Wright Jokes

The left brothers

They make airplanes.

so I guess two Wrights made a Wrong...

His last minute plea for clemency to the Governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, "What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it."... read more

The Wright brothers must have been vectors, because two of them made a plane.

"I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."
-Steven Wright

Mrs. Doubtflyer

Wright yells, "Objection!'


Rong is your typical Chinese man.

It seemed like everything I said to her, she would use it against me!

My teacher asked me to use the word "bucolic" in a sentence.

I said, "You want me to use the word 'bucolic' in a sentence?"

She replied, "Yes."

I said, "I just did."

Sour patch kid walks into a support group for separated couples.

He says, "Hello, I'm new, and my name is Barry. My wife, Godiva, and I have been together for 15 years, and have been separated for 2 of those years. She claims my mood swings are 'unbearable' "

Everyone says "Hi Barry ... read more

Eileen Wright

Wright idea.

He wants to see if I have claustrophobia.

Throwback to my favorite Steven Wright line:

Realized late one night I needed something from the store and remembered there was a 24 hour market down the street.

I went down there and arrived as the shop keeper was closing up the store.

I said, " I thought you were open 24 hour... read more

Credit Steven Wright

The man starts flirting with her, and in the course of their conversation she admits that she's a nymphomaniac.

"Oh really," says the man, instantly more engaged in their conversation.

"Yeah", she confirms, "but I'm only attracted to Jewish cowboys. Anyway, my name is Mary-Beth, what's... read more

1.60934 Kilometers Davis



joke courtesy of Stephen Wright

You gotta tie the bottles down otherwise they float away.

(Steven Wright inspired this one)

I feel like that all the time.

*Credit Steven Wright*

is that you couldn't park anywhere near the place.



(Credit: Steven Wright.)

When Mr. & Mrs. Wong had twin boys they wanted to name them after two great Americans and since Mr. Wong had always been fascinated with aviation he decided to name them Oreville and Wilbur Wright. When told them that they couldn't give them a surname other than their own, they took the case to ... read more

The phone started having a nervous breakdown.

(The legendary Steven Wright)

I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference

-Steven Wright

But, “you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny.

Credit Steven Wright

The day James Wright is set to be executed his best friend waddled home and told his wife

"I don't want to hear about it, Wright was my best bud but I just want to go take a bath and have one night without the news or any senseless nagging"

His wife understads and says she'll put his... read more

Equality
By: Sibil Wrights.

Because two Wongs don't make a Wright.

I thought to myself "wow,that's pretty big"

( Stolen from Steven Wright)

A woman answered and I said, “Hello, is Tommy there?”

“Yes he is,” she said.

And I said, “Can I speak with him please?”

She said, “No, he can’t talk right now, he’s only 4 months old.”

I said, “Alright... I’ll wait.”


[Steven Wright]

I kept almost dying.”-Steven Wright

I was an only child....eventually.

(From my favorite comedian: Steven Wright)

until we got it Wright.

Everyone thinks the airplane was invented by two brothers in America, but it turns out that they really just outsourced everything to four Chinese brothers!

I guess four Wongs do make two Wrights.

This way,by the end of the year, I'll have a few days to myself.

(Steven Wright)

It's a start.

-Steven Wright

I walked in and hired myself.



credit: Steven Wright

turns out the zebra did it


- Steven Wright

So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

-Stephen Wright

So I guess that means two Wongs make a Wright.

Now he's gone.

(My favorite Steven Wright joke).

...I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic.

-- Stephen Wright

When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Well it just wouldn't be Wright.

I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

Credit to Steven Wright.

One of them is Wright and the other is Wong.