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A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.


While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of t...

Why was a chair sitting by the casket?

For Rigor Mortis to sit in.

I suspect the motor in my massage chair is starting to go...

It’s been giving me some bad vibes.

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I thought I wouldn’t like masturbating while spinning in my desk chair.

But I’m coming around to it.

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A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair.

"Fellas! My p***y is so big that I'll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can't take."

A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y.

The boots are sucked right in.

He grabs a flashlight and, that too, is sucked in.

He...

I was drinking coffee in the morning while reading about this condemned killer who was executed last night. When I read the part about how all the lights in the execution chamber when out because the electric chair pulled so much power, I had a bitter taste in my mouth.

Must've been a dark roast.

Why do astronauts always sit one chair apart from eachother when drinking alcohol?

Because they're at a space bar.

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My grandfather is really upset at the new stair chair lift he got for his house.

He said, “It’s driving me up the fucking wall.”

My wife was upset at my impulse purchase of an expensive revolving chair, but then she sat on it.

Eventually she came around.

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A redhead walks into a tattoo show wearing a leather miniskirt and no panties and sits down in the tattoo chair and says, "I want a tattoo of Bon Jovi on the inside of one thigh and Richie Sambora on the other."

Tattoo artist asks, " What on earth for?"
Woman says, "So when I masturbate I can imagine I'm with either one, or both of them and have really intense orgasms!"
Makes sense to the tattoo artist so he dives in and gets to work. A few hours later the tattoo artist tells the woman that he's finis...

What do you call an Irishman who builds outdoor chairs?

Paddy O’Furniture.

To the man in the wheel chair who stole my camouflage jacket,

You can hide but you cant run.

Husband and Wife

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes ...

Why do they call the Fed Chair "Frosty?"

He makes things go BRRRRRRRRRRRRR

How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair?

Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.

A criminal is to be executed by electric chair and the priest asks whether he has a last request.

The man asks for the priest to hold his hand. Needless to say, the priest was shocked.

I bought a chair without legs.

It was easy. I just wheeled up to the counter and gave the guy the money.

I recline my chair,

Aaaahhh... That takes me back.

I told my friend a joke about chairs.

It didn't sit with them too well.

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A 7 year-old and a 4 years-old are in their bedroom. “You know what, I think it’s time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I’ll swear first, then you” says the 7 year old. “OK” says the 4 year-old. Mum asks the 7 year-old what he wants for breakfast. “I’ll have Frosties, bitch”

WHACK, he flew out the chair crying his eyes out. Mum looks at the 4 year-old and said sternly! “And what do you want?”

He says “Don’t know, but it won’t be fucking Frosties”

Two identical twin brothers, George and Ted, turned 100. George's hearing was just as good as ever, but Ted was slightly deaf.

An attractive female photographer came to the retirement home to take the brothers' picture. "I'm going to take your picture," she said.

"What did she say?" asked Ted. "She says she's going to take our picture," replied George. So George and Ted followed the photographer to a room.

Ins...

"The Chairman of the Red Cross Society of China had been kidnapped. The kidnapper demands for 10mil or he will burn the Chair alive with gasoline. How much are you willing to help?"

A guy in Wuhan replied: "Maybe 10 gallon."

So my girlfriend broke up with me. As payback I stole her wheel chair

Guess who came crawling back

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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school...

Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and t...

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(NSFW) A man walks into a pub and sits down at the bar...

The female bartender asks him if he would like a drink, in which he replys:

"I would love to suck on your breasts"

"Excuse me?" The bartender said.

"I want to spank your ass" the man said rudely.

"Im going to get my husband if you dont stop!" The bartender said.

"A...

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A priest hooks a huge fish

A priest hooks a huge fish

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!".

"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.

Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a Fucker fish".<...

A woman walked up to an elderly man rocking in a chair on his porch.

“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?”


“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whisky a week, eat fatty foods and never exercise.”


“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old a...

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3 death sentenced prisoners wait for the electric chair

3 prisoners are waiting for their eminent death on their execution day. One Black Man, one White Man, and One Moron. The warden walks up and gets everything set up.

