?

LEFT WING DESTROYED

Joker to Batman: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"

"Yeah sure."

Joker: "Ok, parental love".

Batman: "I don't get it.."

"exactly."

Hey! Wanna make $$$$ fast?

…Just follow my simple instructions:
1. Hold down the Shift Key
2. Press the number 4 four times.

It's that easy!

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something, our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde, Im a 6’ tall, 200lb black belt, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2”, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player, the fella on your right is 6’5” pushing 300 and...

Boy: *Kissing girl on couch* You wanna take this upstairs?

Girl: Hehe sure baby

Boy: Sweet! Grab the other end, I can't carry it by myself

I really wanna tell a joke about joker but

You wouldn't get it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One hillbilly says to the other, "You wanna play twenty questions?"

The other hillbilly asks, "What's that?"

He says, "I write something on a piece of paper and you get twenty questions to guess what it be."

So he takes out a piece of paper and writes "donkey dick" on it.

The other hillbilly takes a second to think and asks, "Can you eat it?"...

Do you wanna go to a restaurant?

You cant spell menu without me n u




I'm gonna lose all my karma.

Anyone wanna buy a broken barometer?

No pressure.

Wanna hear a dirty joke...

Johnny is playing in the mud

Wanna hear a clean joke,
Johnny is taking a bath with Bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirty joke,
Bubbles is the girl next door.

hey u guys wanna hear a dad joke?

Okay it’s me. I am my dad’s biggest joke.

Wanna know why China has 5 stars in their country flag?

It's how much they rated themselves for the human rights violations

Wanna know how I escaped from Iraq?

Iran

Wanna hear a construction joke

I’m still working on it.

Wanna know what would be a great game for people with dementia?

Memory.

Wanna hear a joke about Giraffe?

I promise it will be necks level.

Wanna hear an icebreaker?

Fat penguin

Do you wanna know what my epileptic cousin's favourite dance is?

The Worm

Wanna hear a roof joke?

Alright, the first one's on the house.

You wanna know why my bank has a drive-through window?

So that the real owners of the car can check up on it.

You wanna know why we say "Break a leg" to actors?

Because every show has a cast.

I wanna start a restaurant called "the cleft palate"

Why?

Because harelip is offensive.

Wanna hear a music joke?

Probably not, they always seem to fall flat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest hooks a huge fish

A priest hooks a huge fish

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!".

"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.

Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a Fucker fish".<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wanna hear a joke about my penis?












































































...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

Little Timmy fell in the mud.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
Little Timmy started playing in the mud.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
Little Timmy took a bath.

Wanna hear a cleaner joke?
Little Timmy took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear en even cleaner joke?
Little Timmy...

I dont wanna do what I did in Texas.....

Man rides up to a saloon on a beautifullly patterned Palomino stallion, ties the horse to the rail, walks inside, orders lunch and a beer. After his meal is done he gets up, pays the waitress and walks out the doors...to find his horse missing.

He sighs mournfully, removes the safety loops on...

Wanna hear dadjokeszcź?

My English teacher told me to polish my pronunciation.

" hey dad, I wanna date the girl next door what do you think?" Said the son, "no you can't!, don't tell this to your mom but, that girl is your sister" replied the father

Son: "What about the girl across the street".
Dad:"unfortunately son, that is also your sister".
Son: "how about the girl that works in the bakery down street".
Dad: " I'm really sorry son but, she's also your sister".

So the son gets frustrated and, goes to his mom to complain about...

Him : Do you wanna get out of here?

Her : Sure


Him : Good , cause I was saving that seat for my friend.

Brother : Will u please kiss me... Only one time I wanna try it out

Sister : Well if u Incest .

I don’t wanna drink water anymore.

2 hydrogen atoms are going at it, the one H atom says to the other, this is boring there’s no spark anymore, we should do something about this. The one hydrogen atom thinks about his friend oxygen atom, calls him up and tells him what’s up. So oxygen atom comes over and him and hydrogen atom start t...

A man walks into a bar, “wanna hear a trump joke?”

The bartender puts down the rag he was cleaning with and looks up. “Buddy, before you go and tell that joke I think you ought to know I voted for mr. Trump... see those big guys down at the end of the bar? They voted Trump as well. Now, are you sure you wanna tell your little joke?”

The man l...

A guy walks into a bar and orders a punch

The bartender says “Sir, if you wanna punch, you gotta get in line.”
The guy looks around but there is no punch line

Do you guys wanna hear a skeleton joke?

Never mind. I don’t have the guts to tell one.

Y'all wanna hear a joke about a Macguffin?

Wait, I gotta find it first

wanna know how i got fired from my job at the bank

an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

You wanna hear something that will make you smile?

Your face muscles

Wanna know why jogging is evil?

"The wicked flee though no one pursues, but the righteous stand as bold as a lion."

Proverbs 28:1

Wanna get high in the Andes?

Alpaca bowl

Wanna hear a Metallica joke?

“Knock knock”

“Who’s there?”

“Sandman”

“Enter”

Do you wanna hear a joke that'll kill every unvaxxed person?

Actually nahhh, it's a bit rusty and I wanna nail it first

What body shape do you wanna be when you die?

Ripped.

Everyone asks "what's up", but do you wanna know what's down?

The bodies of unvaccinated children

I swiped right on a girl without a picture, and we matched.

So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn't expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was this or join an incel chatroom.

I walked up to the door and lo and behold, 5'2", baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, all the right curves in all the...

Wanna play a game?

