Im surprised that Roy Moore wants a recount; a large gap in numbers had never bothered him before.

Get it?



Edit: I'm not removing the "Get it?" Part.

Thicc Sauce is Andre Segers

Another Edit: thanks for making "Get It" a meme <3

How do you know Roy G. Biv was vaccinated?

He’s all over the spectrum.

Roy Moore is no longer interested in this year..

Because it’s officially ‘18

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race.

He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

Why was Roy Moore waiting outside the liquor store when it opened?

He heard they had a 14 year old Brandy

to help cope with his loss Roy Moore ordered a 12 year old whiskey

she didn't like it

Congress has finally made a decision and just announced that if Roy Moore wins the senate...

They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.

I sure hope Roy Moore wins today

Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.

What is Roy Moore's favorite piano key?

A minor

What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer?

The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls...

But he wasn’t related to any of ‘em!

Roy Moore likes his women the same way he likes his constitutional amendments...

12 and Under

Why was Roy Moore a bad music teacher?

All he knew how to do was finger a minor.

We already know Roy Moore's positions on crime and immigration. But, what about his position on children?

Missionary, mostly.

Doug Jones just won the Senate race against Roy Moore

I guess you could say he got Moore votes.

Why is Roy Moore so mad about the election anyways?

He normally likes coming in a little behind.

Roy Moore missed the New Years Eve countdown.

He’s demanding a recount.

What does Roy Moore and an e-book have in common?

They're both pdf files.

Roy Moore is in bed with a girl, and says "pretend you're 14". She found that really weird...

Her birthday was in 4 months anyway.

Why did Roy Moore lose the election?

There’s a minimum age for voting

Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down.

Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

Trump endorsed Roy Moore but not Don Blankenship...

I guess it's all right to mess with minors, but miners are off limits.

So Roy Moore and a little girl walking through a scary Forest

The little girl turns to him and says, "Geese mister I'm really scared!".

And he says " How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

What did President Trump call Roy Moore's senate loss?

*"A minor setback."*

Roy Moor arrived at the polling station on a horse

His assistant misunderstood when Roy said he wanted to ride a 6 Year old bareback

Hey, Roy Moore; what's the weather forecast?

Tonight, we'll be dipping into the teens.

The real reason Roy Moore wanted to be in D.C.

He hasn't been banned from the National Mall

I wanna ask Roy Moore voters how they feel about losing such a close race.

Unfortunately, I don’t speak Russian.

Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama.

The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.

In the Alabama senatorial race next week, Roy Moore is either going to win...

...or he's going to come in a little behind.

[NSFW] Why did Roy Moore never miss a local Girl Scouts' meeting?

Because Brownies are delicious.

Roy Moore is not happy with the events that transpired tonight

He liked it better when the night was young

Did you see that Roy Moore had a high profile interview on Dateline NBC?

What was unfortunate for him is that it was with Chris Hansen, who started it by asking him to take a seat over there.

What's the difference between Bob Ross and Roy Moore?

One's a doodler and the other's a diddler.

Roy Moore still hasn't conceded, which actually makes sense.

How could anyone banned from mall food courts know anything about concessions?

Met Roy Moore at a bar once...

Chatted him up about wanting to hook up with twenty-nine year olds.

He looked at me with disbelief and asked "how are you going to do all twenty at once?"

Why does Roy Moore want a recount of the election?

He thinks Alabama is playing hard to get

Why is Roy Moore’s Strategic Planning Committee headquartered in Disney's Hollywood Hotel?

He likes to keep his staff in something 12 years old.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't Roy Moore live in a Northern state?

Because if the outside temperature drops into the teens he might try to fuck it

What does Roy Moore and a guitarist have in common?

They both enjoy fingering minors.

What is the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-vaxxer?

Anti-vaxxers don't like to stick 'em while they're young.

Judge Roy Moore.

I sure as hell am.

I heard Roy Moore fell off the wagon after losing on Tuesday...

