This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pair of conjoined twins went to see the psychiatrist. Twin A confessed to wanting to have sex with twin B. The shrink responded...

Hey, you do you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My conjoined twin told me a great joke earlier.

It was so funny, I almost pissed himself.

My mom had two conjoined sisters and both of their names were Andra. When they were murdered, I gave up joking.

And mourned my double entendres.

My father was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

Why did conjoined twins go to London?

So the other one could drive a little.

When I first realised I was a conjoined twin.....

I was beside myself!

I went on a date with a pair of conjoined twins

(You: “did you have a good time?”)

Ehhh... yes and no....

My dad was a co-joined twin.

My dad was a conjoined twin.

We used to call his brother my uncle on my father's side.

They did get surgically separated though.

Now he's my uncle once removed.

What did the conjoined twins change their dating profile to after surgery?

Recently Separated

I didn't really like my conjoined twin brother at first

But then he grew on me

Why did the conjoined twins travel from America to England?

So the other one could finally drive.


(Source: heard it in _Man on the Moon_ movie)

I angered two people by calling them hipsters...

Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.

Two conjoined twins, attached by the face, have successfully been separated today.

Since the operation they've done nothing but argue.

Having once been so close, they no longer see eye to eye.

I want to have conjoined twins!

I will name one of the 'Will' and the other 'Way'... Then, where there is a Will, there is a Way!

What do you call a pair of conjoined hebrew twins with far left political views?

An SJ Double Jew

My sons were once conjoined twins, but they got surgery.

Now I love them two pieces

My SO just left me for a guy with a conjoined twin.

She says he's twice the man I am.

I passed my conjoined twin examination.

I got the answers from the guy next to me

Why do the conjoined twins travel to London? the other twin gets the chance to drive a car =(

What's the hardest part about dating a conjoined twin?

Every morning she screams at me for being in bed with her sister.

What do conjoined twins and Lay's chips have in common?

I betcha can't eat just one

TIL It is common for staff and surgeons to laugh hysterically during separation surgery to conjoined twins.

Well it is side-splitting.

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One of the conjoined Hensel twins is engaged. Not the other. Men are asking all kinds of questions. How will that work kind of things. Women already know the answer. [OC]

It will be fine. They have practiced sharing one asshole their whole lives.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend broke up with me because I fucked her twin sister.

It’s not my fault. They’re conjoined at the hip.

There’s this condition where twins are connected at the elbow and always laugh together, never separately.

It’s called conjoined Humor

A three legged man walks into a bar.

Bartender looks at him and asked, conjoined twin?

No thanks, I'll just have a whiskey.

My ex hated when I started dating her twin sister.

Like it's my fault they're conjoined.

Sometimes self-care means cutting out toxic people.

If you ever met my conjoined twin, Your Honor, I think you'd understand.

A guy is talking to two women in a bar...

A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be
conjoined twins and they wind up back at his apartment.

He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he asks her what she'd like to do.

She sa...

Toll Joke my buddy made up.

A young new toll operator is having his first day on the job with a skilled veteran of the booth. As they work in their conjoined shift, the veteran points out a gold Mercedes pulling up in the toll line. The Veteran nudges the kid and says " Dat guy dere ain't gone pay his full toll. " the young ne...

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