UPJOKE
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Why is the National Rifle Association filing for bankruptcy?

Because schools are closed.

A State Government Employee sits in his office, and out of boredom decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet

He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This would look nice on my mantelpiece," he thinks, so he takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice-cold diet Pepsi right now!" POOF! A Pepsi appears before him ...

NRA filing for bankruptcy?

I thought they were loaded!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

my best/worst joke

Sorry for any formatting/language issues!

A man is sitting at work, when suddenly his supervisor walks by and asks:
-hey man, how are you doing? Listen. I need to ask you something. Have you ever seen a penguin?
The man thinks for a second and answers that no, he hasn't.
-YOU HAVE N...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Mickey and Minnie are filing a divorce

The lawyer says, โ€œSo you are filing a divorce because you think that your wife is crazy.โ€

Mickey replies, โ€œI didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy!โ€

What did the dessert do after filing for divorce?

She took custardy of the kids.

Tony was in court filing for divorce just few months after marriage

Tony married one of a pair of identical twins.

A few months later, he was in court filing for a divorce.
"Would you tell the court your reason for wanting a divorce," the judge said.

"Well, Your Honor," Tony began, "periodically my sister-in-law would come over
for a visit and...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Mickie Mouse filing for divorce

Mickie Mouse is filing for divorce from Minnie Mouse. The judge tells Mickey, "I can't grant you divorce on grounds of insanity, Minnie seems perfectly fine to me."

Mickie responds "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy!"

Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.

The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.

The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"

Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just ...

A yoga instructor ends every class with a mediation, allowing people lay down and relax before slowly filing out for the night. A half hour passes and the instructor is surprised to see one man remain in her studio.

Annoyed, she walks over to him and asks if he plans on leaving anytime soon .
The man takes a deep, meditative breath and calmly replies, โ€œNah, Imma stayโ€.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Caitlyn Jenner is filing a Lawsuit for Sexual Harassment...

Claims that she's Constantly being Groped by Bruce Jenner.

What does the Pope use his filing cabinet for?

Storing his Papalwork.

I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company...

My girlfriend recently dumped me and this "No Tears" stuff isn't working at all.

What do you find in the filing cabinets of a law firm?

Organised crime.

What tax filing service does a pirate use?

H&ARGH Block

Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12...

....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu

My safety supervisor asked me why I wasn't done filing the hazardous material documents...

I told him I was doing asbestos I can

Why don't you ask about the home life of a filing cabinet?

It's usually a sorted affair.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A large group of first year medical school students filed into a lab...

...during their first week, for the first meeting of their gross anatomy class where they would be examining human cadavers. The professor walked to the front of the room, and addressed the students:


"The most important quality you will need as a physician is unfazability. Nothing can '...

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