Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine.

Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine

I've invested all my money into the honey industry.

Hope it goes well, cause I don't have a plan B.

What are the people involved in the beef industry called?

Steak-holders.

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How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

As a member of the dairy industry we're in quite a hard spot today after Joaquin Phoenix's Oscar speech

I mean when he goes missing do we put his picture on our cartons?

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(NSFW) How does the porn industry battle incest?

Step by step

For 2020 reddit is committing to being the most environmentally friendly company in the tech industry.

They are committing to 100% recycled content.

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There's plenty of jobs in the porn industry when you have a cock like mine.

Camera man, light and sound technician, make up artist, or even production manager.

what do you get when you combine role playing and the hotel industry?

Air D&D

I invented a device to disrupt the watchmaking industry. I emailed a proposition to a French watchmaker. Their response?

Seiko Killer? Qu'est-ce que c'est?

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I failed to get into the male pornstar industry

Apparently I have shortcomings

The con artist industry must not be doing well.

They’re always asking for money

As an employee in the health care industry, I make it a point to keep up with all the latest medical news. Just the other day I read about a man who had the entire left side of his body amputated.

After that, he was alright.

What do you call a Israeli Man that works in the Beer making industry?

Hebrew

A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the sporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the gents when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal...

Why is calcium vital in the brass instrument manufacturing industry?

Because calcium helps build trombones

My dad won the industry award for best surgical oncologist.

They said his mastectomy work was breastaking.

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What would your thoughts be if your significant other wanted to work in the adult industry?

I would like to see her try to make a living out of having sex two times a year.

The mining industry wants to put out a radio advert to help with recruitment. They hire a jingle writer, and he asks them what key he should write it in.

They said: "B minor".

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The porn industry should really invest more to virgin porn

I believe there is alot of untapped potential there.

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I think I'd do well in the porn industry

I'm an incredibly hard worker

I know an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry.

He mined his own business.

Piracy is killing the music industry...

You try playing a guitar with a hook.

Diving is a dangerous industry.

It should be regulated.

The frisbee industry will probably die one day...

...but boomerangs, those will always make a comeback.

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A local expert from the food industry goes on a knowledge exchange trip to Japan

He is visiting a fully automated factory for salami. There is a japanese personnel from the factory that leads the tour and shows how from one end they put a pig and from the other end of the factory a salami comes out. The local guy tries to be smart asking:

\- And is it possible the other w...

What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?

Popcorn

More bad news for the coal industry

Hundreds of minors out of work since the arrest of Jeffery Epstein.

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What is the Hip-hop industry's favourite sex toy?

Beads by Dre.

A very cheap widow goes to a newspaper industry to write a eulogy for her late husband

"Alright," says the newspaper guy. "I'm sorry for your loss. It'll be one dollar per word."

The widow clutches her heart in shock, then says, "Fine. 'Husband died'."

"Sorry, ma'am, but the eulogy has to be a minimum of five words."

The woman sighs in exasperation and replies, "F...

I applied for a job in the adult industry once

But I couldn't find a good position.

The cheese industry is led by an illusive, secret cabal

They're called the Hallouminati

Did you hear about the growing origami industry?

Their business is in-CREASING!

I tried to invest in the gravy industry

But there wasn't much stock in it.

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Pornhub has managed to take over the adult video industry...

And they've done it single-handedly!

There are two rules to remember in the entertainment industry.

The first is to always leave the audience wanting more. And the second

TIL about a ground breaking invention that's shaking the construction industry

It's called the jackhammer

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Each president has subconsciously affected the porn industry in various ways [NSFW]

During the Clinton era, infidelity and work place scenarios became really popular.

During the Bush years, the demand for "dumb blonde" types hit an all time high.

During Obama's presidency, the interracial genre took off.

And recently, incest porn has become really popular.

My friend decided to start an industry selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets have been going through the roof.

Delta airlines is probably chomping at the bit to get into the commercial space travel industry

After all

In space no one can hear you scream

Worker- Can I get a raise? Boss- Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment.

Worker- I don't get it !

Boss- That's right.

