Get Together Jokes - 48 Hilarious Get Together Jokes

A group of deaf people get together to protest

The group begins chanting

“What do we want?”

“Hearing aids!”

When do we want them?”

“Hearing aids!

What do you call it when two insect siblings that get together?

An insectuous relationship

What do dentist and police officers do when they get together?

Cavity searches

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A group of friends decide to get together and go on a hunting trip in Georgia to get away for a few days. The arrangements are made and a few days later they are being picked up by their guide 'Bubba' at the airport and off to the hills of Georgia they go.

Bubba decides to hold a little church call before they take off on the hunt: "Now you city boys be real careful with them thar guns and don't go shooting each other in the foot and don't shoot nothing till I tell ya its all right. Now listen up real good to this here, you see them bunch of Hound dog...

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Why can't testicles and prostates ever get together?

They have a vas deferens between them.

Two elderly couples get together to play bridge every week.

The ladies are in the kitchen making snacks and the old guys are talking. One says to the other "we went to see a movie last week and it was excellent but I can't remember the name of it. I thinks it's uhhh... what's the name of the flower with the red petals and the thorns?" His friend answers "a r...

All blonde women gets together and try to prove that they are smart

So all the blonde women get together and decide that they have to prove that they are smart. They call all the blond women in their town for a convention. They also called news papers and a math professor from a local University. The professor have picked out one blonde and ask her a question in ord...

Despite the pandemic, my family decided to get together for a big dinner this Christmas

The food was bad though, didn't taste like anything

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Two smut writers get together...

That night there was a lot of fanfriction.

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A zoophile, a masochist and an arsonist get together

They're all bored out of their minds in their little apartment when a cat appears on the window.

The zoophile looks at it lustfully and says "I'm gonna hit that cat senseless and fuck it"

The arsonist gets excited and shouts "hell yeah!! And when you're done I can stick a firework up i...

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My Father tells this one at every family get together. (Apologies in advance if that has been posted here already)

So Mrs. Rodgers is a 3rd grade English teacher, and each Monday she gives her students a new vocabulary word. The students' task is to come up with a sentence using the new vocabulary word by the following day. This week the word is "contagious."

So Tuesday morning rolls around and Mrs. Rodg...

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Get together

Son: Dad there's a small get together at school tomorrow !!!

Father: small get together.? ..how small

Son: only me...you...and principal

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Two old lawyers who haven't seen each other in years finally get together to have some lunch.

"Life is good," one says, but lately I've noticed I've been getting pretty old. Like, I've been having a Freudian slip or two."

"How do you mean?" says the other.

"Well for instance, last week I was at the train station and I was headed to Pittsburgh. And when I walked up to the counte...

How did Father Time and Mother Earth get together?

Only Time will tell.

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie

Clooney says, "I'll direct."

DiCaprio says, "I'll act."

McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

What do my dms and a vegan get together have in common

There's a whole lot of unwanted meet

A crow was arrested during lockdown for trying to organise a get together with many other fellow crows.

The police said he was arrested for attempted murder.

Two hobos get together at the end of the day to see how much money they have.

Hobo 1: "I only have 1 dollar, what are we going to do?"

Hobo 2: " I have nothing. Okay, let's buy a Bologna sausage and then go to a bar, I have an idea."

So they buy a bologna sausage and go to a bar and drink a couple of beers on the tab. They have a great time, but it's getting qui...

Three different tribesmen get together in a meeting..

The First Tribesmen: My People Can touch the SKY

Other Two: The Sky?

The First Tribesmen: Well... a little lower than that

The Second Tribesmen: Well our people can touch the deepest part of the eart

The Other two: The deepest part?

The Second Tribesmen: Well... a ...

I’m going to a friends get together dressed up as Bob Ross

I hope the night doesn’t lead to any “happy little mistakes”

What is the favorite instrument when two sheep get together?

....a tu-baaaaaaaaaaaa

Some crocodiles decided to get together and sing parody songs.

It's a pun-croc band.

These three priest get together to compare notes;

They are discussing how they decide what portion of the collections goes to God (Back into the church) and what they keep for themselves.

The first one says, no matter how much money we get after collections, I only keep 10% for myself. The rest goes to God.

