Manoeuvre Jokes - 11 Hilarious Manoeuvre Jokes

I once tried to memorize every military manoeuvre in history.

It was formation overload.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar

Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said, "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm a gonna go over there and help." He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head ...

We have just got a bird of prey that will only move at night to 80’s music…

Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.

HELP: Trying to write a joke

I hope this doesn't go against any sub rules. I'm ok if it gets deleted.

So, I had an idea pop into my head last night, and I need some help in fleshing out the body of the joke.

It would go something like this:

A man and his son are walking near (body of water) on Christmas Day...

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks

Buddy and his wife, Edna, went to the state fair every year, and every year, Edna would say :
“Buddy, I’d like to ride in that helicopter”

Buddy always replied, “I know Honey, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”

One year Buddy and Edna w...

How do you help a pig that’s choking on something?

With the Hamlich manoeuvre.

An American and a Soviet general are at the UN and are bragging about who has the best soldiers.

The American says: "We train our men hard; our boys march 100 miles a day in basic training". The Russian says "Da, so what? Our soldiers march 200 miles a day and double on weekends".

The American retorts "Well... when our GIs march they do it carrying 90lb packs without so much as a complai...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife was choking at dinner, so I flipped her over the table, pulled her knickers down and stuck my tongue up her arse.

The shock made her spit out the obstruction and breathe again.

Thank god I knew the hind-lick manoeuvre!

We've got an aviary at home, Sadly one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music.

Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark

Choking Hazard.

Jim: I once saw a man choke to death right in front of my very eyes.

Nancy: God that must have been awful, did you try to save him with the Heimlich manoeuvre?

Jim: I couldn't at the time, my hands were wrapped tightly around his throat.

A young woman starts choking on her seafood at a restaurant.

The man behind her says "Stand back! I'm a doctor!" and proceeds to use the Heimlich manoeuvre on her.

A whole small fish shoots out of her mouth and the woman finally gasps in a few breaths.

The doctor picks up the fish and says "What's a plaice like you doing in a girl like this?"

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