UPJOKE
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IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON TWITTER THAT SAYS "LEBRON JAMES NUDES" DON'T CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.

WARNING! There is a link being sent around with a message that says "Justin Bieber's Latest Album". DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK!

It will take you to Justin Bieber's latest album.

What do you get when YouTubers Rhett & Link pass away?

Good Mythical Mourning

Joke about a Pole in a swearing competition

A contest was set up. By who? Nobody knows.


But, the general gist was this - whoever can maintain the longest flow of cursewords wins... something.


And so, a Britton, a Frenchman, a Russian and a Pole get into the finals. Each have their own booths to psyche up and prepare for ...

LinkedIn is like reverse dating site for IT nerds

They get a lot of messages from girls

But ignore most of them

They say correlation does not imply causation

But have you noticed how often sentences with the word "correlation" also have the word "causation"? I think there’s a link here

“meta” mates

Facebook employees are now > Metamates
LinkedIn > Inmates
Amazon > Primates
Tinder > Intimates
ServiceNow > Nowmates
Snowflake > Snowmates
Postmates > Postmatemates

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If you get a link called "free p0rn" don't opin it.

It's a virus wich deactivates your spelchek and fcuks up you riting.

I receibed it but lukily I don't wach p0rn so I dint opin it.

Plees warm you frends

Wanks

Mr Brown was an avid golfer, who was terrible, yet every chance he'd get, he's hitting the links.

One day, as he was heading out, his wife asked him to take their son with him, since she was going to be too busy.

Reluctantly, he agreed, and loaded up the car to go to the course.

Knowing that his son wasn't athletically gifted, he decided he was going to use him to keep score for hi...

I accidentally clicked on a pop-up link that said, “Free Justin Bieber tickets inside!”

Thankfully it was just a virus.

I really wanted to share a link to Weird Al's 1984 Michael Jackson parody today but I realized

That I can't have my Cake Day and Eat It, too.

Why won't republicans impeach Trump?

Because they insist on carrying babies to full term.

OP is here, I heard this from a friend at work:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/search?q=Because%20they%20insist%20on%20carrying%20babies%20to%20full%20term.&restrict\_sr=1&type=link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/search?q=B...

The FBI recently found a common link amoung those that stormed the capital on the January 6th riots.

Turns out they all shop at Traitor Joes.

I tried searching up "Dementia" on google

but for some reason, all the links were purple.

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A German butcher and a Polish butcher started a competition...

...to see who could make the longest continuous chain of sausage links in one hour.

It was a tight competitions; both men take pride in their craft and in their sausage-slinging heritage. The two were neck-in-neck up until the 59th minute, wherein the Polish butcher had a slip of the hand an...

Scientist recently linked a disease to women acting like a Karen.

It's mad cow disease.

What are the chances people stop mistaking Link for Zelda?

Hylian likely

Don't step on the chickens

Three men die and come to the pearly gates. They swing open and they hear the voice of god booming: "Be welcome to heaven, but don't step on the chickens!" and as far as the eye can see there are chickens EVERYWHERE.

One guy is like, "forget this!" and instantly steps on a chicken. They hear ...

An atheist is hiking in the woods...

So an atheist is hiking in the woods when he stumbles across a huge hungry grizzly bear. The bear rears up to full height and gives a roar as it leans in toward the man. The atheist screams in terror "Oh God, help me!!!"

Suddenly, everything--> the bear, the trees, the birds, everything bu...

What did Zelda suggest to Link when diplomacy didn't work?

Try-force

Today I learned about the links between high intelligence and depression

I just wish it made me feel better....

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Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker...

So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus

What did Zelda say to Link when he couldn’t open the door?

Triforce.

Link: when I get hurt I lose hearts

**Sonic:** when I get hurt I drop rings

**Mario: *[self conscious about his height]*:** can-a we talk about-a something else-a?

WARNING IF YOU HAVE SEEN A LINK ON THE INTERNET OFFERING FREE DONUTS, DO NOT CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT FORCES CAPS LOCK TO BE PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED ON YOUR COMPUTER!

// THE POLICE

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What else could he say??

