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Guy: "I lost my virginity to Barry White."

Girl: "Me, too! What song was it for you?"

Guy: "Song?"

What is it called when Barry Allen commandeers a car.

A Flash Drive.

Barry Allen (the Flash) wanted to have an herb garden, but decided against it.

I mean, he really shouldn't be travelling through thyme...

Why was Barry in awe at the size of Kelvin?

Kelvin is an absolute unit.

Barry worked on a farm

He was absolutely obsessed with farm machinery, particularly tractors. He loved working on them, driving them, ploughing with them, and at the end of the day cleaning them.

His room was filled with tractor posters, he often completed puzzles of tractors, built and painted small model tractors...

Barry likes the number five.

He is the fifth child in his family, lives on the fifth house on Fifth Avenue, so much so that he sees 5 as his lucky number.

One day he went to the races, and saw a horse named Mambo Number Five. He went ahead and placed a huge bet, confident that it'll win him big money.

It finished...

WAS BARRY WHITE ? WAS CILLA BLACK ? WAS JAMES BROWN ?

SURE MAKES STEVIE WONDER

What is Barry Gibb better at than the rest of the Bee Gees?

Staying Alive

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Barry gets home late one night......

......and Linda, his wife, says "Where the fucking Hell have you been???"

Barry replies "I was out getting a Tattoo"

"A Tattoo", she frowned. "What kind of Tattoo did you get?"

"I got a tattoo of a hundred dollar bill on my knob" he said proudly.

"What the Hell were you t...

Barry Gibb has revealed that he was nearly molested as a child…

…but the would-be abuser gave him the HeebieBeeGees…

A factory owner is trying to come up with innovative ideas to save money and therefor save his business from going under.

The owner calls a meeting with all of his 200 employees out on the plant floor.
"Ok everyone, we are in deep trouble. I will give $2000 dollars to the first person that comes to me with a cost saving idea."
Immediately a guy in the front row shoots up his hand.
Owner says "Yes, Barry. Tha...

Sid moved out to the city, and his brother Barry stayed behind at the family homestead.

Once he got an apartment rented and phone service installed, he called back home to check in.

"Things aren't so good," said Barry. "Ol' Duke kicked the bucket."

"WHAT?!" Sid was exasperated. "Why'd you go and drop that on me like a pile of bricks? You about gave me a heart attack. I lo...

What does Marilyn Quayle have in common with Marion Barry?

They've both been known to blow a little dope.

If Barry Allen had a restaurant what would it be called?

Greased lightning?

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Barry got work as a sailor.

Barry got a nice sweet gig working on a boat, but the downfall was that they where six months at sea at time.

It was alright they pay was worth it but at the end he was horny as hell .
So as soon as they docked he quickly went to the most seedy bar he could find. When he arrived he quickl...

SEVEN times!?

Barry came back from his honeymoon and was talking to his mates. "Well Barry, how many times did you do it on your wedding night mate?" Barry thinks for a minute and says, "Seven times".

"SEVEN times Barry?! You're a legend! How did you manage that?"

Barry says, "It was easy. In, ...

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So there’s this lady, shopping in a grocery store.

She walks over to the produce section and picks out a nice sized cumber, some large carrots, and a decently sized eggplant. As she continues shopping, she picks up a Barry Manilow cd from the $5 discount bin and a few pumpkin spice scented candles. As she heads to the register she grabs her last ite...

Whats got 100 Legs and no teeth?

The front row at a Barry Manilow concert.

The hidden golden toilet

Two friends, Barry and Larry, meet up at the restaurant for lunch and order some food.

While eating, Barry talks about what happened to him a few nights ago:

“Man, you’re never going to believe me: on Thursday night after being quite drunk, I ended up in a bar where if you order the st...

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A man strides into a bar, grinning from ear to ear.

He sets down at the bar and orders a beer. "In fact, make that a round on me."
The bar cheers, and the bartender brings him his drink, he asks, "So, why the celebration?"
"I am reinventing myself! A new man! Just a month ago, I was miserable. But then..." He laughs. "Then my life changed! I ha...

Which singer has problems casting spells?

Barry Mana Low

Trying to do my bit for the environment

..so I asked my work mates if they wanted me to pick them up.


Sure enough, I picked up two of the work mates in my car and off we went one morning to work.
Roadworks caused us to divert our journey. We had to take the highway.
Barry starts sweating..
I ask "What's wrong Barry!?"....

The Pope is teaching a Sunday school class

"Children" begins the Pope. "Where's Jesus today?"

Little Tommy says: "He's in my heart."

Little Barry says: "He's in Heaven."

Little Davey says: "He's in our bathroom."

The surprised Pope asks Little Davey how he knows this.

"Well," says Little Davey, "every day m...

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Kids these days...

A bunch of kids are playing football when someone kicks the ball over the fence through the window of the neighbour's house (breaking it in the process). No one wants to go and get the ball back since the owner is very strict, so they pick the kid who has the best manners to go and apologise.
...

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I'm terrible with names.

Every Tom, Dick and Barry knows that.

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A man named Jerry goes to his Conspiracy club

Jerry says he did research on 9/11.

Ernie asks what he found out.

Terry thought it was really jews.

For years people have searched for answers

Until now Jerry found out.

Ernie became impatient with Jerry.

Larry walked into the club, late from traffic.
...

Female compassion.

Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife, Carolyn that
the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.

Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him.

Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.

Six hours later, Barry went to her again, ...

At the second annual UK women's rights meeting...

a lady from Birmingham stood up and said,

"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer cook for my husband. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, my husband cooked a wonderful meal, and has continued to cook every night since."

She recieved a g...

3 friends die and go to heaven...

Three friends are on a road trip and crash a die. At the gates of St. Peter the first on is called up by St. Peter. St. Peter tell the first friend, John, "You cheated on your wife 12 times?" John admits this. "John is then handed keys to a Honda." John asks Peter what they keys are for and he repli...

Broke a leg

"Barry, what happened to your *leg*?"

"There's a story to this one."

"Go on."

"About twenty-five years ago my car broke down out in the country. It was pitch black outside, too late to hoof it all the way home, so I stopped by a farmer's house and asked him if I could stay the n...

The Bee

There once lived a bee named barry. Barry was a very smart bee, he went through all of school with straight A's. He majored in law, and eventually ran for president. He became the president of the bee hive.

Barry, unsatisfied with his accomplishments, goes on to go through human school, fir...

New Job.......

Barry is seated at a small table in a warmly lit coffee shop sipping coffee.
Barry’s friend Felix enters looking somewhat dubious. (Felix bares a remarkable resemblance to Woody Allen.) He spots Barry and joins him at the table.
BARRY: Did you find a job?
FELIX: Yeah. I got a job at a...

If a woman has to choose...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

-Dave Barry

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The Irish man at the bar

One day an American takes a trip to a small town in Ireland to get away from the big city. As his first order of business he decides that he just has to visit a bar to get the real experience of this great country. He then places his order for a drink at the counter when a drunken Irish man named Ba...

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