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What is a porn stars favourite drink?

7-up in cider

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I asked my wife to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Babes, **Jabba the Hutt** is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck you asshole" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

Why were Star Wars 4,5,6 set before 1,2,3 ?

In charge of scheduling, Yoda was put!

John runs a booming 5-star hotel business in his town.

One day, a bald headed guy comes to his hotel and asks for Room 690 specifically.

"But sir, that room is already occupied. We could give you another room."

"I'll pay you ten times more. I need that room."

John, obviously lured by the money, gives him the room. But the bald head...

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

Why did they release Star Wars episodes 4, 5 & 6 before episodes 1, 2 & 3?

In charge of the schedule Yoda was.

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What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bi sexual Hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie watching sci-fi on wifi.

Ninja 1: Hey bud, could you throw me that little metal star?

Ninja 2: Shuriken

My brother's still single on star wars day.

Apparently he's been looking for love in Alderaan places.

My son Luke loves that we have named our children after Star Wars characters

My daughter Chewbacca not so much

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Where do porn stars buy their cucumbers?

Hole Foods

Scientists were baffled when hundreds of stars were suddenly extinguished.

Nobody saw the meteor that slammed into Hollywood.

I gave that movie 3.14 stars!

Cause I pi-rated it.

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die?

"Usually from overdose,son," I told him.

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How are riot police like male porn stars?

They don't have to shoot you in the face, they just want to.

Quarantined Star Wars troopers be like "I miss people"

First off all, you always miss.

What do you call an invisible Star Wars droid?

C-thru-PO

My son, while gazing up at the sky, asked me how stars die

"Usually an overdose", I said

What did the Star Wars fan with a lisp say?

May the Fourth be with you.

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I saw a Blackhole getting into a fight with a star

The star went for a punch but got sucked into the Blackhole.
I went up to it and said “Man! You’re one dense motherfucker”.

What’s a Star Wars fan’s favourite drink

Qui Gon Gin

Daddy how do stars die?

Drugs mostly

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Star Wars Episode V plot twist.

R2D2 had been trying to tell Luke that Darth Vader was his Father by saying '' Motherfucker! '' every time they saw him.
They just bleeped it out.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it's going by. As he gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Impeccable timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Fe...

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My girlfriend is a star on pornhub.

She'll kill me if she finds out.

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The worst thing about being a Japanese porn star

Is being born with pixelated genitals.

Did you hear that Disney+ is making a crossover between Star Wars and Back to the Future where the time machine is half car and half person?

It’s called the Man-DeLorean.

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A director was explaining to the porn star what her role was

“Get a load of this guy”

Since its may the 4th, I decided to watch the classic Star Wars trilogy with my girlfriend.

First time she ever saw Chewbacca, and she thought he was an Ewok... ... ...

Classic wookie mistake.

(Oldie, but never gets olde)

I left a one-star review on my local dollar store.

They didn’t sell any dollars.

A man walks into a 5-star restaurant...

A man walks into a fancy 5-star restaurant.

The host says to him: " Good evening sir. Do you have a reservation?"

The man replies : "Yes, actually."

The host asks: "Name?"

And the man replies: " Nah, the name is ok. It's just the atmosphere."

I was out camping one night just laying down in my sleeping bag and looking up at the stars wondering....

Where the hell is my tent?

What’s a place a TikTok star could go and not be noticed?

A bar

Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention

They call it the enter prize.

Shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll land among the stars is a good quote

Unless you're an astronaut.

I went to the doctor because I’ve had the Pawn Stars theme stuck in my head for two weeks

He said he’d have to call in a buddy of his who was an expert on those sorts of things

(But seriously please help me I’m going insane)

What did the throwing star say when his friend asked if he could lend a hand?

Shuriken

I'm in bed, looking up at the stars and think to myself...

"Where the hell did my ceiling go?"

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Which US President was most popular among Spanish porn stars?

L.B.J.

My neighbors listen to Smash Mouth's All Star a lot.

Whether they like it or not.

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews... Only 1 star.

how do you make a creative Star Wars joke?

you have to think outside of the jarjar

Why does Star Wars have a classical music score?

Because the Empire likes Bach!

I got into a huge fight with my husband, who was a star war fanatic.

"May divorce be with you. " he said.

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

why aren't star wars jokes popular?

.

.

.

.

they are usually quite *forced*

(just like this one)

My mother’s star sign was Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died.

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Some people really like Orion's Belt

But I think it's just a big waist of space.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is starring in a movie about musical composers.

He’ll be Bach.

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My next door neighbors are porn stars.

They just don't know it yet.

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My sex life is just like my favourite Star Wars character.

Hand Solo

It always amuses me to think what must have happened in Star Trek over the next three hundred years for a Frenchman like Picard to have an English accent...

And not an Arabic one.

A new movie is announced featuring Corona Virus as the lead star

Around the world in 80 days

I took my Wife to a marriage counsellor

She said she was sick of my Star Wars jokes.
I told the counsellor
Divorce is strong with this one.

You know that dude who played the Joker, right? He's starring in a new zombie flick.

The Joaquin Dead.

I was the fastest track star ever

But I smelled horribly as a result no one wanted to be near me.

When asked what was my secret my response was I GOT THE RUNS!

Knock knock...

Who’s there?

Hike.

Hike who?


