This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver’s license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds that she has a .38 Special in her purse. And a .45 in her glove box. And a 9mm Glock in the center console. And a shotgun in the trunk.
...

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver's license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds "I'll bet you $100 you can't guess the answer to that question" as she slaps a crisp bill on her dashboard.

The cop rubs his chin an...

Webinar: How to Avoid Fraud. Registration Fee $99

The webinar is canceled. Registration fee is non refundable.

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I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license...

and all just because of a stupid police officer...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagin...

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A London lawyer runs a stop sign..

And gets pulled over by an Irish cop. This hotshot sure knows he's better educated and definitely smarter than some random Irish cop. He decides to prove to himself how smart he is while having some fun at the cop.

Irish cop:"License and registration, please."

"What for?", lawyer asks....

[Super hero registration]

"So bat— man, you're blind I suppose?"

No.

"But you can fly tho... Like a bat?"

Nope.

"Um... so?"

####I'M BATMAN
#
"OK then"

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A woman was pulled over for speeding. This is what happened:

Woman: Is there a problem Officer.

Officer: ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it four times for drunk driving.

Offic...

I ran into the pub and shouted to my mate. “Dave! I’ve just saw your car being stolen."

He said “Didn’t you try to stop them?”

I said, “No, but don’t worry. I got the registration.”

A man gets pulled over by the police.

Robert: Is something wrong, officer?

Officer: Yes, you were driving too fast.

Robert: Okay, I understand.

Officer: May I see your driver's license, please?

Robert: I would like to let you see it if I had one.

Officer: You do not have a driver's license?

Robe...

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A Man was driving down the highway...

When he sees the siren of a police car appear behind him. The police officer pulls the man over and asks for his license and registration, the man, obviously upset, hands the information to the officer, the officer then asks, -Do you know why I pulled you over?-
_
The man knew why. "I understa...

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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange

:Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of...

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Registration on the first day back at school in London, England....

Ahmed Al Sheriah ………………………………"here"

Mustafa Al Sheriah …………………………….."here"

Fatima El Bindiri ……………………………….."here"

Ali Acmah Shabeeb ……………………………"here"

Ali Sun Al En ……………………..No answer

Ali Sun Al En?

Little girl...

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The pope is driving in a limousine...

He looks at his watch nervously and then at the driver: "Excuse me but could you go a bit faster, I have a meeting with the president and I really don't want to be late."
The driver responds: "With all due respect your hollynes, I can't go faster than the speed limit or I might lose my licence."...

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Getting Old

An older couple is driving down to Florida from New Jersey for the winter. The old lady, who has lost much of her hearing, is pulled over at the Florida state line for driving at a high rate of speed.

The officer approaches the vehcile, looks in and asks the lady, "do you know that I clocked ...

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John gets pulled over on the highway for speeding...

John: "Is there a problem officer?"

Cop: "You exceeded 80 in 55 zone. May I see your license?"

John: "ahhhh, why don't I spare you the trouble, officer? I don't have a license, so I shouldn't be driving this car that I jacked from this dude I just killed. The gun I used is right here i...

A man is pulled over by a cop.

The officer walks up to the car, gets the driver's license and registration, and tells him he was stopped because he failed to come to a complete stop at the stop sign.

The driver replies, "I slowed down. There was no one coming, so I drove on through."

The officer replies, "You are re...

A man was driving at 96 mph in a 70 mph zone when a cop pulls him over. As the officer gets to the window he says "license and registration sir." And the man replies with "I don't have a license or registration. I'm just delivering these drugs in the back."

The police officer is dumbfounded and calls in for backup. The k-9 unit shows up along with at least 5 other cruisers and the police chief. After a lengthy searching from officers and their drug dogs, nothing is ever found. The chief walks over to the man and says "Son there aren't any drugs in this...

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An old lady is rolling up and down the halls of the nursin home in her wheelchair making sounds like a car. VROOM VROOM!

An old man jumps out of his room and says "Ma'am you were speeding. License and registration please." She digs around in her purse, pulls out a candy wrapper and gives it to him. He looks it over, hands it back and sends her on her way with a warning.

The old lady is rolling up and down the h...

NSFW Cop pulls over a blonde for speeding

When he gets up to the window he asks for her licence and registration.

“What’s a licence” she asks

So the cop explains what a licence is.

The blonde quickly says “Oh I have one of those” and hands it over to the cop.

