Frank Jokes - 101 Hilarious Frank Jokes

Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He goes and sits outside the class and can’t stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, “Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"

“I farted in class and the teacher threw me out.” The principle asks him again, “Well then, why are you laughing?”

“Becaus...

Frank Sinatra was dining out one night when a young high school lad came up to his table.

“Mr. Sinatra," said the teen-age boy, “my name is Bernie Rosenberg. Would you please do me a favor?”
“What kind of favor?” Sinatra asked.
Well, I’m here with my girl and I want to make a good impression on her. I certainly would appreciate it if you would drop by my table and say ‘Hi, Be...

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Frank.....

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Then there was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned round to see a big black bear.

The black bear said "You've got two choices. I either maul you to death or we have sex."

F...

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I've never understood how the Nazis couldn't find where Anne Frank was hiding

I've been to Amsterdam... There are signs pointing to her house everywhere.

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It was Friday night. Frank, Jim and Ed were at the game ready to watch 26 infected zombie girls tear each other to pieces.

Tied around the inside of the arena, the infected girls are labelled A-Z, with fresh meat tied to their backs to entice them to fight. The winner is the last one standing.

Over 50,000 spectators watch from the stands behind a wire fence, betting slips in hand and eager for the fight to begin....

Frank goes hunting in the woods by himself.

He comes across a small black bear drinking from a stream so he shoots and kills it. He then feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and sees a large black bear.

"Hey", says the bear. "You just killed my cousin. What's your name?"

"Um....Frank", the hunter says nervously.

...

Frank the farmer had a nagging wife

She made his life miserable. The only real peace he got was when he was out in the field ploughing.

One day while in the field, Frank's wife brought him his lunch. Then while he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining.
Suddenly, Frank's old donkey kick...

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pro...

A woman named Lorraine Lee introduced her boyfriend, Frank, to her family for the first time.

As Frank greeted Mr. and Mrs. Lee, Lorraine's stunning sister, Claire, whispered something to him. Curious and suspicious, Lorraine decided to check on them and found Frank and Claire in bed together. Lorraine confronted Frank, who pleaded for another chance. Reluctantly, Lorraine agreed, but made i...

I find it’s best to be frank and earnest with women.

In Texas I’m Frank and in California I’m Ernest.

Whats the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry survived the attic scene

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Frank and Pete are playing outside

Frank asks Pete: hey Pete -, do you know what a penis is?

Pete thinks about it but doesnt know either.. :"i'll quickly ask my dad - he knows everything.

Pete finds his dad in the kitchen and asks;, "Daddy, what exactly is a penis?"

His dad is kinda overstrained and struggles to...

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I'm always frank with my sexual partners.

I wouldn't want them to know my real name.

My doctor told me to stop singing Frank Sinatra songs as it's bad for my health. But I just wouldn't listen.

And now the end is near.

To be frank,

I'd have to change my name.

Frank wanted to be remembered.

A group of older veterans had all gotten together after not seeing one another for many years. When they met up they all learned that one of their buddies had passed away right before the get together was scheduled and his wife showed up with his ashes and her husbands request for all the guys. <...

Too bad Anne Frank never watched Home Alone.

It could have been a real game changer.

Jesus’s name was going to be Frank

Then Joseph stubbed his toe and the rest is history

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Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"

Before the mother could respond, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a little smile, Sally's mother asked, "Really small was it?"

Sally replied, "No...salty."

Frank and his wife, Linda, were at the hospital, where Linda was giving birth to their first baby.

The midwife had hooked Linda up to a machine. "This high-tech gizmo is designed to transfer a birthing mother's pains to the father of the baby," she explained. "But there's a bug in the machine. The pain that is transferred from the mother to the father will be multiplied by 10."

"I'm willin...

Frank and Fiona Lames were very upstanding citizens.

They worked very normal 9-5s, were involved in the community, and cheered for [insert reader’s favorite sports team].