The second one says, no ma...

#299: Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Bruce Willis get together at a bar and have drinks.

After catching up, Stallone says, "I think we should make a movie with all of us."

Bruce Willis says, "That's a great idea, but I'm tired of action movies. How about we make a movie about classical composers?"

Stallone says, "I like that idea, Bruce. I can be Mozart and you can be Beet...

What happens when two normal people get together?

Pair-a-normal activity

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Some big shots get together for a gentleman's night during Easter holidays.

Three CEO's of some big companies get together to smoke cigars and drink expensive whiskey.

They gathered at a chalet and brought a waiter with them to serve the drinks.

"Finally some alone time" says the first CEO. Sent my wife to an all inclusive spa in Austin. It cost me $10k but it...

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A couple's children get together to ask their him about the origin of their names.

"I suppose you're all old enough that we can tell you the real story. Each of you were named according to the circumstances surrounding your conception," the father said.

"What about me?" asked his first child.

"Well, Breckenridge, your father and I took our honeymoon to go skiing and ...

Gabe Newell and Bill Gates should get together.

Not only would there be some epic games, they could comfort each other's inability to count.

Dyslexic procrastinators, it's time to get together and rise up

Get on your work boots and untie

What is it called when kitchen appliances get together for a meeting?

A cabinet.

Three best friends get together at the bar.

All three get crazy drunk and then head home. The next weekend they meet up again.

Guy #1: "Guys, my life is ruined. I got so drunk last week that I was pulled over driving home and got a DUI. I'm probably going to have to go to jail."

Guy #2: "Damn, that sucks. But my night was worse....

A priest, a minister and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job.

So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:

“When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the mi...

Three women get together for coffee

and the topic of conversation turns to contraception.

The first woman says: "We've used the rhythm method for years. The Holy Father approves of it and its surprisingly effective - it's only ever failed us twice."

The second woman says: "Holy Father, Shmoly Father. We don't go for ...

Why did Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia never get together?

Because Luke was looking for love in Alderaan places!!

Sometimes me and my friends get together to talk about chicks

It's a poultry slam.

A few old couples used to get together to talk about life

They had a good time. One day, one of the men, Harry, started talking about a fantastic restaurant. He went to this restaurant the other night with his wife.
“Really?” one of the men said, “What’s it called?”
Harry thinks for a few seconds and says, “What are those good-smelling flowers called...

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This is a joke I wrote myself. It’s long, but I think it’s pretty good, personally…

This is a story about three friends who had known each other their whole lives.

They did everything together. You could not find one without the other two nearby. But, as so often happens, after graduation, they all went their separate ways. One of the friends went on to become a very success...

My friend and I make dad jokes when we get together, but neither of us are dads.

We're just social faux pas.

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What did one ass cheek say to the other ass cheek?

If we get together we can put a stop to this shit.

I had plans to get together with a buddy of mine who's a clock hobbyist, but he never showed up.

When I asked him where he was he said he was busy binge watching.

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A human couple meets an alien couple

So naturally, they decide it would be fun to swap partners. The alien woman goes off with the human man and the alien man goes off with the human woman. The alien man and human woman get undressed and he asks her, "Is it long enough?" She replies, "It could be a bit longer I suppose." So the alien m...

Alabama has reported more deaths than births for the first time in it's history

Makes sense considering family get togethers have been restricted

My wife and I are hosting a get together tonight that ends at 11:30..

We're calling it a before New Year's leave party.

Made this one up years ago....What do they call it when a psychiatrist and a rapper get together for a talk?

Shrink wrap!

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A woman with a gas problem and a man without a sense of smell get together.

It only happened at night while she slept, she couldnt control it and heard it was bad. She was hesitant to tell him at first, but finally did. The man, who thought she was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen said "That wont bother me, because luckily enough I dont have a sense of smell!". The...

What do you call it when Lenin, Trotsky, and Stalin get together for a drink?

A communist party

Dave, Einstein, and the bus driver get together to write OC for this sub and they send me the material to proof. My response is always the same though.

Already Reddit.

A schoolyard bully asked all of his usual victims to get together and be waiting for him so he could get through all of his beatings quickly this time, but none of them showed up.

End of joke. There was no punchline.

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