Did you hear about the growing origami industry?

Their business is in-CREASING!

TIL about a ground breaking invention that's shaking the construction industry

It's called the jackhammer

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Pornhub has managed to take over the adult video industry...

And they've done it single-handedly!

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I got turned down from my job interview for coming half an hour early

The porn industry can go fuck themselves for all I care.

There are some pretty big rumors about the wine industry.

I heard it through the grapevine.

If you want a job in thr moisturizer industry, the best advice i can give you is...

To apply daily.

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As a female trying to break into the music industry I am often asked how I will know I have 'made it'. I figure it's when I'm invited to come on something like Saturday Night Live...

or John Mayer

There are two rules to remember in the entertainment industry.

The first is to always leave the audience wanting more. And the second

My friend decided to start an industry selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets have been going through the roof.

Now that Marijuana is legal in Canada, I decided to get job in the industry.

So far it's a pretty kushy place to work.

What starts with P, ends with Orn, and is important in the film industry?

Popcorn

Delta airlines is probably chomping at the bit to get into the commercial space travel industry

After all

In space no one can hear you scream

Why does America have the best movie industry in the world?

In the rest of the world, all the best actors play soccer.

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If a lawyer is defending the porn industry in court...

...are they doing pro boner legal work?

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People always dismiss the porn industry...

Work is fucking hard.

Soon enough, Apple will make the brilliant move of following a big trend in the gaming industry...

..."remastering" the ORIGINAL iPhone rather than releasing a new model.

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Each president has subconsciously affected the porn industry in various ways [NSFW]

During the Clinton era, infidelity and work place scenarios became really popular.

During the Bush years, the demand for "dumb blonde" types hit an all time high.

During Obama's presidency, the interracial genre took off.

And recently, incest porn has become really popular.

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I'm gonna start a secret porn industry and call it..

"the Illuminaughty"

I killed the glove industry

With my bare hands

Did you hear about the guy who has monopoly on the chicken industry?

He's a real chick magnate

Never Invest in the Velcro industry.

Its a complete ripoff

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A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school.

A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school. After graduating he took a job in a dentist office. One day a familiar looking woman arrived for a cleaning. Upon examination, he couldn’t help but notice her extremely white teeth. Suddenly he realized how h...

An oregano farmer recently lost a high profile court case and was ordered to pay 20 million dollars. However the spices industry had been on a steady decline so he didn’t have that kind of money on hand.

Needless to say his wages were garnished

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I heard a rumor about the fertilizer industry.

Apparently, it's a very shitty buisness.

An entire industry has just collapsed

Virgin coconut oil is no more a thing.

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The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

How can you tell if someone is new to working in the restaurant industry?

They're washing their hands.

The beauty industry:

For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen


For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow

I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry...

The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."

Why don't women work at the post office?

It's a mail dominated industry.

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What does Disney and the porn industry have in common?

They both hire adults that look like teenagers.

Growing up in the film industry, Harvey Weinstein was a huge influence for me.

He really touched me.

What is the Israeli film industry called?

Is-reel.

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Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

Why is success in the shaving industry so difficult?

Razor thin margins.

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There's plenty of jobs in the porn industry when you have a dick like mine.

Camera man, light and sound technician.

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The sex toy industry could make millions during the holidays...

If they had a drive called "Toys for Twats."

I really thought the boomerang industry was dead...

But it seems to be making some sort of a comeback.

My daughter's got an interview for a job working in the adult entertainment industry today…

I hope she blows it…

Millenials are Killing the Coat Hanger Industry

more than half of them support legal abortions.

Piracy is killing the music industry

I mean, have you tried playing guitar with a hook?

The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change

In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow.

How can I invest in the Mexican airline industry?

Call me crazy but once this wall goes up I’ve got a gut-feeling I think that’s one industry that will really be taking off.

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One day I'd like to donate to the porn industry for all the free porn I've watched.

They've gotten me through some hard times.

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Famous people answer the ubiquitous question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

**TEACHER**: To get to the other side.


**PLATO**: For the greater good.


**ARISTOTLE**: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.


**SOCRATES**: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road?


**HIPPOCRATES**: Because of an excess of phlegm in i...

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I used to work in a recording studio. My boss always told me the three biggest lies in the music industry are ......

