Gilbert Jokes - 16 Hilarious Gilbert Jokes

RIP Gilbert Gottfried...

Now he can finally tell that infamous 9/11 joke to the people who were in the towers.

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rip gilbert gottfried

there's a family about to eat breakfast, a mom, a dad, and two little boys. the mom looks at one of the kids and asked him what he would like for
breakfast, he said "i would like the french toast". the mom then started to slap him and the dad took of his belt and started beating him, they...

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Armless Legless the beach

A man is walking on the beach when suddenly he hears someone crying, as he gets closer he discovers that it is an armless and legless woman.

He then asks her:

Man: "Why are you crying?"

Woman: "In my whole life, i've never been kissed."

So the man grabs her and kisses her...

Bob Saget, Norm Macdonald, and Gilbert Gottfried walk into a bar

There's no punchline, I'm just really sad now.

Gilbert O'Sullivan came into my bank the other day...

“What did he want?”

A loan again, naturally.

Gilbert Gottfried may have joked about tragedies right after they happened, but he still had a big heart.

Weak, but big.

P.S. RIP Gilbert

When I heard the sad news that Gilbert Gottfried had passed away....

I half-expected his cause of death was anaphylAFLAC shock.

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Lottery- Gilbert Gottfried

A man comes home to his wife and says "Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!" She says "What should I pack?" He says "I don't care just pack and get the out!"

A man walks into a restaurant...

A man walks into a restaurant and sees a sign that reads:

CHEESEBURGER: $2.00 SALAD: $4.50 : $15.00

He decides to order and an exceptionally attractive blonde comes over. "What may I get you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand j...

Did you hear about the standup comic who was just released from prison?

Yeah, Gilbert got freed.

(I apologize to Gilbert.)

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How do pants fit on a man with 5 penises?

Like a glove

>-Gilbert Gottfried (shortened)

Buzz Killington

Do you know why W.S Gilbert was frequently drunk on his transatlantic crossings?

Because he was a quartered on the portside!

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Gilbert Melendez

Gilbert Melendez who?

Gilbert may lend deez nuts

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Urine Trouble

Three old men are sitting on a park bench. One of them begins complaining to the others about his problems in the bathroom.

"I can't take it. Every morning, 8am I try and I try to take a piss but no matter how long I stand there at the toilet I can't squeeze a drop!"

The old man sittin...

A man rushes to the hospital after his wife gets in a severe car accident.

(one of my favorite jokes, I believe originally from Gilbert Gottfried)

Upon arrival the surgeon rushes out to see him.
**Surgeon:** Sir, I'm afraid I have terrible news. Your wife was in a severe accident and she is paralyzed from the neck down. From here on out, you'll have to do every...

What do you get when you cross Gilbert Gottfried and Donald Trump?

A migraine.

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