What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos

My friend’s girlfriend is pregnant, and he is thinking of a name for the past few weeks.

Finally he decided on Carlos and ran away to Mexico.

A lot of redditors who post in r/Jokes remind me of Carlos Mencia

Not just because they steal jokes but they're fat and stupid too.

If I had a dollar for every repost I see on Reddit, I’d be just like Carlos Mencia...

Making money off of used material.

Jose and Carlos

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers that panhandle in different areas of town.
Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects $2-3 every day.
Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills every day, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.
...

My girlfriend told me she was pregnant, so I started looking for some names...

...in the end I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain.

If I had a dozen muffins and Carlos took 13 away from me, what do I have now?

A math problem

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Twelve Italian priests...

...were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his manhood, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced...

Carlos is chilling with his baby brother, Pedro…

…and Carlos says, "¿Quieres escuchar una broma, Pedro?" *(Do you want to hear a joke, Pedro?)*

To which little Pedro replies, "¡Sí, por supuesto!" *(Yes, of course!)*

And Carlos says, "¿Está seguro?
Puede ser demasiado divertido..." *(Are you sure? It may be too funny…)*

"¡Q...

My friend Carlos got his car stolen

We call him Los now

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A rich Mexican buisnessman by the name of Jesus bought an apartment at the top floor of Burj Khalifa

He decided to invite his father to view his apartment and have a nice time together.He sent a plane ticket for his father in Mexico, and ordered his personal assistant to wait for him outside the airport.

When the father arrived, the assistant approached him to carry his luggage. The father a...

Say what you will about Carlos Mencia, he sure knows how to take a joke

And present it as if he wrote it

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two drunk girls stop to pee in a cemetery

Two drunk girls stopped to pee in a cemetery after a long night out drinking and partying.

The first girl squats down by the car and starts to pee. She then realizes she doesn't have anything to wipe with, so she takes her panties off and wipes herself, and throws them away.

The secon...

Jesus take the wheel

Carlos and Jose help me carry the sofa

A Spanish physician renowned for his ability to cure anybody and everybody falls ill.

“It’s unfortunate, but I don’t think he’ll make it” says one of his patients, that was cured from an untreatable disease.

Everyone agrees, and proceeds to tell stories about how he was able to do anything.

“He cured me of my back pain” a woman says.

“...and he saved my son after...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A residential building with thin walls.

One morning, an old man named Carlos, living on the 6th floor of a residential building stops a young man who lives on the 1st floor of the same residential building.

Old man Carlos says, “You stupid son of a b*tch, don’t you know how thin the walls are in this building ? When your shagging ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

First farmer's market of the year

A farmer was on her way to the first farmer's market of the year. She was lucky to have secured a spot, year after year, at a very popular farmer's market, but rather than feeling excited, she was bummed out in anticipation of having to endure, yet again, the obnoxious antics of two almond growers ...

Two Intel operatives are on their way to meet a defector...

Two Spanish intelligence agents get word that a Portuguese agent wants to defect, so they set up a meeting with him. The Chief agent starts to walk into the room, when his partner, Juan Mendoza shouts " No! It's a trap, and pushes the Chief out of the way just before a bullet from the would be detec...

2016 has done the impossible

It claimed the life of Chuck Norris.

"Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter died this morning in his house in Oklahoma at the age of 76. He is feeling much better now and has fully recovered from this minor annoyan...

The bacon tree.

Juan and Carlos have been stranded in the desert for 2 days. They are on the verge on dying of thirst when Juan sees something in the distance.

He gets closer to confirm his suspicions - off in the distance is an incredibly juicy bacon tree. "Mira!!" (Look!) "Carlos! Up ahead, it's a bacon t...

When an artist covers another artist's song, it's flattering. When a comedian tells another comedian's joke, it's

Carlos Mencia

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Death and Taxes

One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged,
he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not
go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told
him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way
he could get into heaven would ...

What do you call a Latino whos car got nicked?

Carlos-t

Two mexicans are walking in a desert....

and are extremely thirsty and hungry, and are out of food and water. As they continue on their journey to reach their homeland, Carlos says to Juan in broken english, "I don't think we es going to make it, Juan." Juan replies, "We must keep trying Carlos, we es got no choice."

As Carlos and J...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

3 Construction Workers

Alanzo, Carlos and John are three construction workers are sitting on a high up beam of their nearly finished skyscrapers. Opening his lunchbox and seeing pasta, Alanzo curses, "I swear if my wife makes me pasta again, I will throw myself off this building." Carlos opens his lunchbox to see burritos...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An elderly couple from Ohio are planning their 40th anniversary...

The couple, who were rabid basketball fans, had used the last 39 years to have an annual foray into their shared passion for the NBA. They went to games when they could, had gone to the Basketball Hall of Fame (four times so far), but usually just celebrated by getting each other neat collector's i...

gotta love cousins...

what do you call a hispanic man who's car got jacked? Carlos.
what do you call the italian man who stole it? Carmine.