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Regulated Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Masturbation is the only thing not taxed, regulated or illegal

Feel free to go fuck yourself

Amusingly, the flow of excrement in the sewer system is well-regulated.

And thanks to modern architectural decor, it’s all in all a pretty solid waste system.

Diving is a dangerous industry.

It should be regulated.

Legendary composer Jim Steinman has died at the age of 73...

One of his biggest hits was "Dead Ringer for Love" a duet by Meat Loaf and Cher. Making the video for the song took weeks, as Cher's working hours were strictly regulated due to most of her being under 18

A newly hired doctor is visiting the insane asylum he'll be working in for the first time

During the tour he sees a man alone in a room, standing completely naked except for the top hat on his head. His curiosity is piqued and he asks to have a brief interview with the patient.


"Excuse me sir," the doctor asked, "if you don't mind me asking, why aren't you wearing clothes?"...

Subway's Jared Fogle sentenced to 15.6 years...

Where his diet will be regulated to just 6 inchers.

Life Support

After the birth of their first child Tom and Sarah decided it was time to write a will and get their affairs in order. They went to a lawyer and outlined for him their ideas about how their estate should be handled.

The lawyer then asked them questions about what medical means should be emplo...

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Saw someone post this on Facebook. Got a kick out of it.

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity
generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water
utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-re...

Asked my friend to make up a joke about two Canadians and a Bear

A visually impaired Canadian is notified that a bear has broken into his house and is eating all his food.

He hurries home and into the kitchen, where he finds A: his hairy housemate and B: a bear.

But he doesn't know which is which!

"Shoot us both," the housemate says, "it's th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

James from Bulgaria lived trains.

James from Bulgaria loved trains since he was a boy. He particularly loved how fast they could go. As a child he enjoyed playing with model trains and even owned an old conductors hat that he wore everywhere.

When he grew up he worked very hard and eventually became a train driver. And he lo...

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