What did they call the Wright brothers after they flew away?

The left brothers

Did you know there were two brothers who almost made a working airplane a few years before the Wright brothers

Guess they were the wrong brothers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

FACT: 24 astronauts AND the Wright Brothers were born in Ohio.

Something about that crappy state makes people want to flee the Earth.

Who was the skeptical man who dressed up as a woman to spy on the Wright Brothers initial flight test?

Mrs. Doubtflyer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nymphomaniac Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blur...

Two wrongs don't make a right

But two Wrights make an airplane

I bought a new phone, the first thing I did was push redial...

The phone started having a nervous breakdown.

(The legendary Steven Wright)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr Wright (Slightly NSFW)

Read this a while ago, still probably my favourite joke, and felt I should share it for those who haven't seen it before.
A lawyer gets home after a long trial in which it was decided his client-Mr Wright-would be hanged later that night. He is greeted at the door by his wife.
"You're home lat...

I saw an ad for Ultra Light beer...

You gotta tie the bottles down otherwise they float away.

(Steven Wright inspired this one)

Do you know what Miles Davis is called in Europe?

1.60934 Kilometers Davis



joke courtesy of Stephen Wright

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Orville Wright: "Dick cave."

Wilbur Wright: Definitely not.

Orville: Weiner hole

Wilbur: Dude **no**.

Orville: Cockpit

Wilbur: (sighs) Okay *fine*.

I used to date a girl named Miranda Wrights.

It seemed like everything I said to her, she would use it against me!

What's the difference between Wright and Rong?

Wright yells, "Objection!'


Rong is your typical Chinese man.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Wright brothers turn their aircraft 90 degrees west when their dad walked in the cockpit?

because three Wrights make a left.

Made this up. Feels like a Steven Wright joke...

My teacher asked me to use the word "bucolic" in a sentence.

I said, "You want me to use the word 'bucolic' in a sentence?"

She replied, "Yes."

I said, "I just did."

The Wright Way

"I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."
-Steven Wright

You know how you feel when you're leaning back in a chair and you almost fall over backwards but at the last instant you catch yourself?

I feel like that all the time.

*Credit Steven Wright*

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual reunion of all time greats.......

\* Newton said he'd drop in.
\* Socrates said he'd think about it.
\* Ohm resisted the idea.
\* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
\* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
\* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
\* Volta was electrified at the prospe...

The Attorney's Wife

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, “What time of night to...

I'm addicted to placebos

I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference

-Steven Wright

The worst part about working at the fire hydrant factory...

is that you couldn't park anywhere near the place.



(Credit: Steven Wright.)

Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts,"

But, “you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny.

Credit Steven Wright

I called the wrong number today.

A woman answered and I said, “Hello, is Tommy there?”

“Yes he is,” she said.

And I said, “Can I speak with him please?”

She said, “No, he can’t talk right now, he’s only 4 months old.”

I said, “Alright... I’ll wait.”


[Steven Wright]

How the airplane was actually invented

Everyone thinks the airplane was invented by two brothers in America, but it turns out that they really just outsourced everything to four Chinese brothers!

I guess four Wongs do make two Wrights.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey Reddit - What's are some of your favorite one liners? I'll start...

Last time I called shotgun we had rented a limo, so I fucked up!

-Mitch Hedberg

A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn't first place.

-Steven Wright

Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the ...

A book never written.

Equality
By: Sibil Wrights.

Every day I like to take a little bit of time,put it away, and just forget about it.

This way,by the end of the year, I'll have a few days to myself.

(Steven Wright)

Driving down a highway,I saw a sign that said "rest area 25 miles."

I thought to myself "wow,that's pretty big"

( Stolen from Steven Wright)

Why couldn't the Wong brothers get their prototype plane to fly?

Because two Wongs don't make a Wright.

”I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord.

I kept almost dying.”-Steven Wright

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the early days of aircraft, China was copying some American designs.

They bought one of the earliest gliders from the States and carefully took it apart. Measured dimensions of the wings and body, weighed every single part and even did some careful studies to determine the exact materials.

They put some of their best engineers on it to ensure all the maths che...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got on the bus, sat down and noticed a beautiful blonde Chinese woman crying in the seat across from me...

I moved over and asked her why she was crying.

"I don't usually bare my soul to strangers," she said.

I replied that sometimes it was perfectly fine to tell your story to a perfect stranger. She nodded and said, "I just came out of my therapist session and he says there is no way to cu...

Humans were never able to fly

until we got it Wright.

My grandmother gave me 5$ and said “Now don’t tell your mother”

I told her “Its gonna cost you a lot more then that to keep me quiet”

- Steven Wright

A Chinese couple emegrated to America...

When Mr. & Mrs. Wong had twin boys they wanted to name them after two great Americans and since Mr. Wong had always been fascinated with aviation he decided to name them Oreville and Wilbur Wright. When told them that they couldn't give them a surname other than their own, they took the case to ...

When I was growing up, we didn't have a sandbox, we had a quicksand box.

I was an only child....eventually.

(From my favorite comedian: Steven Wright)

When I have a kid one day...

...I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic.

-- Stephen Wright

When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

New DNA tests have revealed that Orville and Wilbur’s parents were actually Chinese.

So I guess that means two Wongs make a Wright.

I finally got around to reading the dictionary...

turns out the zebra did it


- Steven Wright

I got a papercut writing my suicide note.

It's a start.

-Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"...

So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

-Stephen Wright

A gas station had 2 signs in the window, help wanted and self-service.

I walked in and hired myself.



credit: Steven Wright

A man's best friend is sentenced to death by hanging

The day James Wright is set to be executed his best friend waddled home and told his wife

"I don't want to hear about it, Wright was my best bud but I just want to go take a bath and have one night without the news or any senseless nagging"

His wife understads and says she'll put his...

If someone else flew first

It just wouldn't be wright

I poured spot remover on my dog

Now he's gone.

(My favorite Steven Wright joke).

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

a joke by Steven Wright

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first?

Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights

I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

Credit to Steven Wright.

A British man and a Chinese man were arguing

One of them is Wright and the other is Wong.

Today I was wondering "why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?"...

... And then it hit me.



- Steven Wright

Zebra in heaven

The Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.


As he enters, he asks St. Peter, “I have a question that's haunted me all
of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with
white stripes?”


St. Peter said, “That's a question only God can answer.”...

I got a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer.

Credit to Steven Wright.

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