The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.<...
Sue reports for jury duty as ordered.
She promptly asks to be excused because she believes she's prejudiced. "I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."
"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I came home from work to find my wife had arranged a romantic night-in.
She stood there, dressed in a see-through polyester negligee, "You're in for a night of hot passionate sex," she said. Dousing herself in perfume, she lit a host of scented candles.
I stayed for half an hour at the burns unit, but then thought, "Fuck it" and went home for a wank.
Once, long ago, there was an Indian princess.
She was called Princess Happybottom, but she was very unhappy. She wanted more than anything to just be a normal girl. One day, a magician noticed her forlorn appearance, and asked how he could help. “I just want to be normal, with a normal name, and be treated like a normal person.” “I would...
A man attacks a woman wearing a fur coat..
..and shouts at her angrily - "Do you have any idea how many minks had to die for you to wear that fur??"
"It is not mink, it's polyester!"
"Doesn't matter!! Do you know how many polyesters had to die!?"
Did you guys hear that Old Navy has been using fake wool?
They can't pull the polyester over our eyes anymore!
Two tightropes are side by side.
One is made of polyester, the other nylon.
The tightrope walker makes it across the polyester rope with no trouble, but on her way back across the nylon line, the rope gives a little too much, and she falls to the net.
The polyester rope looks over in disappointment. "That was a disg...