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Joined Jokes

I recently joined a nudist colony

The first few days were the hardest.

One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers.

One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers. They traveled to a Hydra base surrounded by four barriers.

When they got to the first barrier, Hulk smashed it.

When they got to the second barrier, Tony Stark fired up his Iron Man suit and blasted a hole through it.

When they got to the t...

Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. Wondering what is was for, he joined it.

People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this...

I joined a local scat group on Facebook recently who said they were having a meet up

Once I showed up and saw what they were doing to each other, I realized my mistake and skiddy-be-bop-a-do’d out of there as fast as I could.

I joined ISIS to help my self esteem issues.

Everyone kept telling me “You’re the bomb.”

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A man was having a pee at a urinal in Jamaica when a local man joined him..

"What is that tattoo you have on your penis?" Says the local man

"Oh, it says WY now because it was the name of my ex girlfriend, Wendy, so when I get an erection it says her name.." says the man.

"Take a look at this" the Jamaican shows the man his penis, also having WY on his penis.....

I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

He said, “Try the ATM outside”

It's been 6 months since I joined the gym and no progress.

Tomorrow I'm going there in person to see what's really going on.

I’ve just joined the Flat Earth Society.

We have members around the globe. (credit https://thejokecafe.com )

What would you call the Fantastic Four if Snoop Dogg joined the team?

The High Five

I just joined a gym for religious minorities.

Jehova's Fitness

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A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers.

He went through the standard
training, completed the practice jumps from
higher and higher structures, and finally went to
take his first jump from an airplane. The next
day, he called home to his father to tell him the
news.

"So, did you jump?" the father asked.

"We...

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A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service.

A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service. Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi.

Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he’d make his day in...

I joined a fisting club recently.

It’s not something I’m particularly into, I’m just trying to widen the circle of my friends.

I joined a dating sight for arsonist’s…

They sent me a lot of matches.

It's now 7 months since I joined the gym and nothing has changed.

Maybe it's time I go there personally and find out what's wrong.

A dyslexic friend of mine thought it might help his condition if he joined a poetry club.

He hasn't come out with any poems yet, but he's made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff.

Finland has just joined NATO.

It’s good to know their application is Finnish.

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Did you hear Peter Dinklage joined a gang

It was the 3’6” Mafia

Yes, I know I’m going to hell.

I'm really excited about the new autopsy club I just joined.

Tuesday is Open Mike night.

My son just told me he joined the Army. I asked him why and proudly, he said he joined up to kill people.

He's a terrible nurse.

I joined a religion where flatbread tells us about god.

Its a naan prophet organization.


I have no idea why this was the first thing my brain did when I woke up this morning.

A year ago when I joined Reddit I threw a boomerang to celebrate

I now live in constant fear

I joined gym 8 months ago

But still didn't lose any weight, may be i need to go there and ask them what's wrong.

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A young man joined the British Navy in the 1600s

After being shown around the ship and told he'd be at sea for many months, he asked the Captain, "What does a man do to relieve his urges?"

The Captain said, "Well, there's a barrel lashed to the mast and it has a hole in it. You can make use of it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday...

This new girl joined our soccer team

I was amazed, she was exactly what we wanted

She was tall, she was athletic, her legs were long, she wasn't fragile and she was extremely good with her hands

The moment I saw her I knew,

She's a keeper.

I've just joined a dating group for arsonists.

It's great, they send me new matches every day.

Did you hear about the new girl who joined the Vegetarian Club?

I’ve never seen herbivore!

Did you hear Elijah Wood joined the WWE?

I heard he destroyed the ring.

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People ask me why I never joined the Mile High Club

I just don't give a flying fuck.

I've just joined a procrastinators support group.

Ìt is called Wait Watchers.

I used to think no one cared what I have to say. Then I joined reddit

Now I know it's true.

What would happen if Snoop Dog joined the Fantastic Four

I don't know, but I do know that The Thing will no longer be the only one stoned

I joined a Ukrainian dating site

Now I have a chick in Kiev

My dad was a co-joined twin.

My dad was a conjoined twin.

We used to call his brother my uncle on my father's side.

They did get surgically separated though.

Now he's my uncle once removed.

what was Elvis assigned to do when he joined the army?

To look for Suspicious Mines.

I joined a carpenters class the other day.

We haven't made anything yet though, we've only just begun.

Why I Joined the Air Force

The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
“What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?”
A sailor said, “I’d step on it.”
A soldier said, “I’d squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I’d catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.”
A...

I accidentally joined an organization...

I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization.

When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.

My mother was scared for me when I joined the navy.

It makes sense, my father was a telegraph operator in the navy and he got lost at C.

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Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...

2 men discussing why they joined the army....

