With all the pictures of Epstein attending parties, talking to important people and generally socialising

It's obvious he didn't like to hang by himself

A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago. For this particular trip, he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said: “You rest here while I register – I’ll be back within an hour.”

So, his wife lies down on the bed…and just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor....

Three writers, Al, Ben, and Carl, who were attending a writing convention, booked a room on the 75th floor of a hotel.

When they arrived back at the hotel from the convention, the receptionist told them, "I'm terribly sorry, but the elevator is broken. In the meantime, you will have to take the stairs."

Now, Al was a writer of funny stories, Ben was a writer of scary stories, and Carl was a writer of sad stor...

What do you call a Subway manager who spends too much time helping make sandwiches up front and not enough time back in the office attending to business matters?

Counter productive.

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An all boys high school teacher was doing the attendance roll call one morning

She went through the list of names and each student replied, “Yes miss” as their name was called.

“James?”

“Yes miss,” replied James.

“Is Robert here?”

“Yes miss,” replied Robert.

“Jack?”

After about 5 seconds of silence, Jack hadn’t replied.

The teac...

Three little old nuns are attending a church service in Rome when, in a freak accident, a giant crucifix falls from the old plaster wall and kills them.

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates Saint Peter says, "I'm SO sorry, Sisters, that was a freak accident and wasn't supposed to happen.

"Unfortunately, your Earthy bodies were too horribly mangled for us to just send your souls back, but we *do* have a protocol for cases like yours.

"W...

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First-year students at the Florida School of Veterinarian Medicine were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving an animal's body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger into the butt of...

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he was going to attend the 18th century composer costume party.

He said, “Yes, I’ll be Bach”.

I asked the farmers to attend a meeting on Thursday morning.

None of them turnip.

I don't know why the beautiful attendant at IKEA reported me to the police

All I asked was, "How much for one night stand?"

Trump decided not to attend the second virtual Presidential debate

I guess that makes it forBiden

Stalin attends the premiere of a Soviet comedy movie.

He laughs and grins throughout the film, but after it ends he says, "Well, I liked the comedy. But that clown had a moustache just like mine. Shoot him."

Everyone is speechless, until someone sheepishly suggests, "Comrade Stalin, maybe the actor shaves off his moustache?"

Stalin repl...

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Two Jamaican brothers are getting ready to attend their friend’s annual costume party. “Dante, we need to do better this year, we got to do better this year. We got to think of something extra special to wear!”

So Lamont and Dante take 3 hours coming up with the perfect costume to blow away the guests at the party. They’re determined to beat the annoying couple who took home last year’s prize as Tom and Jerry.

A while later, they arrive at Bob’s house, whose jaw hits the ground when he opens the fro...

Why do you see a lot more old people attending church than you see young people?

Cramming for the final.

I was on a plane recently and the flight attendant was doing the safety announcement 'In the event of an emergency please put your head between your knees" and a voice at the back of the plane shouted out..

" If I could do that I wouldn't be flying to Thailand"....

Little John and his mother were attending church

Suddenly in the middle of mass, John clenched his tummy and looks distressed

Concerned his mother asks him, " What's wrong, son?"

John replies," My tummy really hurts, I think I am going to throw up"

Since the mass was still underway, she turns to him and says , " Ok, You know w...

Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away called his blonde brother and told him, 'Do something nice for Uncle Charlie and then send me the bill.'

Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.
But when the $200.00 bills kept arriving every month, he finally called his brother again to find out what was going on.

'Well,' sa...

I asked the flight attendant what was in the spaghetti sauce

She said don't worry it's plane pasta.

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What did John say when he attended the paraplegic women's awareness dance?

"Yo this dance floor is crawling with pussy"

It was mealtime on an airplane and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like some dinner.

“What are my choices?” the passenger asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.

A woman goes to the doctor's to have a strange mark on her tummy looked at. The doctor said, "Do you by any chance have a boyfriend who attends Wisconsin University?" Confused, the girl asks, "Why do ask?"

The doc chuckles, "I'm not just a doctor, I'm also an amateur detective. It looks like your lover likes to wear a sweater with the initial letter of their university emblazoned on the front. It's mildly abrasive quality has been rubbing on your skin."

"Not bad doc!" she says. "Not bad at all!...

I didn’t attend the funeral of my high-school bully

But I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

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Three women who were friends in high school have returned to their hometown to attend their 45th reunion and have lunch together. Their talk turns to their position in life, and there's a lot of one-upmanship going on.

