How to get a position in the Trump Administration

Trump: How much is 2 + 2?

You: How much do you want it to be?

Trump: That's the kind of winning attitude I demand, welcome to my team!

The Trump administration just announced ...

... no gatherings of 10 or more people.

Once again they found another way to separate Mexican families.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Seven Lessons of Life

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give y...

My friend works in the Trump administration and I asked him what it was like

"I can't complain."

So what do you think about the Trump administration so far?

It's been alt right

Took awhile for the Trump administration to finally register and patent the cure for COVID-19 under...

ISO-LATE

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mind Control

In a small town, people became increasingly unhappy with the mayor's administration. Sensing the people's disgruntlement, the mayor started to get worried about his post. He called for the council meeting to address this growing problem. The council agreed that it's mostly because people are not obe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill Clinton and the Pope die on the same day, and due to some administrative foul up, Clinton gets sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell.

The Pope explains the situation to the hell administration, they check their paperwork, and the error is acknowledged. They explain, however, that it will take about 24 hours to make the switch.

The next day, the Pope is called in and the hell administration bids him farewell and he heads for...

Students at a high school in Georgia were suspended for posting photographs of their crowded hallways.

The administration was worried about the wrong thing going viral.

Some people criticise America's current leadership, others say it can do no wrong, but there's one thing everyone can agree on.

Under the last administration, America really was an Obama-nation.

A joke I heard several years ago...

The former president gives the new president 3 boxes and asks him to open one each time he is in a major crisis.

When faced with his first crisis, he opens the first box and it says "blame it on the previous administration"

When faced with his second crisis, he opens the second box and...

Mom- "you should apply to work at the white house"

Me- "why? I'm not qualified."

Mom- "that's the point nobody in the current administration is."

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails?

Alternative fax.

A successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.

"Welcome to the family!" said the businessman. "To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50% partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operation."

The son-in-law interrupted. "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."

"I se...

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails?

Alternative fax.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctors were asked if we should reopen the country. Here's what the experts said:

Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconcepti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Park Ranger

A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare
species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla
became very horny, and difficult to handle. Upon examination,
the park veterinarian determined the problem: The gorilla was
in heat. To make matters worse, there...

The Trump administration is like the International Space Station

They're in constant free fall, and they needed Russia's help to get there

Trump Keeps claiming that climate change is a hoax and that his administration has done the most for global warming, and that the USA is getting colder

But that’s because he doesn’t understand what the media means when they say:

“Donald Trump is the most **Polarizing** President America has had since Nixon.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are 2 farmers, Jim and Bob, sitting in a Bar having a beer..

Jim turns to Bob, and says, "You know what, I'm going to go to college!" He then leaves the bar and makes his way over to the local college. He is met with the Dean of Administration, who is explaining to Jim what classes he is going to take.

"Alright, Jim. You are going to take 4 classes," t...

Why does the Trump administration like the new iPhone design?

Because Apple de-ported their phones.

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I’ll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She’s gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep.
"I ...

Trump Administration blocked CNN, BBC, New York Times, LA Times from media briefing

Looks like Little Donald needs a safe space...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bush Administration Makes So Much Sense Now...

George W. Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?”

“Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Bush frowns. “But how do...

The Trump administration is criticizing the media for releasing a video of the president hanging himself.

It was, of course, fake noose.

Request from a worried P*nis

I, the P\*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

reasons:



1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. In fact holidays and weekends are when I to...

How many Edward Snowden's does it take to know what is going on in a Clinton administration?

**The server you are attempting to connect to has been unintentionally disabled, wiped, and burned. But not in a gross negligent manner. **

Chris Christie finally got a job in Trump's administration.

He's going to be the border wall.

Mexicans are having a hard time facing the facts that the Trump administration is going to build a wall...

But they'll get over it.

During the Bush administration...

G. W. was sitting in his office when one of his advisors approached him and said, "Mr. President, three Brazilian citizens were killed today."

G. W. gives him a pained look and replies, "Oh my God! How many millions is that?"

What's the hardest animal for the Trump administration to catch?

A break.

Don't worry about losing health care under the Trump administration

We won't need it after the EPA starts restricting oxygen

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked into a locker room today, and saw a bunch of members of Donald Trump's new administration standing around completely nude…

… I've never seen so many Goldman sacks!

The Trump administration just put a ban on all shredded cheese.

I guess they wanted to Make America Grate Again

The new Trump Administration is re-doing the voice mail prompts at the White House...

Thank you for calling the White House.
For English, press 1.
<silence>

Trump has a change of heart and brings Hillary to his administration

As Ambassador to Libya

So, have you guys heard of a chicken cannon?

Used by US Federal Aviation Administration, it's a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.



The theory is that if the windshield doesn’t crac...

A surgeon cut off the wrong leg at my hospital today!!!

The orthopedic surgeon at the local hospital I work at accidentally cut off the wrong leg of an infected diabetic patient. After he realized he cut off the wrong leg he couldn't leave the the other infected leg attached. So he had all of the administration and attorneys meet him in the operating ro...

What does the Obama administration think about foreign relations?

Why so Syrias?

Trump and Obama meets during inauguration.

Trump asks: Barack, your approval ratings are pretty high. I love ratings bigly. Can you give me some tips?

Obama: The key is having a strong administration. I make sure that my administration not only works hard but is also composed of smart people.

Trump: What do you mean?

Oba...

Bob has a small company. One day, one of his employees, Kevin, dies

Bob and his wife go to the funeral. On the way back home, she asks him:

"Dear, you know my brother is a little lazy, but he's been looking for a good opportunity. Do you think he could replace Kevin?" Bob answers:

"It's ok for me, but we would have to talk with the graveyard administ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hell is now open to tourists.

They first visit the Hall of the greatest criminals. The criminals are standing in blood.

Hitler is waist-deep in blood, his gaze angry, his mouth shouting something that tourists do not hear.

Stalin stands to Hitler’s left, silent, with a sardonic smile on his lips, blood reaching to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Laura Bush wear shoes as first lady but Melania wears boots?

During the Bush administration the bullshit only came up to your ankles.

Super Computer

There a new super computer that can compute over 2 billion calculations per second. That means that an event can be fired almost as quickly as a member of the Trump administration.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the beginning of time two schools were created.

One was Matter High, the other Antimatter High. Each was tasked with creating the fundamental laws that would define the growth and existence of the universe.

Students at Matter High developed Gravitation, Strong Attraction, Weak Attraction, and Electromagnetism.

Students at Antimatt...

A Tv-crew is sent to interview a farmer before the election.

"Could you please share with our viewers, how has the past year been for you?"

"Well, you know I can't complain. I had a very good harvest of wheat, so my family definitely won't go hungry. My vegetable patches brought in amazing organic crops, I was able to sell those at a good profit. And ...

So there’s this old, old zookeeper who is nearing retirement.

In fact, she’s so old that she has been employed at the zoo since it first opened. Since she’s been there so long, the zoo has entrusted her with taking care of the two most valuable exhibits in the zoo.

First, she is responsible for feeding an ancient lion. This lion is actually so old that...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.