Warm midnight falling.
Stars shining, dancing brightly.
Peaceful all at once

A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!” His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”

A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”

His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”

Her husband replied: “That’s at home, my dear. Here the chef know...

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A little boy goes shopping with his mom and is waiting outside the changing room for her to come out.

While waiting, the little boy gets bored and as his mom comes out sees him sliding his hand up a mannequins skirt. "Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?"

The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't ge...

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Hitler dies and is sent to hell.

He spends 30 earthly years there being tourtured and abused, going through worse than he even could imagine.

After this time, god calls him up for a talk, considering a pardon. He asks Hitler: "If I sent you back to earth today, what would you do?"

Hitler answers "I would load all the ...

What does your Canadian friend cooking dinner for you have in common with the Empire from Star Wars?

Pal-poutine

.
.
.
.
.
Sorry, I'll get my coat.

There's a movie called The Rock that doesn't star The Rock, but rather Nicolas Cage.

If The Rock ever stars in a movie called Cage I fear this will only grow more confusing.

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A QUEEN and a famous porn star died on the same day

when they fronted up to St Peter he told them there was only one space left for that day, and they’d have to argue their respective cases.The horizontal humper ripped off her top and said, “These are the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please him greatly to be able to gaz...

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Last night in bed, as I gazed up at the stars, I thought to myself...

Where the fuck is my roof?

I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm? I said lukewarm

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What’s the most popular Star Wars action figure in Japan?

Toy-Yoda.

What are Star Wars clone troopers muscles built of?

Kamino acids.

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An eighty-five year old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash and went to the Pearly Gates.

They had been in good health for the last ten years, mainly as a result of the wife's interest in healthy diets and exercise.

St. Peter welcomed them into Heaven and took them to their small palace in heaven- complete with a large bedroom, Jacuzzi, full kitchen, and billiards table. "How much...

Are you a star?

Cause looking at you is burning my retinas

My 6 year old son told me he wants to be tied very tightly to stars when he grows up

I asked why??


He said wants to be an Astronaut.

A girl wants movie stars faces tattooed on her thighs

So she goes to a tattoo parlor and spends hours having Christain Bale’ face tattooed on her left inner thigh and Leonardo DiCaprio’s face tattooed on her right inner thigh.

When it’s finished, she is extremely disappointed with the results, saying neither face is an accurate depiction of who...

My partner and I can never agree on vacations.

I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me.

Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans...

They always root for the away team

Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda's surname on that new Star Wars show??

I can't believe it's Layheehoo

Breaking news!

Corona Virus claims a black belt. Chuck Norris, Dead at 80.

Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris, famous actor and fighter, died yesterday afternoon at his home in Northwood Hills, TX at the age of 80.

Chuck Starred in dozens of movies and Tv series which have, and continue to entertain millions ...

When basketball stars die they don't pass away

...they cross over

RIP Mamba :(

My wife said I talk about Star Wars too much, and wants to end out relationship.

“May divorce be with you” I replied.

The outmaneuvre !

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, borin...

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NSFW - What's the best part of dating a porn star?

They're full of spunk.

Did you hear about that new threesome adult film starring a physicist?

It's called, "The Double-slit Experiment".

Friend: "I created the brightest star in the night sky."

Me: "You can't possibly B Sirius."

I try to get as many stars in Grand Theft Auto as possible.

That way for once i will feel wanted.

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A plane ditches off the coast of a deserted tropical island. The pilot, the co-pilot and a hot stewardess are the only survivors...

They start to set up camp. John, the pilot builds a hut, Jack, the co-pilot does his best in hunting and gathering, and Jane a campfire going. The eat all together, look at the stars and ponder on their new fate. After nightfall, they get into the hut, cuddle to keep warm and fall asleep.

The...

Somebody whacked my head with a telescope today

I was seeing stars

So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character

You should've seen the Luke on her face.

So my doctor told me to pick a star sign, any star sign

So I said Gemini

And he said *showing me his clipboard* well this says cancer

WARNING: STAR WARS SPOILERS

Voosh voosh pew pew pew voosh voosh pew pew voosh force choke voosh pew pew pew

I visited a load of French towns doing impressions of Star Trek characters.

Dunkirk?

Yea, did all of them.

Why are most solar systems bad business partners?

Most are rated one star and even the best only have three.

What do you call Rats that live on a star?

Palindrome.

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Jews can’t handle positive reinforcement

In school they tried giving me a gold star. No way was I falling for that again.

Gary Oldman has had to drastically change his appearance to star in a biopic about one Britain's electronic music pioneers.

Guess he's going to be a Gary Numan.

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As a Fortune 500 company CEO, I never thought I'd hire a former porn star.

But I can tell this girl has a lot of spunk in her.

What do you call someone who tells you that you must see the new Star Wars series?

A Mandatorian

You know Orion’s belt?

Waist of space.

I know, I know, not a great joke.

Three stars.

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A little Texas joke

A young man in Oklahoma turns 21. Excited, he tells his father, “I want to finally go to Texas.”

His father warns, “Scooter, you’re a full-grown man, now. I can’t stop you from going to Texas. But I have to warn you… **EVERYTHING IS BIG IN TEXAS!** You can’t be prepared for how absolutely hug...

Before becoming Pop stars, the Bee Gees used to be professional chefs.

You could tell by the way they used their wok.

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My girlfriend's a porn star

And she's going to be really pissed when she finds out

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