Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?

In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

My neighbors listen to Smash Mouth's All Star a lot.

Whether they like it or not.

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Why was the porn star’s funeral so disappointing?

Nobody came

Can a ninja kill someone with a throwing star?

Shuriken.

So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character

You should've seen the Luke on her face.

Who's the Death Star's greatest country singer?

Darth Brooks.

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My mom and dad are stars on pornhub.

Can't wait to see their faces when they find out.

A Star Trek fan meets William Shatner.

"Wow. I can't believe I'm meeting you at Comic Corn."

"Actually, it's called Comic Con"

"Com?"

"Con."

"Cold?"

"Com!

"Cookie?"

"CONNNNNNNN!"

What’s a stoners favorite Star Wars movie?

The Hempire Strikes Back

I thought I would hate starring in a bukkake film,

but those guys really rubbed off on me.

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The other night I was lying in bed looking at the stars thinking.....

Where the fuck has my roof gone?

The police are looking for two stars of the school play who went missing.

They don’t have any leads.

I was lying in my bed, staring at the stars.

I wondered, “Where the frick is my ceiling?”

Do you know what it's called when you see the sun, the moon and the stars all at the same time?

Really good acid

Me: I'm afraid people think I'm a star

Friend - Are you serious?

Me - [screams]

Can you tell me another name for a ninja star?

Sure I can.

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What do you get when you cross Google and a porn star?

Just a fucking know it all.

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What do you call a blind male porn star?

I'd have thought the answer would be obvious.




Stiffy Wonder.

Our son Luke loves that we used Star Wars as inspiration to name our children...

His siblings R2-D2 and Chewbacca aren’t as amused

What's the best thing about memes of All Star?

They don't stop coming.

“The Irishman” stars Italian actors and I think I know why...

...the Irish actors were too hungover to make it to set on time.

My grandmother's star sign is Cancer, and last week she was sadly diagnosed with...

Crabs...

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It's easy to get stage fright as a porn star...

People are watching you, seriously hard.

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My girlfriend's a porn star

And she's going to be really pissed when she finds out

I thought I saw a shooting star but turns out it was dust on the telescope...

Turns out it was a meteor-wrong!

I just spent $100 on a limited edition DVD of Star Trek 2

Turns out the seller was a Kahn man

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My girlfriend always takes really long showers after watching movies starring chris pratt

I dont know what shes doing in there but it gives me plenty of time to jerk off to chris pratt

My son (who is into astronomy) asked me “How do stars die?”

Being the intellectual I am I replied “Usually through an overdose”

All the movies I watch have 3.14 stars

They're all pi-rated

[Short Joke] Why is the Star Lord so reckless?

Because he has no Ego

Why does Star Platinum make the best psychic?

He can sense people’s oras.

A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant.

When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”

His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”

Her husband replied: “That’s at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook…”

I learned that Chernobyl Nuclear Plant has a 4.1 star rating on Google.

Apparently it would be more, but people ran out of fingers.

Why didn’t aliens visit our Solar system yet?

Because they saw the reviews and it only had one star.

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What do porn-stars and criminals have in common?

They very rarely come quietly

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I asked my wife to dress as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

My girlfriend is like a star.

Far away and dying.

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My porn star friend passed away the other day and as a show of respect, we scattered his ashes...

...all over his wife's face.

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What do you call a porn that stars only girls with Down Syndrome?

XXX

Star Signs

The Doctor walks in,

Patient: Hey doc, whats the news?

Doctor: I was wondering what's your star sign?

Patient: Cancer, why?

Doctor: Funny that.

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What's the title of the porno starring Julius Caesar?

I saw, I conquered, I came

When it started raining my girlfriend couldn’t help starring intently through the window.

I didn’t care though i wasn’t going to let her in.

My Star Wars obsessed son wouldn't stop asking for a car.

So I bought him a toy Yoda.

A star walks into a black hole

But the star doesn't seem to be fazed.

The black hole says, "Sir, I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation."

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What's the difference between an analyst and a porn star?

Beats me, but I applied for them both. Wish me luck!

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Being a Male porn star is hard...

...there's a lot of stiff competition.

An Australian was taking his girlfriend out for a night of passion under the stars.....

....when she was stung between the legs by a giant hornet. In a panic he wasn’t sure what to do so he rang the Australian Emergency Medical Helpline.... “Hello, I’m takin’ me Shiela out for a romantic night of camping and she’s just been stung by a hornet on her privates...and it’s all swollen and ...

I heard a rumour there is a remake of Brokeback mountain in the works starring women

On the one hand im sick of all these remakes, on the other hand...
Will be lotion.

How different military branches use stars

The Army sleeps under the stars

The Navy navigates by the stars

And the Airforce choose hotels by the stars

Whaddya use to decide whether to host a Star Trek poetry event?

A list of prose in Khans.

An antelope and a lion are star crossed lovers

One day, the antelope decides they should take it to the next level

Antelope: let's run away and get married, Lion!

Lion: I cantaloupe

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What does the universe's largest known star VY Canis Majoris & a Labia Majora have in common?

They both lead to black holes

The caretaker of a generation ship was on his death bed

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent...

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A dude walks into a restaurant and says,

"Where's the fucking manager you cock-sucker?"

The host is surprised and replies, "Excuse me, but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can."

The manager comes over and the dude asks, "Are you the fucking manager of thi...

An illiterate dad and his son who has a PhD in astrology went camping.

They unpacked and set up their tent. After dinner they went to sleep. A few hours later dad woke and was looking at the stars.

