What do you call a company that replants fields of grass using cropduster airplanes?

A re-seeding airline!



This joke sucks but it's my cakeday and I was told there would be plentiful imaginary internet points .... XD

Apple really is the most futuristic company out there

They have already adjusted their prices for the next 50 years of inflation!

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A young man is walking home from his job at a local software company

He worked late that night, and the sun had already fallen below the sky. The man enjoyed the two mile walk to work in the morning, but the cold of the night made the way back numb, rigid, and surreal. The man followed long, curving roads through the dark pine forests, illuminated by cold sunlight re...

What do you call a Swedish cell phone made by a car company?

iKia

I signed up for my company's 401k,

but I don't think I can run that far.



Credit: Norm "Old Chunk of Coal" MacDonald

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I was on the bus the other day when this young attractive woman started to breastfeed her child. An elderly woman got up and protested saying it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen and would complain to the bus company...

In hindsight, I really shouldn't have been wanking at the time...

A teenage potato brings her boyfriend home to meet the parents. "So, what do you do for work?" asks the inquisitive father potato. “Oh, I work for a TV company as a sportscaster." The father potato is furious and tells the boyfriend to leave immediately.

“Why did you do that daddy?!” shrieks the distraught daughter, eyes wide.

The father shouts, “I’m not having *my* daughter hanging around with a commentator!"

I had my first interview for a cheese company

I think it went grate

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Special High Intensity Training: It is now and always has been the policy of this company to assure all employees are well trained.

Through our Special High Intensity Training program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any other company in the area. If any employee feels that he or she could advance to another position by taking more SHIT, please see your supervisor. Our management specialists are trained to as...

Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?

That's a loaded Question

One company owner asks another: “Hey Bill how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”

Bill replies: “Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces”

I fired my wife from my own company for drinking on work AND wasting office resources.

You know how hard it is to find sperm donors these days?!

Today I signed up for my company's 401K

I'm super nervous though. I've never run that far before in my life.

What do you call a genetic engineering company in Italy?

Genitalia.

Why is EA the worst gaming company in America?

Because Ubisoft is in France.

^(9,90$ to unlock an extra line.)

Calling your bug spray company "Off" is really smart because when your thrifty wife tells you to buy the "off brand" you'll still be buying the expensive name brand item.

had this thought last night and I need help turning this into a joke

The CEO of a reclining chair company was fired today...

He was just too laid back.

Got fired today because I fell for a scam asking me to wire a sizable amount of company money to a foreign bank account.

If that hadn't been stupid enough, I also confused the foreign bank account with my own.

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following let...

If Marvel was an Indian company, Spider-Man would've been considered sacred.

He's a cash cow.

You're fired!

A company hired a new CEO. This boss wanted to get rid all of the slackers.

One day, he saw a young man against the wall. He wanted to prove himself that he meant business.
The CEO walked up to the man and asked, "How much do you make a week?"

The man replied"$200 a week. Why?"
<...

If a company's most valuable resource is it's people....

.... how come the employees aren't locked up,
but the toilet paper is secured in a reinforced steel lock box, bolted to the stall?

My Polish grandmother used to perform for a ballet company...

It was always awkward listening to her Pole Dancing stories.

Some day I want to own a logging company,

My work is cut out for me.

Did you hear what happened to the mining company?

They went under

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what do you call a pansexual person named nick who works at a disc company?

Pan nick at the disc co

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A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company.

There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely.
The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks.
But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarl...

A casket company has started marketing clear glass coffins.

Don't know if they will be well received...remains to be seen.

What do ya call a company run by bees?

A buzziness

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Was reminded of my dad’s favorite joke when I saw a similar joke posted earlier today. He owns his own construction company and would tell this to everyone.

All the body parts get together to decide who is the boss of the body.

First is the brain. “It’s obvious I’m the boss. I’m the smartest and without me the body wouldn’t even know what to do.”

The hands speak up and say, “Without us the body wouldn’t be able to get food to the mouth. Th...

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The only company to truly care about LGBTQ+ people after pride is PornHub...

...they have a whole section for them all year long

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A condom company hosts a fitting at a local grocery store...

and a hot blonde is there to measure penises and tell the guy what size he needs. One guy walks up and she says “Drop your pants.” She measures him and says “You need size extra large.” Another guy walks up, pulls down his pants and says, “You need size extra small.”

