Friend told me to stop filing taxes and go watch anime with him

but this isn't even my final form.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey and Minnie are filing a divorce

The lawyer says, “So you are filing a divorce because you think that your wife is crazy.”

Mickey replies, “I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy!”

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A large group of first year medical school students filed into a lab...

...during their first week, for the first meeting of their gross anatomy class where they would be examining human cadavers. The professor walked to the front of the room, and addressed the students:


"The most important quality you will need as a physician is unfazability. Nothing can '...

What did the dessert do after filing for divorce?

She took custardy of the kids.

A Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet.

He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold beer right now!" He gets his beer and drinks it. Now that ...

A yoga instructor ends every class with a mediation, allowing people lay down and relax before slowly filing out for the night. A half hour passes and the instructor is surprised to see one man remain in her studio.

Annoyed, she walks over to him and asks if he plans on leaving anytime soon .
The man takes a deep, meditative breath and calmly replies, “Nah, Imma stay”.

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Mickey mouse goes to a divorce court

Judge : Mr.Mickey , It says here the reason for you filing for divorce against Ms.Minnie , Is because , "she is very silly ?

Mickey : No , I said i wanted to divorce her because she was fucking goofy.

My wife found a new way to get ne to pay attention

She says "the motorcycles trash needs to be taken out" or "the boats clothes need to make it into the hamper" or "this weekend card game I'm taking the kids to my parents and filing for a divorce"

I checked the bike and the boat and wanted to tell her they're all set before the card game but ...

A policeman arrests a well dressed man in a suit and tie, walking down the Main Street of the city talking on his cell.

The man has a desk strapped to his back, complete with laptop, printer and filing cabinet. He has a dustbin on his head.

“Hold on councillor, I have a policeman trying to arrest me, and I haven’t got a clue why.” He turns and asks “What are the charges?”

“Impersonating an office, Sir”

Tony was in court filing for divorce just few months after marriage

Tony married one of a pair of identical twins.

A few months later, he was in court filing for a divorce.
"Would you tell the court your reason for wanting a divorce," the judge said.

"Well, Your Honor," Tony began, "periodically my sister-in-law would come over
for a visit and...

What tax filing service does a pirate use?

H&ARGH Block

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Caitlyn Jenner is filing a Lawsuit for Sexual Harassment...

Claims that she's Constantly being Groped by Bruce Jenner.

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I went to the gym and notice a small hole in my trainer just big enough to get a finger in

So long story short he's now filing for sexual assault.

What does the Pope use his filing cabinet for?

Storing his Papalwork.

I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company...

My girlfriend recently dumped me and this "No Tears" stuff isn't working at all.

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Mickie Mouse filing for divorce

Mickie Mouse is filing for divorce from Minnie Mouse. The judge tells Mickey, "I can't grant you divorce on grounds of insanity, Minnie seems perfectly fine to me."

Mickie responds "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy!"

What do you find in the filing cabinets of a law firm?

Organised crime.

A man walks into his new job.

He notices a two drawer filing cabinet that is unmarked sitting by his desk, he turns to his coworker and asks.

"Whats in the filing cabinet, I never need actual files."

"The top drawer is not for your eyes, its top secret."

The man asks "Can you at least tell me what is in the ...

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My sex life and my taxes fall in the same category.

Married, but filing separately.

Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12...

....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu

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