The lovely couple had two teenage children: Felicity and Felix. The two youngsters were nothing like their parents. They went were pranksters and miscreants, always getti...

Few people knew about Albert Einstein’s older brother Frank

He was a total monster.

Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-ville or Loo-ee-ville?

Wrong. It's pronounced Frank-fort.

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Difference between a Frank and sausage?

A sausage doesn't show up in every goddamn joke in this motherfucking sub.

Two men and a woman are stranded on an island after a plane crash...

... Resourceful, they waste no time, build a house, find food and water, and globally have it good. After one month, the woman goes to the two men and says:

"Okay guys, let's be frank. I have my needs, you have your needs, let's do it. We'll take turns, one day it's you", she says to th...

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Frank takes his hot blind date, Heather, to an amusement park.

Frank and Heather agree that Heather should decide on the first thing to do, then Frank, then Heather, then Frank and so on.

"What do you want to do first?" asks Frank. "I want to get weighed," replies Heather.

So Frank takes Heather to the weight guesser. "Let me guess," says the weig...

Frank and Harry are at their golf club...

As Frank gets set to take his swing, a funeral procession goes by. He steps back, takes his hat off and holds it over his heart. Harry walks over, puts his hand on Frank’s shoulder and says "That was a thoughtful thing to do". To which Frank replies "It was the least I could do, we were married for...

A woman named Lorraine Lee was taking her boyfriend, Frank, to visit her family for the first time.

Frank entered the house and shook hands with Mr. and Mrs. Lee. There was one other person at the house, and that was Lorraine's sister, a drop dead gorgeous woman named Claire.

Claire whispered something to Frank, and the two of them went upstairs together. Lorraine was suspicious, so five mi...

How old Mildred stopped gossiping.

Mildred was the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals. She kept sticking her nose into other people's business, even if several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities. However, they feared her enough to maintain their silence.

Once, she accused a ...

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The lead actress in the local theatre production of the "Diary of Anne Frank" was so awful

That in the scene where the Nazi officer enters and shouts

" Where isth she ? "

"In the attic" shouted half of the audience

I hope I never meet Frank

Every time someone tries to be Frank with me they tell me something I don’t want to hear. He must be pretty unpleasant.

I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself...

my wife rushes through the room and shouts, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK"

There's this new guy on my bowling team. His name is Frank, and he's a really nice guy and an excellent bowler, but there's just one thing about him.

At the end of every game, Frank says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late." The rest of us guys find it really annoying. He almost always shows up right on time, but still, he always says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late."

One day we decided that we wanted to find out why he alw...

To be successful in a relationship, always be frank and ernest!

Frank when you're with your wife, and Ernest when you're with your girlfriend.

"It's a boy! " Frank exclaimed. "It's a boy!"

And he never visited Bangkok ever again.

Carlos: Can I be frank with you?

Me: Sure.

Frank: Thanks.

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Two friends Bob and Frank are lost in the jungle when they run into a group of blood thirsty cannibals.

They are surrounded by dozens of the fierce blood thirsty warriors armed with clubs and spears. The leader of the warriors approaches the two friends and informs them they are trespassing on sacred land and unless they can prove they are descendants of the Gods they will be killed and eaten.

...

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A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach...

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach as a fit, handsome man walked by.

"Sir," she said, "Would you do me a favor? I'm very lonely here. Would you give me a hug?"

"Certainly," he said, and knelt down to give her a hug.

She blushed and said, "That was wonderful....

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John, Paul and Frank go to heaven (flagging it NSFW just in case)

When they arrive at the gate, St. Peter checks the list and tells them a bit about heaven: "It's a great place. The fountains are full of the best wine, we have the best food that appears when you think of it. Your housing will be the most beautiful and luxurious villa you couldn't even dream of on ...

Frank and the blonde.

Frank walked into his favorite bar that hasn't been shut down by Covid. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the television.

