Diving is a dangerous industry.

It should be regulated.

More bad news for the coal industry

Hundreds of minors out of work since the arrest of Jeffery Epstein.

Did you hear that Cardi B is leaving the music industry to become a personal trainer.......?

Yeah she's changing her name to Cardi O

A very cheap widow goes to a newspaper industry to write a eulogy for her late husband

"Alright," says the newspaper guy. "I'm sorry for your loss. It'll be one dollar per word."

The widow clutches her heart in shock, then says, "Fine. 'Husband died'."

"Sorry, ma'am, but the eulogy has to be a minimum of five words."

The woman sighs in exasperation and replies, "F...

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What is the Hip-hop industry's favourite sex toy?

Beads by Dre.

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I got turned down from my job interview for coming half an hour early

The porn industry can go fuck themselves for all I care.

I tried to invest in the gravy industry

But there wasn't much stock in it.

The cheese industry is led by an illusive, secret cabal

They're called the Hallouminati

Did you hear about the growing origami industry?

Their business is in-CREASING!

What starts with P, ends with Orn, and is important in the film industry?

Popcorn

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Pornhub has managed to take over the adult video industry...

And they've done it single-handedly!

Why is calcium vital in the brass instruments manufacturing industry?

because calcium helps build trombones.

I applied for a job in the adult industry once

But I couldn't find a good position.

Delta airlines is probably chomping at the bit to get into the commercial space travel industry

After all

In space no one can hear you scream

There are some pretty big rumors about the wine industry.

I heard it through the grapevine.

Worker- Can I get a raise? Boss- Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment.

Worker- I don't get it !

Boss- That's right.

If you want a job in thr moisturizer industry, the best advice i can give you is...

To apply daily.

There are two rules to remember in the entertainment industry.

The first is to always leave the audience wanting more. And the second

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As a female trying to break into the music industry I am often asked how I will know I have 'made it'. I figure it's when I'm invited to come on something like Saturday Night Live...

or John Mayer

My friend decided to start an industry selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets have been going through the roof.

TIL about a ground breaking invention that's shaking the construction industry

It's called the jackhammer

Now that Marijuana is legal in Canada, I decided to get job in the industry.

So far it's a pretty kushy place to work.

Why does America have the best movie industry in the world?

In the rest of the world, all the best actors play soccer.

Did you hear about the guy who has monopoly on the chicken industry?

He's a real chick magnate

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Karl Marx had a lesser known brother in the scat porn industry. His name?

Skid Marx.

Soon enough, Apple will make the brilliant move of following a big trend in the gaming industry...

..."remastering" the ORIGINAL iPhone rather than releasing a new model.

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If a lawyer is defending the porn industry in court...

...are they doing pro boner legal work?

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People always dismiss the porn industry...

Work is fucking hard.

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Each president has subconsciously affected the porn industry in various ways [NSFW]

During the Clinton era, infidelity and work place scenarios became really popular.

During the Bush years, the demand for "dumb blonde" types hit an all time high.

During Obama's presidency, the interracial genre took off.

And recently, incest porn has become really popular.

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I'm gonna start a secret porn industry and call it..

"the Illuminaughty"

I killed the glove industry

With my bare hands

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An entire industry has just collapsed

Virgin coconut oil is no more a thing.

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A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school.

A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school. After graduating he took a job in a dentist office. One day a familiar looking woman arrived for a cleaning. Upon examination, he couldn’t help but notice her extremely white teeth. Suddenly he realized how h...

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The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

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I heard a rumor about the fertilizer industry.

Apparently, it's a very shitty buisness.

The beauty industry:

For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen


For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow

Never Invest in the Velcro industry.

Its a complete ripoff

An oregano farmer recently lost a high profile court case and was ordered to pay 20 million dollars. However the spices industry had been on a steady decline so he didn’t have that kind of money on hand.

Needless to say his wages were garnished

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There's plenty of jobs in the porn industry when you have a dick like mine.

Camera man, light and sound technician.

How can you tell if someone is new to working in the restaurant industry?

They're washing their hands.

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What does Disney and the porn industry have in common?

They both hire adults that look like teenagers.

I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry...

The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."

Growing up in the film industry, Harvey Weinstein was a huge influence for me.

He really touched me.

Why is success in the shaving industry so difficult?

Razor thin margins.

My daughter's got an interview for a job working in the adult entertainment industry today…

I hope she blows it…

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The sex toy industry could make millions during the holidays...

