UPJOKE
keanefergusondaviesdawsongarethgerrardrooneycampbellrobbieliamevanscraigrichardsnevilleclarke

What is Owen Wilson's favorite video game?

Wow.

What do you call a man who is in debt?

Owen

What did Owen Wilson say when he got to Australia?

"MOM"

Owen Wilson is an ok actor...

I personally like his brother more, even though he doesn't have that "wow" factor.

TIL Owen Wilson is a gamer.

His favourite game of all is WoW!

Why is Owen Wilson’s nose all messed up?

He KaCHOO’ed too hard!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler shook jesse owens hand at the '39 olympics.

Meanwhile our president couldn't even be bothered to stand up.

A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed; sweating and panting.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“I think I'm having a heart attack," she cries.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone but just as he’s dialing 911, his six year old son runs up to him and says, “Daddy! Daddy! ...

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Hardy, and Owen Wilson dressed up as musicians for a party.

Tom Hardy said, "I'll be Beethoven."

Owen Wilson said, "I'll be Mozart."


Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be Bach."

I have just burned 3000 calories.

That's the last time I leave brownies in the owen while I have a nap.

Some laws that we didn't learn at school

01. *LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR*

Once your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

02. *ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP*

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

03. *KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM*

When u dial a wrong numbe...

If Wilson lent Tom Hanks $20...

Tom Hanks would be Owen Wilson.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Di...

What do you call a man...

With a car on his head? Jack.

In a hole? Phil.

Who always wins? Victor.

With a very loud voice? Mike.

In a pile of leaves? Russel.

Who cleans your house? Dustin.

With no arms and no legs in the middle of a lake? Bob.

Lying in front of your door? Matt....

Blonde walks into a pawn shop...

Tells the cashier she would like to purchase the TV in the corner.

With out hesitation the clerk tells the blonde that they dont sell tvs to blonde people.

Puzzled, the blonde walks out. She returns the next day with a brown wig on, and ask the owner if ahe can buy the TV in the corner...

My name is Steven

But the bank calls me Owen. Owen Lotts.

A city lawyer goes to visit his farmer cousin in the country.

On arrival, he sees a pig with a wooden leg.

He asks his cousin, "What's the deal with that pig?"

The farmer replies, "Oh, he's special. When my daughter Susie was trapped in a burning barn, he ran in and saved her. And when my son Owen fell down a well, he came and got us and led us r...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.