The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at...

Every time Frank went to his friend's house, he found his friend’s grandmother deeply engrossed in her Bible.

“Why does your grandmother reads the Bible so much?” Frank asked his friend.

*"She’s cramming for her finals.”*

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Me: Dad, can I be frank?... And if you say, “Hi Frank, I’m Dad”, I’m gonna be real pissed!

Dad: That seems fair, gonnaberealpissed.

How do we know that the US founding fathers were pro-mexican?

The national anthem doesn't say: "Hey Frank, look over there!"
Instead it says: "Jose can you see."

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Frank and his wife are having sex

All of a sudden, Frank stops and remains completely motionless. His wife exclaims: "Frank, what the hell are you doing?". Frank replies: "Oh, it's just something I saw on a porn site...it's called 'buffering'..."

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Frank asked Joe what function key on a Windows PC is used to spell check

Joe responded: “F5”

Frank said “No that’s refreshing my browser page”

Joe said “No look at the window!! Fucking F5!”

Frank angrily replied “DUDE! I’m looking! it’s refreshing the page, not spell check!!”

Frank took some initiative and looked it up himself to find that the...

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Frank goes to the Doctor

And tells him: "Doc, no matter how hard I try, I simply cannot make my wife orgasm. I've tried everything. And it's really starting to put a strain on our marriage."

The Doctor says, "Well maybe she's getting overheated, and that could cause her to not be able to climax. I suggest you put a f...

Frank is relaxing in a bar.

The bartender comes up to him and asks, "Why do you have such big coins?" for in Frank's pocket, there are some pretty big-sized coins.

"Well these are 10-inch pennies," he replies.

A woman nearby asks, "how did you get them?"

Frank then proceeds to tell the story of how he was ...

In the old days when everyone got paid in cash for their work, Frank was walking to the pub to meet up with his friends when he found an envelope with someone's payslip and entire wages for the week.

His face was angry when he got inside the pub. His friends asked him what was wrong.

“What’s wrong?” He exclaimed. “ What’s wrong is that I just found an entire pay packet.”

“Sucks for them, but good for you. What wrong with that, though?”

“Look at how much tax they had to pay.”

Unusable name

A man comes to the birth registration office to register his newborn son.

The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."

The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.

Says th...

The key to successful relationships is being earnest and frank...

... so when I'm with my wife in Washington D.C., I'm Earnest, and with my girlfriend in Baltimore, I'm Frank.

Teacher: Now, Peter, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

Peter: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

I met a beautiful, strong willed woman.

When I introduced myself as Frank she said "I wouldn't have pegged you as a Frank."

So I asked "What if my name was Joe?"

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Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

"Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

"Then get an air conditioner"

"I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

"We...

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Frank and John go hunting, as per usual on their sunday afternoon

John is blind, so Frank is always there to help him aim his rifle. As they're walking on the woods, Frank spots a deer:

F - (whispering) Oh, I spot a deer!

J - Nice, tell me where to aim.

F - You're basically facing him. Raise your rifle, perfect, now aim a little bit to your ri...

Frank was getting ready to go on a trip to New York for the first time, and was talking to his friend Bill

Frank was getting ready to go on a trip to New York for the first time, and was talking to his friend Bill.
Bill: “While you are in New York, there is a bar that you have to go to. When you walk through the front door, you are handed a free drink. Then you can go to the back room and get lai...

Frank, Ron, and Steve, all avid golfers, die and meet Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates…

Saint Peter says “Behind these gates is the most beautiful golf course you could ever imagine, all you need is a set of clubs.”

Saint Peter turns to Frank and asks, “How many times did you cheat on your spouse?” Frank, ashamed of himself, answers “About a dozen times.”

“Tsk tsk” mumbl...

My name is Frank Ulman; my friends call me F.U.

I guess that makes me F.U. the first; so if I have a son, he will be F.U.2

When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug

His last wish was to be Frank in Stein

What’s the difference between Anne Frank and a Boy Scout?

