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Patent Office Jokes

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A farmer walks into a patent office

He tells the clerk that he'd like to get a patent for a new fruit he's grown. Confused, the clerk asks "what's so special about a new fruit?"

The farmer replies "on one side it tastes like an apple and on the other it tastes like an orange."

The clerks immediately replies "bullshit!" S...

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A little old Italian man goes to the US patent office.

He sits patiently in the waiting room with a small brown bag in his lap. After about an hour, a young man greets him and invites him into the office.

The worker asks the gentleman why he was there. The Italian man says, “ima gonna show you sumtig. You gonna love it!”.

He opens the bag...

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A man walks into a patent office

and sits down with an office worker and says he wants to patent an apple. The worker says "Sir, you can't patent an apple". The man says "Take a bite". The office worker takes a bite and surprised yells out "Wow! this tastes like bananas!" The man says "Yeah I know, turn it over". The worker turns o...

I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions

I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, "A folding bottle."

She said, "Okay. What do you call it?"

"A Fottle."

"What else do you have?"...

A man takes a wallet to the patent office..

...and tells the patent officer he would like to apply for a patent for this special wallet he had designed. The patent agent tells him that he is about a hundred years too late to get a patent for a wallet. The man says,”I don’t think you understand. This is a special wallet made from foreskins. Wh...

A man goes along to the Patent Office...

A man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.

He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."

"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"

"A fottle, replies the inventor."

"A fottle? That's silly! Can't you thin...

Cardio B's attempt to register "Okurrr" as a trademark has been denied by the U.S. Patent Office.

Luckily, she has a backup plan: "Mediocrrre".

While working at the Patent Office, I discovered the Theory of Irrelativity.

But then I decided it didn't matter.

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A man walks in to the patent office with an apple and sets it on the counter and says...

...."I want to patent this apple", the patent officer says "That's just an apple you can't patent that", the man says "Oh, but this is a special apple. It taste like pussy.", patent officer looks confused and the man says "go ahead take a bite". The patent officer plucks up the apple and takes a b...

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Peaches

A man goes to the patent office and tells the clerk that he would like to patent a powder which you sprinkle on your wife's vagina which makes it taste like peaches.

"Get out of here.", the clerk says, "I can't patent anything like that." The man glumly leaves the office.

However, he i...

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The apple of your dreams.

One day Eddie walked into the patent office. He boldly stated to the patent officer, Bob, that he’d like to patent the apple. Bob, a studious man who looked like he spent a lifetime burying his face in books, dryly pointed out “You can’t patent the apple, Johnny Appleseed already did that.”
“We...

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Where’s The Cheese

Paddy goes to the patent office, having invented a new mouse trap. It consists of a ramp with a razor blade at the top, set at right angles. Below the drop is a piece of cheese.

Patent officer: “How does it work then?”

Paddy: “Quite straightforward. The mouse walks up the ramp. When he...

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Inventor

So there is an inventor who is walking into a patent office, when he gets there he puts an apple on the table.

"I want to patent this" he said

The other guy looked at him, confused.

"I'm pretty sure you can't patent a normal apple, is this a joke?"

"Taste it," he said
...

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[Long] [NSFW] One warm autumn day,

A man walks into the patent office and slams a stack of papers down triumphantly. "I've bred apples that taste like different fruits, and furthermore, each half of an apple tastes different!"

The patent clerk looks up in boredom, "Sure, sure... But I need to verify the truthfulness of this cl...

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