If they had a drive called "Toys for Twats."

The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change

In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow.

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One day I'd like to donate to the porn industry for all the free porn I've watched.

They've gotten me through some hard times.

Piracy is killing the music industry

I mean, have you tried playing guitar with a hook?

Donald Trump announced plans to stop subsidizing the corn industry

He's making America grain again.

Millenials are Killing the Coat Hanger Industry

more than half of them support legal abortions.

A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.

"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats...

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How is the porn industry different from every other career?

It's the only job where you have to stay late if you come early.

How can I invest in the Mexican airline industry?

Call me crazy but once this wall goes up I’ve got a gut-feeling I think that’s one industry that will really be taking off.

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I used to work in a recording studio. My boss always told me the three biggest lies in the music industry are ......

1: The check's in the mail.
2: We can fix it in post.
3: Don't worry, I won't cum in your mouth.

President Trump to sign an executive action taking aim at Sun Maid and California's Raisin industry

He answered most of the criticism over the weekend by stating

"I would like to make raisins Grape again"

So batman's son got into the rap industry

.. They call him Lil' Wayne

How is the tourism industry doing in Baghdad?

Boomin'.

Why is the marijuana industry so successful right now?

Cause it's full of high achievers.

This is a tense election for the sliced cheese industry.

Trump wants to make America Grate again

My parents were in the iron and steel industry...

My mother had to iron and my father had to steal.

What do you call the richest person in the soup industry?

A boullionaire

What did the cow say about the beef industry?

I've got some steak in it.

Why don't many buddhists work in the railroad industry?

they have too many ohms to be good conductors.

I finally asked Stacey to prom!!!

She was my neighbor for years and it took me months of planning and going back and forth to ask her out. My friend Richy thought if i was this nervous i shouldn’t ask her our, but when i finally did she said yes

When we got to the dance i introduced her to Richy and my other friends who went ...

Really sad news from the entertainment industry.

Justin Bieber was found alive in his apartment yesterday.

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A man is in a job centre in north London and he sees an ad for a "Pube Shaver"

So he calls one of the assistants over and says "What's this all about?"

And the assistant says "Oh, yes. We have an opening for someone to work with movie actresses, bikini models and so on... all kinds of women in any branch of the industry where appearance is key, especially in the... *pel...

You know what they say in the tire industry?

Have a good year!

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I want to get into the porn industry

But the competition is really stiff.

Have you heard about the airplane industry?

Its really taking off and reaching new heights.

Mick Jagger was awarded for his lifetime achievement in music industry for over 55 years.

He didn't have a date to the ceremony so Kate Moss, who was a huge fan of Mick, volunteered to be with him for the night. It was decided that he'll pick her up from her hotel. On the evening of the ceremony Mick didn't pick her up and went straight to the ceremony alone.


Apparently a rol...

Here is a real life comedy story

A guy in Nepal got imprisoned when he made a review saying a movie was bad
He was accused of destroying the film industry and the career of the actors
Imagine the directors of the emoji movie knowing this

We need to get into the fertilizer industry...

I hear business is booming.

I invented a new type of car...

Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"


My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"


Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."

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There was a band conductor who also right songs in North Korea

Sorry for the typo in the title but..

His name was Pok. He was quite famous in the industry so one day, Kim Jong Un approached him.

“Pok, write me an orchestra piece and play it for me with your group”, said Kim. Pok did, after a month, the private show was held.

Sadly, it was s...

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Windows vs. Ford

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to ...

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What title do a sandwich and an occupation in the porn industry share?

The Fluffernutter.

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NBC President Flies Into Rage After Network Fails to Produce Industry Minimum Ten Cop Shows‏

NEW YORK - During a staff meeting this week, NBC President of Entertainment Robert Greenblatt erupted into a profanity-laced tirade when he was informed that the network's new season of prime-time dramas and comedies failed to meet The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) requ...

Binghamton University's Athletic Director compared the mens basketball team to a zoo. The Binghamton Zoo responded with the following letter:

I am tired of hearing that blight on Binghamton University, the men's basketball team, being referred to as a "zoo." The Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park has just received re-accreditation by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the industry's governing authority. We achieved this status by being in th...

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A UKIP candidate standing in local elections in Bristol has been revealed as a 40-year veteran of the porn industry.

Hardly surprising. The first thing I think when I hear, 'UKIP candidate' is always, 'enormous prick'.

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Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

Why don't women work at the post office?

It's a mail dominated industry.

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