“I also need to registration” reminds the cop

...

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A man gets pulled over...

Cops walks over:

Cop: Sir, you know how fast you were going?

Man: I have no idea officer, just paying attention to the road, I guess.

Wife: Bullshit! You were going 90! I told you to slow down! Slow down! But noooooo!!

Man (quietly): shut the fuck up

Cop: I notic...

A blonde couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end.

The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the forms, the ...

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A guy is driving with his wife a few towns away from home when out of

nowhere a cop pulls him over for speeding. The cop says, "do you know why I pulled you over?'' The guy's wife says ''What'd he say?'' "HE SAID, DID I KNOW WHY HE PULLED ME OVER." Then the cop says "you were going 45 in a school zone." "What'd he say?" "HE SAYS I WAS SPEEDING." Then the cop says, "li...

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The pope's traffic stop

The pope is on tour in the United States. He's sitting in the back of the popemobile, and he says to himself, "You know, this is really getting to be a drag. Every day it's the same crowds, the same homily." Then a light bulb goes on. He says, "Driver, pull over. I'm going to drive for a while. You ...

Where do cats pay their registration?

In the feeline :)

So every Friday night this one bar in town gets a big crowd of VERY drunk people.

So knowing that people drink and drive from this bar a cop waits across the street to catch people. So 15 minutes before last call a guy walks out from the bar stumbling and falling over on his way to his car. The cop sees this and also sees him take about 2 minutes just to get his key in the igniti...

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Legendary Chicago Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray gets pulled over for going about 90 on the way to the ballpark ... (long)

He thinks his reputation will spare him from a ticket, but it's clear the cop is serious when he asks for Caray's license and registration. Harry, probably already three sheets to the wind, replies, "You know officer, I would give you that, but this is a stolen car." The cop is a bit taken aback and...

I saw a car with the registration plate 'BDR MNHF' earlier.

Now I feel like I'm seeing it everywhere.

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I was doing 65 in a 35 zone when a cop pulled me over.

Officer approaches the car. "License and registration, please."


"I would, officer, but...this car is stolen. Oh, and full disclosure, there's a loaded pistol in the glove box."


"Sir, I'm going to need you to step out of the car."


As I'm getting out, I also le...

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A lawyer was driving more than 120 miles per hour when he was stopped by a traffic cop.

"You were beyond the speed allowed. License and registration please." - said the officer.

"Well, it's expired." said the lawyer

"Documents of the vehicle please" - said the officer

"This is not my car."

"Please sir, open the glove compartment."

"I can't, there's a ...

A man walks into a doctor’s office...

A man walks into a doctor’s office.

He walks up to the registration desk and says, “I have a 1:30 appointment.”

“Awesome!” says the secretary. “Which doctor?”

“No,” the man goes. “The regular one.”

so a guy is speeding down a freeway, miles above the speed limit, and a cop pulls him over.

he comes up to the man and asks, "why were you speeding today sir?" the man replies, "i'm a juggler in a circus, and i'm late for my next show. i apologize. i assume you'll be needing my license and registration."

the cop looks intrigued, and says "whoa, hold on a sec. my daughter loves juggl...

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A man finally decides to give contact lenses a try...

An Ontario man finally decides to get rid of his glasses and give contact lenses a try. He gets them in the mail, tries them on and is astounded at the results. To celebrate, he decides to take a long drive into Quebec to admire the changing leaves.

He crosses the border and gets very excited...

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A guy gets pulled over by a cop for speeding...

The cop is going over the whole routine, license and registration. He asks the man what he does for a living.

Guy: I’m an asshole stretcher.

Cop: excuse me, how do you do that?

Guy: you start with a finger, then work another one in till you have a whole hand in there. Then you...

Registration on the first day back at school in Birmingham, ENGLAND.

*Registration on the first day back at school in Birmingham, ENGLAND.
The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:*

"Mustafa Al Eih Zeri?" "Here"

"Achmed El Kabul?" "Here"

"Fatima Al Hayek? " "Here"

"Ali Abdul Olmi?" "Here"

"Mohammed Bin Kadir?" "Here"...

A blonde lady cop pulls over a blond lady driver

The cop approaches and says license and registration please. The blonde driver says what’s a license? The blonde cop rolls her eyes and says it’s a little rectangular thing with your face on it. The driver searches in her purse and finds a make-up mirror, seeing her face she says Oh! Here it is. The...