In the next aisle over, a...

I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof.

There was this company names "sofa king". But we didn't buy anything from them because...

the prices were sofa king high.

What technology company was named after its founders genitalia?

Microsoft

I've created a company whereby people hire us to insult the people they don't like.

We're doing a diss service.

4 beer company CEOs walk into a bar

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light.

The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light.

The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.

The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.

The first three ask the CEO of Guinness why he didn't order a Guinness, to which he replied:

"I figured if yo...

What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company?

3Musketeers

What do you call an excitable small black insect that used to work for a multi national transportation company?

An exuberant ex-uber ant.

I work at a very special soft drink company.

This company makes its drink by compressing the carbonated soda in its can to fit more in the can. But working here is kinda dull, and make you hate life a bit. And only recently have I felt somewhat suicidal. I decided the best way for me to go was in the compressor. Now while you would say this is...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A married man is out looking for some “company”

While driving late at night he spots a prostitute down a dark alley. Not caring what she looks like he tells her to get in and he drives down the dark alley to get his freak on. After things get hot and heavy a cop pulls up and turns on his brights.

He walks up to the car, knocks on the wind...

An employee gets called into his boss’s office...

Boss: “Young man, you have risen very fast in this company. Two years ago, you began as an office boy. In a couple of months, you were a clerk. Then, you became a salesman, after that assistant manager, then manager. Now you are the vice president of the company. What have you to say about all this?...

The company I work in is pretty transparent

In 3 month, there's about 4 cases of people running into the glass door.

Did you know that John Deere has a sister company that no one knows?

Jane Doe

My cousin said he "dips his pen into the company ink"

That carries some serious implications on the family farm.

Which company NEVER loses at blackjack?

Forever 21.

The company sent my department on a work trip

The last night before heading back home, we decided to play a prank to one of our colleges - we put a pack of condoms in his suitcase. When he got home, his wife started unpacking his stuff, and found our "gift". Without skipping a beat, he explained: "We were all given pack of condoms when we arriv...

Why does no major gaming company make an Indiana Jones game?

Because no one would pay 60$ for an Indie game.

Electronic Arts, the games company, have had their lawyers in court stating that:

”There not loot boxes in our games, there surprise mechanics”.

Yeah right, that's like saying:

”It's not paedophilia its early access”.

A Catholic priest is reading a map made by the Laffy Taffy Company

As the priest follows the map through the streets of Rio De Janeiro, he gets deeper and deeper into the slums of the city. He stays true to the map, regardless of the neighborhood. An hour later, he is still following the map, regardless of the neighborhood getting even worse. There are gang members...

What would you call Steve Harris if he worked for an electrical company without pay?

A Powerslave

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I like pooping in the upstairs bathroom of the company I work for..

Because for once I’m the one causing the shit to roll downhill

A Blonde, a Brunnete, and a Redhead work at a construction company.

They have all worked with each other for years, and would always eat together for their lunch break.

They would always have the same sandwiches packed for their lunch. They were sick and tired of eating the same thing every day.

The Brunette said, "If I have another turkey sandwich p...

Why shouldn't you trust the awning company?

Because they are shady.

Today my company relocated me to their Spain office.

But it’s ok, because nobody expects the Spanish acquisition.

Elon Musk needs to start a new company,

Elon Must.

I was feeling very lonely one day so I bought some stocks.

It's nice to have a bit of company.

I think I have finally made it big in my life. Today a representative from one of worlds biggest company said I have arrived.

It was google maps.

Why shouldn't you work for an Egyptian company?

They're all pyramid schemes

My company just installed an elevator that labels the ground floor as "2" and goes up from there.

It's wrong on so many levels.

The cryogenics company was going out of business so I had to take my parents head's home. We were never close,...

...our relations were thawed

I work at an Ink company in Spain. Yesterday I held a Competition about our company’s history. But looks like no one wanted to be a part of the

Spanish Ink Quiz Session

I’m clumsy, so my my job at the tripwire and claymore testing company had a rocky start

But i think i finally found my feet

Ford is creating a new company to manufacture electric vehicles using Tesla software and batteries.

They're naming it Edison.

A new military tech company is opening in New York soon, specializing in next-gen guided missile systems. Its still in the works, but they’ve already picked a name:

“Fire-and-Fuggedaboutit”.

(Note: I can honestly say that I did, in fact, think of this joke on my own, even if it’s appeared elsewhere in the past.)