He calls the Black Man forward, "John Jones, sentenced for Murder in the first degree. Any last words?"

"I to this day c...

I walked into the hairdressers and sat down in the chair.

On the wall there was a sign that said: £70 for a haircut.

I gulped.

The woman assessed my hair and said, "Hello, sir. How much would you like off?"

I said, "About £55."

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NSFW A man walks into a bar with a crocodile

Everyone jumps out of there chairs and spills there drinks in shock.The man proceeds to take a seat when the bartender walks up to him and says "Sir,you aren't allowed to bring a dangerous animal in here".

The man says to the bartender "Oh don't worry about him,he isn't dangerous,here let me ...

A blind man walks into a bar

Then a chair

Then a table

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If World War One were a bar fight.

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recomm...

Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman go for a interview to join the Royal marines. As a test, the interviewer says to the Englishman "Here's a gun, your wife is in the next room, I want you to go in and shoot her."

The Englishman is obviously disgusted at the thought, so he gets up, gets his wife and leaves.

Next up is the Scotsman. He's told the same and he reacts the same, gets up, gets his wife and leaves.

Finally its the irishmans turn. He's offered the gun, to shoot his wife to prove he's ...

To the person at the office who stole my chair yet again

Whoever you are, Im not going to stand for this!

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Little Timmy was sitting on the front porch with his grandpa when he saw the man take a sip of whisky.

Little Timmy looked up at him and said “Hey, PopPop?”

The grandpa looked down at him and asked “What’s on your mind, boy?”

“May I please have a sip of that whisky”? He pleaded.

Thoughtfully, the aged man stroked his beard and asked “Well, can your dick touch your butthole”?
...

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A nun plays golf and takes the Lord's name in vain

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. "What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the Day you spent with your family?"


"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with ...

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Job Opening

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two
men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal
door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follo...

I put a chair in my mouth

It tasted like sit.

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar

They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

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Two hillbillys are sitting on the porch in rocking chairs.

The 1st hillbilly says "I'M BORED'....

So the second hillbilly says.. "I'll tell you whut....I'm gonna think of something... but I'm not gonna tell you what I'm thinkin...and then you get to ask me Three questions... then after three questions....you gotta guess what I'm thinkin'...."
...

I was in the dentist's chair.

He looked at my shoes and said, "Very nice loafers there, very nice."

"Thanks," I said.

Then he looked at my leather bag. "Love the bag, too. Very stylish, very nice."

"Thanks," I said.

He looked out the window while I rinsed my mouth out, and said, "That car is divine. I...

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The worst joke I can remember [NSFW] Warning: This joke is long and terrible

A woman was driving through a remote section of desert at night, thoroughly lost. Suddenly, a coyote ran into the road ahead of her! Slamming on the brakes, the woman was astounded to see a man come running from out of the darkness toward the coyote. In one smooth motion, the strange man took his...

A middle school band director named Joe is having trouble instructing his students to play their instruments.

One girl is being extremely difficult and cannot play the flute to save her life. Finally he walks over to her and hits her in the head with her flute, killing her. She dies instantly and he is sentenced to death by electrocution. The warden asks what he would like his last meal to be. Joe says "I'd...

What chairs do drummers use to drum in?

A rocking chair.

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A very old man was sitting on his porch when he notices a small boy walking past. "Whatcha got there, sonny?" Asks the old man. "Cat wire." Replies the youngster. "Gona catch me some cats!" The old man starts laughing hysterically.

But sure enough, 3 hours later, the boy walks past the old man's place with a sack full of cats.

Two days later the old man sees the boy again.
"Whatcha carrying there, boy?" He asks.
"Duct tape. Gona catch me some ducks!" Replies the youngster.
Well the old man laughs even harde...

Retired Preacher man Sits on his sofa....

And he sees on the news channel there's a massive storm and flash floods coming.. news channel says to evacuate but he's stays put...
The Rain begins and so the flood waters rise.. his sofa starts to float .. so he climbs out onto the window ledge and a rescue boat comes along..

" *Jump ...

On a serious note, if anybody knows of any lonely people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can the let me know?

I need to borrow some chairs

A man dies and goes to hell.

