UPJOKE
predominantsuperiorpredominatedominatingcontrollingdominancepositionprevalentdominatedominationgeneticsparamountsovereignpossessivesupreme

What do you call a Super Mario character who likes to be both dominant and submissive?

A Nintendo switch

One alien says to another, “The dominant life forms on the planet earth appear to have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons.”

The second alien replies, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”

The first alien says, “I don’t think so, they have them aimed at themselves.”

How can you tell if someone is a geneticist or kinky?

Ask them what the opposite of “dominant” is.

What gamble do English grads have to perfect to become the most dominant in their class?

The Alpha Bet.

As a dominant I love reddit...

This place is full of subs

Never ask a dominant woman to make you a sandwich

Because she’ll make you a sub

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the dominant allele say to the recessive allele?

No homo.

I have the ability to tell someone's dominant hand just by looking at them

Nine times out of ten, it's right.

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NSFW. Bob is complaining about his sex life..

.. to his friend Joe.

"It's so boring, just one position, in-out repeat as necessary while Jane just stares at the ceiling."

Joe strokes his chin thoughtfully and says "you need to start being dynamic, spontaneous, dominant and innovative! As soon as she comes to bed just surprise her ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two recently married men go to a drink. One of them tells he has a problem, that his new wife is too dominant in bed.

The second man tells: You are very lucky, every man would want to be in your position.

First man: You do not understand I can barely sleep 2 hours each night.

Second man: I do not see any problem with that, you are a very fortunate man.

First man: No, you still do not understan...

After the dinosaurs died out, mammals became the dominant life form.

Unlike dinosaurs, which had scales and feathers, mammals are covered in fur.

I guess you could say things got a little bit hairy after the asteroud hit.

Did you hear about the prison that grouped its inmates based on if they were dominant or submissive?

They had the place sorted top to bottom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prostitute propositions a snowman, "I can be gentle or dominant. I can be anything you want me to be."

The snowman hands her $20 and says, "Be a snow blower."

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An elderly man went into his doctor office for his yearly physical when his doctor handed him a jar and asked him for a sperm sample.

The doctor gave the man his jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow so we can get a sperm count."

The next day the 89-year-old man walked into the doctor's office and gave him the jar. However the jar was as spotless and empty as it was when the doctor gave ...

Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin and Boris Johnson had a near death experience together.

They met God and his closest angels, who told them that their time wasn’t up yet but that each of them could ask one question.

Biden went first. He asked "God, when will the Coronavirus pandemic end?" God made a sign to his angels. They went away and after 30 seconds they came back and whisp...

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My girlfriend told me to behave more dominant...

So I marked my belongigs.
Now she's pissed.

OC joke: How to differentiate if a person is a genetics expert or a BDSM enthusiast?

Ask them the opposite of 'dominant'

Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.

Because all of his genes are dominant.

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The man and the horse couldn’t agree on what to name the new planet

Despite hours of brainstorms and workshops, the man and the horse couldn’t agree on what to name the new planet.

“New Terra is the sensible choice”, said the man, exasperated.

“Don’t give me that more-evolved-than-thou horse-shit”, said the horse, “why don’t you let a non-dominant life...

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The thinnest wire

In the 70s there was a worldwide scientific conference and the US was the dominant country with its post-WWII scientific advancements towering over all others. Teeming with overconfidence the US team spent the entire conference heckling the Japanese delegates who were put beside them and were not as...

NSFW When I was in the Navy...

When I was in the Navy, there was one time when we pulled into port and were given 24 hours of leave to do whatever we wanted.

I went straight downtown and got a hooker and a room.

I told her I'd pay extra if she talked dirty to me and begged me to be dominant.

So she told me,...

So three women are sitting in the OB/GYN

One asks, "Are you expecting a boy or a girl?"

She replies, "It's definitely going to be a boy."

The other woman asks how she is so sure and she says, "My husband was on top, so his dominant masculinity means it will be a boy."

The first woman then says, "Oh gee, I suppose I'll ...

The Lion and the Elephant

Everybody knows that the lion is the king of the jungle. Always has been, and for generations it seemed like he always would be. One afternoon, however, after a particularly poorly received watering hole decision, the elephant had had enough.

“Lion,” he said, “I’ve been your major domo for a...

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Most people be like.

Me : I am a human being, earths most dominant species and I will not be-

Wasp : Fuck off.


Me: OK.

Is being a sub a recessive gene?

Sure is hell ain't a dominant one.

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