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Dominant Jokes

Never ask a dominant woman to make you a sandwich

Because she’ll make you a sub

How can you tell if someone is a geneticist or kinky?

Ask them what the opposite of “dominant” is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the dominant allele say to the recessive allele?

No homo.

In space, two aliens are talking to each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

As a dominant I love reddit...

This place is full of subs

Xi and Biden have a bet

Xi wagers that in 100 years time China would be the dominant superpower, while Biden is confident that the USA will remain uncontested.

So after their terms ended and they reached the end of their mortal coil, they were cryogenically preserved in Switzerland and woken up in 100 years.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend told me to behave more dominant...

So I marked my belongigs.
Now she's pissed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW. Bob is complaining about his sex life..

.. to his friend Joe.

"It's so boring, just one position, in-out repeat as necessary while Jane just stares at the ceiling."

Joe strokes his chin thoughtfully and says "you need to start being dynamic, spontaneous, dominant and innovative! As soon as she comes to bed just surprise her ...

What do you call a Super Mario character who likes to be both dominant and submissive?

A Nintendo switch

After the dinosaurs died out, mammals became the dominant life form.

Unlike dinosaurs, which had scales and feathers, mammals are covered in fur.

I guess you could say things got a little bit hairy after the asteroud hit.

What gamble do English grads have to perfect to become the most dominant in their class?

The Alpha Bet.

I have the ability to tell someone's dominant hand just by looking at them

Nine times out of ten, it's right.

Did you hear about the prison that grouped its inmates based on if they were dominant or submissive?

They had the place sorted top to bottom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prostitute propositions a snowman, "I can be gentle or dominant. I can be anything you want me to be."

The snowman hands her $20 and says, "Be a snow blower."

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Two recently married men go to a drink. One of them tells he has a problem, that his new wife is too dominant in bed.

The second man tells: You are very lucky, every man would want to be in your position.

First man: You do not understand I can barely sleep 2 hours each night.

Second man: I do not see any problem with that, you are a very fortunate man.

First man: No, you still do not understan...

OC joke: How to differentiate if a person is a genetics expert or a BDSM enthusiast?

Ask them the opposite of 'dominant'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly man went into his doctor office for his yearly physical when his doctor handed him a jar and asked him for a sperm sample.

The doctor gave the man his jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow so we can get a sperm count."

The next day the 89-year-old man walked into the doctor's office and gave him the jar. However the jar was as spotless and empty as it was when the doctor gave ...

Is being a sub a recessive gene?

Sure is hell ain't a dominant one.

Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.

Because all of his genes are dominant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Most people be like.

Me : I am a human being, earths most dominant species and I will not be-

Wasp : Fuck off.


Me: OK.

So three women are sitting in the OB/GYN

One asks, "Are you expecting a boy or a girl?"

She replies, "It's definitely going to be a boy."

The other woman asks how she is so sure and she says, "My husband was on top, so his dominant masculinity means it will be a boy."

The first woman then says, "Oh gee, I suppose I'll ...

NSFW When I was in the Navy...

When I was in the Navy, there was one time when we pulled into port and were given 24 hours of leave to do whatever we wanted.

I went straight downtown and got a hooker and a room.

I told her I'd pay extra if she talked dirty to me and begged me to be dominant.

So she told me,...

Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey had kids together…

But the children were clones of Mr. Grey because he had all the dominant genes.

Scientists develop the world's most intelligent supercomputer.

After years of hard work an army of scientists, programers and mathematicians have succeeded in developing the world's most intelligent supercomputer. This computer, with enough time can answer any question. The scientists go about asking it questions which significantly impact the world. Many quest...

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The wrong hand

'Hey, what happened to your hand?'

'It got fractured, had got stuck in the car door.'

'Oh crap! But thankfully it's your left hand, had it been your dominant hand, would've become very difficult to manage.'

'Actually it WAS my right hand that was about to be stuck. But I had the...

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On a cold and snowy day Jim walks into work with a cast on his right arm...

"Why, Jim! Are you ok? How did you break your arm?" asks Steve.

"Well Steve, I slipped on some ice and fell down my front porch. As for how I'm doing? It doesn't hurt that much, but its made things really difficult." says Jim.

"Really? How so?"

"First off, I can't drive my stick...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man and the horse couldn’t agree on what to name the new planet

Despite hours of brainstorms and workshops, the man and the horse couldn’t agree on what to name the new planet.

“New Terra is the sensible choice”, said the man, exasperated.

“Don’t give me that more-evolved-than-thou horse-shit”, said the horse, “why don’t you let a non-dominant life...

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