Once there, he finds that there is a different hell for each country, so he tries to seek out the least painful one.

At the door to German Hell, he is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes ...

What do you call a race in wheel chairs?

Need For Speed Special Edition

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A fourth-generation prostitute goes home to her great-grandmother's house for a family dinner. She begins complaining to her family about work. "Geeze! Men these days complain about paying $50 for a blowjob! It's hard work! I earn that money!"

Mom, who was a hooker in the 1980s laughs, "Fifty bucks!? You're complaining about that? When I was on the streets, we were lucky to get $20!"

Grandma giggles, "You two are both spoiled brats! Back in the 1950s, we took $5 for a blowey and we were glad to get it!"

They all turn to grea...

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A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink

The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead.

The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some k...

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A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.

Time goes by, and the day comes whe...

Satan is doing his weekly Hell inspection when he finds a man on fire in a sun chair with a piña colada. He asks him “aren’t you hot?”

No, I’m from Phoenix. It’s rather chilly in here.

The Old Golfer"

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a
good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a
gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my l...

So there was this king in Hawaii living in a straw thatch style palace whose hobby was collecting thrones...

Anytime some local carpenter created a new ornate chair, he had to have it for his collection. The guy was wild about them, it was his one true passion in life.

Well one day, lightning strikes during a thunderstorm and his palace burns down including his entire collection. He was crushed, ne...

An Irishman, an Italian and a Polish man were sentenced to the chair!

The Irishman went first. They pulled the switch but nothing happened.

Surprised, they let him go.

The Italian guy went second. They pulled the switch but again nothing happened.

Now really surprised, they also let him go.

Finally, the Polish bloke enters and says,
"Fir...

A woman decides to surprise her husband at work, and walks into his office to find him talking on the phone and his very attractive secretary perched on his lap.

As soon as he sees his wife, the husband speak into the phone, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue running this office with only one chair."

Bob, a Neanderthal furniture craftsman, lugs his latest stone creation into Harry’s store.

Harry is the proud owner of Pleistocene Man Home, a thriving home goods and flint cave.

Bob, still breathing heavily from his labor, says to Harry, “Here new chair. Soft slate. No crack. Has club holder.

Harry is impressed. “Good chair! Better than chair you make for Doug”

“W...

Three Irish brothers were traveling in the country and walk into a bar to have a beer.

They take a seat at the bar and as the bartender gives them their pints, he says, "Listen fellas, you're not from round here, so I need to warn you about Ugly Tom. He is a very large unit and angers quickly. But he is a bit self conscious because he doesn't have any ears. He comes in here each ni...

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My grandma died peacefully, 93, in the chair. Nice way to go.

The dentist shit himself, though.

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Our smart devices are spying on us, and I have proof!

I used my smart camera to take a dick pic, and within an hour the algorithm started sending me targeted ads for army helmets and bean bag chairs.

How does a conservative wizard summon a chair?

"Bench-appearo!"

I tried starting two-legged chair business, but no one would invest.

I guess it just didn't sit well with anybody.

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An old lady is rolling up and down the halls of the nursin home in her wheelchair making sounds like a car. VROOM VROOM!

An old man jumps out of his room and says "Ma'am you were speeding. License and registration please." She digs around in her purse, pulls out a candy wrapper and gives it to him. He looks it over, hands it back and sends her on her way with a warning.

The old lady is rolling up and down the h...

When you have a 'I Hate My Job' day,try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer
section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson

Be very sure you get this brand..

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove t...

Young women marrying old rich guys is a lot like musical chairs.

The last one to sit on it wins.

What do you call a sugar daddy in a wheel chair?

Meals on wheels

John walks into a bar

Then a chair

A table

A lamp.

Go home John you’re drunk!

The CEO of a reclining chair company was fired today...

He was just too laid back.

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A young woman that is a quadrapalegic is sitting in her powered chair on the beach. (longish)

A man that looks like a biker is walking by.

She calls to him: "Sir, Sir, could I talk to you please?"

The man looks, shrugs and walks over: "Sure, what's up?"

