UPJOKE
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Everyone’s heard of Cunningham’s Law - “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”. But have you heard of Cole’s Law?

It’s thinly slice cabbage and mayo.

Murphy's Law states that anything that can happen, will happen. But are you familiar with Cole's Law?

It's finely-shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.

A man named Eric Cole...

... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.

Murphy vs Cole

You all have heard of Murphy’s Law, I assume. It’s the idea that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

However, have you ever heard of Cole’s Law? It’s a disgusting mash up of sliced cabbage and watery mayonnaise.

Cole's Law

"Have you heard of Murphy's law?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"If something can go wrong, it will go wrong."

"Right. Have you heard of Cole's Law?"

"No, what is it?"

"Thinly sliced cabbage."

(I remember hearing this from my dad, and to this day it makes...

Cole's Law

Thinly sliced cabbage.

I don't know who Cole is..

But he's my favorite law maker.

“See you next decade!” Said Cole...

The first second of 2020.

My physics professor took an entire class to lecture us about Cole’s law

Turns out, it’s just thinly sliced cabbage

What do you call Cole slaw that got made wrong?

Murphy Slaw!

You're surely familiar with Murphy's Law, but do you know what Cole's Law is?

It's a cabbage salad, often served as a side dish at a BBQ.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Murphy’s law is about bad luck, Godwin’s law is about Hitler, and ColesLaw is...

Finely sliced cabbage, with a vinegar or mayonnaise based dressing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scoutmaster

Dear Dad & Mom,

Our scoutmaster told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 Sleeping bags got washed away.

Luckily, none of us got drowned because we we're all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happen...

I went to Coles to buy a cabbage but apparently it’s a legal requirement to buy mayonnaise and carrots too.

It’s Coles Law.

You've heard Moore's law and Boyle's law but have you heard of Cole's law?

It's chopped cabbage. Thanks for the correction

Went to a diner with a couple I know. They started arguing.

Normally, I'm not one to take sides, but they were so distracted by yelling at each other that I stole her fries and his cole slaw...

TIL J. Cole robbed a bank and was never caught despite there being several witnesses

When police sketch artists asked witnesses for a description of the robber they said he had no features.

For the last couple of weeks i've been unable to stop singing songs by Tony Bennet, Nat king Cole, Perry Como and Bing crosby. After a while it all got too much so I went to see my doctor.

Apparently i have crooner virus!

Man has plans to kill his wife

This guy is talking to a group of friends,

"I want my wife dead, but I don't want to do it myself, I'll pay anyone $1000 to kill her for me".

One of his friends Arty speaks up and says,

"I don't like your wife either, I'll do it for a dollar".

"Great"! He responds, "you c...

The pressure of a gas is inversely proportional to its volume—Boyle’s Law.

Any leftover cabbage must be shredded and mixed with mayonnaise.

—-Cole’s Law.

A Book Series Never Written…

“The Assignment Chronicles”

* Book 1 written by Ken U. Duitt

* Book 2 written by Noah Kent

* Book 3 written by Nora Cannai

* Book 4 written by May Neether

* Book 5 written by Al Trayet

* Book 6 written by Cole Laktiv-Raleif

Vegans again....

Vegan: 'That chicken had a family!'

Me: That's why I ordered the family size bucket. No one gets left behind!

Plus, I got free cole slaw.

Gary Coleman just died. Life is short.

He died of multiple aneurysms. Different Strokes.

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law

"Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law

-Have you heard of Murphy's Law

\-Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong

\-What's about Cole's law?

\-No

\-It's a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream

What do you call a guy/girl with no arms and no legs jokes. (WDYCAGWNAANL)

Ok these are pretty common, so I'll start with a couple of standards and then add some I came up with.

WDYCAGWNAANL in a mailbox? Bill

WDYCAGWNAANL in front of a door? Matt

WDYCAGWNAANL in the water? Bob

WDYCAGWNAANL in a pile of leaves? Russel.

In a hole? Doug....

There was this homeless man named Arty

There was this homeless man named Arty, always down on his luck, would do anything for a dollar.



One day a rich man came up to Arty and said he needed his business partner killed and would pay Arty a dollar for the trouble. He informed Arty that this business partner always shopped at...

A professor was in class teaching his students about laws, and begun a conversation about Murphy's Law.

Professor: " Have you ever heard about Murphy's law?"

Student: "No, what's that?"

Professor: "Well basically, it's the principle that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"

Students were impressed, so one student in particular decided to respond.

Student: "Oh yeah? We...

Just heard on the news that some supermarkets are severely restricting how many of a particular item you can buy!

Woolworths > 1 - Container of hand sanitiser, 1 - 500g pack of rice, 1 - Ppack of toilet paper;

Coles > 1- pack of toilet paper, 1 - Container of hand sanitiser, 1 - Can of beans;

Aldi > 1 - MIG welder, 1 - Ladies sports bra, 1 - 2m tall garden trellis

(For my Aussies out there) What do you call a burnt down Woolworths?

Coles/Coals!

Sod's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Moore's law: The complexity of integrated circuits doubles every 24 months.

Campbell's law: The more any quantitative social indicator is used for social decision making, the more subject it will be to corruption pressures and the more apt it will be to distort and corrupt the social processe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor Schapelle Corby,

shes missed out on so much the past 10 years. Imagine the 1st time she goes to use the self serve checkouts at coles 'Unexpected item in bag.'
"Shit not this again"

When I was 18 I got Coal from Santa

Yup, raising Cole as a single mom was a punishment for being bad, I guess.

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