This shutdown is bad for everyone in the service industry, but it especially sucks for men

We're losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing

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The porn industry is one step away from incest

“Step”

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The plastic surgery industry seems to neglect the market for middle aged dangling balls

Seems like low hanging fruit.

The joke industry has been hit particularly hard by Covid

Nobody has walked into a bar in months.

What begins with "p", ends with "orn" and is popular in the movie industry?

Popcorn.

What is the busiest industry in the World?

Funeral Directors.

And they say it's a dying trade?

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The porn industry introduces its own virtual currency.

Clitcoin.

I heard they want to subvert the culture of the mining industry by phasing out the word 'mine'

They want to call it an ore well.

My nickname in the adult film industry used to be Tri-Pod..

I was the best camera man they ever had

The crematorium industry is super competitive

You gotta urn your keep

Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine.

Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine

How many Republican does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twelve to investigate Obama’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry and 51 to pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.

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This joke got me fired when I worked as a cook. Credit goes to Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling

A husband goes to his wife and says “You’re either going hunting with me, sucking my cock or I’m fucking you in the ass. I’m gonna go get the dogs ready and I’ll be back for your answer.”

After a bit of time, he returns to his wife who defiantly says to him “I’m not going hunting and there’s...

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It's crazy how sexist the postal service is.

I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry.

Why is lipstick losing market share in the makeup industry?

Because we live in a mask era.

How does the pandemic affect the rental car industry?

It Hertz.

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During this crisis, the government is trying to find a way to help the sex worker industry.

The only problem is that they can't work out what to name the help without using the words *relief*, *stimulus* or *package*

The artist named “Feat” has a monopoly on the music industry and should be tracked down.

Every time I see a song, Feat is always on it. This is too suspicious, and must mean he has a monopoly on the recording industry. Maybe he has parents with connections, maybe he is holding someone hostage, or maybe it is something much worse. What is apparent though, is that he is definitely breakin...

How do you make a small fortune in the rocket industry?

By using a trampoline.

The Goldberg Brothers - Are well known as the Inventors of the automobile Air Conditioner.

Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 

The four brothers walked...

I recently started a recruitment agency that only deals with the underground mining industry.

It's called, Staff It Where The Sun Don't Shine.

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There's plenty of jobs in the porn industry when you have a cock like mine.

Camera man, light and sound technician, make up artist, or even production manager.

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How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

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COVID has brought the Stand-Up industry to a screeching halt,

but I once had to quit doing porn when I got HPV, so this isn't the first time a virus has prevented me from pursuing my dreams.

Do you know why the ketchup industry is thriving in Germany this year?

Heinz' zeit is 2020

What are the people involved in the beef industry called?

Steak-holders.

For 2020 reddit is committing to being the most environmentally friendly company in the tech industry.

They are committing to 100% recycled content.

I invented a device to disrupt the watchmaking industry. I emailed a proposition to a French watchmaker. Their response?

Seiko Killer? Qu'est-ce que c'est?

What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?

Popcorn

As a member of the dairy industry we're in quite a hard spot today after Joaquin Phoenix's Oscar speech

I mean when he goes missing do we put his picture on our cartons?

I accidentally swallowed some poison last night, and I had the strangest hallucination.

I was looking out of my window, and a group of former athletes walked by. Baseball players Don Mattingly, Pete Rose, and Ray Knight we’re talking with Konrad Dorn, an Austrian hockey player. Football superstars Troy Aikman and Emmett Smith were carrying guitars.

Next, a group of men from the ...

what do you get when you combine role playing and the hotel industry?

Air D&D

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I failed to get into the male pornstar industry

Apparently I have shortcomings

As an employee in the health care industry, I make it a point to keep up with all the latest medical news. Just the other day I read about a man who had the entire left side of his body amputated.

After that, he was alright.

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I think I'd do well in the porn industry

I'm an incredibly hard worker

The con artist industry must not be doing well.

They’re always asking for money

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishme

...are debating philosophy. The question arises over the course of their debates: what separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the heights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us fro...

Diving is a dangerous industry.

It should be regulated.

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What would your thoughts be if your significant other wanted to work in the adult industry?

I would like to see her try to make a living out of having sex two times a year.

Why is calcium vital in the brass instrument manufacturing industry?

Because calcium helps build trombones

My dad won the industry award for best surgical oncologist.

They said his mastectomy work was breastaking.

What do you call a Israeli Man that works in the Beer making industry?

Hebrew

A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the sporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the gents when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal...

The mining industry wants to put out a radio advert to help with recruitment. They hire a jingle writer, and he asks them what key he should write it in.

They said: "B minor".

I know an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry.

He mined his own business.

Piracy is killing the music industry...

You try playing a guitar with a hook.

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The porn industry should really invest more to virgin porn

I believe there is alot of untapped potential there.

Two guys are in a meeting at work

The first guy says "Hey I think we should stop testing our products on animals."



The second guy tells him "look, I know it sucks but animal testing is an unfortunate necessity in saving human lives - look at the pharmaceutical industry.



