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Joining Jokes

The cost of joining the Roman Numeral Society was exactly $499

They wouldn't let me in because I didn't have ID...

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Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...

Justin Timberlake announces that he will be joining the war in Ukrain.

Early reports suggest that he will be stationed somewhere along the Crimea River

I regret joining the gym recently..

leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds

I tried joining a long-exposure photography course, but I didn’t learn anything.

It all went by in a blur.

How easy is it to tell a joke 1 year after joining Reddit?

A piece of cake.

I'm writing a movie about Pinocchio joining the mob

Woodfellas

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Three couples are meeting with their pastor to discuss joining the leadership team.

The pastor told them to be part of the ministry team they must learn sacrifice. To sacrifice their earthly desires. He asks that if they are truly felt lead to be in the ministry they must forgo sexual intimacy for one month. They shared glances all around and agreed, and closed the meeting in pray...

I'm thinking of joining a gym.

I'm keeping mentally active.

Today I learned skeletons are actually barred from joining NASA

Apperantly the job takes guts.

You’d think going an entire year without celebrating joining Reddit would be tough but it’s actually

A piece of cake.

Don't bother joining the rat race.

Even if you win, you're just a rat...

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Joining the church and . . .

A crusty old man walks into the local Lutheran Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn chur...

Two men discussing on their first day of joining the army:

"I am not married, and I like war.. So I joined the army. What about you?"


"I am married, and I like peace."

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Three men are joining the secret service.

They've completed every test and overcome every obstacle. Only one remains. The instructor takes the first man, brings him to a door and hands him a gun.

"Behind this door is your wife. You must prove your loyalty, your dedication to the service and your ability to follow orders, no matter wh...

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My british friend tried joining the ultimate frisbee team....

but he didn't get along with anyone cause he thought they were all tossers.

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Three male coworkers are upset to find that the fourth member of their weekly golf outing will no longer be joining them...

...a female coworker overhears their plight and asks if she can join. The men are hesitant, but in the name of equality they decide to allow it.

"We like to take our time, so we start early," says one of the men.

"No worries," says the woman, "I'll be there at 7:30 or 8:00."

S...

Dad and Son have a conversation about joining the Navy.

Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim!


Son: But then in the Air Force no one can fly either.

The military was trying to ban transpeople from joining..

..which I find wasteful considering a portion of them are x-men.

My printer just told me it was joining a band

Which makes sense.

It loves to jam.

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Joining the Congregation

Three married couples, an elderly pair, a middle-aged pair, and two newlyweds, are applying to be a part of the congregation of a church. The pastor tells them that part of the part of the process involves them undergoing a trial of chastity, and as such that they must refrain from sex for two full ...

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Joining the new church

A Newlywed couple decide to join this amazing new church so they meet with the Pastor.

"Pastor" says the Husband "what are the rules of your church? We want to join."

"Just one" replies the Pastor "We are a deeply devout church and you must abstain from sex with each other for 30 ...

I heard Usain Bolt is joining a band

Turbonegro

What do you call a bunch of squid joining the military?

The kalim-army

I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums.

He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.

What is the first thing French soldiers learn, when joining the military ?

The phrase "I surrender" in german

Ever watch a documentary about joining steel together?

It can be riveting.

Do you really enjoy joining pieces of sheet metal together all day long?

Yes, it's riveting.

I looked into joining a jihadi terrorist cell....

but the membership dues cost an arm and a leg.

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Joining the church...

A newly married couple move to their dream home in a small village. They are not particularly religious, however they think that joining the church would be an ideal way to meet the locals and be able to join in a little with the community.

So they go to the church to ask the Vicar about join...

I tried joining a lumberjack site for some strength tips

I couldn't log in.

Why’d the Jedi get charged with police brutality shortly after joining the police academy?

He used excessive force

I’m joining the Navy purely out of spite...

I'll be a petty officer!

My lazy neighbor is retiring and joining a nudist colony...

...he said he just wanted a place where he could hang out.

We have passed 10 million subscribers. Thank you very much for joining us.

Sincerely Coronavirus

You know, I thought about joining the Navy SEALs when I was younger.

Then I heard people were clubbing new ones and I wimped out.

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Joining a church.

Three couples (young, middle aged, and older) walk up to their local priest and ask him if they may join the church. The priest tells each couple that they may only join the church if they may show abstinence for one month. The couples return to the church one month later and the priest asks them if...

Joining two words together is called a portmanteau. If one of the words is a celebrity's name, however...

it's a Natalie Portmanteau.

Uncle Ben probably wouldn't have discouraged Peter from joining the Avengers

But his Aunt May

A man is thinking about joining a gym.

He really just wants to work on his boxing skills. The gym rep gives him the grand tour. "Here are the raquetball courts which get quite busy" the rep says "and over there is the raquetball line". "That's nice" the man says "but I'm mostly interested in the boxing facilities".

The rep contin...

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I was really excited about joining the Mile High Club...

...but my girlfriend couldn't give a flying fuck.

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Sure, joining the Mile High Club is great, but have you ever broken the sound barrier while sounding?

It seems tight at first, but then the cock pit widens.

What do you get from joining four timeliness together?

Times Square...

I'm joining a cold war reenactment group.

We get together on weekends and hide under desks.

Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don’t we ride our bikes at the same speed?

Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it “synchronizing our cycles.”

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