I just received “Employee of the Month” at my furniture construction company.

But some people call me counter productive.

David and Shane worked for a small furniture company which had recently developed a new product.

They had been developing a new kind of smart shelf, and it was finally finished. This shelf had everything! Part of it featured a built in wireless charger, there were USB ports, part of it could flip up to reveal a screen which could be used as digital picture frame as well as had access to YouTube...

It was mandatory drug test day at my company, and we were standing in line awaiting our turn. Finally, the tester came by with his kit, took one look at me and said, "Sir, you even look stoned. Do you think you can pass this drug test"?

"Sure, man", I said. Then I promptly grabbed the kit and passed it to the guy next to me.

Needless to say, I passed!

What's a Texan's favorite moving company?

U'all

Why did the white supremacist start a baking company?

Because his family had a long history of being in bread.

Sent a couple of suggestions to a deodorant company this morning

Just putting my two scents in

Why can’t the Infiniti car company trademark ∞ ?

Because the legal battle would be endless.

Whats a communists favorite insurance company?

Allstate

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A family of Jews start up a train company. They call it...

IsRail

Why didn't the Minute Maid™ company van work?

It was a lemon.

A nail company name Nail Bay hired a publicity agency for a new video ad...

After 2 weeks they asked for a meeting to show the new video.

The video started with an aerial take from the desert and kept zooming into a tiny black spot, which as the zooms keep going is a cross with Jesus nailed on it.

Right after this , the screen goes black and the company logo i...

Show Off - A young businessman has just set up his own company.

A young businessman has just set up his own company. He rents an office downtown and buys some trendy furniture for it. Sitting behind his new desk, he suddenly sees a potential client come into the outer office. Wanting to appear busy, he picks up the phone and pretends that he’s calling an importa...

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My dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead, I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car.

When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity, ...

What’s the difference between a Chilean mining company and a Catholic priest?

The Chilean mining company gets its miners stuck in a shaft. The Catholic priest gets its shaft stuck in a minor.

I'm a recruiter for my company. Before I look at any resumes, I always throw half of them out.

I only want the lucky ones.

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A man is told by his employer that he has to go see the company doctor in order to keep his insurance...

He reluctantly goes, and is amazed to find no examination table, just a wall full of computer equipment. The doctor walks in and says, "Just place your hand on the scanner here" and shows the man a screen. Bewildered, he places his hand on the screen and immediately the panel glows beneath his hand,...

Janet Jackson wanted to sample a Future song so she asked his production company if she could use Beast Mode. The production company sent a representative to her door with a CD. She asked if it was Beast Mode

The representative said “Sorry Ms. Jackson, this is Fo Real”

Why did the newspaper company go out of business?

Too many issues

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A man joined a company

A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee.
On his first day,  he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone: "Get me a fuckin' cup  of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
...

I just bought 10,000 kW of electricity from this one company.

They charged me a lot.

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I told my sister to come work for me at my porn company and that last year I made $1 million. She said that’s gross.

I said “no, that’s net.”

Three insurance salesmen are having drinks and boasting about each company’s service.

The first one says, “When one of our insured died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and mailed a check on Wednesday evening.”



The second one says, “When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it i...

A farmer was in an accident with a trucking company and finally decided his injuries were serious enough to take the company to court.

In court, the trucking company’s lawyer was questioning the farmer and asked, “Didn’t you say at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?”

The farmer responded, “Well let me tell you what happened. I had just loaded my mule into the…”

“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupte...

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Business was bad, the small company was on the edge of bankruptcy.

The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office.

"Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job."

"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.

The owner loo...

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My buddy started an amputee porn production company.

He calls it XYX.

What do you call friend who works for an insurance company?

A friend with benefits



I'll leave now

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An army captain approaches a prostitute and asks her, "Would you enjoy my company for $100?"...

She looks at the handsome military officer and says, "Of course, I would be glad!"

Captain replies, "COMPANY! FORWARD!"

I recently started an explosives company.

It's only been around for a few days, but business is booming!

A company CEO always wants to put his employees in a good mood, so every morning he tells a funny story.

He is very shy though so he speaks over the intercom placed on his desk.

Every morning he tells the joke and a leaves the intercom on to hear the reaction.

No one says a word but after a good minute, everyone starts laughing. This happens every morning.

He is kind of confused b...

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