The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanour.

The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes." and looks about with considerable pride.

The third woman says, "Well, to...

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A boy from the country attended the prestigious university in the city.

With his degree, he got prizes in mathematics and metaphysics. The lad's father came up to the college to see his son graduate.

"Weel, Dr. Thompson" asked the old farmer to a professor, "And what may these mathematics be for which my son has getten a prize?"

"Mathematics is to do with ...

Mandatory temperature checks will be required for attending the Foreigner reunion concert

If you’re hot blooded, they’ll check it and see

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Beautiful woman

A bloke is sitting in the bar at a busy airport.

A beautiful woman walks in and sits down next to him.

He presumes, because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off duty flight attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for ...

A priest was invited to attend a house party

.Naturally, he was properly dressed and wearing his priest's collar.

A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening. Finally, the priest asked the little boy what he was staring at. The little boy pointed to the priest's neck.

When the priest finally realized what the boy was poin...

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?
His father replied, Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good sha...

Flight attendant: Would you like some headphones?

Passenger: Yeah. Sure. By the way, how’d you know my name was Phones?

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A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

"We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”

“United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight...

The class of 1950 gets together for their class reunion. Not many people are left, but two of the 10 people to attend were Harry, an 88 year old widower, and Esther, an 87 year old divorcee.

Over the course of the evening, they had a great time chatting about old times and their families. They each felt a real connection and by the time the night was out, Harry had proposed and Esther has happily accepted.

The next morning, Harry woke up and was frustrated to realize that he cou...

Attended my russian Friends wedding

It was quite a soviet union

It was my first time attending a beyblade tournament

"Let it rip" didn't mean what I think it meant

The United States, China and Russia are attending a military exercise competition

To see which army is the strongest, the United Nations placed three rabbits in three forests.the one spent least time and sent least soldiers wins.
On day one, the U.S. Army go first. They spent half a day meeting to formulate a battle plan, strictly divide the labor, and then sent a hundred spe...

Donald Trump had to attend an important military briefing

After waiting around 10 minutes, everyone who had to arrive arrived.

One of the generals stands up and says "So, shall we begin the meeting?"

Donald Trump coughs loudly, and then says "We cannot begin this meeting without the president present!"

"But... you are the president..."...

Anyone planning on attending their non-conformist church now that COVID restrictions are lifted?

Remember to bring your mask. Always practice safe sects.

...I'll see myself out.

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A priest was friends with Stephanie, a blonde woman who regularly attends his services.

As the priest was strolling through town one day, he noticed Stephanie's father holding hands with another man. Shocked, the priest calls his friend later that day to verify what he saw.

"Hey Stephanie, I believe your dad might be homosexual. Is this true?"

"Of course not! He would hav...

The elderly Mr. Johnson attended church every Sunday ...

And every Sunday one or another of the old ladies of the church would invite him for dinner, and he would always decline.

One Sunday, Mrs. Smith pressed him on the issue. "Wouldn't you like a nice home-cooked meal?" she asked.

"No thanks," he replied.

"What about some of your ...

Two old ladies were attending a church service

And about half way through one says:

"I just did a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

The other woman proceeds to lean over slowly and say:

"Put some new batteries in your bloody hearing aids!"

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I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license...

and all just because of a stupid police officer...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagin...

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The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.

"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, hot and sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous!"

The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you thi...

For anyone attending Stan Lee's funeral...

Make sure you stay after the ceremony is finished.

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam "Is this a union house?"

“No" she replied "I'm sorry it isn't".

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20" she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized sh...

WNBA announces plan to play abbreviated 22-game season in Florida beginning in late July without fans in attendance.

Come on. Do I even have to type the punchline for this one?

Batman has designed a tuxedo version of his crime fighting costume so he can attend formal occasions.

It's a class action suit.

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Dude, I attended the fertilizer convention the other day...

...yeah, it was a real shitshow.

I'm attending a self-help group for compulsive talkers.

It's called On and On Anon.

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A man was eating at a restaurant ...

When he noticed all the servers had spoons in their pocket.

Curious, he asked his server “why do all of you carry spoons?”

“Oh that’s interesting,” replied the server. “Our manager attended a seminar and found out the spoon is the most frequently dropped utensil. This way we are alway...

Teacher: alright time for attendance. Is X Æ A-12 here?

