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Clint Jokes

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What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?

Clint Eastwood will make your day but anal sex will make your hole weak.

There is a beaver in our local zoo who is quite the celebrity. His name is Clint.

Clint EatsWood.

Clint Eastwood decided to play Red Dead Redemption

he was greeted with the welcome screen

"OK Gamer"

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My office has Clint Eastwood toilet paper...

It's rough and tough and don't take shit off anybody.

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John, George and Clint are riding in a car....

When the car is hit by a bus and they all die. When they wake up they are in heaven standing in front of god and god asks why the men look upset, they all share their sadness for leaving earth so soon and would do anything to be able to have one last chance back on earth. God decides he will give th...

How come there are so many Chuck Norris jokes but none about Clint Eastwood?

Clint Eastwood is no joke.

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Clint Eastwood says we’re the “pussy generation.”

Potty mouth.

What do mitochondria, Bill Cosby, and my friend Clint all have in common?

They're all incels.

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I Like My Vaginas Like My Two Favorite Clint Eastwood Movies

Dirty Harry and Every Which Way but Loose

What does Clint Eastwood say to God every morning?

"Go Ahead Make My Day"

Clint Eastwood should do a movie where he is a crotchety old sysadmin.

Then we could have the line: "Get off my LAN."

What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class?

Go ahead, bake my clay.

*walks away slowly*

They should send Hillary Clinton to the U.S. Mexico border

Since no one can get over her...

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Cowboys and Indians

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named "Clint", and bring him
back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"
Clint says, "I want to see ...

The short version of a long joke

Bernie brags at a bar that he knows lots of celebrities, including Clint Eastwood. When Phil calls him a liar, they bet on it, and Bernie takes him to Clint's house, where Bernie receives a warm welcome.

Weeks later Bernie brags about knowing the queen of England. Sure enough, Phil scoffs at...

One day, prior to the world cup, the US national soccer team manager was visiting Belgium

He was having a meeting with Roberto Martinez, and they were discussing the efficiency of their soccer team.

"Our population is over 300 millions and yet we have failed to qualify for the world cup, Roberto... How did you manage to do so with such a small country ?"

"You know Dave," sa...

The Bubba Joke--long

Bubba is talking to his friend in a bar and boasts to his friend that he knows everyone in the world. His friend, of course, doesn’t believe him.
“If you know everyone in the world, name everyone in this bar.” Bubba proceeds to name everyone—Joey, Rachel, Sam, Johnny, Bart, until everyone is name...

What do you call a cowboy with erectile dysfunction?

Clint Southwood

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While traveling in Ireland...

I stopped into an empty bar. The bartender brings me a pint and as I started to drink it he said, "You know I built this bar," he paused, "all by myself, but nobody knows me as Clint the entrepreneur. That beer you're drinking, I brewed it myself. But nobody knows me as Clint, the beer brewer." He p...

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This new amazon echo is really amazing

I set it up today and said “Make my day” and got a list of Clint Eastwood movies

Then I said “yippie Kay yay” and got a list of Bruce Willis movies

Just then my neighborhood kids were running and screaming outside the house

I muttered “Fucking kids”

And a bunch of Kev...

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