A Boy Scout comes back from camp.

Why Anne Frank didn't finish her diary

**Concentration problems**

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Bob and Frank are standing by the water cooler...

(A quick note: my Dad's health has severely declined the past year. Over those months this sub has been my go-to source for something that would bring at least some glimmer of amusement and mirth to what have been some terrible days for him. He died a few days ago and I wanted to say thank you for...

Happy birthday to Frank Zamboni

A revolutionary inventor, despite being dead for almost 40 years, his name still resurfaces.

Frank Zappa's children met at a restaurant

the waiter asks them what they'd like to drink.

"A beer", says Moon.

"Wine", adds Ahmet.

"Water", asks Diva.

"Pop", goes Dweezil.

A white guy, a black guy, and a Chinese guy go to work at a coal mine.

When they arrive the manager assigns each of them a task. The white guy, Frank, is in charge of digging. The black guy, Jamaal, is in charge of transportation. The Chinese guy, Wong, is in charge of supplies.

They get to work and everything is going smoothly. Frank is digging up the coal at...

Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...

Just kidding they're all dead.

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Premarital sex

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.

Dave said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Frank replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

What did Vito Corleone's brother Frank say when rival fishermen sabotaged his gear?

"Look how they massacred my buoy!"

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Old Mary and Frank have been having some matrimonial issues...

No matter how hard he tries, Frank just can't bring Mary to orgasm anymore.

They decide to visit the doctor for help, because they love each other, in all the ways, and this lack of intimacy is bringing them both down emotionally.

Thankfully the doctor has the answer. He advises Fran...

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Best pals, Frank and Paul, are out for a day of golf. On the third hole, Paul accidentally putts the ball into a field of buttercups. Determined to get the ball back onto the green, he demolishes half of the flowers in the process. As he raises his club to take another swing...POOF! Mother Nature

appears. "What have you done?!! As punishment for destroying my precious buttercups, you shall have no butter for your toast ever again. No butter for baked potatoes either. Actually, no. You shall have no butter for anything...for the rest of your life!" And then, POOF! She was gone.

In tota...

Frank went to the gym

As he wants to loose weight to get a girlfriend.

The receptionist gave him some promotion pack options of “lose 1kg guaranteed”, “lose 3 kg guaranteed”, “lose 5kg guaranteed” and “lose 10kg guaranteed”. However you must do 1 then 3 then 5 then 10.

He accepted the offer and the receptio...

My buddy Frank is a HUGE fan of diarrhea. I was thinking of writing a book about him, but it looks like the title is already taken.

"The Diary of Anne Frank"

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Many people ask, “Was Anne Frank gay?”

Yeah, she was in the closet.

I don't know why everyone had such a hard time finding Anne Frank.

When I went to Amsterdam, there was literally signs all over the place telling me where her house is.

Two men named Norman and Frank become friends...

This is a highly unusual friendship because their names are Norman and Frank.

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Frank get's hit by a bus...

Frank get's hit by a bus. He goes to heaven and meets St. Peter at the gate. He says to Peter: 'I know I'm dead, but I want to see my wife and children one last time!' Peter says:'Okay, but I can't send you back as a human, you'll have to go back as a spider. Also you have to go down from right here...

Frank is in the locker room at a gym when his buddy Howard walks in.He begins to undress when suddenly Frank notices he's wearing a girdle.

"How long you been wearing that thing?"Frank asks.

"Ever since my wife found them in the glovebox."Howard smugley replied.

I've been coughing and sneezing all day and now I can't stop singing old Frank Sinatra songs.

I think I've got crooner virus.

I'm getting sick of all these terrible jokes, and to be frank.....

I'd have to change my name

There's only one thing that Frank can't do perfectly

Imperfection.

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Frank, an aerospace engineer, purchases an old iPod and fills it with his favorite bands...