**X Æ A-12:** present

**Teacher:** okay and how about... umm... achhh-med???

**Ahmed:** -__-

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I invited a hoarder to my house party, but I think he's too busy to attend.

He's got a lot of stuff to get through.

A circle trying to convince a deadbeat dad to attend his son’s game:

“Sir, come for Ence.”

Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.

He said "inflation"

A man and his wife attends an airshow

The man sees a small aeroplane with an open roof and beautiful aesthetics. On a sign beside the plane wrote "100 dollars for a flight per person" The man asked his wife "can we take a flight? It is my dream to take a flight in this beautiful plane." His wife said "No, 200 dollars is too much money"<...

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There was a young couple very much in love...

There was a young couple very much in love. On the night before they were to be married, both were killed in an accident. They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being escorted in by St. Peter.
After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside and said, "S...

Man paid 100 dollars to attend seminar called "How to make 10000 dollars in five minutes"

He enters the hall. There's about one hundred people in the audience. The presenter walks up to the mic, says "Approximately like this" and leaves.

Yesterday I attended a cannibal dinner where the food was cooked only on one side.

It was quite a half-assed BBQ.

On a plane is full of Redditors, a man starts having a heart attack.

One of the flight attendants notices this and quickly shouts: “People of the plane, we’re having an emergency! Is anyone on this plane a doctor?”


Immediately, five people stand up and say
"I'm not a doctor, but...

A young man wanted to learn an instrument, so he bought himself a bass guitar.

Not knowing where to begin, he decides to take music lessons. After some searching he finds an old bassist who is offering beginner classes at a reasonable rate. He calls the man and they schedule a meeting for the next evening.

The young man leaves work the next day and heads to the lesson. ...

A proctologist gets sick of his medical career and decides it's time for a change. He does a bit of research and settles on trying his hand at being a mechanic. He attends mechanic school diligently and pays attention in the hopes of being the best mechanic in town.

After taking his final exam, he notices a mistake with the grade on the test and asks the teacher.

"Sir, you have me 150% out of a possible 100% on the practical exam. This must be a mistake!"

The teacher replies, "It's no mistake. 50% of the grade is for perfect disassembly of the en...

Passenger asked a flight attended “How often do planes crash?”

Flight attended “Just once.”

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why's the groom wearing black?"

What happens when a necrophiliac attends a funeral?

Mourning wood

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One day at school the home room teacher was absent and the kids had a substitute. He started class and took attendance. 15 minutes late, a boy showed up.

Trying do do his job well he asked, where have you been?

The boy, John, responded " I was on Cherry Hill."

"ok" said the teacher. "Well take a seat." So the boy did.

Than 7 minutes later another boy, Lenny, got to class. "Why are you so late?!" The confused substitute teacher a...

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A man was pressured by his parents to attend a formal gathering...

Everything was going fairly well. He was largely being ignored, which was for the best so he avoided saying anything to embarrass himself.
Unfortunately, he had been holding in a nearly full bladder full a while and it could not wait until the end of the party. he had no choice but to walk up to ...

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Doctor is giving a physical exam to a lady

he asks her to remove her shirt, when he then noticed she had a bruise in the shape of the letter "H" on her chest.

When he asked about it, she said that her boyfriend attends Harvard, and that he's so proud of it that he never takes off his school sweater, even when they have sex.

So ...

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We were forced to attend a sex ed lesson on how to hold orgasms

Nobody came

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a "Honk" if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the s...

Who is the new flight attendant?

Stewart is.

A pianist, a dancer and an alcoholic are attending a party

The doorman asks the pianist "what are you here for?", "I'm here to play music" and the doorman directs him to the instruments on stage.

The doorman asks the dancer "what are you here for?", "I'm here to get my groove on" and the doorman directs him to the dance floor.

The doorman asks...

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A guy was stranded on a desert island with Heidi Klum...

Initially, he played it cool, not making any moves on her for several weeks.

Finally, he asked her if they could start a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs.

Heidi was game and a very nice sexual relationship began. 

After several months, the guy approac...

Four former U.S. presidents...

Four former U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado that hits a state funeral they’re all attending in Kansas.

Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz.

They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz.

‟What brings you before the gre...

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A guy attends an appointment with a psychiatrist...

The doctor tells him he's going to administer the Rorschach (ink blot) test.

The Doc shows him the first ink blot and asks him what he sees.