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A black man was driving a brand new mercedes

He saw cop lights in his rear view mirror and pulled over. He calmly pulls over to the shoulder of the road and waits for the police officer to knock on the window.

“Goin’ a little fast back there, yeah? License and registration.”

The black man hands over the information and says “Sir...

A cop lies in wait as a group leaves a bar

Finally closing time, he dims his lights and waits for the group to get in their vehicles.

As the people get to their cars, the first car to leave the parking lot swerves a bit, pops the curb slightly, continues on and gets back on the road and makes a slow start to head home. Seeing this, th...

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A cop pulls a guy over..

Goes up to the drivers window, says “license and registration please.”

Guy says “here is my registration, I’m sorry but I don’t have my license on me.”

The officer, in a good mood replies, “that’s okay, what’s your name I can look you up in our system”

“Nick”

“Nick... wha...

An old lady was stopped for speeding

Police officer: I'm sorry, but I think you were driving a bit too fast?

Old lady: What?! No, that can't be true!

Police officer: Can I see your drivers license?

Old lady: No, I don't have it anymore. I lost it 4 years ago when driving while drunk!

Police officer: Well.. C...

Blonde speeding...

There was a Blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please" "It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling. "That's ...

A Polish police officer pulls over a German tourist.

Officer: Good day, license and registration, please.

The tourist gives his license and registration to the police officer.

Officer: What is your age?

Tourist: 31 years old.

Officer: Occupation?

Tourist: No, just visiting.

I saw twins in cute matching outfits and asked them, “Your mom always buys matching clothes for you?”

One replied, “Sir, we are not twins. License and Registration please.”

A blonde was pulled over

When the cop came over to her window he said: license and registration please.
She said: what is a license?
Cop: it’s a card that has your picture on and says that you can drive.
Blonde: ohh that thing, and pulls it out and gives it to him, cop hands it back and then asks: and the registrat...

got pulled over today for driving a new truck

Cop: License and registration please, who does this truck belong too?



me: The bank they let me drive it whilst paying for it...



he wasn't laughing

A police officer and a hot blonde

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window.
The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.

"I've pulled you over for spee...

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A guy gets pulled over by a cop ...

The officer says, "Sir, did you know you have a broken tail light?"

The guy's wife, sitting next to him, says, "I told you to get that fixed."

The guy screams at his wife, "Shut the fuck up!"

The officer asks for license, and registration, and says, "Sir, your license is expired...

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The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

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Tim is driving to work when a man wearing yellow suddenly flags him down

He slows down, puzzled.

"Just who are you supposed to be?"

The man replies: "I'm a yellow cunt and I'll be on my way if you just give me some food!"

Tim is confused, but being a generally good-natured man, he gives the sandwich he was going to have for lunch, and the man skips a...

Two priests get pulled over on i95...

When he gets to the window, the trooper asks the driver, "License and registration... do you know why I pulled you over?"

The priest driving replies, "I have no clue, I'm sorry."

The trooper says, "We've looking for two child molesters."

The priest nervously looks at the other p...

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A police officer pulls over an elderly couple

He walks up to the driver's side window and asks the husband for his license and registration.

The wife, hard of hearing, asks "what?! What did he say to you?"

The husband replies "he wants my license!"

The officer asks him if he knew how fast he was going.

The wife yel...

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A man was driving his car on the highway..

When a man in red stopped him. "Who are you?" asked the driver. The man replied "I'm the red pig and I want a ride". "I don't give rides to pigs" said the driver and he went on his way.

A few metres later a man in green stops him. "Who are you?" asked the driver. The man replied "I'm the gree...

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An elderly couple gets pulled over by a cop.

The wife is driving, but she has a bit of a hearing problem. The officer notifies her that she was doing 38 in a 25 zone.
The wife turns to her husband and asks "What'd he say?"

The husband replies "He says you were speeding!"
The wife turns back to the officer and says "Oh, sorry offic...

The cow goes 'moo.' The horse goes 'neigh'. The pig goes

Can I see your licence and registration?

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Pope Francis came to visit the US…

He was to address the UN in the morning, and give mass at Madison Square Garden later that day. After the UN address, the pope was given a chauffeur driven limo to get to MSG in time for the mass. Leaving the UN, he ran into New York City bumper-to-bumper traffic, and was stuck with the time for m...