If you want a job in thr moisturizer industry, the best advice i can give you is...

To apply daily.

Why does America have the best movie industry in the world?

In the rest of the world, all the best actors play soccer.

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As a female trying to break into the music industry I am often asked how I will know I have 'made it'. I figure it's when I'm invited to come on something like Saturday Night Live...

or John Mayer

Did you hear about the Dwarf Chernobyl survivor that went on to become a pop singer?

They're currently making microwaves in the industry.

I used to want to be a mortician,

but I decided not to when I got some grave advice it was a dying industry.

Why did the farmer invest in horses?

He heard it was a stable industry

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I got turned down from my job interview for coming half an hour early

The porn industry can go fuck themselves for all I care.

I killed the glove industry

With my bare hands

Now that Marijuana is legal in Canada, I decided to get job in the industry.

So far it's a pretty kushy place to work.

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Karl Marx had a lesser known brother in the scat porn industry. His name?

Skid Marx.

Soon enough, Apple will make the brilliant move of following a big trend in the gaming industry...

..."remastering" the ORIGINAL iPhone rather than releasing a new model.

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The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

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If a lawyer is defending the porn industry in court...

...are they doing pro boner legal work?

Never Invest in the Velcro industry.

Its a complete ripoff

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What does Disney and the porn industry have in common?

They both hire adults that look like teenagers.

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An entire industry has just collapsed

Virgin coconut oil is no more a thing.

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I'm gonna start a secret porn industry and call it..

"the Illuminaughty"

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People always dismiss the porn industry...

Work is fucking hard.

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I heard a rumor about the fertilizer industry.

Apparently, it's a very shitty buisness.

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A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school.

A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school. After graduating he took a job in a dentist office. One day a familiar looking woman arrived for a cleaning. Upon examination, he couldn’t help but notice her extremely white teeth. Suddenly he realized how h...

The Chinese government finally says "Free Hong Kong"*

*With purchase of an American industry of equal or greater value.

The beauty industry:

For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen


For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow

A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.

"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats...

I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry...

The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."

How can you tell if someone is new to working in the restaurant industry?

They're washing their hands.

I invented a new type of car...

Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"


My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"


Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."

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One day I'd like to donate to the porn industry for all the free porn I've watched.

They've gotten me through some hard times.

My daughter's got an interview for a job working in the adult entertainment industry today…

I hope she blows it…

Why is success in the shaving industry so difficult?

Razor thin margins.

The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change

In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

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How is the porn industry different from every other career?

It's the only job where you have to stay late if you come early.

I finally asked Stacey to prom!!!

She was my neighbor for years and it took me months of planning and going back and forth to ask her out. My friend Richy thought if i was this nervous i shouldn’t ask her our, but when i finally did she said yes

When we got to the dance i introduced her to Richy and my other friends who went ...

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Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

What is the Israeli film industry called?

Is-reel.

How can I invest in the Mexican airline industry?

Call me crazy but once this wall goes up I’ve got a gut-feeling I think that’s one industry that will really be taking off.

Why don't women work at the post office?

It's a mail dominated industry.

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The sex toy industry could make millions during the holidays...

If they had a drive called "Toys for Twats."

Donald Trump announced plans to stop subsidizing the corn industry

He's making America grain again.

History Fact!

In the 1700s men were attracted to woman's natural scent. To stop from being accosted by too many gentlemen callers, a product was developed. Perfumey soaps applied to the clothes would remove and mask any odors. A whole new industry sprung up!

That industry? Laundry DeterGents.

My parents were in the iron and steel industry...

My mother had to iron and my father had to steal.

Millenials are Killing the Coat Hanger Industry

more than half of them support legal abortions.

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I used to work in a recording studio. My boss always told me the three biggest lies in the music industry are ......

1: The check's in the mail.
2: We can fix it in post.
3: Don't worry, I won't cum in your mouth.

So batman's son got into the rap industry

.. They call him Lil' Wayne

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are having a philosophical debate.

The question arises: What separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."


"I disagree," announces the Italian. "...

How is the tourism industry doing in Baghdad?

Boomin'.

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