"I'm not married and I like war, so I joined the army." says the first man.

The second one replies, "I'm married and I like peace."

I just joined a gang called square root 2

Because I'm irrational

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Breaking News: Elon Musk & Bill Gates have joined hands

to make a Penis Enhancer.....They will call it
ELONGATES

I joined a Christian dating site

And got Holy Ghosted

Recently joined a Styx cover band

We play the same songs, but heavier. We’re called Logz.

I finally broke down and joined ChristianMingle.com...

My username is ComeGetPsalm

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I just joined a support group for compulsive masturbators.

We are trying to pull ourselves together.

Just joined Weight Watchers online program

They asked me to accept cookies as a test. I did and never I receive it. I guess that's part of the program...

I was diagnosed with antisocial behaviour disorder, so I joined a support group.

We never meet.

A typographer joined the military

He was trained in Arial combat

The Easter Bunny joined the Olympics

He heard first place gets 24 carrots.

I joined a club...

It's called Fight Club. I was a little late to the first meeting so I missed the introductory rules, but I highly recommend it for everyone and would love to discuss it with anyone who's interested.

My wife joined a support group for people who talk too much.

It's called
On Anon Anon Anon.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.

We haven’t met yet.

I joined a math contest the other day

And against all odds,



I was severely outnumbered

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In 1946, Sean Connery joined the Royal Navy...

In 1946, Sean Connery joined the Royal Navy. During his time there, he was in charge of a covert operation to spy on a Russian military installation which was directly next to a small lake.

He was in charge of a small team of highly trained soldiers, a few locals recruited to help with the op...

I can't believe I only joined Liars Anonymous this morning..

And they've already made me president.

My friend Will joined the army.

He's very uncomfortable with the phrase


"Fire at will"

My friends dad went and joined the band called hinges

and they support the doors

My fitness instructor advised me to wear loose clothing while exercising.

I would not have joined the gym if I had any loose clothing.

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Joined a poker club

Just signed up for poker at a club and all the members have these "lucky charms" on the table this guy has a glass cube with a 4 leaf clover in it that girl has a mini bronze doggie statue, you get the point. So the next week I wanted bring a charm to fit in, but I forgot but the novelty store next ...

What did the Redditor that joined ISIS say?

Edit: Wow, this blew up!

I joined a crime syndicate that steals and counterfeits valuable art

I don’t like what they do, I’m just in it for the Monet

Did you hear about the bird that joined a reggae band?

'e was flappin' de bass mon

What would The Beatles have been called if Ringo never joined?

The Beatless

New teacher joined in the school

Teacher- "Boys, tell me your names and hobbies"

1st boy- My name is Jack. My hobby is watching Moon .

2nd boy- My name is Harry. And my hobby is watching Moon .

3rd boy- My name is George & hobby is watching Moon .

Teacher- "wow nice nice, your hobbies are same .....

I have joined reddit on april 1st

so I guess you can say

I'm the joke.

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A man joined a company

A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee.
On his first day,  he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone: "Get me a fuckin' cup  of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
...

What happened when the flu joined instagram?

She became an influenza!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new hot secretary joined a company...

Two guys of this company start to speak about her:

"Holy molly she is so hot, we should really try to sleep with her"

So they start flirting with her.

One week later, the first one manages to sleep with her. His friend asks him "So, how was it?" "Meh, my wife is better".

...

I joined a naked wolf hunting group.

But it turns out only the wolf is naked.

Frankenstein joined a bodybuilding contest.

He learned that the objective was very different from what he had in mind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Russian pal is such a hopeless drunk that he joined the Red Army just to go to Ukraine

He heard that in the land of Ukraine, cocktails literally fall from the sky.

I joined a volunteer group to help stab victims

Didn’t have a sharp knife, so I had my work cut out for me.

I joined a cribbage cult recently

They practice peggin' rituals

When I got depressed, I joined the Army.

I didn't have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on.

Danny joined the French Foreign Legion to forget a girl.

Unfortunately, the girl he was trying to forget was Sandy.

I joined a debate club today, when I arrived everyone was pleasuring themselves

They were mass debating.

I joined a forum for people with Down syndrome.

Comments are disabled.

I joined an emotional support group for people without pets...

But they kicked me out for talking about my felines.

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I joined an alcoholism support group.

It was a total bait-and-switch; every motherfucker there was *against* my alcoholism!

What do you call a college student who joined the paratroopers to pay off his student loans?

Debt from above.

Iron man should have joined the London philharmonic orchestra.

He'd have made a good conductor.

Joined the Tourettes Society today ...

It only took a minute to swear me in

I almost joined a cult

but that blond chick in NXIVM never replied to my tweet :-(

I finally joined Christian mingle..

my user name is comegetpsalm

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