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Lucas Jokes

At one time, Lucas Electrics manufactured a vacuum cleaner.

It was the only product in their entire history that didn't suck.

What does George Lucas look for when rating a university’s sports program?

He makes sure there are two D2 teams.

A new study shows that 11 out of 5 people are bad at fractions.

This looks like a math joke until you find out the other 4 people are Mike, Dustin, Lucas and Will.

Why did George Lucas Cross The Road?

To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80.

Droids claim they were molested by George Lucas during filming for Star Wars...

#R2MeToo

Have you heard the song ISIS by Joyner Lucas ft Logic

The song has been really blowing up recently

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

James is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Lucas, comes in to pee. He slyly looks over and is shocked at how supersize Lucas penis is. He can’t help himself, and asks him what his secret is.

“Well,” says Lucas, “every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bed three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!”

James was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out hi...

Mom's birthday gifts

3 guys, who were brothers, were all discussing what gifts they were getting for their elderly mother for her birthday.

The first brother, named Michael, said, "I bought mom her very own Lexus and chauffeur. She was always complaining about not being able to drive well."

Jeremy, the se...

George Lucas announced that he'd like to make several changes to The Phantom Menace.

But I say let's let Qui-gons be Qui-gons.

George Takei, George Clooney, George Lucas, and George R.R. Martin decided to have a barbecue.

They named their little get-together the "George" Four-Man Grill.

2 friends meet each other. Matt is afraid, while Lycas is wet.

Lucas says: "Why are you scared?". Then Matt replies: "Yesterday, I was driving my car and accidentally I hit deer. I tought it was dead, so I thrown it in a nearby lake. By the way, why are you wet?". Lucas replies: "I was going to a costume party, dressed like a deer. Then someone hit me, and then...

A British man in a Jag is broke down on the side of the road

When the tow truck comes and the driver sees the Jag, he says "Hey you know why the British like warm beer?"

The Jag driver with a complete deadpan look says "I dunno. Why...?"

And the truck driver laughs and says "Because Lucas makes refrigerators too!"

After Peter Jackson’s successful launch of World War 1 documentary They Will Not Grow, George Lucas has announced he is making a documentary of World War 2 with remastered footage.

Spoiler: France invades first.

When James Earl Jones auditioned for Darth Vader, George Lucas told him he had to have a Mid-Atlantic accent.

So, he went and bought a scuba air tank, and the rest is history.

At school, a teacher is teaching little kids Mathematics.

At school, a teacher is teaching little kids Mathematics. She says: "Does anybody of you already know how to count? For example you, what's your name?"
"My name is George Lucas. Yes, I know how to count."
"Please show me."
"Four, five, six, one two, three."

A math teacher is teaching his class in a green costume

Halloween was soon, so he and most of the school was dressed up.

He decided to dress up as The Flash, as he was a popular character among the students, but not knowing the character well, he ended up with a green version of the costume.

After a bit of mocking by the students, he began ...

- what’s your name?

- it’s Lucas, without a “w”

- wait a minute. Lucas has no “w”.

- and what did I just say?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend says someone in our male friend group is gay

I hope it’s Lucas, he’s really cute

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

A monastery has a barbecue

It is usually prohibited for monks to eat meat, but the abbot one day realised that most monks had rarely eaten meat in their lifetime in the first place.

He decided that it would better for them to indulge in the taste and then learn to stave of the temptation of later consumption, so that ...

My buddy

You ever have one of those friends that are just OBSESSED with Star Wars? Yeah, me too. Tim Lehey is his name. Number of years he went to a -con where he met this girl Carol Hu. Now, Carol was a friggin Star Wars nut herself. They'd go on and on about how Lucas was so great and...blah blah blah... ...

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