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An Old Man and his Wife get Pulled Over

An old man and his wife are driving down the interstate one day when they begin to get pulled over.

The old man who is driving says “Damn, we’re getting pulled over!”

The old woman, who is hard of hearing cups her ear and mutters “Eeeehhh?”

The old man replies “WE’RE GETTING PU...

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Traffic Cop

After spending an hour at the mall I was ready to head home, but as I exited into the parking lot I saw a police officer writing a ticket.


"Hey, what gives?!" I exclaimed, hoping for some kind of explanation.


Without saying a word, the officer pointed to the no parking sign abo...

Ticket

One day, a woman is speeding on a quiet road in New York. Eventually, an officer spots her and gets her to pull over. She realizes that she's in a bit of a pickle, so she tries to joke with the officer. He walks up and asks for her license and registration. As he takes them, she asks, "So, when is t...

Man pulls over to the side of the road next to two guys

Man: Awwww, look at this ! How cute are you !

Guy: Sir...

Man: You are so cute ! Are you twins??

Guy: Sir, I...

Man:Your mom even got the same clothes for both of you, you must be twins !

Guy: Sir, turn off the engine, and give me your licence and registration.

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Choking on the Phonetic Alphabet

Last week, I was registering for a website when I ran into a little trouble and had to call their customer support. We were going through some basic form information and he was having trouble understanding my spelling so he told me to use the phonetic alphabet.

For those of you that don't kn...

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A man get pulled over for speeding.

The officer walks up to the driver window and the driver rolls it down.

Officer: “can I see your license”

Driver: “sorry I can’t do that, I don’t have a license.”

Officer: “you don’t have one?”

Driver: “yup, lost it drunk driving 5 times”

Officer: “okay, can I see ...

A man gets pulled over

Frustrated, he reaches for the insurance and registration as the cop slowly approaches the vehicle. The man then starts to reach for his wallet when he realizes he doesn’t have his seat belt on. With a quick look in the rear view mirror he quickly puts his seatbelt on as he gets out his wallet just ...

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A car is speeding on the highway going insanely over the speed limit...

A cop spots the car and proceeds to chase him. Eventually he catches up with him and pulls him over. The cop goes to the driver's window and asks 'License and registration please?' The guy says: 'I don't have any, this is a stolen car.' The cop says: 'Let me see the glove compartment' and the guy sa...

My oldest dirty joke, From my grandfather around the campfire...

**An old couple gets pulled over and...**

Lady cop - "May I see you license and registration sir?"

Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife - "She needs to see you license and registration dear."

**The old man hands it to the lady cop and...**

Lady cop - "Oh, I ...

A cop pulls over a 90 year old woman...

He exits his car and walks up to the old woman's window.

"Do you realize how fast you were going?"

"No." She answers, looking forward, making no eye contact.

"Twice the speed limit! Ma'am, can I see your license and registration?"

"I can't give you my license," she answ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was pulled over for doing 50 in a 30 zone... [Long]

A man was pulled over for doing 50 in a 30 zone, and the police officer comes up to him and asks for his license and registration. The guy replies "I don't think that would be the best idea, seeing as it's not there, this is a stolen car. I stole it."

The officer, a little surprised, says "So...

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A young man buys the sports car of his dreams

While visiting his grandfather, the man finds out his grandfather has wanted to drive one of these cars for a *very* long time. Since the two were so close, the man decided to let his grandfather drive his beloved machine.

On the highway, the grandfather was driving in excess of 200kph, and ...

A cop stoped a guy for speeding

"license and registration," he asked. After handing them over, the cop reviews his license, looks at his face, and says, "it says here you need glasses". The guy politely protested, "officer, I have contacts". The cop shot back, "I don't care whom you know; you still have to wear your glasses".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tonight’s DD

One night a police officer is sitting outside a bar, soon after he arrives he sees a man stumble out of the bar and towards his car. He reaches his vehicle and pulls out his keys, fumbling and dropping them multiple times. He then proceeds to attempt to insert the key into the car door, missing the ...

A woman was pulled over for speeding...

When the officer reaches the vehicle he informs the woman that she was driving more than double the speed limit and asks to see her license and registration. The woman refuses to produce them and, when asked why, states that she doesn't have a license or registration and that the vehicle is stolen. ...

