This shutdown is bad for everyone in the service industry, but it especially sucks for men

We're losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing

How does the pandemic affect the rental car industry?

It Hertz.

How do you make a small fortune in the rocket industry?

By using a trampoline.

Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine.

Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine

The pop music industry is very eco-friendly

They keep recycling the same four chords.

The artist named “Feat” has a monopoly on the music industry and should be tracked down.

Every time I see a song, Feat is always on it. This is too suspicious, and must mean he has a monopoly on the recording industry. Maybe he has parents with connections, maybe he is holding someone hostage, or maybe it is something much worse. What is apparent though, is that he is definitely breakin...

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During this crisis, the government is trying to find a way to help the sex worker industry.

The only problem is that they can't work out what to name the help without using the words *relief*, *stimulus* or *package*

You know the industry hit hardest by coronavirus?

Home invasion.

Do you know why the ketchup industry is thriving in Germany this year?

Heinz' zeit is 2020

I'm well known for making my fortune in the mattress industry

It's why they call me "Bed Company", and I can't deny.

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How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

What are the people involved in the beef industry called?

Steak-holders.

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(NSFW) How does the porn industry battle incest?

Step by step

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COVID has brought the Stand-Up industry to a screeching halt,

but I once had to quit doing porn when I got HPV, so this isn't the first time a virus has prevented me from pursuing my dreams.

I recently started a recruitment agency that only deals with the underground mining industry.

It's called, Staff It Where The Sun Don't Shine.

For 2020 reddit is committing to being the most environmentally friendly company in the tech industry.

They are committing to 100% recycled content.

I invented a device to disrupt the watchmaking industry. I emailed a proposition to a French watchmaker. Their response?

Seiko Killer? Qu'est-ce que c'est?

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishmen

...are debating philosophy. The question arises over the course of their debates: what separates man from the animals?

"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the heights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the ...

what do you get when you combine role playing and the hotel industry?

Air D&D

As an employee in the health care industry, I make it a point to keep up with all the latest medical news. Just the other day I read about a man who had the entire left side of his body amputated.

After that, he was alright.

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I failed to get into the male pornstar industry

Apparently I have shortcomings

I just lost my job manufacturing children’s playground aparatus

This industry is all swings and roundabouts

The con artist industry must not be doing well.

They’re always asking for money

What do you call a Israeli Man that works in the Beer making industry?

Hebrew

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There's plenty of jobs in the porn industry when you have a cock like mine.

Camera man, light and sound technician, make up artist, or even production manager.

A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the sporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the gents when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal...

Why is calcium vital in the brass instrument manufacturing industry?

Because calcium helps build trombones

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What would your thoughts be if your significant other wanted to work in the adult industry?

I would like to see her try to make a living out of having sex two times a year.

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I think I'd do well in the porn industry

I'm an incredibly hard worker

The mining industry wants to put out a radio advert to help with recruitment. They hire a jingle writer, and he asks them what key he should write it in.

They said: "B minor".

I know an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry.

He mined his own business.

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The porn industry should really invest more to virgin porn

I believe there is alot of untapped potential there.

Piracy is killing the music industry...

You try playing a guitar with a hook.

My dad won the industry award for best surgical oncologist.

They said his mastectomy work was breastaking.

Diving is a dangerous industry.

It should be regulated.

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Pro tip

How male pornstars are referred to in the porn industry

The frisbee industry will probably die one day...

...but boomerangs, those will always make a comeback.

More bad news for the coal industry

Hundreds of minors out of work since the arrest of Jeffery Epstein.

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A local expert from the food industry goes on a knowledge exchange trip to Japan

He is visiting a fully automated factory for salami. There is a japanese personnel from the factory that leads the tour and shows how from one end they put a pig and from the other end of the factory a salami comes out. The local guy tries to be smart asking:

\- And is it possible the other w...

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What is the Hip-hop industry's favourite sex toy?

Beads by Dre.

Train operator

Before I was in the service industry I was a train operator. One day my boss told me I was a terrible train operator and asked how many trains I derailed.

I wasn't sure, it's hard to keep track.

A very cheap widow goes to a newspaper industry to write a eulogy for her late husband

"Alright," says the newspaper guy. "I'm sorry for your loss. It'll be one dollar per word."

The widow clutches her heart in shock, then says, "Fine. 'Husband died'."

"Sorry, ma'am, but the eulogy has to be a minimum of five words."

The woman sighs in exasperation and replies, "F...

Have you noticed the fast food is tastier lately?

Because the food industry workers are finally washing their hands!

What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?