The first guy goes "yeah, but we ...

My dentist has the inside of his whole building covered in posters of teeth, gums, toothbrushes etc.

God was i relieved to see that its not industry standard when I took my wife to the gynaecologist...

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A struggling rock band...

A struggling indies band from Brooklyn, The Spoonerists, was in the process of recording their debut album. The artistic sentiment of the group led them to use ambient sounds from nature in their arrangements. One of the members of the band took it upon himself to go out in to the field and make rec...

The frisbee industry will probably die one day...

...but boomerangs, those will always make a comeback.

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Each president has subconsciously affected the porn industry in various ways [NSFW]

During the Clinton era, infidelity and work place scenarios became really popular.

During the Bush years, the demand for "dumb blonde" types hit an all time high.

During Obama's presidency, the interracial genre took off.

And recently, incest porn has become really popular.

More bad news for the coal industry

Hundreds of minors out of work since the arrest of Jeffery Epstein.

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What is the Hip-hop industry's favourite sex toy?

Beads by Dre.

There are two rules to remember in the entertainment industry.

The first is to always leave the audience wanting more. And the second

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A local expert from the food industry goes on a knowledge exchange trip to Japan

He is visiting a fully automated factory for salami. There is a japanese personnel from the factory that leads the tour and shows how from one end they put a pig and from the other end of the factory a salami comes out. The local guy tries to be smart asking:

\- And is it possible the other w...

I applied for a job in the adult industry once

But I couldn't find a good position.

A very cheap widow goes to a newspaper industry to write a eulogy for her late husband

"Alright," says the newspaper guy. "I'm sorry for your loss. It'll be one dollar per word."

The widow clutches her heart in shock, then says, "Fine. 'Husband died'."

"Sorry, ma'am, but the eulogy has to be a minimum of five words."

The woman sighs in exasperation and replies, "F...

The cheese industry is led by an illusive, secret cabal

They're called the Hallouminati

Did you hear about the growing origami industry?

Their business is in-CREASING!

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Pornhub has managed to take over the adult video industry...

And they've done it single-handedly!

My friend decided to start an industry selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets have been going through the roof.

I killed the glove industry

With my bare hands

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What does Disney and the porn industry have in common?

They both hire adults that look like teenagers.

Breaking news!

Corona Virus claims a black belt. Chuck Norris, Dead at 80.

Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris, famous actor and fighter, died yesterday afternoon at his home in Northwood Hills, TX at the age of 80.

Chuck Starred in dozens of movies and Tv series which have, and continue to entertain millions ...

Why does America have the best movie industry in the world?

In the rest of the world, all the best actors play soccer.

I tried to invest in the gravy industry

But there wasn't much stock in it.

TIL about a ground breaking invention that's shaking the construction industry

It's called the jackhammer

Delta airlines is probably chomping at the bit to get into the commercial space travel industry

After all

In space no one can hear you scream

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The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

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I got turned down from my job interview for coming half an hour early

The porn industry can go fuck themselves for all I care.

I just lost my job manufacturing children’s playground aparatus

This industry is all swings and roundabouts

If you want a job in thr moisturizer industry, the best advice i can give you is...

To apply daily.

Never Invest in the Velcro industry.

Its a complete ripoff

Soon enough, Apple will make the brilliant move of following a big trend in the gaming industry...

..."remastering" the ORIGINAL iPhone rather than releasing a new model.

Now that Marijuana is legal in Canada, I decided to get job in the industry.

So far it's a pretty kushy place to work.

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I heard a rumor about the fertilizer industry.

Apparently, it's a very shitty buisness.

Worker- Can I get a raise? Boss- Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment.

Worker- I don't get it !

Boss- That's right.

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I'm gonna start a secret porn industry and call it..

"the Illuminaughty"

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If a lawyer is defending the porn industry in court...

...are they doing pro boner legal work?

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A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school.

A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school. After graduating he took a job in a dentist office. One day a familiar looking woman arrived for a cleaning. Upon examination, he couldn’t help but notice her extremely white teeth. Suddenly he realized how h...

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How is the porn industry different from every other career?

It's the only job where you have to stay late if you come early.

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People always dismiss the porn industry...

Work is fucking hard.

The beauty industry:

For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen


For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow

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One day I'd like to donate to the porn industry for all the free porn I've watched.

They've gotten me through some hard times.

The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change

In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow.

I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry...

The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."

My daughter's got an interview for a job working in the adult entertainment industry today…

I hope she blows it…

Train operator

Before I was in the service industry I was a train operator. One day my boss told me I was a terrible train operator and asked how many trains I derailed.

I wasn't sure, it's hard to keep track.

Why is success in the shaving industry so difficult?

Razor thin margins.

How can I invest in the Mexican airline industry?

Call me crazy but once this wall goes up I’ve got a gut-feeling I think that’s one industry that will really be taking off.

My parents were in the iron and steel industry...

My mother had to iron and my father had to steal.

What is the Israeli film industry called?

Is-reel.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

Donald Trump announced plans to stop subsidizing the corn industry

He's making America grain again.

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