A young couple decided to take their 5 year old son to see the circus. After several amazing acts, the ringmaster led six bull elephants into the center ring, linked trunk to tail in the usual manner.

"What's that big thing hanging off the elephant, Mommy?" Little Johnny asked.

"That...

Why doen't Ganon use the Internet?

Too many Links

What was the Golf Course in Hyrule Forest called?

Link's Links.

Quasimodo needs a vacation.

He goes to the Dean of the cathedral and asks for a leave. He’s told taking time off is OK if he will arrange for someone to take his place temporarily. So Quasimodo posts a job on LinkedIn for a bell ringer.
Several people respond but the best candidates were a pair of twins. They were quite eag...

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I clicked on a link for a naked Trump leak.

Turned out it was just fake nudes.

I asked my Magic 8 Ball if linking my Gmail messages to my Microsoft email client would be a good idea.

"Outlook not so good"

I tried to rickroll everyone on r/Jokes with a link but

You know the rules and so do I

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How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

Q: How many group members does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the...

Why do people keep linking me to r/wooosh ?

I don’t get it

Why did Reddit mods take down Darwin’s theory of evolution post?

The link was missing

Given Isaac Newton's links to the slave trade,

perhaps we ought to abolish gravity.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.

My debit card was declined at the local Marijuana dispencery today

Turns out the card was not linked to a joint account

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There once was a man with an extremely high-pitched voice

(For retelling, ^(superscript) is high-pitched/falsetto voice)

He had since long passed puberty, but while his friends got deep, manly voices, his remained so high that he ^(spoke like this). Ever since then, it had been a tremendous source of insecurity. Now, he was in his thirties, and he r...

A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are gross!"

I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."






credits to Adele Cliff, from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Link in the comments

If you're going to take offense...

would it be chain link or picket ?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am currently investigating a possible link between Jeffrey Epstein and Osama Bin Ladin.

I mean where else would Bin Laden get the 72 virgins he was always talking about?

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Link walks into a guy's house and smashes the only pot in his house.

He takes the 20 rupees that he finds inside. Of course, the guy's not happy about this.

"Hey, you little buttwipe, are you robbing me or something?"

Link feels bad, so he gives the guy his 20 rupees back.

"Take this. You urned it."

Almost immediately after making my first joke here, I got a brand new follower!

I was very excited, so I went to their profile. I think they're a new account, they only have one post, and when I clicked on the link in the post, it took me to a site that immediately asked if I was over 18

I guess my joke was a little immature, sure, but there's gotta be nicer ways of sayi...

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THERE IS A VIRUS GOING AROUND REDDIT W THE LINK "CO-EDS.AVI" THAT MAKES YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS

I DIDNT CLICK ON IT BC I DONT WATCH PORN BUT BE ON THE LOOK OUT..

What do Link and Tony Stark have in common?

They're both smashing pots

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony,...

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce.

*Not my joke, discovered it in my old 90's Nintendo Power magazine*

*EDIT* just realized someone found the same gems that i did

https://www.reddit.com/r/zelda/comments/3t1qt4/some_classic_zelda_jokes_from_an_old_issue_of/

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If you get an email saying "click this link to hear Nickelback's new album for free" DO NOT CLICK IT

It will take you directly to a site where you can hear Nickelback's new album for free.

New Zelda game, starring just the princess, that ties all the story lines together...

"The Missing Link"

A smoothie bar serving combined fruit and vegetable drinks has been linked to bouts of depression and suicide...

Their "Melon-Cauli" smoothie has now been withdrawn...

Came up with this one 6 years ago. Zelda Lame Joke #18:

What hotel does Link stay at?

..


..




..


.
.


The Hyatt!

One day TV is broadcasting about a gun shot in campus and the experts analyze that it is linked to the murder's massive time in playing violence video game.

Mum: No sense, my son is always playing dating sims and he still unable to find a girlfriend.

What game character takes you to a website?

Link.

Friend of mine sends me a link to a reposted joke on r/Jokes

I say : "No thanks, I've already Reddit."

A newly released Harvard study links NFL head trauma to erectile dysfunction...

The players could sue but I dont think it would stand up in court.

How did Link win the basketball game?

With his hookshot... (Sorry)

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