Girl: "I've always been so alone. Could you hold my hand, just for a moment? Please?"

Biker: "Well, that's simpl...

Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the U.S. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, told the President: "This morning, 3 Brazilians were killed by Covid-19."

Trump's face went egg-shell white with shock. The blood drained from his face; and, to everyone’s amazement, he collapsed on the floor.

Minutes passed, and to everyone’s relief President Trump got up shakily and then sat back on his chair.

His staff was nothing less than stunned at thi...

Visiting the doctor.

A brunette walks in to see her doctor and explains that she has a very serious problem.

“You see doctor, my entire body hurts”

She then proceeds to touch all over her body saying ouch every time.

The doctor sits back on his chair, rubs his chin for a few moments and then says.. ...

A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home.

The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Then she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses again rush back to put her upright. This goes on all day. The ne...

I'm not a fan of chairs...

...they go against everything I stand for.

Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair?

Because they can't stand up for themselves.

Three murderers are on death row. The day rolls around for their execution. The first man sits in the electric chair and the priest says...

“Any last words?” The murderer exclaims “I’m innocent!” They pull the handle, but nothing happens. The electricity doesn’t run. The priest, astonished, says “that’s a 1 in a million chance, it must be a sign from god. you have be telling the truth.” And the first murderer is free to go.

The s...

A Woman Was Redecorating Her House

But when it came time to choose her window curtains, she was torn between two different shades of blue. One set was a darker shade - which matched the sofa, and the other was a lighter shade - which matched the chair. No matter how she tried to justify one over the other, she could not come to a dec...

Toddler car seats and Gaming chairs have a few things in common

They are both designed to provide comfort, both are expensive and most importantly the user always gets carried :)

Young Jesus: mom where do babies come from?

**Joseph: [pulls up a chair]** yea Mary, where DO babies come from?

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Hitler is chairing a Nazi economic meeting.

The Reich’s Commerce Minister is delivering a tremendously boring report on minerals, and Hitler is about to nod off. “We are mining too many ores that are useless to the war effort. We need to mine less,” the minister says.

The Reich’s Chief Engineer, who is a stickler for grammar, is irrita...

Made this one up a couple months ago walking my daughter home from school after a snow day...

My daughter and her friend were telling me that they were building a chair out of snow at recess and it inspired this gem of a dad joke.

If a chair made of snow is a snair,
And a table made of snow is a snable,
What is a house made of snow?
.
.
.
.
.
An igloo of course...

Mark donated 100 chairs to the community center.

It was a very charitable act.

A lion tamer had quit without notice and the circus manager needed someone to replace him for the next night's show.

He out an ad in the local paper and the next morning two applicants showed up outside his office. One was a rather ordinary looking young man and the other was a rather ravishing red headed beauty. Neither one of them looked very much like a lion trainer, but the manager was desperate.

"All r...

Two trucks crashed on the freeway, one carrying intestines for transplant, and the other carrying various types of chairs.

It was a catastrophic bowel movement. Bits of stool went everywhere.

The following conversation took place while a prisoner was awaiting execution by electric chair.

Priest: Do you have any last requests?
Prisoner: Yes I do, can I hold your hand?

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A husband walks in the door, sits in his favorite chair, and yells to his wife, “Quick bring me a beer before it starts!”

The wife brings him a beer and he cracks it, drinking it down quickly.

“Quick it’s going to start soon, bring me another beer!” He shouts. The wife dutifully obeys.

“Ok it’s definitely starting soon, bring me another beer really quick!”

The wife, now frustrated, responds, “Go...

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The Gates of Heaven

Three friends Thomas, Arthur, and Frank die and go to heaven. When they reach the Pearly Gates, St. Peter greets them and tells them that due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, God asked him to limit the number of people entering Heaven.

The three friends were sad realizing that all ...

The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.

"Howdy, stranger..."

"Howdy, Sheriff..."

The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, and stepped up on the walk and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon. "Hold on there, M...

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#1322: A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in ...

Long Joke

Ever since he was a little kid, Bob always had one goal in life: to become a train conductor. Finally when he grew up, he achieved his goal and became the conductor of the Happytown train. He was so excited to conduct the train that he decided to see how fast he can go. He went faster and faster unt...