Several sources claim he was heard repeatedly asking for a decent 15 year old Brandy.

I don't understand all the uproar about Roy Moore lately.

It seems like a minor issue to me.

Why does Roy Moore like D.C.

Because, while the temperature is 30°, the real feel is in the teens.

Roy Moore demanded a recount

The results came back that she was 14 and a half.

Why did Roy Moore go to Walmart?

He heard that girl's pants were half off.

Roy Moore has failed in his attempt to challenge the Alabama Senate result

It's almost as if he doesn't know what the word "no" means.

What does Roy Moore call a high school track meet?

Speed dating

I was playing tennis with Roy Moore this morning... The score was love-15.

**AWKWARD!**

Alabamans were fine with Roy Moore dating teenagers as an adult until

they found out that he wasn't dating cousins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic.

So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches and they head off. The trouble is the picnic site is 5 miles away so it takes them 5 days to get there.

When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Roy, give me the bottle opener." "I didn't bring it," says Roy. "I thought y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roy Rogers and the mountain lion

Back in the 1950s, cowboy star Roy Rogers bought a brand new pair of expensive cowboy boots. Cowboy boots are notoriously stiff when they're new so Roy spent all morning oiling and working the leather to try to soften them up a bit. He then took them out onto the back porch to dry in the sunlight wh...

England football manager Roy Hodgson has just announced that he's won the competition for

"Scotland's favourite Englishman."

I heard Roy Moore was upset that his girlfriend didn’t vote for him...

But then he realized that 15 year olds can’t vote anyway.

Reportedly Wayne Rooney said to Roy Hodgson "I don't know if I'm better on the left, middle or right"

Hodgson responded "Shut up and pick a seat on the plane Wayne"

A husband on his death bed

Jane and Roy had been married for 40 years. They lived frugally and never had any children. Everything they owned was paid for.
Roy kept all of his money in cash at home. He always talked about how he was going to take his money with him when he died. Always saying he wanted all of his money put...

"I'm NOT a window cleaner!"

(Inspired by IT crowd)

One gloomy day in London a man by the name of Roy walks in a park, taking a short break from his job in an IT department. Suprisingly, he runs into an old school friend named Alister during his walk, and they catch up. Alister is a local writer for a very famous publish...

Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici!

Roy Moore: Vidi, vici, veni.

What do Siegfried and the tiger have in common?

They both know what Roy tastes like.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a 14-year old girl and a Ferrari?

Roy Moore doesn't have a Ferrari in his basement.

The Alabama Senate elections are in! And even though it was tight,

Roy Moore came in a little behind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I invented a new drink today; basically you start with a Shirley Temple and put a really old cocktail sausage in it.

I call it the "Judge Roy Moore".

Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!"

Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"

The GOP announced a new slogan today...

“We’re not just morally bankrupt, *we’re Roy Mooreally bankrupt!”*

Dems haven't won a senate seat in Alabama since 1992

Unlike Roy Moore, they were capable of waiting 25 years.

How childish are Trump's tweets?

Let's just say Roy Moore would date them.

I'm not saying my cat is old..

.. but if it was a person, it would be too old for Roy Moore.

Doug Jones’ margin of victory is so small

Roy Moore is going to try and molest it.

Can you imagine going to your girlfriend’s prom at 32?

Well neither could Roy Moore. He preferred freshmen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The English gentleman..

..Mr. Harold James Blessing was a renowned person. He’d retired from service in the British Army, and was revered and liked by all in the town for his best qualities.

One day, while visiting the countryside where he was quite popular, he spotted an immensely pretty, dazzling, drop dead gorgeo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Can I...?

Here's an old Roy Chubby Brown joke.

I was in my changing room the other day and a female staff member came in and was tidying up. I looked at her for a while and then plucked up the courage to ask, "Excuse me, love. Can I smell your pussy?"

Shocked, she slapped me and shouted, "You m...

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