>!Peek-A-Boo!<

Boy: Hey wanna see a movie with me tonight?

Girl: I have a boyfriend.

Boy: and i have a math test tomorrow.

Girl: What does that have to do with anything?

Boy: I thought we were listing things we were going to cheat on.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you wanna hear a joke about constipation and dementia?

Tough shit, I forgot it.

Sometimes I wanna play games with my dad

But he beats me everytime

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old joke: Andrew Dice was getting a blowjob from his girlfriend. Just before he cums, she says "why do you want to do it in my mouth?" ... And Dice says:

"Honey, it's a nice restaurant...I dont wanna mess up your hair.."

wanna know how rich garbage men are?

filthy

You wanna know what really sucks?

Vaccuums

I wanna be a cowboy!

"I wanna be a cowboy!"
*Turns into a bull
(Inaudible screaming)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wanna hear a dick joke?

Or maybe something more formal? A Richard joke?

Anybody wanna be in a platonic relationship?

I'm asking for a friend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wanna come over to my place and watch a porno?

On my flat screen mirror.

Wanna Hear A Joke

My Ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is gettin' better!

















-.....her aim is gettin' better!

Wanna see some small capital letters?

s a n m a r i n o

I wanna make a joke about satan

Just for the hell of it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You wanna hear my favourite grammar joke?

Two girls were talking on the phone, making plans for their night. One girl says to the other, "where's the party at?" and the other girls says, "don't end your sentence with a preposition!" So the first girl says, "fine... Where's the party at, Bitch!?"

I wanna put the "D" in...

Djibouti

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just wanna wish a happy father's day...

To all you mother fuckers out there.

Batman: Hey, you wanna watch a movie?

Superman: Cape Fear?

Batman: Only when I’m riding an escalator. Want to watch a movie or not?

Me: You wanna know how I got these scars??

Batman: no, not really...

Me: *slamming my fist on the table* ACNE !

wanna know why a day is 24 hours long?

because scientists got tired watching the earth spin for 24 hours so they called it a day

Wanna hear a joke about suicide?

Ah, nevermind, I'll leave you hanging

The Ugly Girl

Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Akpos walked straight to the ugly girl.

**Akpos:** Hello!

**Ugly girl:** Hi!!

**Akpos:** Wanna dance?

**Ugly Girl:** Yes (excited)

**Akpos:** OK, Go and dance, I wanna talk to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanna marry a woman named Serious

So every time someone says "are you fucking serious?"

I can say "why yes. Yes I am."

Guy walks into a bar...

"An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent....

Just before we paid the check at a restaurant, a cute waitress saw some leftovers and asked my dad “you wanna box?”

“Nah, I would rather wrestle”

You wanna hear about the time I gave my girl a shot of sodium, bromine, and oxygen?

NaBrO

Wanna hear a period joke?

What do periods and Santa have in common?
Neither comes if you have been naughty.

You wanna know what's funny about amnesia?

Me too, I forgot the punchline.

Wanna know why Alabama is so weird and twisted?

Because it's in their incestors blood.

Bro, I just watched avengers endgame, wanna hear a spoiler?

"Okay, tell me I'm not scared."

"I saw your girlfriend with someone else in the theater."

You wanna know why a cat can jump so high?

because they have good PAW-sture

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

So I'm at the nuclear missile facility and my boyfriend texts me "Hey Anna, wanna come over? ;)"

The general asks me for target coordinates for a missile launch so I do a search.

Using satellite imaging, I find the perfect spot and fire straight away.

Me: "General, we've launched a nuclear strike at these coordinates."

He looks at me in extreme confusion.

General: "W...

wanna hear a story? once upon a time, a kid had a dolphin doll

fin.

What do you want to be done with you when you die? I wanna be scattered at Disney Land

Also I don’t want to be cremated

Wanna hear a killer joke?

A neighbor comes over and asks to borrow some lettuce.

Me: "Look in the fridge, I'm sure there must be a head in there somewhere."

I wanna banana from earth.

It's Christmas time, and a little boy is sitting on the mall Santa's lap.

"And what do you want for Christmas?" Santa asks with a smile.

"I wanna banana from Earth." He says, looking a little annoyed.

Santa, somewhat confused, asks the boy. "From earth?"

"Yes" The boy ret...

Wanna hear a dark joke

'No.'

'Rascist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two whales are swimming in the ocean when the come upon a whaling ship.

The one whales looks to the other and says "HEY, thats the ship that killed my brother!"

The other whale says "What do you wanna do?"

The first whales says, "Alright, here's the plan; were gonna go to the surface fill our lungs full of air and go right underneath the boat and blow as h...

Wanna hear a joke from someone with short term memory loss?

“Yeah”

“Yeah, what?”

“The joke”

“What joke”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wanna know how to immediately spot a virgin?

Go to an NSFW subreddit comment section.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boy: It seems to me you are really cute and funny

Girl: It seems to me you just wanna have sex with me

Boy:... And smart, as well.

Girl: *Blushes*

Boy: But not smart enough as to check your drink

Girl: *Passes out*

Boy: *Passes out*

Waiter: Neither do you...

It's a long one so please bare with me...

Homecoming is coming up soon, and a boy has been meaning to ask his crush to go with him, but has been pushing it back because of fear. He wants to go with her so finally, at the end of the day he builds up the courage to ask her. He approaches her standing in front of her locker and asks her the q...

J_ffr_y _pst_in

Anyone wanna play hang man?

I wanna die in my sleep, like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror, like the passengers in his car.

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