1: The check's in the mail.
2: We can fix it in post.
3: Don't worry, I won't cum in your mouth.

President Trump to sign an executive action taking aim at Sun Maid and California's Raisin industry

He answered most of the criticism over the weekend by stating

"I would like to make raisins Grape again"

My parents were in the iron and steel industry...

My mother had to iron and my father had to steal.

How is the tourism industry doing in Baghdad?

Boomin'.

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He's getting the job . . All the jobs . .

Employer: What makes you think you are qualified to work in the Porn Industry . .

Man: I'm always hard at work.

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.


Henry was curious and invited them into his office.


...

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How is the porn industry different from every other career?

It's the only job where you have to stay late if you come early.

Why is the marijuana industry so successful right now?

Cause it's full of high achievers.

This is a tense election for the sliced cheese industry.

Trump wants to make America Grate again

What did the cow say about the beef industry?

I've got some steak in it.

You know what they say in the tire industry?

Have a good year!

Why don't many buddhists work in the railroad industry?

they have too many ohms to be good conductors.

What do you call the richest person in the soup industry?

A boullionaire

So batman's son got into the rap industry

.. They call him Lil' Wayne

How many republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Wait, hold on, how do we know it's not supposed to be that way? We've only been looking at that bulb for 2 years, and the scientists who say we need to replace it are probably working for the light bulb industry. Also, yesterday it was on! Why do we need to do anything if it's different day to da...

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What title do a sandwich and an occupation in the porn industry share?

The Fluffernutter.

Have you heard about the airplane industry?

Its really taking off and reaching new heights.

Mick Jagger was awarded for his lifetime achievement in music industry for over 55 years.

He didn't have a date to the ceremony so Kate Moss, who was a huge fan of Mick, volunteered to be with him for the night. It was decided that he'll pick her up from her hotel. On the evening of the ceremony Mick didn't pick her up and went straight to the ceremony alone.


Apparently a rol...

Really sad news from the entertainment industry.

Justin Bieber was found alive in his apartment yesterday.

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I want to get into the porn industry

But the competition is really stiff.

I am an entrepreneur

\- How did you get started in this industry?

​

None of your business

We need to get into the fertilizer industry...

I hear business is booming.

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A UKIP candidate standing in local elections in Bristol has been revealed as a 40-year veteran of the porn industry.

Hardly surprising. The first thing I think when I hear, 'UKIP candidate' is always, 'enormous prick'.

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are having a philosophical debate.

The question arises: What separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."


"I disagree," announces the Italian. "...

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.


The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in rec...

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NBC President Flies Into Rage After Network Fails to Produce Industry Minimum Ten Cop Shows‏

NEW YORK - During a staff meeting this week, NBC President of Entertainment Robert Greenblatt erupted into a profanity-laced tirade when he was informed that the network's new season of prime-time dramas and comedies failed to meet The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) requ...

I got fired from my job by a jealous manager for breaking too many records.

I'm guessing that the vintage music industry is just not for me...

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Windows vs. Ford

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to ...

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Once there was a boy in Alabama who loved trains.

It was his life, he’d get his dad to take him to train shows, play with them at home, read books about them in elementary school, the works. In high school he studied and kept his GPA high so he’d be able to go for his dreams: to be a train conductor. Upon graduating high school he got accepted int...

A mercurial rocker hands out backstage passes...

A mercurial rocker of a popular band was known to give out many backstage passes. Now this happens all the time in the music industry; however this rocker always handed out the same pass to many women, and never changed it. The pass was for Tulsa OK, and he'd give out the large TULSA backstage pas...

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Gotta change that name...

A man walks into a talent agency with the hopes of being a big star. He performs an audition and the agent is just floored.

"You're the best I've seen! You're going to be in TV, movies, radio, everything! Oh but what was your name again?"

The man replies proudly "My name is Penis Von L...

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How do you know when it's time to get out of the porn industry?

When they hire you a cunt-double.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...