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Dwarfs

A man is driving along a road after doing grocery when a red dwarf jumps in front of his car. His car screeches to a halt and the dwarf says: "im a red dwarf and asshole and if you dont give me all your strawberries then i wont move out of the way." The man reluctantly hands over the strawberries th...

A female blond police officer pulls over another blond female driver..

Blond police officer: "Can I see your license and registration?"
Driver: "What's a license?"
Police officer: "It's a thing in your purse with your picture on it."
Driver: *Fumbles through purse and finds her reflection on a mirror and hands it to the officer*
Police officer: *looks in mi...

"Speeding"

Tom is cruising down the highway way over the speed limit. Cop pulls him over.
"Sorry officer, guess the speedometer got away from me. Happens every time I get hammered and try to drive home."
"What?! You're intoxicated?"
"Well I needed a stiff drink after I shot that guy! It's okay though,...

What's your name?

A cop pulls a guy over and asks for his license and registration.

The driver responds, "I don't have a license or registration, Officer."

"Tell me your name then," the cop demands.

"Mr. Kret," the driver says.

"TELL ME YOUR FULL NAME," the officer barks, sufficiently ...

Schrödinger gets pulled over by a cop...

When the officer walks up to the window and asks Schrödinger for his license and registration, the psychologist seems to be a little off. Not sure if Schrödinger is drunk and/or on drugs, the officer asks him to step out of the car so he can perform a sobriety test. Schrödinger passes with flying co...

So a man gets pulled over for speeding...

The officer says " liscence and registration" the man says in response "But officer I.. I have a gun in my glove box" so the officer calls in his backup and the guy is sitting outside of his car when he says "I also have a body in the trunk" and then the cops have a detective come to file a report o...

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A man gets pulled over...

A man gets pulled over and the police officer approaches the driver's window. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" The driver says, "No sir." The cop says "Well son, you were speeding. Now please hand me your license and registration." The driver pulls out his license and says, "Well my registration...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A high-class London lawyer gets stopped by police...

A high class stuck-up London lawyer gets pulled over by traffic police for failing to stop at a stop sign.

Officer: 'License and registration please'

Lawyer: 'Why?'

Officer: 'Because you failed to stop at the stop sign back there'

Lawyer: 'But I slowed down and could see ...

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Asshole dwarfs

One guy travels on the road at 12am. Suddenly, a yellow dwarf jumps on the highway and marks him with his hands to pull over.
The guy pulls over and starts shouting at the dwarf:
"What are you doing? I could run over you!"
dwarf replied: "I'm an asshole yellow dwarf, and you will give me a ...

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A young state trooper pulls over an old lady on a rural road

A young state trooper pulls over an old lady for speeding on a rural stretch of highway. After he approaches the car he asks her:
"License and registration please ma'am."

She responds with: "That's fine officer, but I have to tell you, I do keep a gun in my glove box with my information."<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

man drives his father casket back to mexico...

Man puts the casket in his truck and hauls his father from oklahoma back and gets pulled over in texas.

State trooper pulls him over. He asked the man for his license and registration with proof of insurance.

Man pulls out his credentials and hands it to the state trooper.

Troop...

A cop pulled over an elderly lady...

He approached the car. "License and registration, please."

The elderly lady handed the officer the requested documents, along with her firearms carry permit. The officer, on seeing the permit, asked the woman if she had any guns with her.

"Why yes. I've got a Smith & Wesson revolve...

Another blonde joke...

A blonde was speeding on a highway when a policeman pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and say "excuse me ma'am can I see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just ye...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and Kim jong un were driving down the road...

Donald was driving , Barack was in the passenger seat ,and Kim Jong Un was riding in the back seat.

Trump was going 90 miles an hour in a 60 MPH zone.

Trump notices in the rear view mirror a cop was pulling them over.

“I’m gonna need to see your license and registration” said ...

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I Just Got Pulled Over

The officer asks for my drivers license, I tell him "I don't got that." He goes,"Alright, let me see some registration than." I tell him "I don't got that either! But let me tell you what, I got a body in the back of my trunk."

He looks shocked, backs away from my car and tells me he's calli...

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding...

..."Afternoon ma'am. May I see your license and registration?" The old lady wordlessly hands the officer these items. As the officer reaches for the papers, he takes observation of the old woman.

She wasn't just old, she was very old. Must have been in her mid 90's. The fact that she was spee...

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Two guys from California get pulled over in Texas.....

