Two wrongs may make a right, but two Wrights don't make a wrong,

They make airplanes.

What did they call the Wright brothers after they flew away?

The left brothers

A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...

and as you can see, they were Wright.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Orville Wright: "Dick cave."

Wilbur Wright: Definitely not.

Orville: Weiner hole

Wilbur: Dude **no**.

Orville: Cockpit

Wilbur: (sighs) Okay *fine*.

”I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord.

I kept almost dying.”-Steven Wright

I used to date a girl named Miranda Wrights.

It seemed like everything I said to her, she would use it against me!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr Wright (Slightly NSFW)

Read this a while ago, still probably my favourite joke, and felt I should share it for those who haven't seen it before.
A lawyer gets home after a long trial in which it was decided his client-Mr Wright-would be hanged later that night. He is greeted at the door by his wife.
"You're home lat...

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual reunion of all time greats.......

\* Newton said he'd drop in.
\* Socrates said he'd think about it.
\* Ohm resisted the idea.
\* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
\* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
\* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
\* Volta was electrified at the prospe...

The Wright Brothers were partially responsible for 9/11,

so I guess two Wrights made a Wrong...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane...

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat … As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, ” Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “” Business. I’m going to the Annual Nympho- maniacs of America C...

What's the difference between Wright and Rong?

Wright yells, "Objection!'


Rong is your typical Chinese man.

The worst part about working at the fire hydrant factory...

is that you couldn't park anywhere near the place.



(Credit: Steven Wright.)

Made this up. Feels like a Steven Wright joke...

My teacher asked me to use the word "bucolic" in a sentence.

I said, "You want me to use the word 'bucolic' in a sentence?"

She replied, "Yes."

I said, "I just did."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Wright brothers turn their aircraft 90 degrees west when their dad walked in the cockpit?

because three Wrights make a left.

I made up a Stephen Wright joke.

I went to the drive-thru recently. The lady over the intercom asked what should could get for me. I told her I'd take a cheeseburger, medium french fries, and a large Coke. She told me I couldn't order that. I said, "Why not?". She said, "This is a bank."

The Wright Way

"I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."
-Steven Wright

How the airplane was actually invented

Everyone thinks the airplane was invented by two brothers in America, but it turns out that they really just outsourced everything to four Chinese brothers!

I guess four Wongs do make two Wrights.

What did onlookers say to the Wright Brothers as they took off?

BYE PLANE

Please read in Steven Wright's voice...

I was driving my friend around and he told me he was hungry. Asked if I'd take him to the drive-thru. I said yes. I pull up to the place and we wait in line for about five minutes. Finally it's our turn. The lady asks how she can help us today and I tell her I need two cheeseburgers, a large fry, an...

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, ‘What time of night to...

Did you hear they canceled the bacon movie?

apparently they couldn't secure the Wright's.

Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts,"

But, “you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny.

Credit Steven Wright

A book never written.

Equality
By: Sibil Wrights.

Every day I like to take a little bit of time,put it away, and just forget about it.

This way,by the end of the year, I'll have a few days to myself.

(Steven Wright)

Driving down a highway,I saw a sign that said "rest area 25 miles."

I thought to myself "wow,that's pretty big"

( Stolen from Steven Wright)

Why couldn't the Wong brothers get their prototype plane to fly?

Because two Wongs don't make a Wright.

I called the wrong number today.

A woman answered and I said, “Hello, is Tommy there?”

“Yes he is,” she said.

And I said, “Can I speak with him please?”

She said, “No, he can’t talk right now, he’s only 4 months old.”

I said, “Alright... I’ll wait.”


[Steven Wright]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey Reddit - What's are some of your favorite one liners? I'll start...

Last time I called shotgun we had rented a limo, so I fucked up!

-Mitch Hedberg

A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn't first place.

-Steven Wright

Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the ...

When I was growing up, we didn't have a sandbox, we had a quicksand box.

I was an only child....eventually.

(From my favorite comedian: Steven Wright)

When I have a kid one day...

...I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic.

-- Stephen Wright

When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

Humans were never able to fly

until we got it Wright.

My grandfather was in a defective submarine during WWII

Instead of a periscope they had a kaleidoscope. One day he looks out and says“ my god we’re surrounded”

My favorite joke of all time courtesy of Stephen Wright

My grandmother gave me 5$ and said “Now don’t tell your mother”

I told her “Its gonna cost you a lot more then that to keep me quiet”

- Steven Wright

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the early days of aircraft, China was copying some American designs.

They bought one of the earliest gliders from the States and carefully took it apart. Measured dimensions of the wings and body, weighed every single part and even did some careful studies to determine the exact materials.

They put some of their best engineers on it to ensure all the maths che...

What if a dog flew the first airplane?

Well it just wouldn't be Wright.

New DNA tests have revealed that Orville and Wilbur’s parents were actually Chinese.

So I guess that means two Wongs make a Wright.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got on the bus, sat down and noticed a beautiful blonde Chinese woman crying in the seat across from me...

I moved over and asked her why she was crying.

"I don't usually bare my soul to strangers," she said.

I replied that sometimes it was perfectly fine to tell your story to a perfect stranger. She nodded and said, "I just came out of my therapist session and he says there is no way to cu...

A Chinese couple emegrated to America...

When Mr. & Mrs. Wong had twin boys they wanted to name them after two great Americans and since Mr. Wong had always been fascinated with aviation he decided to name them Oreville and Wilbur Wright. When told them that they couldn't give them a surname other than their own, they took the case to ...

I bought some powdered water

But I don't know what to add.
—Steven Wright

A man's best friend is sentenced to death by hanging

The day James Wright is set to be executed his best friend waddled home and told his wife

"I don't want to hear about it, Wright was my best bud but I just want to go take a bath and have one night without the news or any senseless nagging"

His wife understads and says she'll put his...

I got a papercut writing my suicide note.

It's a start.

-Steven Wright

I poured spot remover on my dog

Now he's gone.

(My favorite Steven Wright joke).

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

a joke by Steven Wright

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights

I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

Credit to Steven Wright.

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first?

Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"...

So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

-Stephen Wright

A gas station had 2 signs in the window, help wanted and self-service.

I walked in and hired myself.



credit: Steven Wright

I finally got around to reading the dictionary...

turns out the zebra did it


- Steven Wright

A British man and a Chinese man were arguing

One of them is Wright and the other is Wong.

Zebra in heaven

The Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.


As he enters, he asks St. Peter, “I have a question that's haunted me all
of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with
white stripes?”


St. Peter said, “That's a question only God can answer.”...

Today I was wondering "why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?"...

... And then it hit me.



- Steven Wright

I got a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer.

Credit to Steven Wright.

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