Popcorn

I applied for a job in the adult industry once

But I couldn't find a good position.

The cheese industry is led by an illusive, secret cabal

They're called the Hallouminati

There are two rules to remember in the entertainment industry.

The first is to always leave the audience wanting more. And the second

Did you hear about the growing origami industry?

Their business is in-CREASING!

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Each president has subconsciously affected the porn industry in various ways [NSFW]

During the Clinton era, infidelity and work place scenarios became really popular.

During the Bush years, the demand for "dumb blonde" types hit an all time high.

During Obama's presidency, the interracial genre took off.

And recently, incest porn has become really popular.

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Pornhub has managed to take over the adult video industry...

And they've done it single-handedly!

I tried to invest in the gravy industry

But there wasn't much stock in it.

My friend decided to start an industry selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets have been going through the roof.

TIL about a ground breaking invention that's shaking the construction industry

It's called the jackhammer

Delta airlines is probably chomping at the bit to get into the commercial space travel industry

After all

In space no one can hear you scream

Why does America have the best movie industry in the world?

In the rest of the world, all the best actors play soccer.

I killed the glove industry

With my bare hands

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I got turned down from my job interview for coming half an hour early

The porn industry can go fuck themselves for all I care.

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What does Disney and the porn industry have in common?

They both hire adults that look like teenagers.

Worker- Can I get a raise? Boss- Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment.

Worker- I don't get it !

Boss- That's right.

Now that Marijuana is legal in Canada, I decided to get job in the industry.

So far it's a pretty kushy place to work.

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The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

Soon enough, Apple will make the brilliant move of following a big trend in the gaming industry...

..."remastering" the ORIGINAL iPhone rather than releasing a new model.

If you want a job in thr moisturizer industry, the best advice i can give you is...

To apply daily.

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Karl Marx had a lesser known brother in the scat porn industry. His name?

Skid Marx.

Never Invest in the Velcro industry.

Its a complete ripoff

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If a lawyer is defending the porn industry in court...

...are they doing pro boner legal work?

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I'm gonna start a secret porn industry and call it..

"the Illuminaughty"

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I heard a rumor about the fertilizer industry.

Apparently, it's a very shitty buisness.

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A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school.

A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school. After graduating he took a job in a dentist office. One day a familiar looking woman arrived for a cleaning. Upon examination, he couldn’t help but notice her extremely white teeth. Suddenly he realized how h...

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People always dismiss the porn industry...

Work is fucking hard.

The beauty industry:

For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen


For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow

I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry...

The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."

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An entire industry has just collapsed

Virgin coconut oil is no more a thing.

Did you hear about the Dwarf Chernobyl survivor that went on to become a pop singer?

They're currently making microwaves in the industry.

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One day I'd like to donate to the porn industry for all the free porn I've watched.

They've gotten me through some hard times.

Why did the farmer invest in horses?

He heard it was a stable industry

I used to want to be a mortician,

but I decided not to when I got some grave advice it was a dying industry.

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How is the porn industry different from every other career?

It's the only job where you have to stay late if you come early.

My daughter's got an interview for a job working in the adult entertainment industry today…

I hope she blows it…

The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change

In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow.

How can you tell if someone is new to working in the restaurant industry?

They're washing their hands.

Why is success in the shaving industry so difficult?

Razor thin margins.

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The sex toy industry could make millions during the holidays...

If they had a drive called "Toys for Twats."

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

What is the Israeli film industry called?

Is-reel.

My parents were in the iron and steel industry...

My mother had to iron and my father had to steal.

A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.

"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats...

Donald Trump announced plans to stop subsidizing the corn industry

He's making America grain again.

I invented a new type of car...

Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"


My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"


Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."

How can I invest in the Mexican airline industry?

Call me crazy but once this wall goes up I’ve got a gut-feeling I think that’s one industry that will really be taking off.

The Chinese government finally says "Free Hong Kong"*

*With purchase of an American industry of equal or greater value.

So batman's son got into the rap industry

.. They call him Lil' Wayne

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I used to work in a recording studio. My boss always told me the three biggest lies in the music industry are ......

1: The check's in the mail.
2: We can fix it in post.
3: Don't worry, I won't cum in your mouth.

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Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

Millenials are Killing the Coat Hanger Industry

more than half of them support legal abortions.

I finally asked Stacey to prom!!!

She was my neighbor for years and it took me months of planning and going back and forth to ask her out. My friend Richy thought if i was this nervous i shouldn’t ask her our, but when i finally did she said yes

When we got to the dance i introduced her to Richy and my other friends who went ...

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