The guy says, " The tip of a man's penis against a woman's back."

"And the second ink blot?"

The guy answers, "Two women making lov...

I recently attended a catch and release fishing party...

...the music was ok, but the food was off the hook.

I recently attended a Broadway show about Puns...

...it was a play on words.

Hobbit: “What aviation school should we attend?”

Gandalf: “Fly U, fools.”

Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Christopher Walken and Christopher Eccleston attend a church sermon together

Carol Spinney, the actor for Big Bird, happens to be sitting in the front row.
He asks the priest “hey, father, are those guys over there the real deal?”
The priest replies: “oh yeah, it’s a Chris mass, Carol”

We had a marriage to attend at 8 pm. My wife started applying make up at 6pm

The previous day

A redditor goes to a meteor-shower party

A redditor hears about a meteor shower party nearby and decides to attend. However, the party is a letdown. There are no snacks and nearly everyone there is boring to talk to. The guy turns to someone nearby and says to him "Dang, this party is a real bummer." Worse, when the sky darkens and the tim...

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Best friends???

Frank and Jim, are walking down the street when Jim turns to Frank and says, "Frank, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars, with all the gear, electric windows, CD player and all of that, exactly the same, would you give me one?"

Frank says, "Jim, how long do we go back? ...

A Boeing 737 Max flight attendant walks into a bar and orders a martini

. "You're here later than usual," the bartender comments. "Problems at work?" "Yes, just as our flight was about to take off we had to turn around and wait at the gate for an hour." "What was the problem?" the bartender asks. "The pilot was bothered by a noise in the engine," she replies. "It took u...

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport....

After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom."Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful fligh...

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An old Jew becomes rich and retires on a large tract of land. He invites his friend to pay him a visit.

An old Jew becomes rich and retires on a large tract of land. He invites his friend to pay him a visit. The friend asks "It's great that you're living out here, but how are you supposed to go to temple?"

The old Jew replies and says, "that's not a problem, I built three temples for me to at...

Why did the flight attendant prevent the raven from boarding the plane?

He had too much carrion.

My father's friend died in an car accident.

My father took me to his friend's funeral even though I didn't knew anyone of the people who attended that funeral. Few moments later a gentleman stood beside me and said,

Man- Hey kid, enjoy your life to your fullest and never give up in your life. These are the days which you'll remember y...

Three men attend a job interview to join the FBI.

The first man walked into the office, and the FBI agent who was conducting the interview explained: ‘To be in the FBI, you must be loyal, dedicated and willing to obey orders. Here’s the scenario: your wife is sitting on a chair in the next room, and I want you to go in there and shoot her with this...

What do you call a pregnant flight attendant?

Pilot Error.

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A blind Pilot walks into the plane waiving his walking stick....

Passengers, All look at each other in disbelief.

Flight Attendant, gets on the PA and announces , "Ladies and Gentlemen as you can see the captain is legally blind, but I assure you he is one of the best pilots with over 6,000 successful flights."

Next the Co-Pilot makes his way to the...

I will be attending a competition that takes place every 4 years to see which Irishmen has the worst case of Erectile Dysfuction.

Better known as The O'limpdicks.

Attendance at my monthly introvert meetup is it an all time high...

It's just that I feel like we're attracting the wrong crowd.

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A Catholic Irishman is on his deathbed.

He calls for his son, and tells him "My boy, go fetch the Anglican Pastor, I wish to convert before I die". His son is shocked! The father has been one of the most prominent Catholics in the community, he made large donations to the Church every year, attended Mass every day, and was close friends w...

Don't ever attend Thanksgiving with a group of comedians...

...They'll never stop roasting the turkey.

Donald Trump is attending a baseball game with Melania.

The game is about to start, and the speaker makes an announcement. Suddenly Donald grabs Melania and throws her off the balcony.

After a few seconds of silence, the speaker comes on again:

"No, Mr President, I said throw the first PITCH"

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The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus.

They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He aske...

Gynecologist Career Change

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and paperwork so he decided to give up practicing medicine.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classe...

Why doctors also need to attend Anger Management course?

A woman comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain "Please doctor, you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."

DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."

WOMAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

DOCTOR: "No, you don't unde...

Please enjoy my best ever Star Wars themed joke...

Irving was proud of his daughter Faith. She was the prettiest, smartest, most charming girl in all the Empire. And when Faith was asked to attend the Winter Gala by Conan Antonio, Irving was justifiably pleased, for Conan was a well-decorated and many-times-promoted military man of great respect....

