UPJOKE
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IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON TWITTER THAT SAYS "LEBRON JAMES NUDES" DON'T CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.

Which hotel chain does Link prefer?

HYAAAATT!!!

I accidentally clicked on a pop-up link that said, “Free Justin Bieber tickets inside!”

Thankfully it was just a virus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker...

So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus

Be careful about emails from weird addresses with long links or strange files attached

They could be from your parents

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you gets a link called 'free porn' don't open it.

It is a birus wich deactivates your spelchek and garblis up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it. Lil

I really wanted to share a link to Weird Al's 1984 Michael Jackson parody today but I realized

That I can't have my Cake Day and Eat It, too.

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I clicked on a link for a naked Trump leak.

Turned out it was just fake nudes.

My friend sent me a link to download the images from the James Webb Telescope.

I told him I would download them, but I don’t have space on my phone.

What do you get when YouTubers Rhett & Link pass away?

Good Mythical Mourning

In the early days of mixed play, an English couple, an Irish couple and a Scottish couple are at the links ready to tee off.

The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee first and as she bends over to place ball a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.


“Allo! Why aren’t you wearing any knickers?” her husband demanded. “Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy a...

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A guy and a gal link up in a bar.

They talk, they connect, they go back to her place.

Things get heavy pretty quickly on the sofa, and they go into the bedroom.

After some foreplay, as the guy is about to attempt entry, the gal screams: "Your toe! Your toe!"

The fellow doesn't quite understand and asks what she...

Why won't republicans impeach Trump?

Because they insist on carrying babies to full term.

OP is here, I heard this from a friend at work:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/search?q=Because%20they%20insist%20on%20carrying%20babies%20to%20full%20term.&restrict\_sr=1&type=link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/search?q=B...

What did Zelda suggest to Link when diplomacy didn't work?

Try-force

2 eggs, a sausage link, a piece of toast and 3 pancakes walk into a bar.

2 eggs, a sausage link, a piece of toast and 3 pancakes walk into a bar. They walk up to the counter and order some drinks. The bartender says,

Sorry, we dont serve breakfast

What are the chances people stop mistaking Link for Zelda?

Hylian likely

I uninstalled Facebook as I got depressed seeing my friends post their relationship and marriage.

I uninstalled LinkedIn as I got depressed seeing my colleague post their job change and promotion.

I uninstalled instagram as I got depressed seeing my friends travel and enjoy their lives.

But I'll never uninstall reddit because you guys are more miserable than me .

Why was the narrow strip of land with sea on either side, forming a link between two larger areas of land so happy?

It was a merry isthmus!

LinkedIn is like reverse dating site for IT nerds

They get a lot of messages from girls

But ignore most of them

A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are gross!"

I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."






credits to Adele Cliff, from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Link in the comments

Why do people keep linking me to r/wooosh ?

I don’t get it

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce.

*Not my joke, discovered it in my old 90's Nintendo Power magazine*

*EDIT* just realized someone found the same gems that i did

https://www.reddit.com/r/zelda/comments/3t1qt4/some_classic_zelda_jokes_from_an_old_issue_of/

Scientist recently linked a disease to women acting like a Karen.

It's mad cow disease.

What was the ancient language Link needed a book to translate in "A Link to the Past"?

Hyruleglyphics.

What did Zelda say to Link when he couldn’t open the door?

Triforce.

Given Isaac Newton's links to the slave trade,

perhaps we ought to abolish gravity.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.

What do Link and Tony Stark have in common?

They're both smashing pots

Today I learned about the links between high intelligence and depression

I just wish it made me feel better....

How did Link win the basketball game?

With his hookshot... (Sorry)

The FBI recently found a common link amoung those that stormed the capital on the January 6th riots.

Turns out they all shop at Traitor Joes.

How come Link never brushes his teeth?

He wants breath of the wild.

I tried to rickroll everyone on r/Jokes with a link but

You know the rules and so do I

Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries in Teen Girls...

This is easily explained by the fact that they spend less time on their knees, and more time on their backs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say a man's penis is linked to the size of the car he has... I've got a mini

That's why I drive a very big car

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Serious top linked post on /r/science made me laugh: "Giant methane storms on Uranus"

Original link: http://phys.org/news/2015-03-giant-methane-storms-uranus.html

A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...

She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".

The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."

**EDIT**: Okaaay, this is on the front page? It's a joke my friends 9 year old son told me that...

Hurricane Harvey is no joke.

https://twitter.com/fema/status/902646949479841793


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