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Majors Jokes

Why don't calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

How do psychology majors get depression?

Like dude, just look at your notes.

Three engineering majors

Three engineering majors were discussing who designed the human body.

The first one said "It had to be a mechanical engineer; the body has hundreds of joints."

The second one says "It had to be an electrical engineer; the nervous system has thousands of electrical connections."

...

To all the philosophy majors out there...

Can I get a Grande Mocha with whip please?

For the English majors

A guy’s arm is hurting so he goes to the doctor. He tells the doctor, “Doc, my arm is hurting real bad.” So the doctor says, ”Roll up your sleeve and let me take a look at it. ” The man does and his arm says, ”Doc, can you loan me twenty bucks”? The doctor tells the man to roll his sleeve down and s...

The geek, the girl and the bicycle

Two engeneering majors (geeks) meet. One tell the other what happened to him. “Yesterday I had the strangest of things happen. I was walking home from class when a young beautiful women on a bicycle stopped in front of me.” His friend begged him to continue. “So, she looked me up and down, ripped he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For the English majors

I'd rather cuddle, then have sex.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't believe how low the standards have gotten with porn majors at University

They're passing everyone with several D's these days.

What do you call philosophy majors making fun if each other?

Socrateasin

What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other?

Cyber boolean

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A first-year college student found himself repeatedly impressed by the wit and wisdom of the philosophy majors he'd met...

A first-year college student found himself repeatedly impressed by the wit and wisdom of the philosophy majors he'd met. One day he plucked up the nerve to ask one of them, "So how come all you philosophy majors are so smart?" 

"Oh, that's no mystery," the philosophy major answered. "We've al...

I'm jealous of agriculture majors who become farmers...

Because they always find a job in their field.

All the Geology majors at my university smoke a lot weed.

I guess you could say that they're all a bunch of stoners.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many music majors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

16

One to screw it in and 15 others to stand around and talk shit about how bad the one person did.

What do Women's Studies majors like after dessert?

A tip

What do math majors get when they graduate?

A radian.

Math majors don't use degrees.

Myself, along with a small group of fellow Chemistry majors have been close friends since our college days.

I guess you could say that we have developed strong bonds.

Us psych majors get a bad rep

People think we think we know what they’re thinking

Two Statistics majors walk into a bar

What're the chances!

One More For All The Philosophy Majors Out There

The Physics major asks: How does it work?

The Engineering major asks: How do you build it?

The Accounting major asks: How much will it cost?

The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that?

If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it...

does is lay on the ground, or lie?

What did the Art Major say to the Other Majors?

I'll paint your reactions when your Jobs are Automated if you buy me dinner!

What kind of car do most philosophy majors drive?

An uber.

For all of those Philosophy Majors out there

Philosophy Joke:

If an argument concludes a tree fall without human interaction in a forest for a stump to be made, and there are no lumberjack's in the forest to hear it, does it make it sound?

My niece is a sophomore at West Point. She's already had five majors,

and three Captains and two Lieutenants.

What do liberal arts majors yell when overwhelmed?

Oh,the humanities!

Math joke: Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was so happy when my coach told me I should be playing in the majors.

Then I realized I was in band class.

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