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Screenwriter Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Con-fucking-gratulations to me! I'm a screenwriter and I just signed a deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures!

Looks like I'll be going with the basic cable plus HBO Max.

Screenwriters are very attention seeking.

After all, they cause a lot of scenes.

A screenwriter and a movie producer are stranded in the desert

After roaming the desert for two days, the two men are on the verge of dying of thirst when they come across an oasis. They run over to spring in the center. The screenwriter drops to his knees at the edge of the water, but before he can start drinking the water, the producer starts peeing into it. ...

Chuck Norris, the actor, film producer and screenwriter died in his house today at 76 years of age

He is now feeling much better and has fully recovered from this minor annoyance

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People in Los Angeles.

People in Los Angeles are never just one thing. Someone’s a waiter *and* a screenwriter or a grocery stocker *and* a comedian. I was out there a few months ago, and I stopped for gas. Got to chatting with the guy pumping the gas, and he told me he was also a porn star. I was skeptical, but I believe...

Did you hear about the screenwriter who was so distracted from working on a screenplay in his head, he stepped into a crosswalk and got hit by a hit-and-run driver?

Another victim of a cross site scripting attack.

The screenwriters for UP were flying to get a view of what it would be like for the characters on screen. They had a fair idea, and they stopped writing. As soon as they did, the wind took them off course and higher than ever.

They got caught in an UP draft.

Seeking inspiration, a screenwriter goes to the holy place of Golgotha in Jerusalem, believed to be the site of Jesus's crucifixion. Finding a quiet spot, he begins to write. Unfortunately, a group of thieves sneak up behind him, knock him out, and steal his laptop.

Another victim of a cross site scripting attack.

A man went searching for the perfect joke...

He went to the best comedy clubs in his city and listened for days. He heard some great things, but nothing he could call perfect.

 

He journeyed to Hollywood, and tracked down the best comedic actors and screenwriters. Each one, eager for the honor of creating the perfect jok...

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