Memory foam underwear

I bought some shoes with memory foam insoles. I was so excited about them! I told my wife I can’t wait to wear them, they have memory foam! I want memory foam underwear! She said “your underwear shouldn’t remember anything.”

Who created memory foam?

NASA. They did it for the G’s

So I bought a memory foam pillow second-hand

Got it for a good price, all was good until I laid down and it said "who the [email protected]#k are you?"

I used to punch my memory foam pillow whenever I got mad.

Eventually it learned my moves.

So, I ate a memory foam mattress again

I had forgotten how much better they taste than traditional mattresses.

I’ve finally gone and bought some memory foam inserts for my slippers.

No more forgetting why I walked in to the kitchen.

Memory foam pillows are the worst.

As soon as I lay down on them, I start remembering all the things I messed up during the day.

I just got a repressed memory foam mattress.

It holds me just like my uncle used to.

When you have a pillow fight with a memory foam pillow,

that's a pillow fight you'll never forget.

When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control.

Now it's memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.

Yo momma’s so fat...

She slept on a memory foam mattress and it never forgot.

Not saying my Ex was fat

But it took a year for my memory foam mattress to forget her.

So my girlfriend and I broke up last year...

I dont want to say she was fat, but it took 9 months for my memory foam matress to forget her

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Took a girl home after clubbing last night.

After a few drinks, we went up stairs and while we were taking our clothes off a voice came from the bed and said " i hope thats not that fat one from last week" the girl said "what the fuck was that" ? i said its that bastard memory foam matress.

I feel bad for modern mattress materials.

I'm sure there are things that even memory foam would like to forget.

Me: How long have we had that mattress?

Wife: No idea

Memory foam mattress: Two years, five months and two days

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A politician dies and winds up standing in front of the pearly gates.

St. Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..."

"Well, yes, is that a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a ...

Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments of my like come flooding back to me.

I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.

A man jumps on a bed

A man jumps on a bed expecting it to be soft and fluffy...

\*Wham!\*
Instead he experienced a very firm landing.
\*Owww!\*
I think this memory foam has amnesia!

Great pickup line...

You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress?

Her: Yes.

You: Wanna Traumatize it?

I can't sleep in my bed anymore, my mind races thinking of all the stupid stuff I've done in the past.

Stupid memory foam...

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