Two guys from California get pulled over in Texas by a State Trooper. Driver pulls to the side and is looking for his license when the trooper walks up to the window and taps it with his baton. No sooner does the guy roll the window down when the trooper smacks him across the face with the baton. Dr...

Man with his blonde wife on a road trip and then a police officer stops them...

"License and registration please!" Says the police officer.

"But why did you stop us," says the husband.

"You've been running over 100 kilometers which is the limit," replies the officer.

"Did you make a mistake?" Says the husband, "I am sure i wasn't going over the limit".
<...

A cop stops a man for running a red light and asks for his license.

Man: "Don't have one".

Cop: "Show me registrations."

Man: "Don't have 'em."

Cop: "Show me a proof of insurance."

Man: "Don't have that one either."

Cop: "Show me your ID."

Man: "Nope, don't have it."

Cop: "Well, then I am going to have to call an offi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cop is driving around in his car

When he comes upon a car parked on a dead end street and sees some people in it. He walks upto the car where he sees a guy reading a book in the front seat and a girl knitting in the back seat.

He asks the gentleman for his license and registration. He goes back to his car and runs the info, ...

George's son

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.

The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to
the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."

The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.

Says George: "What? There ...

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A cop had set up a speed trap at the end of a bridge

when yet another lucky customer comes roaring past doing twenty miles over the limit. The cop lights him up and pulls him over. After retrieving the driver's license and registration, he's filling out the ticket and he asks the driver, "So, what do you do for a living sir?"

The guy replies, ...

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A little old lady gets pulled over.

The cop asks for her licence and registration. He then asks her if she has any illegal drugs or weapons in the car.

She says, "Yes, I have a 9mm in my purse, a .357 in the glove compartment, a sawed off shotgun between the seats and an assault rifle in the trunk."

The cop is surprised...

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Be careful what you wish for

Two men are speeding through Saskatchewan when an RCMP officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the drivers window and taps on it with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and SMACK! The officer clubs him on the head! "This is Saskatchewan, boy! when you get pulled over here you ...

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Woman speeding

There was a woman speeding down the highway, and a police officer pulled her over. He asked her if she knew why he pulled her over. She shrugged. "Can I see your license and registration?" The police officer asked. "NO, i stole this car." The woman replied. The police officer looked shocked. "I also...

I just joined the pessimists club.

Only had to fill out half or the registration form.

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A cop pulls a man over for speeding...

"What seems to be the problem officer?"

"You were speeding, license and registration please."

"I'm sorry, I cant do that."

"And why is that?"

"My drivers license was taken from me while driving drunk."

"Well, give me your cars registration then."

"I cant do ...

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An old lady gets pulled over for speeding

The officer walks up to the car and asks for her license and registration. While questioning her, he asks if she has any weapons in the car.

"Why yes, officer, as a matter of fact I have a 9mm handgun in my glovebox."

The officer is a little surprised, but says, "Ma'am I'm going to n...

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Another guy speeding joke.

A guy is in a rush to get to work, and he driving quickly.

He crosses over a bridge, and get's tagged by a cop and pulled over.

The cop slowly walks up to the car and asks for license and registration.

After they check out the cop returns and says, "Do you know why I pulled you...

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Blonde Joke

A blonde is speeding on the road and a cop pulls her over. He walks over and asks for her license and registration. She pulls out all her papers and gives them to the cop. He checks her name on the scanner, she comes up with a flawless record(no tickets), yet she has been pulled over tons of times. ...

Pearly Gates Duty

It was time for St Peter's annual three-week vacation, and Jesus volunteered to fill in for him at the Pearly Gates.

"It's no big deal," St Peter explained. "Just sit at the registration desk, and ask each person a little about his or her life. Then, send them to housekeeping to pick up their...

A police stops a speeding man.

Reminds me of a classic joke:
A traffic cop pulls over a man on the highway. He asks for his License.
"I haven't got one, what with my constant drunk driving arrests."
The cop is somewhat taken back, but proceeds to ask for registration.
"It's in the glove box next to the gun."
"You h...

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A guy's driving his truck through a huge storm

He suddenly notices a man wearing a red raincoat on the side of the road waving at him, so he pulls over. He lowers the window and aks:

'What do you want?'

'I'm the red-coated dickhead, and I'm hungry!'

After a while, the trucker just throws out his lunch to the guy and then dri...

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