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What do you call a jockey with a sore throat?

The hoarse whisperer

Three men sat around a table in a bar and talked about their wives.

The first man says, "I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician. When I got home last night I found a pair of pliers and some insulating tape behind the radiator in the bedroom - we've not had any work done on the house, and I can't think of any other way they could have got there".
...

If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear?

Depends

Why do the horses hate the jockey?

Because he's a horse racist.

A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse.

The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but prom...

Three Irish guys chatting:

First says, I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician, I came home and under the bed was a pair of wire cutters.

Second one says, I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber, I came home and under the bed was a wrench.

Third one says, I think my wife is having an a...

I told my dad I wanted to be a jockey when I grew up

He said I had to pick one

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Kentucky Derby trivia - Why don't female jockeys shave their pussies?

They like their fur long!

I'll show myself out...

If horse jockeys have to be tiny

just imagine how small disk jockeys have to be.


I'll see myself out.

What does Paddy Irishman says when he meets a one legged jockey?

How're you gettin' on?

My brother is so dumb.

He was complaining about jockeys squeezing his balls. I told him to try boxers. He came back and said, no their hands are too rough.

African Horses

In a world of horse racing dominated by the West, a new super power emerged. South African jockeys were jockeys were completely dismantling their opponents despite riding lame horses and weighing 250 pounds. Their budget just wasn't high enough to afford high quality gear, but they were still beatin...

what did they call the disc jockey who kept playing the same songs again and again?

DJ Vu

I just blew it!

A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned in. The Radio Jockey said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize."

"That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.

"Feel confident?" she asked. "It...

Naughty Horse Race

Horses in the race are:

1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Johnson
9. Heavy Bosum
10. Merry Cherry

At the Post:

They’re off! Conscience is left behind at the post.

Joc...

Considerate.

*An old silly one...but a grin inducer nevertheless*

Mr. Fienstein called the FM radio station and said "I've found a wallet with $400, a credit card and an ID card belonging to Mr. Smith, No.13,Halls Rd, Jackson, TN."
To which the radio jockey says " Oh how honest. So you want his wallet...

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Three men sit around a table

They talk about their wives' affairs.

"My wife must have been fucking the plumber. I saw pipes and wrenches under the bed.", one says.

"My wife must have been fucking the mailman. I saw letters and stamps under the bed.", the other says.

"That's nothing. My wife must have been f...

Three dumb guys are in a bar talking about their cheating wives...

First guy says, "I'm sure my wife is having an affair with a plumber. Yesterday when I came home I found a lot of plumbing equipment under our bed that don't belong to me."

Second guy says, "I'm sure my wife is having an affair with an electrician. I came home yesterday to find an electrician...

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Three guys are drinking at a bar..

And the first one, after a few drinks, says to the others.
"I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber"
"Why do you think that?" the other two ask
"because when i got home last week, i found plumber's tools under the bed"
the other two console him, buy a round of drinks...

Paddy is talking to two of his friends at work.

Paddy is talking to two of his friends at work.
His first friend confides to the other two, “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”

The second friend then also confides, “Wow, me too! ...

Hard candy

At the horse races, the inspector observes that a coach is giving something to one of the horses.
Inspector:
- What is this pill?!
- This is just some hard candy. I eat them, and this horse likes them as well. Want to try?
- Well, why not...
Before the start of the race the coach tell...

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A boy and a pile of sh**

A Scotsman, Irishman and Englishman were walking down the street. They notice a little boy playing in some horse shit. So the Scotsman went up to the little boy and asked, "What are you doing there lad." The boy looked up and said, "I am making me a Scottish warrior." The Scotsman gets all mad and s...

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Marines' Early Morning Drill

A drill instructor had just been assigned a bunch of new recruits that he had to help train and introduce into the Marine Corps.

On the first morning after moving into the barracks, the DI woke everyone up at 0430, and ordered them to take a cold shower to break them in. Then, after 8 minutes...

A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.

Once it started, the jockey couldn't control it as it veered off track. So the crowd started calling him arrogant as he couldn't get off his high horse..

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