UPJOKE
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I recently asked a friend who operated a crematorium about how COVID had affected him

He said all the extra work left him feeling burned out

What’s the difference between Boba Fett and a time machine operated by Marty McFly?

One’s a Mandalorian, and the other’s a Manned DeLorean!

My friend just confessed to me that he had a third nipple and he’s had it operated.

He really needed to get it off his chest.

Faithful Wife

On the occasion of their 50th Anniversary, a man asked his wife, "Honey, you have been with me through thick and thin, and gave me constant love and support, however I just have to know whether you have actually been faithful to me all this time."

To which the wife replies, "To be honest, I h...

What do you call a concession stand operated by Isis?

Allahu Snackbar

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was a kid I hated how the church operated

Its all quiet and dark



All the sitting down and standing up and kneeling



I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill suffered an excruciating pain in his balls since childhood. No doctor could ever diagnose what was wrong with them. So finally, they suggested him to get them operated.

After the operation, now being a free man, with slightly lesser pain than earlier, he was happy and wanted to start his life afresh. So he went to the garments shop closest to the hospital.

'Excuse me, I'd like to buy a suit, could you please take my measures?' said Bill to the owner of the s...

I met a surgeon who operated on ears, noses and oaks

He was an E.N.Tree surgeon

A man has a strange request for his doctor...

Credit to u/tenebralupo for the last time I recall this joke being posted here. I thought it'd be funny, so enjoy!

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Some guy walks into his doctor's office.

"Good morning. Are you here for a checkup?"

"Not really. I've decided I want to be castrated."

"Castrat...

An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon. Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son:

"Don’t be nervous, boy, just do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man in Ukraine who operated a train for a living.

He showed up to work one day extremely drunk and starting hitting people on the tracks, killing a few before he was caught and arrested. State law deemed that death via the electric chair was an acceptable punishment for his deeds.


The day he was put to death, they asked him for any last ...

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