This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar

Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said, ‟That little gal is havin’ a bad time. I am a gonna go over there and help.” He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head...

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!

Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say,

'Edna,I'd like to ride in that helicopter'

Edna always replied,

'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

One year Buddy and Edna went ...

A lawyer gets pulled over by a cop

A police officer pulled over a lawyer who had failed to come to a complete stop at a stop sign. The lawyer argued his case that the spirit of the law was simply that the manoeuvre be safe and since he hadn't caused an accident his actions complied with the law.
The officer disagreed and informed ...

How do you help a pig that’s choking on something?

With the Hamlich manoeuvre.

We've got an aviary at home, Sadly one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music.

Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife was choking at dinner, so I flipped her over the table, pulled her knickers down and stuck my tongue up her arse.

The shock made her spit out the obstruction and breathe again.

Thank god I knew the hind-lick manoeuvre!

Choking Hazard.

Jim: I once saw a man choke to death right in front of my very eyes.


Nancy: God that must have been awful, did you try to save him with the Heimlich manoeuvre?


Jim: I couldn't at the time, my hands were wrapped tightly around his throat.

A young woman starts choking on her seafood at a restaurant.

The man behind her says "Stand back! I'm a doctor!" and proceeds to use the Heimlich manoeuvre on her.

A whole small fish shoots out of her mouth and the woman finally gasps in a few breaths.

The doctor picks up the fish and says "What's a plaice like you doing in a girl like this?"

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