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A man escapes from a prison after 10 long years. He breaks into a house looking for anything that might help him stay on the run.

Inside, he finds an attractive couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the woman to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and the makes passionate love to her for hours. She's moaning in pure bliss despite the terrible circumstances...

Kid Ink walks into a barbershop

The barber isn’t in tune with modern pop culture, only knowing bits and pieces, so he doesn’t recognize the rapper.

Kid Ink decides to take advantage of this and play a harmless prank.

Kid Ink sits down in the barber chair. The barber, wanting to get to know his client better, breaks...

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Fart Joke

A guy goes to Japan for business and his Japanese hosts take him out and show him a good time. The next day he wakes up and as usual needs to fart BUT when he farts his fart goes "Honda" That day he has some business meetings and he keeps needing to fart and every time he farts it goes "Honda" The g...

A trip to Paris

Rufus, a furniture dealer from St Catherine, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home.  To celebrate t...

An astronaut collapses into his chair after a long day of work inside the space shuttle. He decides to make a cup of coffee.

Unfortunately, the space shuttle seems to be out of milk and so he goes to his companion to ask if he'd seen any.

Astronaut 1: "Hey, I can't find any milk for my coffee."

Astronaut 2: "In space, no-one can. Here, use cream."

You are stuck in a locked room with nothing but a mirror and a chair. How do you escape?

You look at the chair, turn around, look in the mirror, see what you saw, take the saw, cut the chair in half, two halves make a whole and you climb through the hole.

Why do you always have an extra chair set out for a funeral?

For rigor mortise to set in.

I was wondering why my chair was so light

Turns out it’s 60% air

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The 1st day at school: the new student named Jose Armando, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the 5th grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Jose, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Jose :"Abraham Lincoln, 1863....

So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incid...

An elderly, forgetful couple . . .

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. So during a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. ...

2 sisters has just bought 2 horses

2 sisters has just bought 2 horses.

While going for their first ride, Sister A suddenly stops, and says:
- "We have a problem. How are we going to tell the horses apart, and know which one is yours, and which one is mine?"

Sister B agrees this is a problem, and begins to think abo...

Preparations for parenthood.

Not sure you are prepared to be a parent, here are some tips to get you started.

Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a bathrobe and stick a giant beanbag chair down the front and leave it for 9 months. After the 9 months, empty out approximately 10-20% of the beans.
<...

Court decision: "I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair......

....what happens next will shock you."

I like sitting down on my office chair when it's all the way down.

I don't know why, I just feel more down to earth.

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A scene in the bar

A man walks into the bar and bets the bartender 20$ that he could bite his eyes with his teeth. Seeing an easy opportunity to earn money, he accepted the deal. The man took out his glass eye and bit it.
The bartender reluctantly hands over the money. Though the man gives him another chance to wi...

A man wins the lottery...

[*I heard this joke for the first time as a 13 year old at a family party. So imagine my mild mannered German 70 year old great uncle calmly telling this joke to the whole table. I had never heard him tell a joke before. It's still one of my favourite jokes*]

A man wins the lottery after year...

A French spy, an English spy, and an Italian spy were sent to the USSR.

Unfortunately, they were caught within a few days and held in captivity for a week. Then they were tortured for information.

The French spy was first. They tied him, tortured him, and after 20 minutes he gave them all his information.

The English spy fared the same. After being tied an...

The departing division general manager met a last time with his young successor and gave him three envelopes.

"My predecessor did this for me,and I'll pass the tradition along to you," he said. "At the first sign of trouble, open the first envelope. Any further difficulties, open the second envelope. Then, if problems continue, open the third envelope. Good luck."

The new manager returned to his ...

I went to my old barber that I used to see years ago.

I sat in the chair and asked him if he could cut my hair a little shorter on the left side and a little longer on the right side.

“And would you be kind enough to make three or four holes in my hair on top? And little things sticking out all over?” I asked him. “And in the back I would lik...

If a round of musical chairs were played using toilet bowls instead of chairs...

would it be Game of Thrones?

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