My fiance is talking about having a dream wedding...

Thank God it's a dream, I did not want to attend

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For the longest time I refused to attend PTA meetings because I couldn't stand the fact that each one ended with an orgy.

But eventually, I had to come on principal.

Why is it risky for kids with dairy allergies to attend Christmas Eve church services?

There's a whey in the manger.

A groom ran out during his wedding...

His heart wasn’t in the relationship anymore and he couldn’t go through with it, so he ran out just before the vows.

The wedding party, along with everyone in attendance, was in shock.

The bride’s father convinced everyone that since he already paid for the reception, everyone should...

Four students decide to skip an exam

Four students were attending law college and were quite used to cheating and exploiting to get better grades. Their final exam was due tomorrow and they wanted to get some extra time to hopefully enhance their grades.

The plan was simple: don’t show up tomorrow, spend the whole day learning ...

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The Swan?

A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, supervised by a few gruff looking nuns.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their f...

I attended Amy Schumer's party, but there was no talk about her.

Apparently, nobody wanted to mention the elephant in the room.

I was attending a ceremony at a graphite convention, with multiple speakers. To my surprise, I was invited to give a speech of my own.

I took the microphone from one of the speakers. Oozing confidence, I shouted, “8B.”



The crowd erupted in applause. I handed the microphone back to the speaker and they told me,


“That was very bold of you to say.”

[A cinema ticket office attendant told me this] Q. How does Reese eat ice cream?

A. Witherspoon

I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.

I was in shambles.

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Flight attendant: is there a doctor onboard?

Dr. Seuss: *[starts to get up]*

**Mrs. Seuss:** sit the fuck down theo!

An Irishman is at the top of the diving board about to dive in when the attendant yells out "Stop! The pool has no water in it!"

"That's OK" says Paddy. "I can't swim".

My coworker is unable to attend next week’s innuendo seminar

I have to fill her slot instead

I recently got a job as an elevator attendant

It's got its ups and downs

I got up from my desk at work and said “I’m sorry, I have a funeral to attend”

My boss said, “I’m so sorry for your loss! Why are you still here?”

I said, “cause it’s not mine”

What party can you attend without an invitation

Your funeral

A man attends the funeral of an old friend

He sees the grieving widow and asks if he could say a word. The widow allows it, and the man stands up and yells “PLETHORA!”

The widow looks up at him and with a smile says “thank you, that means a lot.”

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A couples therapist believes the amount of sex you have is directly related to happiness, so he decides to test his theory at his next seminar.

He addresses the crowd in attendance and asks "How many couples here tonight have sex once a day?"

To the therapists delight, about half of the crowd raise their hands with wide, toothy grins across their faces.

The therapist then asks "How many have sex once a week?"

Roughly a ...

One day, Albert Einstein was on his way to a science convention for a speech.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"

The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could giv...

A woman visits her son at the uni he attends

A woman visits her son at the uni he attends, he invites her into his dorm and introduces her to his roommate. The mother instantly suspects that they are dating. So she asks her son Mother: “are you guys dating?” Son: “no mom, she’s just my roommate, we even have separate beds” The mother was st...

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Sikh Joke

Each Friday night after work, Sardar would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled ...

A husband and wife attend the same fair every year for 50 years

Every year the husband asks his wife if they can go on the helicopter tour for $50 and she says no, because $50 is $50.

On the 50th year at the fair the husband is arguing with his wife about going on the ride and she gives him the same response: "no, $50 is $50."

This year the pilot ...

It's Time for a clear, serious grammar lesson...

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Justin Wilson joke

An old, crotchety farmer woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. The man clutched his chest and fumbled for the telephone to call an ambulance, fearing that he was having a heart attack.

Upon arriving at the hospital, the man, stable but still in quite a bit of pain, was greeted ...

An old woman passed away. Her 25 children attended the funeral.

The priest spoke of her extraordinary life.

“She married John and they had had 13 children before he passed. Then she remarried. She and her beloved Richard had 7 children. But he sadly died as well. But she married again and had 5 children with Michael. Now she is at rest. Thank you, Lord f...

A little boy was attending his first wedding.

After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like t...

I’m so proud of my grandma. At 90 years old she attended medical school

She’s a cadaver.

I used a MeetUp app and attended a BDSM meetup...

but left the meetup a little blue :(

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