I’m the scientist who just discovered that goose-down pillows are NOT resistant to sulphuric acid.
Although, apparently that’s not what my wife meant when she said we need to “experiment in the bedroom”
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines
Banned from the grocery store
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...
A politician dies
So a politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.
"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people...
My dog has been humping pillows… I think he learned it from watching me.
I’m just glad he’s still afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
Why do some coffins have pillows? They aint gonna wake up with a sore neck
Thats like thinking about what college you want your unvaccinated kid to go to
I created a poll to see if people preferred pillows stuffed with bird feathers or pillows stuffed with synthetic material.
Synthetic material didn't win. Too many down votes.
I don't understand why women like to have so many pillows on the bed..
You need only one to smother your husband.
For those who dare steal Death's pillows..
Prepare yourself for the reaper cushions
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillows?
They've really been making headlines.
-courtesy of my 8 year old niece.
Memory foam pillows are the worst.
As soon as I lay down on them, I start remembering all the things I messed up during the day.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...' ...
Was about to throw out my old pillows, then I thought
na, I'll sleep on it.
I said that all pillows are uncomfortable and my friend slapped me.
He said that’s a very blanket statement to make.
I just invented corduroy pillows
My friends tell me I’m stupid but I think they will make headlines worldwide
I have the head of a watermelon, the arms of two French baguettes, the chest of two pillows. What am I?
Banned from the supermarket.
Did you hear about the Corduroy pillows in the news?
They’re making HEAD LINES! (my mom told me this one today after I got home from work)
The traveling salesmen
Two traveling salesmen were riding together across West Texas when their car began to sputter and cough. Soon, it died completely and they were stranded on the side of a state highway with little traffic.
Fortunately, a pick up truck pulled over to help. The driver was a comely middle aged wo...
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