He woke his son up and asked him, "what do you see?"

He son said, "astronomically, it tells you that there are a lot of galaxies out there,"

His father...

Why did the restaurant on the moon only get a three star review?

The food was great but there was no atmosphere

A Star Wars story...

*In another dimension*

Darth Vader just killed Anakin.

Obi-Wan came in and said: 'Are you serious?'

Darth Vader replied: 'Nah man I'm just choking'

I walked into the doctors office and he said "pick a star sign any star sign" I said umm Capricorn

He no you got Cancer

Did you hear about the Trekkie who was trying to pick up girls at a Star Wars convention?

He was looking for love in Alderaan places

Did you ever realize that they never say Yoda's last name in any Star Wars movie?

Its Leyheehoo.

What do you call a communist star?

A red giant.

A Star Trek forum exists where Trekkies can debate additions to the universe's lore.

It's called Prose and Khans.

What are the similarities between playing GTA and being jewish?

You get chased after just one star

If I had a star for every time r/Jokes brightened my day,

I'd have a galaxy in my hand.

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How did the male porn star describe the female porn star’s beauty?

He said she had the nicest face he ever came across.

In Star Wars, what language is used to program droids?

JawaScript

What's a train's favorite Star Wars character?

Choochoobacca

In the original Star Wars Peter Mayhew once had to redo a scene because he missed his cue.

It was a Wookiee mistake

RIP Peter.

A star bingo player goes to the doctor

At one of his bingo tournaments, someone pointed out a dark spot on his neck. The bingo player was worried about this new mole growing on his body, thinking that it could be cancerous.

Bingo player: What do you think of the mole? Should i be worried?

Doctor: B9

Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher, who always yelled at him saying "you are driving me crazy, Bashir".

One day his mother went to check how he was doing at school and the t...

An extremely bright star walks into a bar.

He shines so bright he nearly blinds everyone inside.

"Are you kidding?" The bartender asks in annoyance.

"No," The star replies. "I'm Sirius."

My wife says she's leaving me because of my 'Obsession with Star Wars'

I said 'Please don't go, honey. You're the Obi-Wan for me..............'

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I just got a job offer as a PORN STAR, and they demanded that I do a scene without even going through an STD test, of course I refused

because it was NSFW.

What language does Patrick Star speak

Leedle-ese

How did the Star Wars fan spend Valentine's Day?

Solo.

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A football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba, had so many women hanging around that he couldn’t possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked, "Bubba, just what the hell is your secret?"

Bubba replies, "Well Coach, whenever I’m about to have sex, I always whip it
out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. This numbs it and I can screw
'em forever!"

The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom. He heard his wife
in the shower. Seeing a window of oppor...

Why are nipple pasties often in the shape of stars?

To make the milky way.

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The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage

She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns.



I look at therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"



Who is the greatest Herbologist in all of the star wars universe?

Yoda, two green thumbs he has.

I told a girl that her eyes remind me of stars.

"Oh, you mean bright and shiny? :)"

"No, they're really far apart."

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What did the indifferent porn star say when she lost her cat?

Eh, fuck my pussy.

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[NSFW] A retired polish porn star moves to America with his family.

He eventually gets to old to live by himself during the days no one is there so they find him a home. His son asked him, "how are they treating you, are you enjoying it?"

"Yes!" He replied, "They treat everyone here with much respect! Tom down the hall was a doctor and they still call him Dr...

My aunt’s star sign was cancer, so it was pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Star Wars Trailer: No one is ever really gone...

"Meesa lead tha First Order to victory now, okietay?"

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The Pacific ocean has a rating of 3.5 stars on Google maps.

Who the fuck is downvoting the ocean?

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What do you call a startup male pornstar?

Up and coming.

I accidentally went to my first Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca.

Wookie mistake.

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What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?

They both travel around Uranus searching for Klingons

Arnold Schwarzenegger at the age of seventy one is to star in a new Terminator film later this year,

They have changed his catchphrase slightly though, to...

"Ah, me back."

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What do you call an Over powered Janitorial Storm Trooper at the Death Star?

A Super Duper Pooper Trooper.

What do you call a female pop star with big nipples?

Areola Grande.

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A blind porn star died yesterday from being hit in the head by a glass dildo

She didnt see it cumming

Orion's Belt, what a waist of space.

Terrible joke, only 3 stars.

My friend said he discovered the brightest star in the night sky.

There is no way he could possibly B Sirius.

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I told my wife we can have sex or go see Star Wars, she said, I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out.

But she pulled some strings and got me in.

What did Yoda say about the musical theater production that he hated?

"LAME IS."



Happy Star Wars Day.

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Say what you will about porn stars...

But they’re fucking professionals.

In the new Star Trek Picard series, how will Picard ask Dr Crusher to marry him?

"Engage!"

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The cops told me they’d arrest me if I masturbated to any porn star that wasn’t Scottish, but I did it anyway

I got off Scot-free

Think of a dark future where humanity has to take to the stars because earth is no longer inhabitable.

That's unsettling

Star gazing isn’t very fun

I’ve been doing it all afternoon and now I can’t see

Everybody is all about "May the fourth be with you" because of Star Wars.

Meanwhile people with a lisp are complaining, "you bathtardth, we've been thayin it the thame way for yearth and nobody hath ever done thit for uth!!!!"

In Star Wars Episode I, we learn (spoilers)

That Anakin Skywalker has no father, the midichlorians caused his birth.



I guess his mom was forced into it.

What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?

Bicarbonate of Yoda

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