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Wayne Jokes

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Wayne Gretzky is going down on his wife, she cums all over his face and says messy eh?

He looks up at her and says loudly no it’s me Wayne.

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels is still killing
Indians.

What is Bruce Wayne's favorite sport?

Batmanton.

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The toilet paper at my parents' house is like John Wayne.

It's rough and tough and won't take crap off nobody.

Wayne Gretzky, Wayne Newton, and Wayne Brady are all chasing after you. Which one is going to catch you first?

I don't know, but they are gonna get ya, one Wayne or another.

If Bruce Wayne overcame his fear of bats by becoming his phobia...

why am I still afraid of failure?

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What’s the difference between Kurt Zouma and Wayne Rooney?

Kurt Zouma stays at home to smash pussy.

Where does Bruce Wayne go to defecate?

The bat-room!

What does Bruce Wayne take with his drink?

Just ice.

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One ply toilet paper is the John Wayne of butt-wipe.

Every roll is the same: square, white, two dimensional, but rough as hell and don't take shit off nobody.

Wayne was returning home from a business trip,

bags in hand, and slowly making his way to his vehicle in the crowded airport garage.
Suddenly a large dark car screeched to a stop in front of Wayne, and the driver pointed menacingly at him. "Get in," the driver ordered. "I'll take you to your car."

Startled, Wayne took a step backward....

Bruce Wayne became a surgeon.

Whenever he carried out a surgery, he always asked the nurses to turn the lights off. This was extremely dangerous and unusual, so the nurses asked him why.
He said, "I operate in the shadows"

Batman says to Alfred, “I’m really tired Alfred, it's been an exhausting day, please can you just get the bathtub ready for me?"

Alfred replies, "Master Wayne, what is a htub?"

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What did Dr.Dre say to Lil Wayne?

Nothing, you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in Eminem's basement!

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Betting on John Wayne

Two friends are watching a John Wayne film in the theater. Midway through the film, one of the gentlemen says to his friend “I’ll bet you five dollars that John Wayne gets shot before the end of the movie.” His buddy accepts: “You’re on!”

Sure enough, by the end of the film, John Wayne ...

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If Bruce Wayne was a millennial...

*after the well incident*

Thomas : Why do we fall, Bruce?

Bruce (mumbles): Running a billion dollar empire focused on science, don't know what fucking gravity is. Great!!

What's the difference between Wayne Gretsky and a bartender?

A bartender makes 100% of the shots he doesn't take.

Wayne Gretzky said you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

If Congress is any indication, you miss a lot of the ones you do take as well.

Lil Bruce Wayne, he played little league baseball...

He was the batboy.

what did the white woman say to the other white woman who confused jay-z for lil wayne?

thats ludacris

What was the burglar doing in Wayne Manor?

He was Robin.

Why do they call Lil Wayne "The Last Communist?"

Cuz he's We-Z baby.

If you say "I'm a big fan of John Wayne," it's normal...

But add the word Gacy and suddenly you're a weirdo.

Damn girl are you john wayne gacy’s floorboards?

Cause I wanna put some kids inside you

Considering what Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark did with their money,

Bill Gates should be ashamed of himself.

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Did you hear about John Wayne Bobbitt's dick?

[REMOVED]

What did Bruce Wayne say to the hungry squirrel?

YOU WANNA GET NUTS?

C'mon, let's get nuts.

How does Lil Wayne get inspiration for his new music?

He listens to his old music.

What does the Jewish Bruce Wayne drive?

The Shabbat-Mobile.

John Wayne walks into a bar...

And asks the bartender if he can use his private restroom.
"No!" Says the bartender, "You can use the public one, just like everybody else!"
John wayne replies: "Oh come on man, I'm John Wayne!"
"No preferential treatment, either use the public one, or get out."
John Wayne thinks for a w...

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What do lil' Wayne and sewage have in common?

Shit flow.

Why are Wayne and Garth banned from playgrounds?

They hog the Schwing set.

16 sodiums walk into a bar followed by Bruce Wayne

Nananananananananananananananana BATMAN!

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When John Wayne died, he had 40 pounds of fecal matter in his intestines.

It sounds like a lot of shit, but it's true.

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Sex with ghosts

A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do an...

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Sexual education with John Wayne

The first time I got sexual education in elementary school, we were told to write a small text about sex and read it out loud in front of the class. Most stories were about "when a man and a woman love eachother", when their dog gave birth to puppies, etc...
I wrote this:
"John Wayne is being ...

Reportedly Wayne Rooney said to Roy Hodgson "I don't know if I'm better on the left, middle or right"

Hodgson responded "Shut up and pick a seat on the plane Wayne"

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John Wayne

rides his horse into town, ties the reins to the hitching rail, walks to the back of the horse and pokes his finger up the horses butt. He then proceeds to wipes the finger all around his mouth.

A man standing nearby runs over and says "Mr Wayne, why did you do that"

John Wayne replies...

Wayne Rooney walks into a shop

He sees a shiny silver thermos flask that he has never seen before, so he finds a shop assistant and asks him, "what is this used for?" the shop assistant replies, "it is used to keep hot things hot and cold things cold". Wayne Rooney buys it and takes it to training the next day. Alex Ferguson sees...

What do you call a hockey player who questions their bad life choices?

Wayne Regretsky

Q anon conspiracy types must be absolutely fuming

they were promised a storm...

...and in the end all they got was a 'lil wayne.

I'm here all week.

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How is Black Adam like Batman’s penis?

They are both Da Wayne Johnson.

What do you call it when Batman gets hurt?

Bruised Wayne

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Daniel Running Deer walked up to the customer service counter at the supermarket

He told the agent that he wanted to return a package of John Wayne brand toilet paper. She asked him what was wrong with it and Daniel said “Well it’s rough, and it’s tough, and it doesn’t take any shit off of Indians.”

After many years of fighting crime as batman

Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.

All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the ...

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Fancy Toilet paper names

A big chief of a native american tribe had heard of a new invention of the white man called toilet paper, and he wanted to try it out so he sends a runner to a general store in town to buy some. The runner gets to the store and says "Need toilet paper for big chief.", to which the clerk replied, "Wh...

Corny joke from a warehouse worker.

Was loading semi trailers and it was raining like hell. Asked my team lead to step inside a trailer with me.

"Hey Billy, I keep hearing a weird noise every time I step in a trailer."

"What's it sound like?"

(While pointing at the roof) "It sounds like autotune."

"Autotune...

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A very wealthy widow in NYC just bought a huge penthouse apartment...

It was gorgeous. Two whole floors of the building overlooking Central Park. The only issue was a big, blank, white wall. So, the widow decided to hire a muralist.

She found the perfect artist and told him what she wanted.

"I've always loved the rimanticized Old West. Westerward expansi...

After being 3 months sober from drinking, I bought myself a motivational poster to keep my spirits up.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky

What walks into an alley with 6 legs and walks out with 2?

"What walks into an alley with 6 legs and walks out with 2?"

"What?"

"The Wayne Family"

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An Indian walks into a grocery store...

He's approached by a store associate who asks him "can I have a moment of your time?" The man agrees and the associate explains to him that they are asking customers to try out a new brand of toilet paper and to come up with names to call it based on their experience. So he convinces the man to try ...

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