He's in his office trying to get his newly acquired gadget to work when the janitor, Joe, walks into the office and asks, "Hey man, what are you listening to?"

Frank replies, "Nothing yet! I can't get this damn thing to work! Can you help me?"

Joe decides to gives it a shot, s...

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Frank the penguin is driving down the highway in his convertible, with the top down, enjoying the cool breeze on a hot summer day when he notices that his “check engine” light is on.

He pulls over into the nearest auto body shop, and after a few minutes of inspection, the mechanic tells him that there’s something up with the oil and it should only be about 30-35 minutes.

“You have some time to kill, why don’t you head into town for a few minutes?” the mechanic suggests. “...

I feel bad for Anne Frank

She had her diary published for all the world to read, which is every girl's worst nightmare!

And she didn't get paid for it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.

"I have a split personality."

...said Tom, being frank.

One day, a young deer named Frank Lee went out with his mother...

As they were carrying on with their daily business, they came across a river with a beaver building a dam.

The young deer asked his mother, “Why is the beaver building a dam?”

His mother responded, “Not for long. Watch and learn, son.”

The mother then proceeded to...

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Frank always looked on the bright side.

He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse."

To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could f...

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The rash on Frank's bum

Frank: I showed my doctor a rash on my bum yesterday, and he was all embarrassed and uncomfortable.

Bill: That's very unprofessional, what did he say?

Frank: He told me to make an appointment like everyone else, and said he was never going to shop in Walmart again.

Frank Sinatra walks into the bar carrying a newborn and a slab of concrete

He goes up to the bar top and sits down.

Bartender: "Hey Frank what can I get for you?

Frank: "let me get a couple of whiskeys on the rocks"

Bartender: "yeah sure, but I have to ask, why do you need two?"

Frank: "oh, make it one for my baby, and one more for the road."

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber

My gf told me this joke, idk where she heard it

What happens when you tell Annie Frank a knock knock joke?

She goes to the attic.

A good friend of mine, Frank, owns and operates a struggling Hot Dog business...

He recently turned to social media to help boost sales though, and is determined to make every post a weiner.

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After the war, Anne Frank went on to become a very successful farmer. She became famous for producing all sorts of goods including milk, cheese, and the most amazing butter.

It was the Dairy of Anne Frank.

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Difference between twins

I've fucked a set of twins.
People have asked me how hard it was to tell them apart, but it was actually quite easy. You see, Caroline was a redhead with an amazing pair of tits,
And frank had a cock.

A woman says to her husband,

"You don't know how to do anything for yourself. I cook for both of us. I clean up. I do laundry. I do the finances. You don't know how to do any of that. Now look at our friends Frank and Joyce. Frank knows how to cook, clean, do laundry, and pay bills. If something were to happen to Joyce, Frank w...

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Frank, British war veteran and quadriplegic, was a raging alcoholic.

When he was sober, Frank was a mean bad ass mother fucker, that no-one dare cross.

But when Frank was legless he was 'armless.

Lets be frank here

That way I can remember everyones name

Me: Dad, to be frank your years of neglect towards us has left us scarred for life and incapable of developing sincere and loving relationships

Dad: ...

Me: ...

Dad: HI FRANK!!!

Allow me to be perfectly Frank...

...because I haven't quite mastered being George yet.

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A woman had been married 3 times, but was still a virgin

She marries a 4th time and on her wedding night her new husband noticed her extraordinary excitement and asked why? She said she'd been married 3 times before but was still a virgin. Her new husband asked her to elaborate.

She told him:

"My first husband, John, was a Gy...

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Frank must have been a major asshole.

Whenever people try to be him they end up saying something unpleasant.

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[NSFW] My dick is like Anne Frank...

.... it's stowed away most of the time and only comes when German men are banging at my back door.

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Anne Frank showed a cunning and resolve that any Jew would have been proud of.

Two years rent free.

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