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(NSFW) How does the porn industry battle incest?

Step by step

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There's plenty of jobs in the porn industry when you have a cock like mine.

Camera man, light and sound technician, make up artist, or even production manager.

A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the sporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the gents when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal...

What do you call a Israeli Man that works in the Beer making industry?

Hebrew

As an employee in the health care industry, I make it a point to keep up with all the latest medical news. Just the other day I read about a man who had the entire left side of his body amputated.

After that, he was alright.

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What would your thoughts be if your significant other wanted to work in the adult industry?

I would like to see her try to make a living out of having sex two times a year.

The mining industry wants to put out a radio advert to help with recruitment. They hire a jingle writer, and he asks them what key he should write it in.

They said: "B minor".

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I think I'd do well in the porn industry

I'm an incredibly hard worker

I know an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry.

He mined his own business.

Piracy is killing the music industry...

You try playing a guitar with a hook.

Diving is a dangerous industry.

It should be regulated.

My dad won the industry award for best surgical oncologist.

They said his mastectomy work was breastaking.

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The porn industry should really invest more to virgin porn

I believe there is alot of untapped potential there.

Why is calcium vital in the brass instrument manufacturing industry?

Because calcium helps build trombones

The frisbee industry will probably die one day...

...but boomerangs, those will always make a comeback.

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What is the Hip-hop industry's favourite sex toy?

Beads by Dre.

A very cheap widow goes to a newspaper industry to write a eulogy for her late husband

"Alright," says the newspaper guy. "I'm sorry for your loss. It'll be one dollar per word."

The widow clutches her heart in shock, then says, "Fine. 'Husband died'."

"Sorry, ma'am, but the eulogy has to be a minimum of five words."

The woman sighs in exasperation and replies, "F...

I applied for a job in the adult industry once

But I couldn't find a good position.

What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?

Popcorn

The cheese industry is led by an illusive, secret cabal

They're called the Hallouminati

I tried to invest in the gravy industry

But there wasn't much stock in it.

The Cheerio Story

They call it... the Cheerio Story

So there's this Cheerio walking down the street one day when he finds a magic lamp. He gives it a rub, and a genie popa out and says
> Mortal Cheerio, for freeing me from my prison, I shall grant you three wishes.

The cheerio thinks on this... an...

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A local expert from the food industry goes on a knowledge exchange trip to Japan

He is visiting a fully automated factory for salami. There is a japanese personnel from the factory that leads the tour and shows how from one end they put a pig and from the other end of the factory a salami comes out. The local guy tries to be smart asking:

\- And is it possible the other w...

More bad news for the coal industry

Hundreds of minors out of work since the arrest of Jeffery Epstein.

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Pornhub has managed to take over the adult video industry...

And they've done it single-handedly!

The Chinese government finally says "Free Hong Kong"*

*With purchase of an American industry of equal or greater value.

TIL about a ground breaking invention that's shaking the construction industry

It's called the jackhammer

There are two rules to remember in the entertainment industry.

The first is to always leave the audience wanting more. And the second

Delta airlines is probably chomping at the bit to get into the commercial space travel industry

After all

In space no one can hear you scream

What kind of shoes does a baker wear to work?

Shoes for crews like the rest of the food service industry...

What you thought I was gonna say loafers? On a bakers salary?!

Worker- Can I get a raise? Boss- Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment.

Worker- I don't get it !

Boss- That's right.

If you want a job in thr moisturizer industry, the best advice i can give you is...

To apply daily.

Did you hear about the growing origami industry?

Their business is in-CREASING!

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Each president has subconsciously affected the porn industry in various ways [NSFW]

During the Clinton era, infidelity and work place scenarios became really popular.

During the Bush years, the demand for "dumb blonde" types hit an all time high.

During Obama's presidency, the interracial genre took off.

And recently, incest porn has become really popular.

Why does America have the best movie industry in the world?

In the rest of the world, all the best actors play soccer.

Now that Marijuana is legal in Canada, I decided to get job in the industry.

So far it's a pretty kushy place to work.

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I got turned down from my job interview for coming half an hour early

The porn industry can go fuck themselves for all I care.

A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.

"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats...

Did you hear about the guy who has monopoly on the chicken industry?

He's a real chick magnate

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Karl Marx had a lesser known brother in the scat porn industry. His name?

Skid Marx.

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As a female trying to break into the music industry I am often asked how I will know I have 'made it'. I figure it's when I'm invited to come on something like Saturday Night Live...

or John Mayer

My friend decided to start an industry selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets have been going through the roof.

Soon enough, Apple will make the brilliant move of following a big trend in the gaming industry...

..."remastering" the ORIGINAL iPhone rather than releasing a new model.

I killed the glove industry

With my bare hands

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If a lawyer is defending the porn industry in court...

...are they doing pro boner legal work?

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The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

Never Invest in the Velcro industry.

Its a complete ripoff

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I'm gonna start a secret porn industry and call it..

"the Illuminaughty"

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People always dismiss the porn industry...

Work is fucking hard.

History Fact!

In the 1700s men were attracted to woman's natural scent. To stop from being accosted by too many gentlemen callers, a product was developed. Perfumey soaps applied to the clothes would remove and mask any odors. A whole new industry sprung up!

That industry? Laundry DeterGents.

I finally asked Stacey to prom!!!

She was my neighbor for years and it took me months of planning and going back and forth to ask her out. My friend Richy thought if i was this nervous i shouldn’t ask her our, but when i finally did she said yes

When we got to the dance i introduced her to Richy and my other friends who went ...

What is the most abused substance in the water industry?

Plumber's crack.

I invented a new type of car...

Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"


My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"


Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."

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An entire industry has just collapsed

Virgin coconut oil is no more a thing.

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A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school.

A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school. After graduating he took a job in a dentist office. One day a familiar looking woman arrived for a cleaning. Upon examination, he couldn’t help but notice her extremely white teeth. Suddenly he realized how h...

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I heard a rumor about the fertilizer industry.

Apparently, it's a very shitty buisness.

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What does Disney and the porn industry have in common?

They both hire adults that look like teenagers.

The beauty industry:

For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen


For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow

An oregano farmer recently lost a high profile court case and was ordered to pay 20 million dollars. However the spices industry had been on a steady decline so he didn’t have that kind of money on hand.

Needless to say his wages were garnished

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Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

Why don't women work at the post office?

It's a mail dominated industry.

How can you tell if someone is new to working in the restaurant industry?

They're washing their hands.

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There was a band conductor who also right songs in North Korea

Sorry for the typo in the title but..

His name was Pok. He was quite famous in the industry so one day, Kim Jong Un approached him.

“Pok, write me an orchestra piece and play it for me with your group”, said Kim. Pok did, after a month, the private show was held.

Sadly, it was s...

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

Why is success in the shaving industry so difficult?

Razor thin margins.

My daughter's got an interview for a job working in the adult entertainment industry today…

I hope she blows it…

Growing up in the film industry, Harvey Weinstein was a huge influence for me.

He really touched me.

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One day I'd like to donate to the porn industry for all the free porn I've watched.

They've gotten me through some hard times.

What is the Israeli film industry called?

Is-reel.

I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry...

The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."

The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change

In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow.

Binghamton University's Athletic Director compared the mens basketball team to a zoo. The Binghamton Zoo responded with the following letter:

I am tired of hearing that blight on Binghamton University, the men's basketball team, being referred to as a "zoo." The Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park has just received re-accreditation by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the industry's governing authority. We achieved this status by being in th...

A barber gets his first client of the day and begins cutting his hair

The barber asks the client “What do you do?”
The client responds “I’m a waiter at the Italian restaurant down the street.”

The barber says to him “You’re in the service industry, I’m in the service industry, this haircut is on me.”

The next morning, the barber comes back to his shop...

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The sex toy industry could make millions during the holidays...

If they had a drive called "Toys for Twats."

How can I invest in the Mexican airline industry?

Call me crazy but once this wall goes up I’ve got a gut-feeling I think that’s one industry that will really be taking off.

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are having a philosophical debate.

The question arises: What separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."


"I disagree," announces the Italian. "...

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How is the porn industry different from every other career?

It's the only job where you have to stay late if you come early.

Donald Trump announced plans to stop subsidizing the corn industry

He's making America grain again.

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On set, Bruce Willis suddenly feel a strong pain coming from his heart.

Without a doubt, the director cuts the scene and Bruce is rushed to the ER. Since the movie studio doesn't want to endanger their movie star they tell the hospital staff to spare no expenses and after multiple tests and scans a doctor walks into the room where Bruce is laying. He tells Bruce he has ...

So batman's son got into the rap industry

.. They call him Lil' Wayne

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.


Henry was curious and invited them into his office.


...

Millenials are Killing the Coat Hanger Industry

more than half of them support legal abortions.

How many republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Wait, hold on, how do we know it's not supposed to be that way? We've only been looking at that bulb for 2 years, and the scientists who say we need to replace it are probably working for the light bulb industry. Also, yesterday it was on! Why do we need to do anything if it's different day to da...

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I used to work in a recording studio. My boss always told me the three biggest lies in the music industry are ......

1: The check's in the mail.
2: We can fix it in post.
3: Don't worry, I won't cum in your mouth.

In the 70's my friend was a high class call girl

Her 'pimp' was movie star Michael Caine, he got her the highest profile jobs in the industry and she got to 'work' with a lot of famous people.

This particular time she was at the Isle of Wight music festival and had to go and 'service' some musicians, well she gets back stage and there they...

My parents were in the iron and steel industry...

My mother had to iron and my father had to steal.

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He's getting the job . . All the jobs . .

Employer: What makes you think you are qualified to work in the Porn Industry . .

Man: I'm always hard at work.

How is the tourism industry doing in Baghdad?

Boomin'.

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A young frustrated actor, James, was desperately looking for a role.

He had been auditioning and auditioning to no avail. At this point, after the Weinstein revelations, he was convinced that the show business industry was completely corrupt and directors and producers only cast people who were willing to do “favours” for them. 



He’d turned down a dire...

This is a tense election for the sliced cheese industry.

Trump wants to make America Grate again

What did the cow say about the beef industry?

I've got some steak in it.

Why is the marijuana industry so successful right now?

Cause it's full of high achievers.

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